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Fanfic / Rise of the Galeforces

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Adam: I looked at Sarah, aka Stratogale. Stratogale... Gale-force winds... Galeforces. "Would Galeforces sound good?" I asked.
Kate: "Yeah, it does sound good," I said. "It does bring Stratogale to mind."
Sarah: I blushed, naturally. An entire team named after me? They shouldn't have. "Aww, thanks guys," I said. "But even if the team is named after me, I want this to be about all of us. And if Mr. Incredible is The Incredibles' leader, Splashdown should be The Galeforces' leader."
Adam, Kate, and Sarah Squall, naming the new Super Family Team in town.
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Violet and Dash Parr, sibling Supers in training, receive a call from Aperture Science and Technology about an important project downtown. What they find is a discovery that will change their lives forever — a cloning facility housing the late Supers from the Golden Era. Narrowly escaping from the lab with their lives, they meet one of the clones, Sarah Squall a.k.a. Stratogale, and help her reunite with the rest of her family.

And so starts an adventure of a lifetime. Together, the Parrs and the Squalls, as mutual allies, go through all kinds of good-time heroic action involving ticklish situations, no-holds-barred ass-kicking, and new bonds of friendship.

The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces is a fanfiction collab by Troper Geosternbergia, known on deviantArt as Shadow-Aspect, and fellow deviantArt compatriot georgemiser. It all started with a comment on one of Shadow-Aspect's deviations, but what blossomed was a fanfiction that explores the backstories and histories of a majority of the late Supers mentioned during the Incredibles movie far better than anything cranked out by the NSA. Although it was a relatively local fanfic, it speculates about what the past Supers' lives may have been like, and it certainly was more comprehensive than all of the NSA files on the bonus DVD put together.

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Unfortunately, the fanfic was plagued by massive characterization issues, mostly stemming from a character who was stated to be Sarah's brother, as well as a ton of confusing crossover elements. Geosternbergia's then-inflated ego did not help matters as said character became increasingly prominent; this eventually came to a head near the end of the fic, when the already tenuous plot finally imploded upon itself, with disastrous and rather gruesome results. Despite promoting the strengths of the fic over the years, Geo eventually tired of it after realizing how flawed it was. He eventually took the time to spork/critique the fic himself upon joining the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, during which one of his agents had a bit of an identity crisis when encountering the fic's badly written characters.

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Archived online here.The full story is available for reading here. For the PPC mission critiquing this fic, go here.


This fanfic provides examples of:

  • Break the Cutie: Sarah early on in Episode 4, when she is separated from her family and is forced to watch the plot spiraling off a cliff due to Ludlow's "intervention." Ludlow also tries to invoke the trope on Violet by turning her into a Tyrannosaurus rex, and predictably he fails miserably.
    • Played straighter with the baby T. rexes, albeit with potentially deadly consequences. When the protagonists meet them, they have been separated from their parents and each other, and it's heavily implied that Ludlow flat-out abused them before they were rescued. Then he shoots their father in the face, right in front of them, when he comes to their defense. Deconstructed in that this fills the babies with so much pent-up rage and hatred for Ludlow that the moment they're finally freed, they promptly turn on him and tear him to pieces.
  • Funny Aneurysm: In-universe example. In Chapter 7, Sarah and Adam go into a detailed discussion about deinonychosaur portrayal, complete with a monologue from Adam taken almost word-for-word from Alan Grant's monologue about raptors near the beginning of the first JP movie. This conversation comes back to haunt Sarah in Chapter 8, when they meet Velociripper for the first time.
  • Gone Horribly Right: The plan to clone the Supers, if you go by just the cloning part. If you think of it as "cloning Supers to use as weapons for Aperture's personal army," it's Gone Horribly Wrong.
  • Gorn: Ludlow is brutally ripped apart and Eaten Alive, onscreen, by the baby T.rexes in retaliation for the Eye Scream incident above, with blood and entrails spilling in all directions.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • Chapter 8: Adam gets this when he realizes that his old enemy has returned. "Hello, brother."
    • Bob, David, and Dash gets one in Chapter 13 when Dynacide shows up.
      Bob: My God... WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!
    • At the start of Chapter 17, Violet has a nightmare in which she's in the scene in the first Jurassic Park movie when the Tyrannosaurus rex breaks out of its pen; she only has a moment to scream in terror when she sees the blood-red eyes staring straight at her. She gets another Oh, Crap! moment later in the same chapter when a real T. rex shows up.
    • There's a Mass "Oh, Crap!" moment in Chapter 19 and Chapter 24, both times after the heroes are reunited... just in time for the Spinosaurus to show up.
    • Another T-rex elicits this reaction from Violet, Helen, and Dash in Chapter 20, when they realize that it's smack in the middle of their campsite. From the same chapter, Vi gets a minor one when she discovers that Velociripper has found his way back to Isla Nublar.
    • Chapter 21: "It's a bird cage."
    • Chapter 22: "Carnotaurus! EVERYONE, RUN FOR THE HILLS!" And then the rest of the family get this when Violet is captured.
    • Chapter 23: Violet again gets this right before she gets injected with dinosaur serum... and mutated into a T. rex.
    • Chapter 28: Sarah and Vi upon meeting the baby Dilophosaurus, in a Shout Out to Jurassic Park. Then again after Vi's fingers are melted to the bone by its acidic spit.
    • Chapter 29, when the dinosaur army bursts out of the HMS BP's cargo hold:
      David: "Oh FUCK! EVERYONE OFF THE BOAT!!!"
    • Chapter 30: Tony and Kari get this when the Spinosaurus attacks the house. From the same chapter, there's also a Mass "Oh, Crap!" from the adult Supers as Kate goes berserk.
    • Chapter 31: A bunch of mooks get this after messing with the wrong character, resulting in a Bring My Brown Pants moment. Helen puts it this way:
      But then I noticed that the gang leader wasn't looking at me. His gaze was, very, very slowly, turning upwards. That was when we heard a snort behind us. I noticed that I'd been backed into the rock in the middle of the clearing.
      It was not a rock.
    • Also from Chapter 31: Kari, when Velociripper breaks into her house. Then Terrordactyl when a bunch of Kronosaurus turn up in the middle of the harbor fight. Then Splashdown upon seeing Ludlow's army.
    • Chapter 34: Helen actually utters the trope name upon seeing GLaDOS. Everyone else is quick to join in the Mass "Oh, Crap!" moment until Neo reveals that he managed to turn the robot around. Then Sarah and Dash get this when the HMS Bubonic Plague blows up, and Adam when Ripper reveals himself to be Not Quite Dead. And Ripper himself only has enough time to let out a Big "NO!" when he is finally Killed Off for Real.
    • Chapter 35: First Sarah, then Adam let out an anguished Big Word Shout when they think that Violet has been killed off. And in the end, Ludlow lets out "a long, loud, high-pitched, piercing scream of complete and absolute terror" before and while he really is killed off. He apparently thinks they are angels about to take him off to the next life, until they reveal their teeth...
  • Opposite-Sex Clone: Adam is essentially this to Sarah. In a rare case, he's actually older by a year or two than his genetic sister.
  • Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: "My name is UltraViolet... and I am THROUGH running!"
  • Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Finish him." The fact that it's Violet of all people who delivers this line makes it especially chilling.
  • Punny Name: Nearly all the Super names involve a lame pun, a Stealth Pun, or some other kind of wordplay.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Several are delivered by various characters to Ludlow after his plan to destroy all non-human life is revealed, all of which are more or less completely ignored. The one delivered by Violet in Chapter 26 in particular stands out because it sums up everything that is wrong with him in-universe, and even trumps Sarah's anger to such an extent that it takes her by surprise.
    Violet: Did you say what I thought you said? Did you say you wanted to accelerate the mass-extinction we ourselves caused and that we are trying to prevent? Did you say you wanted to eliminate ALL NON-HUMAN LIFE FORMS, and essentially DOOM YOUR OWN SPECIES TO EXTINCTION AS WELL IN THE PROCESS?! All for the innocent mistake of ONE LOUSY BIRD?! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!?!
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning, with Hellish Pupils for extra measure:
    • Most things under Aperture's care have glowing red eyes, which tend to creep the hell out of most of the characters.
    • Ripper subverts it, however; his humanoid form has red eyes, his raptor form has yellow.
    • Subverted again with V-Wrex, but in a different way. Even though Sarah freaks out at her updated eye coloration, she, like the other T.rexes, remains all in all heroic.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Each of the members from one family is essentially a counterpart to the... counterpart of the other in some way or another. David's down-to-earth, practical attitude contrasts with Bob's outgoing nature and reliance on brute strength. Helen's balanced, composed personality come at odds with Kate's flightiness and tendency to panic at the first sign of danger. Sarah's stubbornness and straightforwardness conflict with Violet's introverted, strategic nature. And Dash's hyperactive, quirky, quick-to-act demeanor is in opposition to Adam's scientific, analyzing state of mind.

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