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The Ariana Black Series was a series of seven fanfics, written by "Ariana Black." (The main series itself had seven stories, but the author also wrote several side-stories about Ariana's mother, and one about Ariana's rival, Maria. Technically they don't count as part of the actual series.)

Over the course of seven fics, Ariana comes to Hogwarts, befriends all the characters that the author likes, discovers she is an "Empath," which therefore makes her VERY SPESHUL AND POWERFULZ, Voldemort (whose main job is to hatch a repetitive plot once a year) decides she's more important than Harry and focuses on alternatively killing her or stealing her powers, and...that's really all there is. Except the author also decided to throw in Wangst out the wazoo, sappy scenes in which the main cast talks about how they'll be together forever and ever (for Ariana's sake), love melodrama...anything to pad the story out to seven fics. Characters are nothing more than OOC dopplegangers, the taming of the Snape occurs... Were you surprised?

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All the stories have been taken down because the author was tired of people telling her Ariana was a Mary Sue, but there is an on-going spork of all the fics starting here, the sporkers being fortunate enough to still have copies of the original fanfic.


Tropes:

  • All Men Are Perverts: All the teenaged ones are, anyway, with Harry, Ron and Neville frequently making lecherous comments about their female friends and generally have sex on the brain. Draco tries to rape Ariana several times over the series.
  • All Take and No Give: This is generally Ariana's relationship with her friends and family after she's adopted by Sirius - every instalment has a scene of Ariana opening Christmas presents given to her, but we never hear of her buying presents for her loved ones.
  • Alpha Bitch: Maria fits all the hallmarks of this, complete with being from a rich family, picking on the main heroine, and having her own Girl Posse. Ariana, in a SHOCKING turn of events, fits many of these tropes too. She whines and bitches all through the seven terrible fics, complete with misuse of powers and regular bullying with no repercussion, and gets blatant favouritism and her own posse of year one OCs after Harry and the gang leave.
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  • Artistic License – Biology: During the sixth year, the sporkers point out that when the group are escaping Azkaban and Ariana somehow manages to get tangled up in seaweed, the water being repeatedly mentioned as ice-cold means that there shouldn't be anything long and clingy growing in the sea for her to get caught in.
  • Attempted Rape: Draco tries to rape Ariana on several occasions. Hilariously, in the fourth year, when he gets Ariana alone, he starts feeling her up, but only touches her sides and back, and starts chasing her around a wooden table. The sporkers note it's almost like the author was too scared to write an actual rape attempt and just settled for Draco creepily whispering in her ear and getting up in her space.
  • Author Appeal: The author seems to like writing about Ariana gratuitously receiving expensive jewelry for no apparent reason.
    • She also likes writing Ariana and the others having pillow fights, snowball fights, food fights, mudfights and generally acting like hyperactive twelve-year-olds.
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  • Big Brother Instinct: Harry, taken up to Edwardian levels of frightening in his reactions.
  • Blessed with Suck: While Ariana's Empath powers are genuinely useful, she rarely gets enough use out of them (see Useless Useful Spell below) to justify the horrible side-effects:
    • Being near mood-altering spells or potions send her into potentially lethal fits.
    • She can't help but feel the emotions around her. If the emotions are strong enough, they start to override her own, leading to a point where she effectively roofies herself when her friend confesses his love for her.
    • Oh, yeah, and Voldemort wants kidnap to use her blood for an immortality potion, or so he can erase her will and use her as a political puppet, or various other excuses.
  • Body Horror: At one point, Neville's nose evidently ends up smeared across his face.
  • Bonding Over Missing Parents: How Neville and Ariana first hook up.
  • Bound and Gagged:This happens to Arianna and friends just about every fic.
  • Bus Crash: After Sirius adopts Ariana, Mita is pretty much completely dropped from the story, until she's brought up again in the fourth year by sending Ariana a letter, then it's revealed later that Voldemort murdered her so Ariana can angst and faint into Neville's arms.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: Ariana gets drunk on Butterbeer, which means she has about the same tolerance as a house-elf.
  • Changeling Fantasy: An unusual case. After her mother's death, Ariana was raised by a witch named Mita. Ariana immediately dumps her to live with Sirius once he's pardoned, and even comments that it wasn't until she started living with Sirius and Harry that she had a real family.
  • Chickification: Canonically, Hermione and Ginny are competent witches. In the fic, they're barely able to do anything useful and are mostly just there to be Ariana's friends.
  • CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: See Disney Death below.
  • Curtains Match the Window: Ariana and Patty. The former has black hair and eyes, while the latter has brown hair and eyes.
  • Damsel in Distress: For as much as she claims her powers are incredibly strong, Ariana falls into this role a lot.
  • Demonic Possession: A rather short-lived example. See Our Demons Are Different.
  • Dirty Old Man: Professor Flitwick, apparently. See Under the Mistletoe.
  • Disney Death: Ariana drowns and is dead for at least five or seven minutes. No spells attempted work in reviving her, but CPR does. The sporkers have pointed out in their MST that this is just not possible, as if no spell could have revived her, then CPR wouldn't have a chance, and if she was dead for at least seven minutes then she's staying that way. And on the off-chance that she was revived, then she would have been brain-dead.
  • Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Hermione especially, but also Ginny, seem to be in the habit of hitting their Love Interests in the back of the head whenever they annoy them. Played for Laughs.
  • Driven to Suicide: Ariana, multiple times.
  • The Empath: Ariana is an Empath, which means she can do pretty much whatever the story calls for.
  • Expy/Distaff Counterpart: Maria, Kitty, and Patty are basically Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle with boobs and cattier personalities.
  • Faux Action Girl: Ariana constantly brags about how strong her Empath powers are, yet as soon as she gets into any real danger she starts sobbing and whining about how she's going to die and faints into someone (usually Neville's) arms.
    • Similarly, after escaping Azkaban, Ginny and Hermione decide to take a nap and Neville and Ron later explain to Hagrid that Harry and Snape did not return to Hogwarts with them because they stayed behind "to protect the girls", because apparently only boys can fight.
  • Flanderization: While Maria once had some semblance of personality and at least seemed to actually care about her friends, the sporkers point out that in later stories she is completely driven by her hatred of Ariana and now doesn't seem to care about Patty and Kitty at all.
  • Flat Character: Patty and Kitty have no personality outside of "Maria's lackeys."
  • Freudian Excuse: The seventh story gave Maria one—apparently she hates Ariana because Ariana has an adopted family who loves her, while Maria's rich parents don't give her the time of day. Of course, we never get any evidence of this elsewhere, it's just stated out of the blue and never brought up again.
  • Friend to All Living Things: Ariana reaches Disney Princess levels with this one.
  • Girl Posse: Patty and Kitty are this for Maria.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Tabitha, Ariana's mother, never got over the fact that Sirius was born with magic and she wasn't and they became estranged after Sirius went to Hogwarts.
  • Healing Hands: One of Ariana's numerous powers.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Kitty gradually starts to fall for Ariana's "charm."
  • Hot for Teacher/Hot for Student: After graduating, Neville becomes the new Herbology professor. He and Ariana still date.
  • Hypocrite: During the sixth year, Ariana's groupie friends ask Ariana why Maria hates her so much. Ariana then goes on to brazenly claim that Maria hates Ariana because Ariana does everything better than her and is jealous, but Ariana then says she never retaliated or let Maria get to her (except for the time she kissed Harry on a dare). This is blatantly not true, as Ariana responds to Maria's taunts with tantrums, crying to her friends, at one point using it to wriggle out of a serious punishment from Professor McGonagall and Ariana is always the one who abuses her "Empath powers" to attack Maria with no consequences for Ariana - whereas Maria and her friends hitting her with a spell got them letters sent home, four months detention and banned from going to Hogsmeade for the rest of the year. Ariana also complains that Maria constantly insults her friends and plays pranks on her, yet Ariana has done exactly the same thing which she dismisses as "getting mad sometimes."
    • Ariana also tells Maria to watch her language around the first years, then calls her a bitch no more than a few sentences later.
  • Identical-Looking Asians: For a Potions lesson, Ariana partners with Michael Okuda, "a handsome looking Asian boy who reminded Ariana of Cho Chang." She never explains why he reminds her of Cho Chang, though, so presumably it's just because she's also attractive and Asian. (Incidentally, Cho is four years older than Ariana and Harry doesn't seem to pursue her romantically in this universe, so how does Ariana even know who she is?)
  • Idiot Ball: Several of the canon characters hold it at times, but nobody holds it as tightly as Ariana does, whenever the 'plot' with Voldemort has to happen.
    • Especially when Ariana receives a (fake) letter from Sirius, telling her to meet him in Hogsmeade near an alley, alone—she believes it and does so. And then when Sirius himself never shows, Ariana wonders what's taking so long, right before getting kidnapped. This is done after Voldemort has made several successful attempts to abduct her in the past, including last year, when Draco kidnapped both her and Harry the moment they left the company of their friends.
    • In the fourth year, when meeting with her friends in Hogsmeade, Ariana randomly and inexplicably decides she wants to stay behind with Harry and go visit the Shrieking Shack to see where Remus used to go when he was a student. Harry and Ariana then promptly get kidnapped by Death Eaters, who somehow knew they were going to go there, and because Ariana told everyone she'd come back later with Harry, they're trapped there until the next day when people finally realise she never came back from Hogsmeade. Naturally Ariana is never punished for her stupid behaviour.
  • Informed Ability: Apparently, Maria is a very skilled flyer and Quidditch player. But we never see her flying or playing Quidditch before the fact.
    • Also, Ariana is supposedly the top in all her classes (she cites it as a reason for Maria to hate her), but we rarely see her doing any sort of schoolwork and have no indication of her being smart.
      • To be fair, in the first story it's a plot point that she can answer any ridiculously hard question Snape throws at her—though this just makes her look like a Mary Sue rather than "smart."
  • Insistent Terminology: Ariana keeps trying to make Snape call her "Ariana", but Snape always refers to her as "Miss Black"...until late in the sixth year, unfortunately, when he finally caves.
  • It's All About Me: The universe revolves around Ariana.
    • Probably the best (and most infuriating) example is in the first story. She's angry at Sirius, her uncle, and hates him for supposedly killing Harry's parents not because he may have murdered innocent people, but because she's being bullied for being the niece of a criminal.
    • And in another example, Ariana has the absolute gall to tell Neville she's jealous that he still has parents, while she never got to know hers. That's right, Neville, whose parents were tortured into insanity by Death Eaters to the point that they can't - and never will - recognise their own son is somehow not as bad as Ariana's parents dying when she was too little to remember them.
    • Tabitha, Ariana's mother, has shades of this as well in the one-shot spin-off, Tabby Cat. The entire plot is of her visiting Sirius at Azakaban and ranting at him mostly about how he ruined her life by committing murder, never mind any of the victims or the friends he was accused of killing/betraying.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Some of the things Maria says actually make a lot more sense than what Ariana does—for instance, that it's wrong for Ariana to date her professor. She also accurately points out that Ariana can't do anything without abusing her "Empath" powers and she needs her friends to do much of her fighting for her, true on all counts.
    • In the sixth year she also points out Ariana's new friends are nothing but groupies and how she's relying on first years to stand up for her.
    • Ron gets a moment when Sirius buys Ariana a flying motorbike and Ginny hints that Ron should buy her one too. Ron retorts that he isn't obligated to spend his money giving Ginny whatever she wants just because he's her brother, but the text treats Ron like he's being a selfish jerk.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Filch, evidently.
  • Karma Houdini: Maria and her friends try to kill Ariana at breakfast one morning, lock her in a closet on the last day of school and plan to leave her there all summer, et cetera. All they get away with is a slap on the wrist. Not that some of us are complaining...
    • Draco attempts to rape Ariana twice early on. Dumbledore only threatens to expel him. Yes, you read that right—Draco only gets the threat of expulsion for attempting to rape an eleven-year-old.
  • Loophole Abuse: In one of the stories, Voldemort curses Ariana so she no longer has her Empath powers, saying that "the curse will be on you til the day you die." Guess what.
  • Magnetic Hero: Everybody loves Ariana, including Filch, Ms. Norris, Neville's grandmother and Snape. Anyone who doesn't is automatically evil or a bitch.
  • The Maiden Name Debate: Since she's Ariana Black, her mom apparently decided to keep her last name (or maybe change it back when her husband left her). Which is kind of odd, given how terrified both originally are about people realizing they're related to Sirius.
  • Make-Out Kids: Ariana and Neville - the sporkers even point out they never do anything else as a couple besides kiss each other constantly and reaffirm how much they love each other. The other couples do this too, but nobody is as bad as those two.
  • May–December Romance: Ariana and Neville fall in love when she's eleven and he's fifteen. They continue to date throughout the entire fic.
  • Mentor Occupational Hazard: Mita comes back into the story pretty much to succumb to this.
  • Mind Rape: Another one of Ariana's "Empath powers" is to go through other people's memories, which she does with Snape in the fourth year without even asking him permission.
  • Mood Whiplash: The story tends to swing between chapters of pointless "hee-hee, characters having fun!" antics to other chapters that are full of Wangst. Also, the sporkers note that any bad thing that happened seems to be forgotten immediately, with characters cracking jokes right after they escape from mortal peril.
  • Moral Dissonance: Whatever Ariana does is good, right, and heroic. Anything and everything Maria does is bad and sign of her bitchiness...yes, even leaving class as she was told to, instead of standing around and worrying over Ariana.
    • Taken Up to Eleven in a Quidditch game where Maria tricks a bludger into hitting a chaser on the opposing team (who happens to be Ariana's friend). Instead of seeing this as a perfectly legal and rather clever move, Ariana claims this is the lowest thing Maria has ever done.
  • MST: The only format the fic exists in anymore.
  • Muggle Born of Mages: Ariana's mother, Tabitha.
  • Muggles Do It Better: See Disney Death above.
  • My Sensors Indicate You Want to Tap That: After a somewhat-lewd comment from Harry, Ariana threatens to tell the others what emotion she was sensing from him.
  • Never My Fault: Anything bad or stupid Ariana does is never her fault. According to her (and usually the other characters as well), it was someone else's fault for goading her, or because of her Empath powers. A great example occurs in the seventh story, when Ariana makes out with another boy behind Neville's back—twice, and both times she claims she didn't fight back because her Empath powers reacted to his love. She does say that it sounds more like she's making excuses, but then she never really tells herself it wasn't her powers either.
  • Never Trust a Title: "Ariana and the Mystery of the Muggle Murders" has no mystery—the first time the murders are mentioned the narration (correctly) tells us Voldemort is doing them to send a message to Snape. For that matter, the murders really don't really have much to do with the plot; the characters never try to stop the murders, they just let them know that Voldemort is ticked off.
  • New Powers as the Plot Demands: Ariana suddenly develops her "Empath" abilities in the third year after absolutely no warning. The Locutus Amulet is introduced in the fourth year after Mita is killed, which she gives Ariana in her will, even though you'd think she'd have given it to Ariana long before, as it belonged to Ariana's mother and could have come in very useful.
  • Nobody Calls Me "Chicken"!: Maria dares Ariana, who's already dating Neville, to French kiss the next person to walk into their dormitory. It's Harry. She kisses him and there is much Wangst about how Maria "forced" her to cheat on Neville.
  • Not Blood Siblings: Harry and Ariana said they were Like Brother and Sister even before Sirius adopted them, but that didn't stop Ariana from kissing him on a dare.
  • Once per Episode: Almost every year involves Voldemort kidnapping Ariana.
    • Similarly, once she's introduced, Maria makes an appearance during every single train ride.
  • Our Demons Are Different: Foreign from Harry Potter canon, in this fic they're Living Shadows created by a Dark wizard. They possess people, but instead of controlling them they drain their energy and memories until the victim dies, then turn information over to their masters.
  • Out of Focus: After the second story Harry and Ariana move in with Sirius, and their friends start spending their summers there/moving in themselves. This means that a lot of characters, like most of the Weasleys, pretty much disappear.
  • Parental Abandonment: Ariana's father ran out on the family before she was born, and her mother died of an unnamed disease shortly after Ariana's birth.
  • Protagonist Centred Morality: Oh dear god. Ariana is allowed to do whatever she wants in the story and she is barely ever punished - she attacks Maria and Draco several times with her "Empath powers", but when Maria and her friends hit Ariana with a Cheering Charm, they get four months detention, letters home and banned from Hogsmeade for the rest of the year, just as an example.
    • Also, the "Mystery of the Muggle Murders" is no mystery - Voldemort is killing Muggles to get at Snape, which is Ariana's cue to act all concerned. Nobody seems to care innocent Muggles are dying.
  • Rape as Drama: Draco makes multiple attempts to rape Ariana.
  • Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: We never go a single story without being reminded Ariana has 'raven black' hair.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Snape gave an epic one to Ariana's mother in their backstory, calling her out on acting like because she had a crush on him, therefore she was somehow Entitled to Have You and that he couldn't stand her or Sirius, who are thoughtless, immature brats.
  • Remember the New Guy?: In Ariana's second year, we meet Maria and her cronies. Their antagonism towards Ariana is treated as though it was already established, despite not being present in the earlier fanfic.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: The cause of a "Slug Malfoy" in part 1, "Hell Malfoy" in part 2, and Dumbledore evidently not being Headmaster yet. And that's just the start.
  • The Rival: Maria is set up as this to Ariana.
  • Satellite Character: Harry and his friends, of all people, are turned into this for Ariana. Whether she's around or not, all they ever do is fuss over her.
    • Maria, who has absolutely no purpose in the story except to be Ariana's own personal rival, except hilariously Maria tends to bring up totally valid criticisms of Ariana that the author is oblivious to.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Poor Neville is hit with being a Satellite Character and Ariana's designated boyfriend.
  • Shout-Out: To Disney's The Little Mermaid, as Ron and Hermione dance to "Part of Your World" at their wedding.
    • One of the members on the Quiddich team is named Susie Derkins.
    • There's a random Hufflepuff named Michael Okuda in Ariana's year.
  • Sickeningly Sweethearts: Ariana and Neville.
  • Soap Opera Disease: Ariana's mother dies in the backstory of a mysterious disease that isn't explained in any way.
  • Spoiled Brat: Ariana, once she's been adopted by Sirius, who lets her do whatever she wants, including allowing her boyfriend to move in with them when Ariana is only fourteen and even thanking Snape for bringing her home safely because Ariana demands it. This exchange sums it up:
    Ariana: Harry, pass the salt.
    Harry: [holding it out of reach] And what do you say?
    Ariana: I say give it to me now or prepare to die a painful death.
  • Super Drowning Skills: While swimming to escape one of Voldemort's strongholds, Ariana manages to get tangled up in completely mundane seaweed and drowns.
  • The Aurors Who Don't Do Anything: They are mentioned, but never do anything helpful. The one time they are supposed to appear on-screen, Ariana conveniently falls into Voldemort's trap and the rest of the time is spent with her, until she is rescued by the canon characters and the Aurors are never mentioned again.
  • Title Drop: Many chapter titles come from lines of dialogue in said chapter...and 99 percent of the time, the chapter title doesn't actually fit the chapter's content.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Dementors are apparently capable of scaring away Patroni in this fanfic.
  • Took a Level in Dumbass: Nobody in this story retains their canon intelligence, but Harry, Sirius, Hermione and Voldemort get hit with it the worst. Sirius acts like an eight-year-old for much of the series despite the fact he spent twelve years in Azkaban, Hermione doesn't even consider her career once she leaves Hogwarts until Ariana tells her she should write a new Potions textbook and Voldemort is laughably incompetent - his captives always escape from his "traps" after he pointlessly tortures them for a bit.
  • Under the Mistletoe: During the holidays Professor Flitwick, for some reason, hangs mistletoe in the entrance to the Great Hall and won't let anyone enter until they "follow tradition." At one point this forces Ariana to kiss Ron. Another time it forces Ginny to kiss Ron.
  • Unrequited Love Lasts Forever: Ariana's mother, Tabitha, had a thing for Snape when she was about nine and he was about ten. He reacts about the way any snotty kid might to a girl that he finds supremely annoying. Apparently she wasn't able to move on from this, because ten years later (after she had already married and divorced somebody else) she tells Remus that she's still in love with Snape. Note that he moved in with the Malfoys right after telling her off, so it's questionable if she's even seen him in the ensuing years.
  • Useless Useful Spell: A rare non-video game example. Ariana's ability to sense emotions doesn't seem to help any time it's particularly needed. She can sense her friends sneaking up on her (some of the time), but always misses when somebody with hostile intentions is preparing to ambush her. She can sense how much Neville loves her, but was completely oblivious to Reginald's feelings until he confessed.
    • In the fourth story we find out that for Ariana's protection, her former guardian Mita had an amulet that let her watch over her and know where she was. Ariana had been kidnapped by Voldemort and almost been raped by Malfoy twice each, and yet this had never come up before.
  • Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: Hilarity Ensues if you take everything written at face value, as the above sporkers regularly point out.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Super?: In the fifth story the Death Eaters keep killing random Muggles in Snape's area to send him a message. Granted Snape is the person Ariana knows and cares about, but all the attention seems to be on worrying about him with very little concern for the poor, nameless people who are actually dying.
  • Yes-Man: Marcus, Anaca and Edmund, some random first years Ariana befriends after Ginny leaves Hogwarts and they hang on her every word and never disagree with her.
  • You Must Be Cold: In the fourth story, Harry offers Ariana his sweater after Malfoy's Attempted Rape tears her blouse. Which is sort of a Plot Hole; the author apparently forgot that earlier she had been wearing a robe over her clothes, so she could have easily just put that back on.
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