UrfBowd: My Verson (changed to EarthBound My Version) is an EarthBound (1994) Troll Fic (possibly), spanning eighteen chapters and last updated on February 21, 2012. It was written by DarkAngus (aka notchristopher11, aka Angus) and can be found here
, but dare you click that link? UrfBowd is a rather disturbing fanfiction filled to the brim with sex, cannabalism, and tons of Alternate Character Interpretation.
The story is told by Ness, and is an exact retelling of EarthBound, with Ness being a murderous cannibal sex addict, as well as his companions. Traveling the world of the original EarthBound, they meet some of the same characters, with some of them becoming main characters instead of NPCs.
The last chapter was rewritten by the author's ex-editor Reid Wright (before he was fired), and was a serious improvement upon the rest of the fanfic. Sadly, it was not the author's original ending and was edited greatly by Mr. Wright. The author posted the "real" ending after Reid Wright was fired.
On March 25, 2012, DarkAngus began writing an Updated Re-release named EarthBound: My Version COMPLETE REDUX, which is a lot longer, better spelled, and even more offensive than the original. It can be read here.
"UrfBowd: My Verson" provides examples of:
- Abusive Parents: Pokey and Picky's parents, to the point where the dad kills them, and then eats their corspes without any salt.
- Adaptation Expansion: Redux is this to the original, with more detail and extra scenes added to the plotline. For reference, the original spanned 11,423 words, while Redux is 24,292 words long.
- All Just a Dream: The story ends this way. At least, in the editor's ending.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In chapter 8, the Eagleland army wants Ness dead for killing a lot of people, destroying both Onett and Fourside, and being naked in public.
- Ascended Extra
- Master Belch, a vomit-esque boss from the original game, is turned into the hot woman Mistress Belch, and she joins the "heroes".
- Venus, a singer who gives Ness some assistance in the original game, is now a stripper who joins the "heroes" party.
- Author Avatar: At times, it is said that a character named Angus is with the team. He also seems to replace Ness at some points. His presence in the story is inconsistent at best.
- Bigger Is Better in Bed: The story goes out of it's way to remind us that Ness has an extremely large penis, and it's said this makes him extremely good at sex.
- Crossover: Chester A. Bum appears in chapter seven And is promptly raped, killed, and has his heart eaten.
- Darker and Edgier: Ness is an unstoppable Satanic murder machine who eats humans and animals and drinks blood. And that's only the start.
- Department of Redundancy Department: So I rode mai biek into a cave dat took me ove rto ... ... ... ... A HUGE METAL PENCIL! IT WAS GIANT AND BIG AND HUGE AND MADE OF METAL!
- Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: In Redux, it's revealed that in Ness' backstory, he was raped by a pair of bisexual satanist girls, which is said to be okay, because they were girls.
- Gender Flip: Master Belch and Giygas, who have become Mistress Belch and Hawt Giygas, respectively.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Ness’ full name in both versions, with the original having Murderer and Peoplekiller as middle names, while the Redux gives him middle names including Humankiller, Bloodshed, People Eater, and Satan. In both variations, Lucifer is one of the middle names as well.
- Once an Episode:
- Every chapter begins with "OK, so..."
- Ness uses an overly-powerful PSI Attack.
- One-Winged Angel: Frank has one and he turns into Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
- Overly Long Name: Ness has a severely long full name in both versions of the story.
- In the original, he’s named Ness Cain Murderer Xemnas Lucifur Asmo'Deus Bowser Sunset Peoplekiller Nintendo Jr.
- In Redux, Ness' name becomes Ness Humankiller Bloodshed People Eater Angus Lucifer Satan Bowser Xemnas Nintendofucker Jr.
- Redux also gives Paula one in the form of Paula Lesbian Eeater Asslicker Sexlover Existencekiller Boobies Lesbian Edgeworth Earth'bound Dicksucker Polestar.
- Shout-Out:
- Many words' spellings are similar to the My Immortal spellings, such as "passively" instead of "passionately" and use of the adjective "sexily".
- Also, "mancarrot"
