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Fanfic / The Best Of All Possible Worlds

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A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic by McPoodle. Usually, crossovers either set Equestria in an alternate universe or send in a fictional character to deal with a problem in Equestria. Not this story. This time, it's a real person to have visited Equestria, the famous philosopher Voltaire.

Set a few hundred years back in Equestrian history (and ours as well), Celestia is trying not to scream in aggravation. Another Summer Sun Celebration, another year where her beloved little ponies won't get off their knees in genuflection to enjoy the sunrise with her. However, most other Summer Sun Celebrations don't have portals open up to alternate dimensions that send saddened donkey jennies out and pull dazed philosophers in. Once Voltaire gets himself composed and evaluated to be a non-threat, he decides to do what he does best: get nobles to pay him to talk.


Can be found here.

This fanfic contains examples of:

  • Acceptable Targets: In-Universe, as the true purpose of the Blueblood family is to deliberately invoke the Evil Chancellor, as their snobbishness and ineptitude makes them easy scapegoats as bad advisers when Celestia makes a bad decision.
  • Achievements in Ignorance: Voltaire causes Cognizant (or Cogs as he later becomes known) to develop a cutie mark about watch making, simply by letting the young colt examine it. This is doubly noteworthy as Cognizant's entire family had been astronomers and/or magicians.
  • Aristocrats Are Evil: Even the nicest nobleponies in this story are still believers in Fantastic Racism. Demanding huge taxes and oppressing the lower classes are just the norm here.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: Genevieve wants Blue Belle to pay for what she did to her. After the former becomes a god, Blue Belle removes her magical protection from Genevieve rewriting history. Genevieve is horrified by what becomes of her.
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  • Berserk Button: Don't bring up Celestia's immediate family. Besides her sister turning into Nightmare Moon, her father sacrificed her mother to Discord and turned her and Luna into alicorns to fight Discord.
  • Blood Knight: Captain Hardheart is all too eager to use excessive force in any situations, and tries to antagonize Voltaire at any chance he gets.
  • Bodyguarding a Badass: A single sentence from Celestia causes reality to ripple, causing Voltaire to conclude that she doesn't actually need guards.
  • Brick Joke: Captain Hardheart tries to harass Voltaire by accusing him of stealing a noblepony's dog's special toy, which was enchanted to float a few inches off the ground (for play purposes). Turns out, it was found, in another dimension.
  • Character Development: Blue Belle is starting to show this, as she feels genuine regret over causing Genevieve to exile herself to the human world and realizing that she's only antagonizing everyone she meets. Eventually, she publicly chastises her father for his mishandling of the Griffonia crisis.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Voltaire mentions this as helping him get through puberty. Humorously, Celestia literally perished the thought from Equestria with a powerful magic spell.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Voltaire, just as in real life.
  • Devil's Advocate: Voltaire becomes leader of the "Loyal Opposition" in Equestria (later named the Wig Party) whose job is to oppose Celestia's decisions to make sure she considers them properly. When she starts agreeing with the Wig Party too much, this job is passed to the opposing party.
  • Edible Ammunition: Deconstructed for laughs. Everypony in Celestia's court are shocked how rioting griffons are shrugging off the police's armaments of pies and cupcakes by not giving a flying feather about them.
  • Eloquent in My Native Tongue: Noir sounds a little slow but that's because he isn't completely fluent in Equine language yet.
  • Eureka Moment: Voltaire begins to deride Prince Blueblood for one of his proposals when he realizes something. Said proposal is meant to be overly extreme to make people go against it.
  • Exact Words: All Celestia is willing to say about her father is that he "made her what she is today". Turns out, he made her and Luna into alicorns to fight Discord.
  • Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Blue Belle is in the middle of convincing herself of Celestia's divinity and perfection when she realizes otherwise.
    Blue Belle: Her every action has always been just, and She has never been wrong. Her assumption of the title of Princess was justified, Her absorption of the Unicorn and Pegasus kingdoms and the Earth Pony republic were justified, her Judgment of Pinwin (which gave the home village of my ancestors over to the dragons in order to prevent a war) was wise, as was her decision to chase down the Meteor of 6748 by herself, subjecting herself to potentially fatal injury in order to save the whole's true! Celestia is mortal! Celestia is mortal!
  • Expy: Blue Belle is a younger version of Prince Blueblood, but she's starting to get better. Her father, Prince Blueblood (an earlier one), is a more direct example. As it turns out, this is somewhat intentional – Blueblood the First pretends to be a buffoon in order to act as a scapegoat for any bad decisions done by Celestia's administration.
    • Maximilian Peter the griffin for Maximilien Robespierre. Fitting, since the Griffonian Crisis is based off the French Revolution.
  • Facepalm:
    • Every pony present facehoofs when Voltaire's "praise" to Celestia is a compliment on her mane.
    • Celestia facehoofs after Voltaire accidentally-on-purpose gives everyone an excuse to disobey any of her orders that seem out of character.
  • Fantastic Racism: The love and tolerance of the series hasn't been established yet, so the Unicorns are considered to be on the top, with Pegasi in the middle, while Earth ponies being stuck at the bottom. Celestia is aware of this, but she's never had the means to change it.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Prince Blueblood. Turns out, it's his job.
  • God Is Evil: According to Celestia, Discord is the only actual god in Equestria and he visited unspeakable horrors upon ponies for his own amusement. Some he took a liking to and made them immortal so he could torture them forever.
  • Heroic BSoD: Celestia has a brief one when she is accused of causing the revolution in Griffonia, which is about oppressed citizens fighting back against against the Equestrian-inspired nobility. It's arguable how much of it is her fault, but she blames herself and retreats into her room for days anyway.
  • Human Resources: Royal bone meal is made from the bones of gryffons.
  • I Ate WHAT?!: The Gryffon nobility are horrified to learn that the royal bone meal isn't made from animals, but other gryphons.
  • Innocent Bigot: The nicest Unicorns are still racist against Pegasi and Earth Ponies.
  • Kids Are Cruel: Blue Belle, who's only starting puberty, has this trope in spades. At first.
  • Literary Agent Hypothesis: As the story progresses, 'Translator's Notes' are added at various intervals (albeit with IC and OOC tags). When the time shift begins to hit the translator, he starts going absolutely insane.
  • Manipulative Bastard:
    • President Maupertuis gets Voltaire thrown in an asylum and almost does the same to Algarotti by convincing King Friedrich that they're manipulating him.
    • Algarotti attempts to manipulate Genevieve when he discovers the magic pencil has more power in her hands than in a humans. He succeeds to an extent when she makes herself Queen of Prussia to save their lives, convincing the still confused jenny that the Queen of Prussia is the real Genevieve and the innocent child was a nightmare.
  • Meaningful Echo: Occurs twice with the same line. Voltaire concludes his story about Princess Fisby saying that her subjects, having learned she's not truly divine, changed their greetings to her to "ribbit" which means thank you. After Celestia's Heroic BSoD, she's greeted by dozens of ceramic frogs singing "ribbit".
    • When he leaves Equestira, Voltaire, having removed his cap and lost most of his Equine vocabulary, simply tells Celestia "ribbit".
  • Muggle Born of Mages: Cognizant is an Earth Pony with Unicorn parents.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Celestia is horrified when a nightmare of Luna nearly drowning causes her to badly beat a young filly who'd been caught in the riverbed.
  • No-Sell: The Gryphon peasants basically ignore conventional weaponry. Justified given that conventional weaponry amounts to throwing cakes and pies at your enemies.
  • Painting the Frost on Windows: Deconstructed. Unlike canon, ponies manually changing the weather and seasons with the Princesses moving the sun and moon isn't due to Equestria being a magical wonderland. Instead, Discord caused such havoc that none of those things can happen without pony intervention. If not for Celestia moving the sun around the planet, it would hurl off into deep space and they'd all freeze.
  • Perception Filter: An entire family of Earth Ponies have (among other abilities) the ability to render themselves completely uninteresting and Beneath Notice. However, it only works if there's at least six people present.
  • Punny Name: Genevieve is a young female donkey, aka a jenny.
  • Puppet King: When Genevieve makes herself God-Emperor of Earth and Equestria, Algarotti continues to influence her and has caused her to have weaknesses he can eventually exploit if he needs to kill her.
  • Reality Warper: Genevieve when using the magic pencil can make anything she draws reality. She learns to speak to humans by connecting a speech bubble to a drawing of herself, conjures a glass of water by drawing it, and makes herself Queen of Prussia by crossing out a crown on the king's head and drawing it on her own. Interestingly, even people who are aware something changed will become convinced it was always that way. Algarotti knows that the glass of ice water wasn't there before but his mind comes up with explanations for why it's there and still cold.
  • The Revolution Will Not Be Civilized: Shortly after the story begins, a revolution begins in Griffonia against the Equestrian-backed noblegriffons. They've already overthrown their government five times by the time Celestia gets to address the issue.
  • Ripple Effect-Proof Memory: Algarotti remembers how things were before Genevieve made herself Queen of Prussia and theorizes it's because the paper she drew on was touching him at the time.
  • Silent Scapegoat: Prince Blueblood's job is to be the scapegoat for any serious problems with Celestia's rule. It's why he comes across as such an extremist.
  • Stepford Smiler: For all she acts like a loving and doting parent, Celestia is filled with self-hatred over her past decisions.
  • Stop Worshipping Me: Even more so in than in the main series. Ponies will invariably genuflect whenever Celestia uses serious magic, and see her as perfect and infallible. Part of the reason why Celestia likes Voltaire so much is that he's taken steps to end this image of her.
  • Translator Microbes: Equestria has caps designed to translate words from one language to their own but require a pony to be linked to it to translate the words. Words that aren't known yet have to be added in.
  • Unfortunate Name: Mayor Butterbold Wheatstraw's maiden name was Fluffykins.
  • Unperson:
    • Nightmare Moon, and the mare she once was, got this treatment.
    • An entire family was given this treatment after it was revealed the Blueblood's bred them to be the perfect spies. No one, including Celestia (who performed psychic surgery on herself) knows who they are anymore or where they went.
  • Willfully Weak: In a manner of speaking. Noir refuses to use a cap made for Diamond Dogs to translate his words because he's a lawyer, words are his weapons and if he uses the cap, it will choose his words and his voice. He'd rather just learn Equine the old fashioned way, not minding if he sounds dumb in the meantime.
  • You No Take Candle: The Diamond Dog ambassador Noir is a mild version. Voltaire suffers from this as well when not using the magic cap.
  • You Called Me "X"; It Must Be Serious: Voltaire only refers to someone by their title when things are serious, most commonly to subtly call them out for something they just did. Such as Cog yelling at Lifter for daring to think a peasant like him could improve his work.

Example of: