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Film / Big Stan

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Big Stan is 2007 comedy film directed, produced by and starring Rob Schneider.

Wealthy real estate con artist Stan Minton (Schneider) is found guilty of conning elderly people out of their savings and is sentenced to three years in prison, but thanks to the loophole found by his lawyer Lew Popper (M. Emmet Walsh), he's given 6 months to get his affairs in order. Stan is deathly afraid of being raped in prison, much to his wife Mindy's (Jennifer Morrison) worry, and as a desperate measure, he enlists a help of a drifter known only as "The Master" (David Carradine) to learn kung-fu and other necessary skills to make his stay in prison much safer.

The movie has the following tropes:

  • All Just a Dream: When he wakes up the day after his sentencing, Stan initially thinks that his impending prison sentence and possible Prison Rape were all just a dream. Mindy tells him that it isn't.
  • Always Second Best: The Master calls Stan his second-best student. After he beats Dang, he's still behind Mindy in the rank.
  • Amoral Attorney: Subverted, then played straight. Stan's attorney, Mal, refuses to bribe the judge, so Stan fires him and hires another lawyer, Lew Popper, whose billboard says he'll do anything. That lawyer does bribe the judge and also makes some politically incorrect remarks about Romani and Mexicans. Later, Popper tries to seduce the forewoman of the jury to get Stan released early. He also states that he's likely to end up in prison himself someday and is at peace with that.
  • Asskicking Leads to Leadership: Stan basically becomes the prison's unofficial leader by kicking the crap out of every tough inmate.
  • Attempted Rape: Dang attempts to violate Stan after knocking him to the ground, but Stan quickly turns the tables on his opponent.
  • Church of Happyology: Shorts warns Stan to keep away from scientologists, claiming that "they will talk your ear off and then sue your ass".
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: Stan has one on his shoulder, an image of his mother with the word "Mommy". An ex-con tells him that this sort of tattoo will not make anyone respect him, so he makes it more intimidating, adding the word "Killer".
  • Fingerpoke Of Doom: The Master teaches Stan how to use the Finger of Death technique, making his right middle finger hard enough to break through wood. Dang also has the knowledge of this technique.
  • Fingore: Stan breaks Big Raymond's fingers to make him stop preying on weaker inmates.
  • Flipping the Bird: Stan picks his middle finger as the Finger of Death for the added insult.
  • Gentle Giant: Big Raymond, after Stan teaches him a lesson and helps him find a partner.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Most of the gang members, but especially Patterson, who goes from hating the very idea of socializing with other races to becoming a close friend of Stan's and the other gang leaders.
  • Improvised Weapon:
    • Patterson has a shiv made from a melted toothbrush and a razor blade.
    • Stan fashions some nunchucks from several bars of soap and his shoelaces.
  • Instant Chucks: Stan makes himself some nunchucks out of three bars of soap and a cord.
  • Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Robbie the Hippie, which makes him an instant target of Big Raymond.
  • Luxury Prison Suite: Stan turns the entire Oaksburg Penitentiary into one, promoting the ideas of peace and harmony and making it almost safe for everyone.
  • Manly Gay: The burly biker who Stan pays to give him tips for prison talks about committing Prison Rape and Stan expresses shock at the idea of people "turning gay" in prison. The biker reveals that he's always been gay, he just only rapes people in prison. He then tells Stan that they're in a gay bar, and Stan notices all of the other burly, leather-clad male customers being affectionate with each other.
  • Masochist's Meal: The Master makes Stan eat some vile stuff during the course of his training, including raw liver of a bull, live snakes and scorpions. A side effect of that is that Stan considers prison food to be actually tasty.
  • Mistaken for Cheating: Stan assumes that Mindy is cheating on him with the Master after a misinterpreted phone call. It turns out that the Master is actually impotent and is training Mindy to be a martial artist.
  • Mistaken for Masturbating: The Master is in the bedroom doing some intense motions while porn is playing in the background. As the camera zooms out, it turns out he was literally polishing a sword.
  • The Old Convict: Stan's cellmate Shorts is about seventy years old and is an amiable man who knows the lay of the land and is serving a life sentence for drunkenly killing his wife, a crime that he regrets.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Patterson and his branch of Aryan Nation. Stan manages to make them stop promoting their more extreme ideas and even helps them befriend other gangs.
  • Prison Rape:
    • Stan is afraid of being raped in prison, which forces him to seek out the Master's help. He even has something terrifying tattooed onto his anus to scare away would-be rapists. Also, he has his wife penetrate him so he can get used to the sensation in the event all his preparations fail.
    • Big Raymond is said to be a notorious prison rapist. Stan eventually helps him realize that he's actually homosexual and should find a willing partner within the prison population.
    • Patterson gets violated by the Diamond Kings after trying to attack Stan in the shower and being thoroughly thrashed by him.
  • Prison Riot: Warden Gasque gives the inmates weapons in an attempt to cause one that would lead to the prison closing down. Thankfully, Shorts and the others have a different idea in mind and instead participate in a dance performance.
  • A Pupil of Mine Until He Turned to Evil: Dang is revealed to be the Master's first student, who disappointed him by getting involved with the crime world.
  • Rage-Breaking Point: Mindy is a stunningly Nice Girl for the most part, but she blows up at Stan, screams at him and storms off after he tricks her into thinking that rapists have broken into the house in an effort to make her emphasize with his fear of Prison Rape.
  • Retired Monster: The biker Stan talks to about prison about is a perfectly laid back and considerate-seeming fellow who casually talks about partaking in Prison Rape during his own incarceration.
  • Ruthless Foreign Gangsters: Dang is a high-ranking member of Vietnamese mafia, deeply involved with Warden Gasque.
  • Scary Black Man: Cleon, leader of the Diamond Kings, is set up to be one, until Stan knocks his teeth out.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: When a guard sees the creepy tattoo on Stan's anus, he screams in a manner that his supervisor compares to a little girl.
  • Sensei for Scoundrels: The Master seems reasonably brutal for what Stan wants to learn in a short span of time, but his final test has him stalking and beating up his one-time martial arts instructor to prove that he can defeat a traditionally trained fighter at least.
  • Serious Business: The film draws a solid line between consensual homosexual intercourse and rape in all-male prisons.
    "Look, rape isn't an act of sex. Rape is an act of violence. And in prison society, it's all about violence. You're judged by how bad the other cons fear you. Raping a dude is the ultimate way of beating him down."
  • Smoking Is Cool: Zig-zagged. While years of smoking have numbed the Master's hands to the point that he no longer feels pain in them, cigarettes have also caused erectile dysfunction.
  • Training from Hell: The Master's training is quite brutal, having Stan pelted with steel balls, suspended on his nipples and so on.
  • Wardens Are Evil: Warden Francis Gasgue is a corrupt and greedy boss of the Oaskburg Prison who frankly doesn't care about the health of his inmates and gang warfare, intending to cause a riot that would lead to the prison being closed down and demolished with Gasque and his partner Dang getting the land to build timeshares.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Dang is weak to nipple twisters, and Stan uses it against him during their confrontation.
  • Where da White Women At?: Stan is introduced selling a timeshare to an old woman who is reluctant to spend time in a poor black neighborhood until Stan invokes this trope, claiming that all black men are attracted to white women of any age and they'll be swarming to her doorstep.
  • Whole-Plot Reference: The second half of the movie is basically repeating The Shawshank Redemption, only with real estate scams instead of tax fraud and with a lot more ridiculous elements.