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Fan Fic / The Naked Quidditch Match

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After a game of Magical Truth or Dare, the entire Gryffindor quidditch team (minus anyone third year or younger) has to participate in their next quidditch match entirely in the nude. No, they're not happy about this. Yes, it is magically binding. Hilarity Ensues, along with official naked calendars, fanclubs, and merchandise mocking Voldemort.

The story is presented in the form of M-mails (magical e-mail) between characters. It can be found here


Contains examples of:

  • Amazing Technicolor Population: Fred and George dye themselves with woad for the game.
  • Biggus Dickus: Harry. Ginny is very happy when he shares his measurements.
  • Covert Pervert: Hermione has been taking pictures of Ron naked.
  • Fanservice:
    • Harry's fanclub is very happy about the terms of the match, and plan a special edition calendar featuring nude Harry.
    • The three chasers, upon learning that they're gonna have to go nude, decide to up the ante with a strip-tease.
  • Groin Attack: McGonagall tells the team they can get a genitalia protection spell from her to avert any damaged caused by putting delicate equipment near a hard and fast-moving broom.
  • Lemony Narrator: Lee Jordan is once again the lemony announcer for the match.
  • Log Fic: With M-Mail.
  • Naked People Are Funny: Especially when they have to play quidditch.
  • Advertisement:
  • Only Sane Man: Harry, at first. Then he decides to go along with everything and mocks Voldemort.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Harry tries to avoid the game by hiding out in the Chamber of Secrets. Ginny drags him back.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Golden snitches.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Voldemort has one after Harry starts mocking him.


Example of: