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Proof that the remaining 10% are worth being thrown off the Astronomy Tower for here.

These are recommendations made by Tropers for Harry Potter Oneshot fanfics, all of which have to be signed to stay on the page. Feel free to add a fanfic of your own to the list, but remember to use the template found here.

You can also add to the current recommendations if you want. Refrain from posting Conversation in the Main Page though; that goes in the discussion page.

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Ad Nauseam by Minnionette

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Since Harry didn’t succeed the first time, he goes back into the past to fix his mistakes again. And again, and again. Too bad no one explained that first time how Voldemort tagging along was just the Universe keeping things fair and balanced.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Parody, Peggy Sue

All Roads Lead to Romeby Alemantele

  • Recommended by: patrckred, Dame-Amaryllis
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  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In the end, it didn't really matter what road he took. Tom Riddle's destiny was, is and will always be in the form of Lord Voldemort.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter: For Want of a Nail page.
  • Tags: For Want of a Nail

All the Dementors of Azkaban by Lifewriter

  • Recommended by: Comartemis, Seraviel, boonerunner, force42, SteakAddictsAnonymous, Fenro, Kazeto, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Luna Lovegood gets a one-way ticket to Azkaban for her role in opening the Chamber of Secrets. When Fudge refuses to release her, Harry takes matters into his own hands... by moving into the cell next door. Crack ensues.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Probably the only Azkaban fic this troper will ever recommend because its very existence makes a mockery of all "Harry gets sent to Azkaban" fics everywhere. Highlights include Harry taking history lessons from the inmates, Luna getting her hands on the Elder Wand, and Saturday night poker tournaments with the Dementors.
    • Seconded by Kereea. My favorite part was either the poker nights or how, because of the poker nights, the Death Eaters start worshiping Neville as their new master.
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  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Ashes by killing_rose

  • Recommended by: Those Dancing Days, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A rose by any other name... perhaps, by any other name, it would smell less like prison. Less like death. Rose is your surrender. You will not, cannot, be a Muggle now. You are not going to get another chance to escape.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: Chilling and memorable; this one will haunt me for years. The POV allows some of the story bits to resonate on a personal level that's achingly disturbing.
  • Tags: Tear Jerker

As Long As You Know That, Potter by owlsaway

  • Recommended by: dezba, Mazz, Marlee Cross, Fenro, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A different take on Harry's first Occlumency lesson with Snape.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: For a "one-shot", it's surprisingly compelling. Keeps Snape in-character, complete with snide and unnecessary remarks, but actually helping Harry in a roundabout way, and showing he cares in the only way he can.

Birth of a Name by nonjon

  • Recommended by: SashaHoneypalm
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: It took young Tom Riddle a few tries to come up with a good anagram.
  • Comments: Tim Roddle! Diva Lord Meltmoor! Retard Old Mom, Vol I! The names get better and better.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.

A Breath of Fresh Air by Ineffabilitea

Business by esama

  • Recommended by: Looney Toons, Unclouded TJ, The Forgotten One, feral, Robinton, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: So the Dursleys have painted Harry as a freak and a criminal in the years before he gets his Hogwarts letter? Well, when Harry decides to find out what those words really mean, the well-intentioned intervention of a librarian results in Harry finding a role model — and the Wizarding World will never be the same. As the author puts it, the "mildest of fusions with Sherlock Holmes". And no, it's not Holmes who becomes Harry's inspiration.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: While it's a little hard to imagine an 11-year-old making some of the plans that Harry does here, it's still a gripping read, right to the end moments.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic

Calculation by fringeperson

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Young Harry liked numbers, he liked using numbers and working out the value of things. When he found out that he was a wizard and had a big pile of gold... well, he had something new to calculate.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic

Captives by Mweloo

  • Recommended by: Wolfberries
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A brief moment between Draco and Luna during her imprisonment at Malfoy Manor, and the events that lead up to it.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Cauterize by Lady Altair

  • Recommended by: fireball900, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: "Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: An amazing, emotional oneshot, which will bring tears to your eyes. It covers just what the cost of war is, and how much it takes away from those who are left behind. It is truly one of the best oneshots on fanfiction.net. That's an objective 'best' too - It's just over 1600 words, long, but has over 1300 reviews, and over FIVE THOUSAND favourites. For reference; most good stories have a words:favourites ratio of 10:1.
  • Tags: Tear Jerker

Cave by Lucillia

  • Recommended by: Kthecloud
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: What might have happened between Tom Riddle, Amy Benson, and Dennis Bishop in that cave by the sea all those years ago.
  • Comments: I really like the take this story has on the source of Toms issues. The comments on it give a lot of food for thought.
  • Tags: Dark

Childhood’s End by Vera Rozalsky

  • Recommended by: Kogut
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: On the eve of the Decommissioning of Malfoy Manor, Hermione remembers the end of her childhood.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

The Children by samvimes

  • Recommended by: Kittenmommy.
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After the war, we gather to remember. And none of us escape unscathed, least of all Draco Malfoy...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: A very dark and incredibly plausible little AU ficlet, featuring Draco (but sooo not in leather pants), Hermione, Ron, Ginny, et al. Voldemort was defeated, but at a terrible, terrible price:
    It will never, ever be over for you. There will be the parades every year and visiting Fleur in St. Mungo's on Thursdays and Ginny's constant, endless, terrified prattling. And the knowledge that you have to hold out your left hand when you meet Sirius because he hasn't got a right hand. And Severus Snape's pale white hair. And your library full of books in Braille.
  • Tags: Dark Fic

Daily Prophet Exclusive by NerysDax and SerpentInRed

  • Recommended by: feral, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Exclusive! Lord Voldemort: "Why I chose to go noseless", where a formerly handsome man tells the true story behind his woes. Let the shocking truth be known!
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

The Darkest Art by Fluffy Gonzalez

  • Recommended by: stubbornvirus
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Hermione delves into the darkest of magicks- namely, economics. Mostly set during The Goblet of Fire.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Short and funny. If nothing else, worth a read just for the last few lines.

Dear Tom by Bobmin

  • Recommended by: Looney Toons, Dor, Twilight Shimmer, feral, Kazeto, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In the summer after the events of Order of the Phoenix, the Order's interception of Harry's mail reveals he is corresponding with Voldemort, and that Harry is starting to see things the Dark Lord's way.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Amusing short with a twist at the end. The Order's growing panic — and efforts at damage control — are especially fun.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Denizen of the Deep: A Hogwarts Fairy-Tale by Hedda

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: What really happened to Dennis Creevey after he fell in the lake on the way to Hogwarts?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Disillusion, by Hermione Granger by esama

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry Potter went down in history as the man who destroyed the magical world. He received a Nobel Prize for it.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic, Essay Fic

Don't Let Me Go by akmdreamer

  • Recommended by: Netherman14
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After his godfather's death, Harry withdraws, depressed and guilt-ridden. Can a visit from Ginny, Remus, and Tonks bring him to his senses? Sort of AU, it does follow book 5 & most of 6, but how Harry is brought from the Dursleys is changed.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Doubting Thomas by Lady Azar de Tameran

  • Recommended by: Piekage, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: AU. After all, every child deserves a mother who loves them. Even those who grow up to be monsters. Luna just never imagined things would turn out this way. Time Travel.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Peggy Sue page.
  • Comments: Luna travels back in time and decides to raise Tom Riddle for the better. The relationship between the two is heartwarming as they deal with the prejudice of the era they're in, and the fact that Voldemort himself wasn't the source of the evil in the wizarding world.
  • Tags: Time Travel

Do virgins taste better? by Minnionette

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Salazar Slytherin wasn’t so much thrown to the lions as he was sacrificed to the unsleeping dragon. For the good of the school, of course. History is never so kind or as accurate as it ought to be.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic

Dumbledore's Monster by Diresquirrel

  • Recommended by: Unclouded TJ, Robinton, Dame-Amaryllis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Albus Dumbledore gets an unexpected visitor in his office one late summer night. The Headmaster finds himself talking to a monster he never knew could arise from his actions. Darkish.
  • Comments: A pretty interesting take on what could have happened should some things not go as Dumbledore planned.
  • Tags: Dark Fic, Peggy Sue

Escapologist Harry by Racke

  • Recommended by: feral, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry runs away at age four. After bringing him back, Dumbledore's attempts to keep him at Privet Drive gets progressively more ridiculously extreme with each of his escapes. Animagus!Harry, Manipulative!Dumbledore
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Eternal Return by Silver Pard

The Exceptional Mr Weasley and His Approximation of Obedience by Realmer 06

  • Recommended by: bluemantaray
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Fred and Sirius have something of postmortem chat while Fred considers his afterlife options.
  • Tags: Tragedy, Humor

Fair Trade by BajaB

  • Recommended by: Ithanyx, Unclouded TJ, boonerunner, Komodo Classic, Robinton, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry confronts Voldemort after his sixth year at Hogwarts with an alternate reason for some of the Dark's Lord's failures, and offers to help him out, for a price.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: A fantastic ret-con fic which shows an interesting idea of what a power that Voldemort knows not could be like.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic

First Place Sinner by Daystar Clarion

  • Recommended by: FatRat
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In which Harry has Petunia's love, though it makes him bleed. contains extreme Mutual Sadomasochism, Basicly Harry and Petunia ritualisticly punish each other for each others' "sins".
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter: For Want of a Nail page.
  • Comments: A great Horror story but not for the faint of heart.
  • Warnings: M rated warnings for Masochism, language, child abuse, violence, drug abuse, and underage drinking.

Fox Ears by The Starhorse

  • Recommended by: TrueBlue170, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: The Weasley family is deep in mourning after the battle of Hogwarts, but George has better ideas than to sit around and cry about something he'd rather just fix. And Charlie believes he can do it. Post DH, Charlie's POV.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Peggy Sue page.
  • Comments: This is a must-read if you are unhappy about how things turned out for the Weasley twins at the end of Deathly Hallows. This particular fic revolves around George thinking up a very clever plan to prevent Fred from dying in the Battle of Hogwarts - or being "de-Fredded", as he oh-so-eloquently puts it. And he pulls it off. Fox Ears really takes you on an emotional roller-coaster - sad, funny, heartfelt and filled to the brim with hope, with everyone being 100% in-character (with an interesting spin on Charlie's characterization along with it) and being a believable continuation of DH before the "Nineteen years later" part.
  • Tags: Time Travel

Frozen to the Bones by esama

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In the end Lord Potter tells Albus Dumbledore how and why he took over his world.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic

Future Imperfect by Lady Azar de Tameran

Gemini by Lady Charity

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Sirius had always pictured reuniting with James when his time came, always pictured taking his best friend's hand and embracing him until there was no more reason to cry. Never did he expect his brother. Never did he want it to be his brother.
  • Comments: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Oneshots page.

The Golden Lamb by Starlit Skyline

  • Recommended by: Gamma Cavy
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A former pupil thinks about Headmaster Dumbledore, and wonders... Tell me headmaster, have you ever picked favorites?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Happiness in Azakaban by Myst Shadow

  • Recommended by: fireball900
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: "Why, Sirius? Why escape now?" Harry's voice broke. "Why not when I was a kid, and really needed you?" Cedric is dead and Harry needs something - a conversation that never happened, but maybe should have.
  • Comments: A oneshot that will have you crying. It takes the lines in canon about Azkaban and weaves them into a tragic story that explains Sirius' life in heartbreaking detail.
  • Tags: Tear Jerker

Happy Birthday, Mr. Dark Lord by After the Rain

  • Recommended by: Valjean, Shadow AI, Mazz, bhadratheboss, JET73L, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Lord Voldemort announces that he's going to celebrate his birthday with Sugar Quills, Pin-the-Beak-on-the-Hippogriff, and Death Eaters in hula skirts. Has he finally lost his mind, or is somebody crazy like a fox?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: Achieves what all short pieces should strive for — packing a lot of meaning into a few paragraphs. Starts out sounding like a hilarious, highly random crackfic, twists into what seems to be a great light-hearted humor piece, and finally whiplashes at the end into one of the most horrifically bleak, dark, gut-wrenching, tragic slaps in the face this troper has ever read. The simple, two-word line "They won't." hurts like a punch in the stomach.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Mood Whiplash, Tear Jerker

Harry Potter and Some Sorcerer's Rock by Silvver Phoenix (previously Silver Phoenix25)

  • Recommended by: Rozzy
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A parody of Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone. In the words of the author: "I'm insane, as is my writing. You have been warned."
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: This fic is okay on its own, but the sequels (Harry Potter and the Chamberpot of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of a Cabana and Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire) are some of the funniest and craziest fanfics I've ever read—and I first read them a long time ago. The sequels were taken off fanfiction.net due to gratuitous (and hilarious) celebrity cameos, but can be found in all their glory at Silvver Phoenix's website. Highlights include Gangster!Twins Lil' Fred and Big G, Harry temporarily joining the Spice Girls and John Stamos being trapped under an overturned laundry basket.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Parody

Harry Potter and the Hogwart's Day of Compliments bye Drea Leeways

  • Recommended by: maronk
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: third year, Dumbledore gets an crazy idea: give each other compliments, otherwise you get stuck together, whether you like it or not, until the charm he has cast wears off at the end of the day. Chaos and hilarity ensues.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Despite the near lack of reviews, it is really good and funny, not to mention quite long for a one shot.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Parody

Harry Potter and the Tigers' Wrath by roisaber

  • Recommended by: czarangelus
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A deep, thoughtful tragedy that reflects a philosophical longing for the Other in the manner of late 19th century - just kidding. Everyone gets mauled to death by tigers.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Harry Potter and the Trouble with Sorting Hats by Durandall (Brian Randall)

Harry Potters Anonymous by Lifewriter

  • Recommended by: SteakAddictsAnonymous, feral
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: An extradimensional meeting of supernatural beings is crashed by none other than Harry Potter.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: In a nutshell, the Harry Potters of every respective fanfiction get together for a group meeting. The ensuing Hilarity is quite fun.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Harry's Little Army of Psychos by RuneWitchSakura

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Ron tries to explain to the twins just how Harry made the Ministry of Magic make a new classification for magical creatures, and why the puffskeins were now considered the scariest magical creatures of all time.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Hedwig and the Goblet of Fire by Meteoricshipyards

  • Recommended by: Unclouded TJ, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry uses Hedwig to test the restrictions on the Goblet of Fire. Obviously, they're not good enough to stop the smartest owl in Britain!
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: The Blood Sharpie: Sure, it's crack, and yes, it's an rather intriguing premise, but the fic itself reads more like a story outline than an actual story. What took a whole book in canon is glossed over in about five minutes here. Good for a laugh, but don't read this looking for something engaging.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Hermione Writes Bad Fanfiction by 3theCaptain

  • Recommended by: ParkourPaisho, GamesOfTheVideo,Y.S.Jennis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A fanfiction about Hermione writing a fanfiction about herself writing a fanfiction about herself.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Supremely meta and has to be read to be believed. It's a one-shot, so it's a really quick and easy read. It somehow SIMULTANEOUSLY plays straight AND parodies lemon. It starts off really well-written (enough to make you think it could be a serious story) then dissolves into hilarious trollville, only to snap back to reality at the last minute. It's a good bet, whether you're looking for a quick laugh or want to really think about the way good writers can become My Immortal knock offs. Last comment: plays Draco in Leather Pants LITERALLY. Hilarity ensues.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor, Parody

Hogwarts, to welcome you home by gedsparrowhawk

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After the war, Harry comes back to Hogwarts to become the new DADA professor. Because he was always meant to be a teacher.
  • Tags: Fluff

Ho Mione Grunger & the TOTALLY Original Plotline! by cyberwulf

  • Recommended by: Goodwrench, Y.S. Jennis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Liek, 'Mia comes back to hogwars one September and is liek TOTALLY different and has her heart set on a special someone!111 how will the others react?wait and see!1111 if u dont like DONT READ U MEANIEEEES!11111 i'll only write more if i get enuff REVIEWS!111111. Yeah, it's totally unreadable.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Best Harry Potter parody I've ever read. Truly dire Goth Hermione.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Parody

Honestly, Headmaster by Meteoricshipyards

  • Recommended by: Kogut, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry has to explain what happened last night to Headmaster Dumbledore.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

How The Brazilian Boa Constrictor Did Not Help Harry Potter Defeat Voldemort by Marauder

  • Recommended by: Lost Lenore, Fenro
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Hermione has given Harry an idea on how to defeat Voldemort, but the boa constrictor isn't convinced...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: The first line is rather amusing, and the plan is rather amazing. Pity it doesn't work.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

How Xenophilius Lovegood Saved Britain by Arpad Hrunta

I'll Shoot the Shot, Bang by wandlorean

  • Recommended by: Str8Shoot, Powerupz 77
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry travels back in time to shape the future into a happier one, but will he listen to Hermione's warning?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: This, ladies and gentlemen, is a wonderfully original take on time travel. I recently stumbled upon this little gem and am very thankful I discovered it. It is extremely well-written and the characterizations are spot-on. Time travel has become an overused plot in Harry Potter fanfiction but, here, the author takes the idea and turns it into something unique and chilling. With fics like this one, you have a character going back in time to change certain things about the future, but what would happen if information about the future was given to someone like Severus Snape; a young, proud, active Death Eater very much capable of committing evil acts? Just when you think you know where things are headed, the author spins everything around, smacking you across the face with a horrifying, tragic, and absolutely delicious twist at the end. A haunting, bleak, and original story with solid writing. It will leave you speechless and feeling like you've been punched in the gut. Really, there are no words. I highly recommend it.
  • Tags: Dark Fic, Time Travel

The Incredible and Angsty Journey of Rose Weasley, Girl Slasher! by nextgen_mod

In Her Hands She Held The Whole World by Sirenny

  • Recommended by: Thanatos13713, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Three years after the defeat of Voldemort, Hermione Granger looks back on the events that destroyed her world. Heart-rending, beautifully written, and utterly chilling. A masterpiece.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Tags: Tear Jerker

Insurgere by Silver Pard

  • Recommended by: feral, Komodo Classic, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Hufflepuff is the house of the leftovers, the losers, the forgotten. Well, Tom Riddle thinks, it's time to change that.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter: For Want of a Nail page.
  • Comments: Absolutely, chillingly wonderful.

A Jaunt Through Time by Nia River

  • Recommended by: Kogut, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: The odds of temporal displacement were tiny, too infinitesimal to count, and yet… The Harry Potter luck striking again, he supposed. So now there's an older, wiser, more mature Harry (well, the older part's true at least) stuck in the past. And he's determined that if he's going to change things, he'll have some fun doing it. (OR: Time travel minus angst equals this.)
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Peggy Sue page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor, Time Travel

A Kiss of Clichéd Proportions by butalearner

  • Recommended by: Kogut
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: It had all started with a kiss. Not just any kiss, mind, but a kiss he never expected. If that sounds like a cliché, that's because it is... and it's far from the only one.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Parade of clichés, especially from soul bond, harem and super!Harry fics ("By the way," Hogwarts voice sounded in their heads, "you are all now animagi with unlimited forms, including dragons and phoenixes with their full magical abilities. Not that it matters, I just wanted to inform you.")
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Cliché Storm, Humor

The Last Straw by AlbusPHolmes

  • Recommended by: Kogut
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A chance encounter leads Dumbledore to finally make the decision to confront his demons. Or more specifically the one demon who started it all - Gellert Grindelwald.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Lessons With Hagrid by NothingPretentious

  • Recommended by: geek0girl0extraodinare, Unclouded TJ, Looney Toons, SashaHoneypalm, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: "Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?"... Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Far from stupid, this is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. It manages to keep the characters in character, while exploring something so far and away from the original. While being devastatingly funny, of course.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Lord Voldemort Forbids you to Take a Pee by Writer of Written Works

  • Recommended by: ROSD
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Draco is about to be punished for his inability to kill Dumbledore. But then, a Death Eater interrupts with his urgent need for a toilet.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Starts off serious, but then becomes just as silly as the title suggests. Extremely childish and OOC, but good for a quick laugh.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Love of Potions by alyssialui

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: There are few things Severus loves: his mother's apple pie, reading, Lily and Potions. slight Snily.
  • Comments: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Luna Lovegood's Ten Steps to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse by Ayla Pascal

  • Recommended by: piekage
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry never thought that he would ever need to use Luna's ten point plan to surviving a zombie attack. Harry/Luna.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Seeing Harry discuss the logistics of Luna's ten point Zombie guide is downright hilarious, as is her earnest belief of the neccessity of such a guide, made all the more funny when Zombies do actually pop up. There is some brief NC-17 material at Step 6, but it's incredibly touching regardless. An easy recommend for any Luna fan.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Made With Our Love, by Marauder The Slash Nymph

  • Recommended by: sauronlulz, Darkaros, force42, feral
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry knows what he has to do: tell Draco that he's pregnant with their child.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Short but hilarious sendup of mpreg fic.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor, Parody

A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan

Mistaken Identity by Silver Pard

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Snape is convinced that the second Potter twin is the one to worry about. Too bad no one else seems to agree. WBWL.
  • Notes: Has a sequel, A Mistaken Sorting.
  • Tags: For Want of a Nail, Parody

Normal to be a Freak by Minnionette

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Of all the people Harry might think he’d ever trip over in the streets, Dudley Dursley was never one of them. There's a lesson here to be taught. "Jeez, Dudley, you make it sound like you blew up Aunt Marge!" Post DH.

No Thank you by Sarah1281

  • Recommended by: Kthecloud, Unclouded TJ, Robinton, Dame-Amaryllis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: What if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?
  • Comments: A what if that explores a Harry who was raised normally in Sarah's ever amusing style.
  • Tags: For Want of a Nail, Humor

On Rags and Other Things by Lucillia

  • Recommended by: Kthecloud, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: How Tom found the Chamber of Secrets. After all, what business would he have in a girl's bathroom that was still being used as such at the time?
  • Comments: Unlike the first one, this vignette is quite funny, and appropriately absurd.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Oppan Hogwarts Style by Akela Victoire

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Anything Umbridge hates, Hogwarts loves. Including the latest Muggle hit song- Gangnam Style...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page

A Point in Crying by MoreThingsInHeavenAndEarth

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Tonks' grief after discovering Sirius' death. "It had taken her two days to wake up, and two minutes for her to realise she wished she were dead."
  • Comments: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Potter's Wheel by esama

The Power to Vanquish the Dark Lord by ArgentNoelle

The Problem with Homonyms by Polydicta

  • Recommended by: eostby, Kazeto, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: He shall have the power he knows not. Simple, right? Wrong...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: One of the most unique "Powers He Knows Not" I've ever seen. Brief mentions of H/Hr, but not a central plot point. Sometimes, all it takes is a little snake-charming...
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Proud to Have a Witch in the Family by Lucillia

  • Recommended by: Kthecloud, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Even if Lily's parents had survived the war, Dumbledore wouldn't have given Harry to them for the very same reason that the Evanses had been proud to have a witch in the family
  • Comments: A tad crackish take on The Evans family surviving, and the consequences.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Purple by merlinhelz

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Remus comes home to the shock of his life. 600 word Tonks/Remus drabble
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.

Quack! by Alliriyan

  • Recommended by: Dellanotte, Kogut, Kazeto, Robinton, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Neville's most spectacular Potions failure ever. "You have twelve minutes to complete your cackhanded concoctions and hand them in to me." Snape is going to wish he never said those words...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: "Spectacular" is one of the few words that can describe this One Shot. Another is "Hysterical." May or may not be Crack, but it's disturbingly possible.
  • Tags: Humor

Reach the Open Space by Tinn Tam

  • Recommended by: Magic Kirby, Robinton, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After defeating Voldemort, Harry Potter was about to become the most adulated wizard in the History of Wizardkind. But he ruined it all. And he's damn proud of it. Mild violence.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments A oneshot that I keep going back and reading. Takes a canon Harry and turns him into the person he was always meant to be.

Reclamation by Sam the Storyteller

  • Recommended by: Lavanya Six, boonerunner, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In an alternate universe, one man still struggles with a moral decision made many years before.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: My favorite HP one-shot. It explores the life and mind of Tom Riddle in a world where, like a recovering alcoholic, he makes an conscious effort each day to not turn Dark.
    • Seconded by Thanos6. Much like Dexter, this fic explores someone who is essentially a sociopath who is just barely clinging to morality by his fingernails.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic

The Reign of Theodore Nott by Amadea

  • Recommended by: AwayLaughing
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Draco Malfoy never noticed Theodore Nott at all until sixth year when his task starts to weigh heavily on his mind along with death and all things surrounding it. Very much a character driven work, Draco/Pansy is there and some slash if your goggles are on, but that is very much not the point of this work.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

Roadkill by Piper Julian

  • Recommended by: theAdeptRogue, feral, Y.S. Jennis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Voldemort avoided death as a spirit for 13 years. Strangely, he couldn't avoid a bus.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: How a hilarious accident involving a bus brought Voldemort down. Ignores book 6 & 7.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Shapechangers and Espionage by Mc Junker

  • Recommended by: Mc Junker
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: During the First Wizarding War, a pair of Death Eater sympathizers try to infiltrate the Order using Polyjuice, and it does not end well for anyone.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: An exercise in world-building, plot, and characterization. Features two OCs vs. the Marauders.

Sisyphus by esama

  • Recommended by: PDown, Fenro, Mazz, Dame-Amaryllis, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry gets another chance - and another and another. At some point, they stop feeling like chances at all. Morbid and slightly dark take on the Second Chance plotline.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Peggy Sue page.
  • Comments: This is quite simply the best fanfiction I have ever had the pleasure to read. It finally made me respect the Peggy Sue plot (albeit by deconstructing it and switching it to a more Groundhog Peggy Sue thing) but overall I loved it. It invoked the sense of combined fear and sympathy that make me love fiction emotionally.
  • Tags: Groundhog Peggy Sue

The Skrewt Sacrifice by Akela Victoire

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: The Blast-Ended Skrewts have taken over Hogwarts. The terrified students must find a way to save their castle from the Skrewt siege. And that they do, when they decide to offer up a sacrifice- a... toady sacrifice...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page

So You Want to Be a Death Eater.. by Anonymous

Sphere Of Influence by Bobmin

  • Recommended by: Milarqui, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Harry's trip through the Department of Mysteries reveals the mysteries behind the department. Watch as the Unspeakables struggle to recover control of their own workplace and face the consequences of Harry's actions.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: This story is told through intra-department memos between the Boss, the heads of Research and Security, and a few others. The characters make constant reference to Noodle Incidents from the department's past, comments about the present and side bets that make this entire one-shot a magnificent thing to read in a boring afternoon.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

THERMOS!, or, How a Muggle-Born Brought a New Age of Spell-Making to Hogwarts (Entirely by Accident) by susieboo

Tom Riddle and the Goblet of Fire by Drakensis

  • Recommended by: Looney Toons, Sheaman3773, force42, feral, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: In Harry Potter's seventh year, Minerva McGonagall stumbles across a strange ceremony on the roof of Hogwarts that employs the Goblet of Fire.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: One of the occasionally infuriating things about the Harry Potter books is that there are so many canon loopholes through which a sufficiently clever witch or wizard might have managed to defeat Voldemort long before he returned as a credible threat. This clever and amusing short lays out one such way, supported completely by canon, that Voldemort might have easily been neutralized.
    • Seconded by Bulbaquil — such a simple thing, too.
    • Shay Guy: Amusing, if trivially easy to think of reasons for it not working. Like, say, Voldemort no longer being a student.
    • Or there being no proof that the Goblet of Fire do that in particular to him.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Unsealed by esama

  • Recommended by: Dame-Amaryllis, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After fifty years, the trial records of a special prisoner are unsealed and the details and motives of the most well known magical murder are revealed.
  • Tags: Alternate Universe Fic, Time Travel

Untitled by ink-splotch

  • Recommended by: Komodo Classic, Kazeto, Robinton
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter: For Want of a Nail page.
  • Comments: A heartbreaking oneshot about what could have been, had Petunia looked at her nephew and seen a person, one worth raising like her own son.
  • Tags: For Want of a Nail

Wait, What? by esama

  • Recommended by: CathalPicard, feral, Dame-Amaryllis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Dumbledore explains to Lily why it is vital that Harry and his twin brother be seperated.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: For Want of a Nail, Parody

The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish

  • Recommended by: greeneyesrock, force42, Fenro, bhadratheboss
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: After Snape dies, his ghost is sent back to haunt the Potter family. The true story of how the Potter children got their names.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Comments: Absolutely hilarious. Complete crack, done extremely well.
    • bhadratheboss: Really well done and funny. :D
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

A Werewolf Conspiracy Theory by Mossy Stone

  • Recommended by: Newt
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: James thinks there's a werewolf at Hogwarts. Sirius and Peter aren't too sure.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor

Winter's Debt by La Guera.

  • Recommended by: Eoppen, Powerupz 77
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Draco Malfoy tells the story of the little sister he found he had, and why she had to be hidden from the world. Thorough oneshot that covers her first appearance all the way to the end of the war and her life.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: Warning: This one is serious Tear Jerker material. If you don't start crying at some point in the story, you have no soul. Beautifully evocative and powerful, the ending is well written and unexpected.
  • Tags: Tear Jerker

The Witching Hour by Laiqualaurelote

  • Recommended by: fruitstripegum
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Midnight, and none of the Order sleeps. Angst, humour, romance... the house at Grimmauld Place has it all.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

A Wizard of Her Own by ChelleyBean

Wrong For Him by TanukiRaccoon

  • Recommended by: feral, Baron Praxis
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Slash Fic Parody. Harry Potter scowled as he fisted his hands in his hair. Why was this happening to him? All he wanted to do was lose his virginity! But everyone was just, wrong. Perhaps he was being a little too picky?
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter Humor Crack page.
  • Tags: Crack Fic, Humor, Parody

Yes, Minister by Taure

  • Recommended by: Rabid Cookie, Mazz, Fenro
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: A new Muggle Prime Minister has been elected, and it's time for him to meet the Minister for Magic. Only, things don't go quite as smoothly as normal...
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.
  • Comments: Possibly my favorite HP fanfic ever. just read it and watch out for the ending. its a doozy...
    • Slade JT: Seconded. Completely baffled at the new Prime Minister's name not ringing any bells, but then again...

Yesterday's Orphan by PhantomTF

  • Recommended by: Puidwen
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: Her granddaughter will never attend Hogwarts. Over her dead body.
  • Notes: Also recommended on the Harry Potter General page.

'Sorting Sideways by Biskoff

  • Recommended by: silentstranger
  • Status: Complete
  • Synopsis: For a thousand years the Sorting Hat has put students where they fit best. Only a handful of times throughout history has it ever been said the Hat picked wrongly. In the year of 1991, that's the only thing people were saying. On the one-thousandth-and-one year of Hogwarts, the Sorting Hat decided to change things around. Pity it didn't tell anyone beforehand.
  • Comments: A very interesting take on the usual "character gets sorted into a different House" cliche, but isn't written according to the author's preference of one House over another.

A Mother's Love by Officer Hardass

  • Recommended by ladyofthelibrary
  • Status: Complete.
  • Synopsis: Growing up with 5 older brothers and 1 younger sister isn't easy. And raising 7 kids isn't any easier. But for Ron's sake, Molly's determined to make it work.

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