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Fanfic / Silly but Killy

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Silly but Killy is an incomplete Fusion Fic between Warhammer 40,000 and Mass Effect written by Palladius on FanFiction.Net.

The idea behind this crossover is simple: What if there were no humans in Mass Effect? What if there were Orks instead? The Council would have a lot less sleep, for one thing.

The story is basically a Denser and Wackier retelling of the first Mass Effect game with Orks replacing the human characters.

Sadly, this story hasn't been updated since 2016, so it's probably a Dead Fic.

Silly but Killy contains examples of:

  • Adaptational Backstory Change: In canon, the Orks were created by the Old Ones while Gork and Mork are products of the combined psychic gestalt of the Ork species. Here, the Orks are former humans who were subjected to a Forced Transformation by Gork and Mork.
  • Adaptational Job Change:
    • In the games, Shepard started out as an N7 marine. Here, Sheppurt is instead an Ork Kommando.
    • In canon, Hackett was the admiral in charge of the Systems Alliance Navy's Fifth Fleet. In this fic, he's a Warboss leading his own Ork Empire.
  • Adaptational Name Change:
    • The Ork versions of the human characters from Mass Effect all have their names altered to sound more Orky. (Examples: Shepard to Sheppurt, Joker to Jokka, Kaiden to Kadun, etc.)
    • The colonies Eden Prime and Elysium are renamed Edun Da Furst Wun and Eleezium.
    • Played for Laughs with the Illusive Man, who is instead goes by the alias of Tim.
    • Sovereign/Nazara is changed to Naz'zarrah the Sovereign.
  • Adaptational Nice Guy: Downplayed with the Ork race. They're still crude brutes whose entire society is built on violence, but seem downright reasonable when compared to their canon counterparts. The Orks in this story are capable of co-existing alongside non-Orks and can actually be negotiated with. In the backstory, a team of asari diplomats was able to successfully halt the Ork War by brokering peace with them. Admittedly, the Warboss in charge only agreed to this because he realized that he could squeeze even more loot out of the turians by forcing them to pay yearly "reparations", but this is still a significant improvement over the canon Orks, who would have simply slaughtered the diplomats and continued their Waaagh! until every Citadel race was exterminated.
    • It should be noted that while there have been cases in canon where the Orks have worked as mercenaries for or formed an Enemy Mine with non-Ork factions like the Imperium, such alliances were rare, on a small scale, and always short-lived. That isn't the case here, where the Orks have managed to live in relative peace (keyword being "relative" since these are still Orks we're talking about) with most of the Citadel races for over two decades.
  • Adaptational Species Change: All the human characters from the Mass Effect are still present in the story as Orkified versions of themselves.
  • Adapted Out: Karin Chakwas, the Normandy's chief medical officer from canon, is completely absent in the story and replaced with an unnamed Ork that everyone calls "Dok".
  • Artificial Hybrid: During the fight against the Thorian, Tali's exosuit is damaged and Sheppurt rushes her to the Normandy's dok to treat her for infection. While the dok injects her with Ork combat stimulants and Limm Gloo (the Ork medi-gel) to help her body fight off the infection, Tali gets exposed to Ork fungi that is able to enter and spread throughout her body due to the quarian's weak immune system. This combination results in Tali being accidentally transformed into the first Ork-Quarian hybrid.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: Per canon, nearly everything about the Orks is so over-the-top and hilariously crazy that it's easy to forget why there were the most successful species in the 40k universe. During the Ork War, it only took them a little over two months to bring the Turian Hierarchy to its knees and successfully invade the Citadel. It's implied that this is the reason that the Citadel Council has worked so hard to appease the Orks and puts up with their destructive antics.
  • Booze Flamethrower: A glossary segment mentions that the Orks literally use squig beer as fuel for their flamethrowers. The reason this works so well is because the stuff that the Orks use to make their beer also happens to be the chemical propellant for their shootas. The only real difference between the two is that the beverage is slightly more diluted than the flamethrower fuel.
  • Colony Drop: During the Ork War, the Orks bombarded Edessan and Bostra with large asteroids that they called Rok Bomms, leaving both worlds unfit for turian life.
  • Composite Character: Tim is revealed to be a composite of the Illusive Man and Ghazghkull Mag-Uruk Thraka.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: The Ork War, basically this fic's version of the First Contact War, was for the turians what a more successful Damocles Gulf Crusade would have been like for the T'au. To make a long story short, the turians get steamrolled by an Ork Waaagh! that leaves at least five major worlds devastated (two of which are rendered uninhabitable) with a total casualty count of nearly 18 billion. The only battle where the turians didn't get outright curb-stomped was on the fortress world Nimines, where they held out for two months and still lost half a billion soldiers. Had the asari not stepped in, Palavan itself would have the next planet on the chopping block.
  • Fantastic Ghetto: During the Ork War, the Orks launched an invasion on the Citadel itself and overran the Zakera Ward. After the war ended, the Orks refused to move and the Citadel Council (likely realizing that trying to force them to leave was more trouble than it was worth) allowed them to claim the entire ward as Ork territory. Aside from Orks, the only other people that really hang around the ward are either Krogans or individuals considered violently insane by their own races.
  • Fusion Fic:
    • Humanity and the Systems Alliance are replaced by the Orks and the Ork Empire.
    • Cerberus is reimagined as a rogue Ork warband called Da Free 'Eaded Squig.
    • The Necrons in this fic were geth platforms upgraded by Sovereign.
    • Also, the Reapers in this fic are revealed to be C'Tan.
  • Gender Flip: In canon, Ashley was a human woman. Since the Orks are all male, this carries over to her Ork counterpart, who is named Ash.
  • In-Series Nickname: The Orks have a different nickname for each of the alien races from Mass Effect. Turians are "spikies", salarians are "squishies", asari are "bounsies", batarians are "squints", krogans are "krog-boys", quarians are "bukkits", elcors are "ploddas", volus are "rollas", and drell are "dry".
    • The Orks seem to have a particular hatred for hanar since the nicknames they have for them involve a lot of Ork curse words like "jelly-zogga", "fing I wants ta smash a lot", "zoggin' floata-git", "fing dat shud be burnt", and "dam zoggin' squidbrain piss'ole zogga jelly-git".
  • Shout-Out:
  • Threat Backfire: During Sheppurt's first meeting with Sovereign, the Reaper delivers an ominous warning about how the entire galaxy will be drowned in a Hopeless War. Since this is an Ork that he's saying this to, all this actually does is threaten Sheppurt with a good time.
    Sheppurt: Oo, ya do kno 'ow ta sweet tork an Ork like me.
  • Was Once a Man: If the "Gorkamorka Creation Myth" is to be believed, the Orks in this fic used to be the ME humans until Gork and Mork came by and turned all of them into greenskins.
  • Wham Line: Chapter 14 has this gem when it briefly shows the perspective of a geth on Virmire.
    glory to the c'tan