Pauline hasn't seen her ex-boyfriend Mario since he disappeared several years prior. She's since moved on and become mayor of New Donk City. However, a blast from the past comes to her when a turtle monster arrives in her city with a scared would-be bride in tow. Pauline soon learns that the two - King Bowser and Princess Peach - know Mario. Pauline ends up kidnapped, alongside Peach, when Bowser learns that she's Mario's ex-girlfriend.
This fanfic provides examples of:
- Another Dimension: Pauline's family is from "the Alternate Dimension of Earth", not Mario's Earth. She mentions that most Italian immigrants are from there.
- Bittersweet Ending: Mario saves Peach and kills Bowser. He's given a choice of whether to stay in New Donk City with Pauline or travel back to the Mushroom Kingdom with Peach. He ultimately chooses going back home with Peach.
- Childhood Friend Romance: Pauline and Mario became friends as kids and ended up together as teens.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: Bowser has a Shy Guy attack a chained-up Pauline with fireballs.
- Dark Fic: It's rated M for a reason. It's not all that dark, but there are several violent moments such as Mario taking a bullet for Pauline, as well as harsh swearing.
- Expy Coexistence: Pauline mentions that Mario had once joked that, when she dyed her hair blonde several years ago, she looked like the girl from King Kong. This is in a universe where Donkey Kong exists (and, as Mario joked, Pauline did get captured by a huge ape).
- The Gambling Addict: In his past, Mario suffered from a gambling addiction that Pauline helped him through.
- Groin Attack: Subverted. Pauline tells Peach a story about how a dog once bit Mario "right in the plunger". The dog literally bit a plunger Mario had on him.
- Hotter and Sexier: Though there's not anything steamier than a kiss, there's a lot of innuendo and several references to past sexual encounters.
- Mythology Gag: There's several references to several Mario titles such as Donkey Kong, Wrecking Crew, Dr. Mario, and even Hotel Mario.
- Named by the Adaptation: Pauline is given the surname of "Lombardi".
- Oh My Gods!: Pauline exclaims "Thank Miyamoto" at one point. Bowser also says "by Miyamoto" in a manner similar to "by God".
- Self-Made Man: Pauline grew up in a poor family. She worked as a showgirl for a while but always dreamed of owning property and stocks. Eventually, Pauline ended up elected mayor of New Donk City.
- Spiteful Spit: Pauline spits in Bowser's face after he has her tortured.
- Villain Song: Bowser forces Pauline to sing a song he wrote for Mario.