The Contest is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic by Cold in Gardez.
Once, Fluttershy had to babysit the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They quickly ran her ragged, so she tried to get them to settle down by proposing a game: seeing who can keep quiet the longest. "Sound fun? I'm the world champ, you know."
Turns out she wasn't exaggerating.
Shh, aka The Quiet Game is a real thing, Fluttershy actually does hold the title of world champion, and now it's now time for her to defend that title.
Contains examples of:
- Announcer Chatter: Two announcers named Chip and Ace provide commentary for the games (and exposition).
- Black Comedy: The semifinal round. Fluttershy's opponent had to pull out of the previous year's competition because of serious illness. He ended up not making it, but stipulated in his will that he be entered in the next competition. His skeleton is brought onto stage on a stretcher, to Twilight and Rarity's shock and horror.
- Inanimate Competitor: Fluttershy's opponent in the semifinal round is Shy Sparrow's skeleton, which qualifies as eligible on a technicality.
- Noodle Incident: Rarity brings up some incident involving Twilight and centipedes.“Oh, leave the poor dear alone, Twilight,” she said. “We’ve certainly tolerated some odd things from you this year. Remember the centipedes?”
“That was research,” Twilight shot back. Rarity arched an eyebrow over her cucumber slice. “It was for science! Besides, everypony recovered.”
“Well, this contest sounds like a splendid way for our Fluttershy to have some safe fun,” Rarity said. Twilight bristled at her emphasis on the word safe.
- Not Listening to Me, Are You?: The fic opens with Rarity telling Twilight the story of why she was late to their spa appointment. Twilight, meanwhile, has tuned out long ago, occasionally giving an absentminded "uh-huh" or similar. When she realizes Rarity has finished her story and is looking at her expectantly, she manages to piece together enough memories to come up with a diplomatic response — smiling and saying, “Well, I’m just glad you were able to join us.”
- Obvious Rule Patch: As a result of Shy Sparrow's skeleton technically qualifying to be a contestant, the new rulebook only authorizes living ponies for major tournaments.
- Only Sane Man: Twilight and Rarity (mostly Twilight) are the only ones to react to the absurdity of the Serious Business around the Quiet Game.
- The Quiet Game: The titular competition, a contest around being quiet with a dose of Serious Business.
- Serious Business: The Quiet Game. It's a game about being quiet… with world championships, extensive rules and regulations, and a panel of judges including Princess Celestia herself.
- We Do Not Know Each Other: When Fluttershy walks onto the stage, Rarity shatters the silence by cheering loudly, only to trail off as the whole crowd turns to glare at her. Twilight, who is next to her, sinks into her seat in mortification. The announcers issue a reminder about the rules regarding noise levels, and Twilight turns to the pony on her other side and whispers, "I don't really know her."