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Fanfic / Retro Chill

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Retro Chill is a Crossover of sorts between two Calvin and Hobbes Script Fic trilogies - Swing 123's series (consisting of Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie, Calvin and Hobbes II: Lost at Sea, and Calvin and Hobbes III: Double Trouble) and garfieldodie's series (consisting of Can You Imagine That?, Attack of the Teacher Creature, and Trouble Island). It is perhaps the turning point in the Calvinverse - two previously unrelated stories come together to form a cohesive whole.


Fittingly, Retro and Rupert & Earl Chill have teamed up to get their archenemy - our six-year-old protagonist. They successfully abduct him, leaving behind an Evil Knockoff to fool the other four protagonists. Now, Calvin must escape the ship before everything goes kaput.

A rewrite is in progress, set to be the Grand Finale of the rewritten Calvinverse.

This fanfic provides examples of:

     Tropes for the original 
  • Accidental Misnaming: Played with - it first appears that Evil Calvin calls Susie "Marcie", but he then reveals he was actually talking to Moe. He then calls him "Mack" and "Ginger".
  • Actually a Doombot: Calvin believes this when he encounters the real Retro, and tries to prove it's this.
  • Adorkable: Bob, mainly due to his cowardice.
  • Air-Vent Passageway: Calvin ends up in one in Chapter 11.
  • American Accents: The evil Calvin has a New York accent.
  • And I Must Scream: The heroes' plan is to trap Rupert, Earl, and Retro in paused time forever.
  • Are We There Yet?: Socrates says this while the group travels to Rupert's ship.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: According to Calvin, second grade involves "mustard gas, whips, swinging pendulums, and long division."
  • Author Catchphrase: "Help. Cry for help." It first appeared in Double Trouble, then appears in Chapter 18 here, then shows up in the first and second season of The Series.
  • Big Bad Duumvirate: Retro and Bob team up with Rupert and Earl.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Hobbes and the others arrive in the upgraded wagon in Chapter 20.
  • Big "NO!": Calvin does one after the planet selector fails to take him to Earth.
    • Evil Calvin also does this when he's sucked up by the Imaginator, turning into a Rapid-Fire "No!".
    • Calvin does another one (after a Big "WHAT?!") when he learns he has to go to school tomorrow.
  • Big Red Button: Retro pushes one to activate a signal in Chapter 11.
  • Big "SHUT UP!": Retro does one to quiet the aliens down.
  • Big "WHAT?!": Calvin does one after Retro tells him that he'll be tortured. It's quickly subverted, though, because Calvin didn't actually hear what he was saying.
    • Calvin does a straighter one after learning he has to go to school tomorrow, followed by a Big "NO!".
  • Black Belt in Origami: Calvin quotes the Trope Namer in Chapter 6.
  • Blackmail: Evil Calvin plans to use the Planet Deteriorater to blackmail the planet into bowing down to Retro and Rupert. It's even the title of Chapter 11!
  • Blah Blah Blah: The narrator says this during a scene where Retro tries to quiet the aliens down.
  • Book-Ends: The very end of the movie is a line-for-line recreation of dialogue from the beginning of Can You Imagine That? (which, canonically, is the first installment in The ’Verse).
  • Breath Weapon: The Spacers suck things into their mouths ala Kirby.
  • Brick Joke: In Chapter 7, Evil Calvin complains about the quality of a certain vendor's chocolate ice cream, planning to sue. Later, in Chapter 13, he asks Fake Mom and Fake Dad for some chocolate ice cream - specifically better than the vendor's. (He's still planning to sue, too.)
    • An early chapter has Sherman biting Socrates' ear. In Chapter 13, Sherman responds to a disparaging remark of his with "Come closer so that I may bite you," prompting Socrates to back away and rub his ear.
    • Another early chapter has Calvin playing mock-Jeopardy! with an alien. Much later, in Chapter 14, an alien responds to a question with "I'll take weird creature for 500, please."
  • Bring It: Lampshaded.
    Evil Calvin: Bring it on.
    Calvin: Is that the best banter you can come up with?
    Evil Calvin: I'm working on short notice. Give me a break.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Evil Calvin, unsurprisingly.
  • Chekhov's Gun: After Socrates uses the Time Pauser, Andy pockets it for safekeeping. Later, in Chapter 13, he and Sherman flee from some guards and end up activating it.
    Sherman: Well, well. It would appear that your inability to remember anything has paid off.
    • Better yet, the very first chapter has Calvin using the Time Pauser to extend summer vacation, and Hobbes asks "what happens when you touch the button again, but I'm not touching you? Do I stay here in the point where time doesn't exist?" Seventeen chapters later, Hobbes remembers this moment and comes up with a plan to trap the villains in paused time forever.
      • The original "gun" comes up again, as Andy apparently dropped it - leading Retro to get it.
    • Another incredibly long wait between reappearances: the guitar used in the climax of Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie is used again to get Calvin out of a force field.
    • The gun used at the end of Trouble Island (helpfully pointed out by the narration) is used again to revert things back the way they were.
  • Chirping Crickets: Alien crickets, no less.
  • Circling Birdies: After getting socked by the evil Calvin, Hobbes sees "a bunch of stars, planets, tweety birds and somewhere in the deeper recesses of his brain, he heard a harp playing for no apparent reason."
  • Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Done somewhat jokingly with Calvin.
    "Well, it's about time! I've been waiting a full one minute! Who has that kind of time? Get me out of here!"
  • Continuity Nod: The evil Calvin references VVV's, much to Hobbes' disgust.
  • Cool Starship: Sherman built one, and nobody's too sure how he managed to do it.
  • Cowardly Sidekick: Bob to Retro.
  • Crapsack World: Earth under Evil Calvin's management.
  • Dedication: Bill Watterson is thanked in the opening credits.
  • Delayed Reaction: It takes a long time for Galaxoid and Nebular to figure out that Calvin was lying about being the Earth Potentate.
  • Delinquent Hair: Evil Calvin has a mohawk.
  • Department of Redundancy Department:
    Retro: This is perfect, Bob. With my brains and his army and my brains, we could rule the world side-by-side.
  • Descriptiveville: Apparently, Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm are the makers of the best Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm-ian burgers in all of Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm-ville.
    • Later, Ernie suggests that the newly-conquered Earth be renamed "Retro and Rupertville". It gets shot down quickly.
  • Do Not Adjust Your Set: Retro, Rupert, and Earl do this to every station in the world, explaining their Evil Plan.
  • Double Subversion: When Socrates finally learns about his transmitter chip, he marches over to Sherman, plucks him up, and... begins laughing. After everyone else starts laughing, he abruptly stops and angrily tells him to take it out.
  • Duck Season, Rabbit Season: Retro does this with Calvin when they're arguing over whether the former is Rupert in disguise or the actual Retro.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Played for Laughs, as Calvin wants more respect than he really needs.
  • Earth-Shattering Kaboom: Sherman creates a device that can destroy planets, and Evil Calvin repeatedly threatens to use it once he gets his hands on it.
  • Egopolis: Retro and Rupert brainstorm names for their newly-controlled planet. Among them include Rupretoia, The Planet of Evil, and The Planet of No Calvin.
    • Much later, in a mere two weeks Evil Calvin manages to turn Earth into a dictatorship, where everyone bows down to him and follows his laws:
    No watching TV unless it's the military channel, all money from the toy stores go to him, and you have to say "Long live Evil Calvin" every day.
  • Evil Knockoff: The villains create an evil Calvin to ruin the real one's reputation.
  • Evil Laugh: Lampshaded:
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Brainstorm's Defeat Current Dictator and Give User Control all at the Same Time device.
  • Extreme Omnivore: The Shadowfax eat anything they can.
  • Eye Pop: Bob does this after Calvin threatens him with death.
  • Face Palm: Calvin does one after being tricked by Socrates.
  • Fireball Eyeballs: Evil Calvin gets these after getting pounced on by Hobbes in Chapter 20.
  • Gasp!: Done by Calvin when he learns of the villains' plot. His parents do another one soon after for the same reason.
  • Get Out!: Remarked upon:
    Rupert: Next time, Next time, we don't just go bursting into people's homes like we did. We freaked everyone out.
    Earl: Isn't that a good thing?
    Rupert: Normally, yes, but it's not when they throw their furniture at us and yell "GET OUT, GET OUT".
  • Group Hug: Socrates asks for one as a Last Request - allowing him to use the Time Pauser and get out of Dodge.
  • HA HA HA— No: Socrates' reaction to Sherman suggesting he'll let the whole transmitter chip thing slide.
  • Hates Being Touched: Bob immediately zooms away upon realizing Earl's about to touch him during their conversation.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Bob.
    Hobbes: Welcome to the Good Side. Don't expect free donuts, though.
  • Hidden Depths: Hobbes is surprisingly good at singing.
    • Also, Andy has a black belt in karate.
  • Hold Up Your Score: Rupert, Earl, and Bob give Retro a 10, 9.5, and 9 for his attempt to get the aliens to shut up.
    "Hey, I beat my old record."
  • Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Every chapter is named after a song.
  • Insignificant Little Blue Planet: The planet selector's explanation of Earth is "home to the most obsolete and stupidest aliens in the universe, THE EARTHLINGS!" Calvin argues against it, but the voice simply tells him that they're always fighting and have never visited another planet. He can't argue with that.
  • Insult Backfire:
    Susie: Man, you are evil!
    Evil Calvin: Why, thank you.
  • Ironic Echo: Evil Calvin threatens a man that he'll be beaten senseless on the count of three. Later, when he holds the remote to destroy the Earth, he does the same thing - only everyone bows down before "three".
  • Kill and Replace: Retro's plan for Calvin is to kidnap him, ruin his reputation with an evil clone, lower defense systems so the aliens can take over, and then kill the real Calvin.
  • Kill It with Fire: Hobbes tries this on the Shadowfax, but it doesn't work - the Spacers are weak to fire, and the Shadowfax actually love it.
  • Kill It with Ice: The actual weakness of the Shadowfax, which Socrates exploits with a catch rope and a freezer.
  • Kill It with Water: Hobbes tries this on the Shadowfax, but it doesn't work - it was actually the Blackosts that were weak to water.
  • The Last of These Is Not Like the Others: When Galaxoid and Nebular discuss Calvin's (supposed) role as Supreme Earth Potentate in Chapter 13:
    Nebular: The fact that nobody seems to know that Calvin is the Supreme Earth Potentate. Plus, the fact that a six-year-old boy is the leader of a planet is also a bit odd.
    Galaxoid: And then there's the fact that he is constantly denying that he is the Earth leader.
  • Last Request: Evil Calvin lets Socrates have his - a Group Hug, which allows him to use the Time Pauser and save everyone.
  • Let's Split Up, Gang: Everyone splits up in Chapter 13, taking one invention with them.
  • Let Us Never Speak of This Again: Hobbes and Socrates agree on this when they accidentally get caught in a net.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: Finally subverted, as Calvin tells Socrates about the chip in his head.
  • Look Behind You: Calvin claims that there's a white thing with glowing green eyes and razor-sharp talons behind the aliens in Chapter 7, inciting mass panic and allowing him to escape.
  • Loophole Abuse: The arena forbids using Calvin's inventions... but that doesn't stop Sherman from constructing something.
  • MacGyvering: Sherman takes an advanced Zok gun, the wagon, and a propeller, and constructs an armed vehicle in Chapter 15.
  • Make Me Wanna Shout: The Tornaduses can use this to stun their prey.
  • Malicious Misnaming: Socrates calls Sherman "Bucky".
  • Marshmallow Dream: Referenced as a Shout-Out to SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • Meaningful Name: The Tornaduses can create tornadoes, and the Clawracks have Wolverine Claws.
  • Medium Awareness: When the group encounters a goose in space:
    Hobbes: Well, this story is starting to get weird.
    Socrates: Well, the authors have added in giant mutant geese. This should be an interesting scene.
    • Then, at the end of Chapter 17:
    Hobbes: OK. Now we're doomed.
    Calvin: Unless we miraculously come up with a plan in the next chapter.
    • "Wow. That was even more dramatic than the lava scene."
    • Chapter 20:
    Hobbes: People sure do get slammed into a wall a lot in this scene.
    Calvin: Well, what else are we supposed to do?
  • Music Soothes the Savage Beast: This is how Hobbes defeats the Clawracks. The trope name is even mentioned.
  • Mystery Meat: The aliens' dinner meatloaf had contents so disgusting, the narrator refuses to say what it is.
  • The Napoleon: Retro remarks "Hard to beat up someone, when you're three feet tall, huh?", and Calvin reacts with horror.
  • No-Sell: Moe is not knocked back at all when Calvin crashes into him in Chapter 20.
  • Not Himself: The evil Calvin, masquerading as the real one, ends up suspected as this by Hobbes and Socrates.
  • Not-So-Innocent Whistle: Socrates does this after the evil Calvin informs Sherman about something derogatory he said.
    • The alien crew also do this when Earl asks why they didn't take Calvin to the torture room. (Answer: they were too busy watching SpongeBob SquarePants.)
  • Numbered Sequels: Zig-zagged. The fic itself has no numeral, but other sources tag it with a "4".
  • Off with His Head!: Rupert threatens Lenny with this if the latter starts freaking out about the ghost again.
  • Only One Name: Lampshaded as the three antagonists get trapped in paused time:
    Rupert Chill was gone.
    Retro Griffin was gone.
    Earl... uh... Earl was gone.
  • Our Founder: Evil Calvin has a monument of him when he takes over Earth.
  • Pintsized Powerhouse: Evil Calvin has no trouble at all beating people up.
  • Playground Song: Socrates sings "48 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" in Chapter 12, much to the annoyance of everyone else.
  • Pun-Based Title: Chapter 13 is titled "Feats Don't Fail Me Now".
  • Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "I...... AM... NOT... THE... EARTH... POTENTATE!"
  • Rapid-Fire "No!": Evil Calvin does this while being sucked up by the Imaginator.
  • Reactive Continuous Scream: A newly-awakened Calvin and an alien do this for a bit in Chapter 4.
    • Also done briefly between Bob and the rest of the protagonists in Chapter 12, though Hobbes stops it because Bob is harmless.
  • Rule of Three: People wondering how "a little hairball (Sherman) built something so big".
  • Running Gag: The alien crew freaking out about a ghost.
    • In a fight scene, someone kicking/stomping on another person's appendages, causing them to scream "YEEEE-OW!" or something similar and drop one of Calvin's inventions.
    • Bob getting startled by the aliens.
  • The Scream: Every protagonist does this at the start of Chapter 17, as it appears they'll crash into lava and die (except Socrates, who somehow knew that the ships were lava-proof).
  • Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: Socrates does this to Hobbes for a change.
    Hobbes: Hey, I'm supposed to be the one that vanishes and leaves the other hanging! Now I know how Calvin feels when I do it to him.
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Retro and Bob were trapped in a box, and Rupert and Earl accidentally free them.
  • Sequelitis: The movies that Galaxoid and Nebular send down In-Universe.
  • Shout-Out: Every chapter is named for a song: see the list below.
    "Oh, it's Larry! Which of those creatures behind you are Curly and Mo?"
    There once was a man from Peru
    Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
    He woke with a fright
    In the middle of the night
    [[Marshmallow Dream To find that his dream had come true.
    • Also in Chapter 15, Hobbes sings "The Best Song Ever" by Chris Rice (which also names the chapter).
    • In Chapter 16, Andy turns on the radio to find "Thunderbirds are Go" by Bustednote .
    "This is a good song."
  • So Last Season: In Double Trouble, the Shadowfax were easily defeated with any kind of light. The ones in this story, however, are much bigger than the last ones, and presumably a special variety immune to light.
  • Super Speed: The Clawracks are very fast.
  • Sure, Let's Go with That: Bob says this verbatim when Rupert questions him on why he let Calvin leave.
  • Take a Number: Done in the Torture Place, despite nobody else being in the store. They end up with 5,849,596, and it takes more than a day to get to their number.
  • Take That!: The Torture Place has the complete first and second seasons of The Backyardigans on VVV.
  • Teleporters and Transporters: Sherman has a teleportation belt.
  • This Is a Drill: Brainstorm bursts in the castle with a giant drill in Chapter 20.
  • Throw the Book at Them: Galaxoid tosses a planet field guide at Rupert, specifically revealing that Earth does not have a potentate.
  • Titled After the Song: Every chapter title is one of these.
  • Tractor Beam: Sherman's ship doesn't have one of these, and Calvin gets angry about it.
  • Trilogy Creep: Serves as this to two different trilogies.
  • Troperiffic: This story is the point where the verse starts being this.
  • We Need a Distraction: Calvin gets Bob to wave his arms around so he can escape his cell once again.
  • Wolverine Claws: The Clawracks have these, unsurprisingly.
  • Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Evil Calvin yells at an ice cream vendor that their chocolate ice cream was the worst he's ever had.
  • You Are in Command Now: Hobbes ends up becoming the leader of the group with Calvin in captivity.
  • You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!: Hobbes says this when Dave suggests playing Go Fish in Chapter 14.
  • Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: The protagonists have finally gotten Rupert, Earl, and Retro out of the way, the alien crew is happy, and they all return home. It all seems well until you remember there was another threat back on Earth...

     Tropes for the rewrite 
  • Challenging the Bully: Moe returns one last time for Calvin to stop him from picking on Susie in an epic (non-violent) Curb-Stomp Battle. The best part is that, as Calvin points out, Moe is so low on Calvin's threat list by this point that there's not even a hint of fear for him. It shows just how much Calvin has changed over the years.
  • Growing Up Sucks: Calvin begins to feel this way as second grade approaches, feeling depressed and melancholic about the changes in his life. Thankfully some encouragement from the gang, Rosalyn, and especially Hobbes seems to improve his mood at least a little. Then Rupert and Retro kidnap him immediately after.
  • Villainous B So D: Rupert has reached his all-time low at the beginning of this story. After his last defeat at Calvin's hands after Calvin and Hobbes III: Double Trouble, he's lost the will to do anything but stew in his own hatred for the boy, leaving the last remnants of his empire to continue crumbling around him.

Alternative Title(s): Calvin And Hobbes IV Retro Chill


Example of: