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Film / Cornered!

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When you wish evil on someone... evil might be listening.

Cornered! is a 2009 Slasher Movie starring Steve Guttenberg.

In the fall of 2008, the city of Los Angeles finds itself gripped with terror as a Serial Killer runs amok during the night, his MO being to break into mini marts, liquor stores or gas stations after hours and viciously torture-murder any employees still inside, taking the security tapes afterward to help him relive his crimes over and over again. In a desperate bid to catch this ruthless maniac, the mayor's office puts out a reward of half a million dollars on his head; and that's where our story begins, in a small corner store where the deliveryman, Morty, sparks a discussion among the friends inside about what they'd do if they caught the Convenience Store Killer (hereby known as CSK for simplicity's sake). Disembowelment, stabbing, eye gouging, and beheading are all suggested by the main players, who are listed below:

  • Steve, the gruff store owner.
  • Jimmy, Steve's nephew, new employee, and drug addict currently going through withdrawal.
  • Donny, Steve's other bumbling and overweight employee.
  • Jess, a prostitute just trying to make a living, and Donny's crush.
  • Mona, a phone sex girl, and Jess's friend.

After the discussion, a suspicious man goes running out of the store, but the group thinks nothing of that, believing he was just a simple shoplifter. After Morty leaves, the place is closed down, and everyone heads up to Steve's apartment for poker night, Jess having been convinced to stay by Donny; Jimmy is also forced to participate by his uncle, who wants to keep an eye on him, essentially nailing him to the wagon. As the night drags on, it becomes apparent that Steve's place is CSK's latest target. After disposing of Jacko, a vagrant who lives in the alleyway behind the store, the gimp-masked maniac somehow gets inside, and begins whittling down the five main characters, in exactly the same way they said they'd off him.

In essence, it's essentially a sleazier, smaller scale version of Intruder.

If you're heading out to the corner store, remember to pick up the following:

  • A Bloody Mess: Since it was a ketchup bottle CSK got Jimmy with it.
  • Bilingual Bonus: There's a lot of untranslated Spanish.
  • Black Dude Dies First: Jacko and Mona, unless you count the victims briefly seen on security footage in the intro.
  • Black Humor: The protagonists are doomed by a donut.
  • Bookcase Passage: A hidden room behind a shelf turns out to be where Steve keeps all his VCRs and security tapes.
  • Broken Heel: Donny slips on a donut, knocking himself out.
  • Bug War: Jimmy becomes convinced the roaches are out to get them all, being rallied by "king cockroach".
  • Calling the Old Man Out: Jimmy attacks Steve, calling him out on his bullying behavior in the process.
  • Cassandra Truth: Nobody believes Jimmy when he spots CSK on a monitor since he's tripping and all.
  • Cell Phones Are Useless: Steve hasn't paid the phone bills, Mona is out of credits, Jess left her cell phone in a john's car, Donny fell on his, and Jimmy's was thrown out by the enclosed dumpster by Steve. Contrived, but it works.
  • Coitus Uninterruptus: Mona is on call, so a few times she graphically dirty talks in front of everyone.
  • Creator Cameo: A few crew members had bit parts.
  • Credits Gag: "No animals were injured in the making of this movie. The cockroaches, Joey and Freddy, were adopted by producer Alan Noel Vega and are living a life of luxury."
  • Creepy Basement: Moreso than usual, since the store used to be a butcher shop.
  • Dead Man's Chest: Mona gets stuffed in a freezer.
  • Death by Irony: The cast are killed in the same ways they said they'd off CSK. Since Donny never gave a method of death, Morty goes the extra mile of stuffing him full of donuts, his favorite food.
  • Destination Defenestration: While fighting Jacko over a bottle of alcohol he is trying to steal, Donny accidentally knocks him through the glass door.
  • Disappeared Dad: Jimmy's father is never mentioned, though his mother is still around, avoiding Nephewism.
  • Hooks and Crooks: Steve is hung upside down from some old meat hooks in the basement.
  • Hope Spot: Jess answering Mona's incoming call only phone, Morty showing up for the morning delivery, and Donny knocking himself and Morty out in a scuffle.
  • I'm Not Afraid of You: Screamed by Jimmy, when he's surrounded by imaginary roaches.
  • Improvised Weapon: Along with Mona getting ice cream cones in the eyes, a newspaper mentions a previous victim was apparently killed with a can opener.
  • Info Dump: The film opens with radio newscasts discussing CSK, along with security cam footage of the latest victims being shown.
  • Irony: When Steve tells Donny to go look for Mona, who is currently having her head bashed in with a freezer lid, he tells him, "And if she's got her head in that freezer again, tell her I'm gonna kill her."
    • Instead of deterring trouble, the security system attracts it.
  • Karma Houdini: The CSK, Morty
  • The Ketchup Test: Justified, considering all the cans and bottles knocked onto the floor during Jimmy's struggle with CSK.
  • Little "No": When Jimmy starts going crazy and sees a cockroach coming towards him.
  • Unwilling Suspension: Steve getting hung from some meat hooks.
  • Verbed Title: "Cornered" is a past tense verb and is the whole title.
  • Villain Opening Scene: CSK watching some of his tapes.
  • Wait Here: Jess tells Donny to keep hiding while she goes to get Morty.
  • You're Insane!: Though CSK claims that he's just doing to the victims the twisted things that they said they'd do to him.