Things We Don't Tell Humans, by Sinead Rivka is an ongoing Transformers Fanfic that follows the Autobots of the 2007 movie series as they learn to trust their new human allies with more and and more of their culture. As they make friendships and form alliances, it becomes plain that both the humans and the Autobots are more alike than they ever could have dreamed, and that the future of the Cybertronian race is far from over. It is organized into Story Arcs.
As of December 30, 2019, the first story in the series: Things We Don't Tell Humans is complete.Some spoilers.
Things We Don't Tell Humans contains examples of:
- Aliens Speaking English: Justified; the Cybertronians learned it through the internet and interaction with humans, and share the information amongst themselves. The Cybertronian children don't have the capacity to learn human languages at first, though a few patient humans can get through to them using symbols, tone of voice, and body language.
- Ancient Tomb: The Tomb of the Primes is important during the Revenge of the Fallen arc, and becomes important again when Faust realizes the Primes in the Tomb would have had their own Matrixes with them, not just the one they sealed themselves away to guard.
- Angst Coma: Prowl goes into a catatonic state if he experiences an emotional extreme and/or an event his battle computer can't rationalize. They can get very serious, especially when they involve the life or death of those close to him.
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: Chapter 21: The ascension and renaming of Orion Pax, Ariel, and Megivor to Prime, Prime's Consort, and Lord Protector. Prowl has a badass speech, and even Sentinel Prime's revelation that he's become a Naytheist and can't continue the ceremony only sets the stage for more awesome.
- Badass Bureaucrat: Ratchet is a senator. Also a medic, a war hero, a father several times over and doesn't take nonsense from anyone.
- Bedmate Reveal: A variation. Wheeljack wakes up wondering why Prowl is in his apartment and giving him an amused look. It takes a moment for it to sink in; he's in Ratchet and Prowl's apartment, he was supposed to have left before Prowl returned, and he was sleeping on the couch with Ratchet in a pretty compromising position.
- Better as Friends: Bumblebee and Barricade initially don't pursue a relationship, as the latter is a spy in the Decepticon ranks and the former is an advance scout for the Autobots. They eventually decide to throw caution to the winds.
- Culture Clash: This is what drives the original list of "things we don't tell humans". The Autobots are slow to share their views on gender, family, relationships, politics and religion.
- Friendly Address Privileges: Terratron is Master to his students when they're training, Lord Terratron everywhere else, but Terra to his friends.
- Gender Rarity Value: Femmes are valued as they are the least common of the three genders in a dying race, but they avoid being enslaved or worshiped because they are not strictly necessary to reproduce.
- Good Costume Switch: Barricade is more streamlined and graceful around his Autobot family, and paints himself black so that he isn't confused with his Caretaker, Prowl. After he gleefully scares the pants off Sam, of course.
- Good People Have Good Sex: The good guys generally have healthy sexual relationships. When that starts to go downhill for Megatron and Nightbird, she knows something is wrong.
- Headbutt of Love: Cybertronian children headbutt to say hello. It seems to be the equivalent of a hug.
- More Deadly Than the Male: Elita-One is physically tiny (compared to her mate she's still huge in human terms). She is also much more violent and downright terrifies Megatron and Sentinel Prime. This seems to be the norm in-universe a traditional femme frame might not be as strong as a mech's, but it is usually faster and potentially more lethal.
- Papa Wolf:
- Optimus scares everyone when he finds out how badly the agents who took Quicksilver in treated him.
- Ratchet tries to shout down a general who keeps disrespecting Prowl.
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: Pre-War Megatron, Optimus, Elita, and Nightbird are well-known and loved on Cybertron for this. They were working-class before becoming the leaders of Cybertron, and they still like doing things with their hands, Optimus especially.
- Ruling Couple: Optimus Prime and Elita-One, as well as Megatron and Nightbird. Despite Optimus and Megatron being the ones with the Matrix/official title, their consorts are held as equal (or at least, equally capable) ruling partners. It's Elita who takes over as leader of the Autobots in the Revenge Arc, rather than Prowl, his second-in-command in the military aspect.
- Shipper on Deck: Ratchet, Wheeljack, Blues, Techni, and Terratron all ship Jazz and Prowl, who in turn ship their son with Bumblebee (Optimus Prime ships it as well), as well as Bluestreak with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Optimus Prime also ships Sam and Carly.
- What the Hell, Hero?:
- Elita-One calls Sam out on his avoiding responsibility in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
- Ratchet and Prowl call Sentinel Prime out on resurrecting Detrious and then ignoring his unstable mental state, and also waiting to reveal the fact that he's become a Naytheist until the worst (or best) possible moment.
- Megatron, Optimus, and Elita give Sentinel a what-for for breaking into Optimus' office, lying about having called ahead, and interrupting a moment between Optimus and Elita.