Fanfic / Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction

UIT HAS BEEN STOLED!

ATUHOR'S NOSE:
Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and don't know where come but I decide to write anyway.

Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction is a Half-Life fanfic that Peter Chimaera, author of DOOM: Repercussions of Evil, wrote after seeing it mentioned on Uncyclopedia. The plot revolves around Gordon Freechmen studying in his was studying labratoried and discovering an extremely 'vollatile isatope' that has a quarter-life instead of a half-life. Bad Guy From The Game steals it, and Freeman must enlist the help of his fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm in order to stop him and prevent the meltdown from destroying Dallas.

In addition to the awful spelling, grammar, writing and adherence to the source material, the fic is notable for the extremely bad nuclear physics and for being an almost completely obvious Troll Fic.

Has been adapted into a machinima by Djy Entertainment that can be found here. There is also another machinima that predates the previous one, by falconer02, which can be found here.

Not to be confused with Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, which is a similarly bad but longer fic, and is sometimes included in the same verse.

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Isotropes associated with Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction:

• Adaptational Badass: In canon, Gordon can't push heavy objects, but in Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction, he was able to push an entire henemy headquarters into a portal.
• Adaptational Intelligence: In canon, Gordon has no knowledge on nuclear physics or creating portals. In Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction, he manages to create a new radoactive isatope that has a quarter-life instead of a half-life, and later creates a portal to push the henemy headquarters into.
• Adaptational Location Change: Events are set in Dallas instead of Black Mesa (located in New Mexico) or City 17 (located somewhere in Eastern Europe) because the author's friend lives there.
• Adaptational Job Change: Gordon is seen studying nuclear physics in his was studying laboratied at the start of the story. In canon, Gordon is a theoretical physicist.
• Adaptation Personality Change: Unlike the original series, Gordon is not a Heroic Mime, instead acting as the Mr. Exposition of the story.
• Ambiguous Situation: The identity of the character that said "Not so fast Mr. Gordon." is never stated, nor is the purpose of them halting Gordon.
• Artistic License – Nuclear Physics: The isotope has a quarter-life instead of a half-life that, when reached, causes a room to "slowly become vaporize." It can potentially destroy an entire city unless it's pushed into a portal and dropped into the ocean, which makes it harmless and has no risk of radioactive contamination. ...hmmm, don't see ANYTHING wrong here!
• Author Appeal: Takes place in Dallas instead of Black Mesa or City 17, because the author's friend lives there.
• Butt-Monkey: Everything happens to Jimm. He gets headcrabbed, cut by claymore sword, and blowed to smitheroons, all in one day.
• Canon Foreigner: Instead of using one of Gordon Freeman's partners from the games, such as Dr. Kleiner, Dr. Vance, Alyx, or Barney, the story introduces us to "fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm" who becomes Gordon's sidekick for most of the story.
• Cliffhanger: The story ends with someone saying "Not so fast Mr. Gordon." What happens next? You decide! Thanks for reading!
• Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Subverted when Gordon kills the headcrab on Jimm, as he chews Gordon out for accidentally cutting him, only to say "just kidding thanks".
• Creator Provincialism: Takes place in Dallas instead of Black Mesa or City 17, because the author's friend lives there.
• Deus ex Machina: Nothing prior to chapter 3 foreshadowed Gordon's ability to use portals, which allowed him to push henemy headquarters into portals to transport the it to a safe place.
• Department of Redundancy Department: "Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratied"
• Dropped a Bridge on Him: Jimm is unceremoniously "blowed to smitheroons" when everything become vaporize.
• Dunking the Bomb: When the "radoactive isatope" reaches its quarter-life, Gordon Freeman contains the meltdown by using portals to push "henemy" headquarters into a portal, causing it to "go off harmless in Atlantic ocean".
• Fan Sequel: The story lends itself very easily to this, since it ends with the author inviting the reader to decide what happens next. Published examples include:
  • "Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom": continues the story and ties it into Half-Life: Full Life Consequences. Notable in that it explains a number of random occurrences in the first Full Life Consequences, explaining the origin of the headcrab officer, the wepon John Freeman finds in Ravenholdm, who wrote "u sudnt come here" on the sign, the origins of the zombie goasts, and even goes so far as to explain where the Combine hug tower at the end of the saga comes from. This one is now in machinima form by PKMNEmerald.
  • Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction 2: Gordon Freeman teams up with Lara Croft to find another isotope while a new bad guy plots to use it to meltdown Toronto and rebuild Ancient Egypt. Expands on the absurd logic of the original fanfic with the addition of Artistic License – Geography and Artistic License – History in addition to continuing the outlandish depictions of nuclear physics.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Gordon never brings up Jimm after he is "blowed to smitheroons". The Fan Sequel Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction 2 averts this, as he remembers that Jimm died because of Bad Guy From the Game.
• Generic Doomsday Villain: Bad Guy From the Game's purpose is to cause a meltdown with the stolen isotope. He doesn't even allow himself to make his demands before declaring that it's too late.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Bad Guy From the Game declares it "too late" to comply with his demans and starts the meltdown before he even has a chance to say what his demans are.
• "I Know What We Can Do" Cut: After the isotope hit quarterlife, Gordon calls someone and cuts himself off with "I know!" followed by the narration recounting his plan to relocate the henemy headquarters as he does so.
• Immediate Self-Contradiction:
  • "He hits teh headcrab and Jimm was okay but his head was cut"
  • Chapter 2's title, "THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T".
• Improvised Weapon: Inverted; GHordon goes to get his crowbarb when a headcrab attacks Jimm, but it is missing, so he ends up grabbing a claymore sword instead.
• Karma Houdini: Bad Guy From the Game presumably escapes after causing the meltdown.
• Ludicrous Gibs: What remains of Jimm after the meltdown. In the Djy video, all that's left is extremely bloody gibs on par with TF2.
• Major Injury Underreaction: Jimm gets his head cut with a claymore sword, but manages to shrug it off.
  "Watch where you swings at me! Just kidding!"
• Mass Teleportation: Gordon teleports the entire henemy headquarters to the Atlantic Ocean.
• Minimalist Cast: Aside from Gordon, the only characters featured in the story are Jimm and Bad Guy From the Game. By Chapter 3, Jimm has died and Bad Guy From the Game is missing in action, leaving only Gordon and the unknown figure that said "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon" as the cast.
• No Ending: Someone says, "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon", and the author tells the reader to decide what happens next.
• No Name Given: The antagonist is referred to only as "a bad guy from the game". Because of this, it's not even clear which antagonist from the Half-Life series this is.
• Product Placement: "Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor :("
• Rouge Angles of Satin: It's Peter Chimaera. It's everywhere.
• Small Role, Big Impact: Bad Guy From the Game only appears in one scene, but he's the one who hits quarterlife with the isotope, which kills Jimm and nearly destroys Dallas.
• Spoiler Title: "CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T"
• Stylistic Suck: Naturally, as all of Peter Chimaera's fics are intentionally bad.
• Super-Strength: Gordon is so strong that he's capable of pushing the henemy headquarters into the portal he created.
• Troll Fic: Again, all of Peter Chimaera's fics are intentionally bad.
• What Happened to the Mouse?:
  • The "bad guy from the game" after the meltdown, unless he's the one who says "Not So fast Mr. Gordon".
  • Not to mention the ONE question that wasn't answered: "OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM!" It's generally assumed that Bad Guy From the Game used it as a distraction so he could steal the isotope, but this is not explicitly confirmed in the story.
  • We also never found out what happened to Gordon's crowbarb, that was apparently "missing."
• You Can't Thwart Stage One: The heroes fail to recover the isotope or prevent "quarter-life", not helped by the villain pretty much skipping from stage one to the climax.
  Bad Guy from the Game: IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS
  TOO LATE
• Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: The final lines are "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon".

Adaptations of Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction, as well as unofficial sequels, provide examples of:

• Adaptational Badass: PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom casts Father Grigori as "guy in suite". Despite having no superpowers in canon, he's show to be capable of teleportation and telepathy.
• Adaptational Context Change:
  • The original story had the narrator shout 'OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM!' when a headcrab jumps on Jimm's head. falconer02's adaptation has Jimm shout out the line, while Djy's adaptation has Gordon say the line.
  • At the end of chapter three, an unknown figure says "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon" after Gordon "scucceeded at winning the mission". falconer02's adaptation has Bad Guy From the Game threaten Gordon by saying the line, Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Guy in Suite (implied to be Gman) say the line to tell him that he still has a job to do, and Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction 2 has Lara Croft say the line to ask him if he still has the isotsaop.
  • In the original text, the “TOO LATE” after Bad Guy From The Game mentions his demans is in a new paragraph, implying either Gordon or Jimm said it. In both machinimas, Bad Guy says it himself, presumably for the comedic value.
• Adaptational Explanation: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, a interquel to Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, reveals that the police officer John Freeman encounters became a headcrab zombie when a headcrab attacked him while he was asking Gordon for his 'dirver licence', the wepon John Freeman finds lying around was dropped by Gordon, the zombie goasts died because Gordon killed them, Final Boss is Dr. Breen, who rebuilt the 'Combine hug tower' and fights Gordon to get revenge, and Next Boss is a henchman hired by Final Boss to kill Gordon.
• Adaptation-Induced Plot Hole:
  • Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom ends with Gordon sending an email to his brother, saying "bro, aliens and monsters are attacking my place". However, the person that's attacking him is neither an alien nor a monster, and nothing implies that Final Boss brought aliens and monsters with him. The original story implies that the dead headcrabs John Freeman encountered before reaching Gordon were the aliens and monsters Gordon referred to in the email.
  • In chapter 2 of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, the narration establishes that Gordon is only left with a crowarb after his wepon falls out of his backpack, ignoring the fact that it was missing in Halfway To Destruction.
  • The original story has Gordon push the henemy headquarters containing the isatope into a portal so "it would only go off harmless in Atlantic ocean". Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom instead has Gordon teleport the isatope to Ravenholm, which damages the brains of the residents instead of blowing them to smitheroons.
• Adaptational Villainy:
  • Djy's adaptation casts Father Grigori as Bad Guy From the Game. He decidedly wasn't the lightest character in the game, but definitely didn't try to make rooms slowly become vaporize, or blow people to smitheroons.
  • Despite not showing any hints of maliciousness before they were killed prior to the events of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, the Ravenholm villagers in Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom murdered Alex for no noticeable reason. In the original story, they were sympathetic characters due to being slaves to Ravenholm, but here they're on the receiving end of Pay Evil unto Evil.
  • In Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, the police officer that John Freeman met was just a regular cop who got possessed by a headcrab, but in Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, the cop is a Combine disguised as a police officer.
• Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: In canon, Alex is a Hero-Worshipper towards Gordon. In Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, she is Gordon's wife.
• All According to Plan: Near the end of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, Final Boss declares that "everything goed just as i planed" when revealing that he destroyed Gordon's house to lure out Gordon so Next Boss can kill him.
• All Up to You: Subverted in Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom. Gordon tells himself "fate of humens rests on my sholders!" while he's driving to Final Boss. However, Gordon is Doomed by Canon and his brother John Freeman takes over the role as Saver of Humens after Gorden dies at the end of the first part of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences.
• Bald of Evil: Due to using Father Grigori's character model, Bad Guy From the Game is bald in Djy's adaptation.
• Bolivian Army Ending: falconer02's adaptation ends with Bad Guy From the Game saying "Not so fast Mr. Gordon." when Gordon celebrates after he "scucceeded at winning the mission".
• The Cameo: Djy's adaptation features Barney, Dog, G-Man, and Heavy Weapons Guy as background characters.
• Canon Character All Along: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom reveals that Final Boss and Dr. Breen are the same person.
• Casual High Drop: Djy's adaptation has Jimm, who had a headcrab jump on his head, fall off a platform and land on his head, sustaining no visible injuries.
• Continuity Nod: In the original story, Gordon and Jimm encounter a headcrab before they notice that the isatope is missing. In Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom Gordon reacts to a Combine disguised as a police officer being attacked by a headcrab by shouting "not this again!".
• Creepy Monotone: PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Final Boss speak in a robotic tone while gloating at Gordon.
• Crowbar Combatant: After he accidentally dropped his wepon when he drove away from the combine that got attacked by a headcrab in Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, he's left with only a crowarb to defend himself.
• Doomed Hometown: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Final Boss destroy Gordon's house in revenge for destroying the Citadel.
• Evil Sounds Deep: PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom gives the Combine that asks Gordon for his licence a raspy voice.
• Fascinating Eyebrow: In Djy's adaptation, Gordon raises his left eyebrow when he figures out how to contain the meltdown.
• Fish Eyes: Gordon in Djy's adaptation is almost always seen with wall eyes. The moments where he doesn't have them can be counted on one hand.
• Groin Attack: PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Gordon kick a Combine in the crotch while threatening Final Boss.
• Interquel: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom starts at the final scene of the original story, and ends when the email about the aliens and monsters is sent to John Freeman, leading to the events of Half-Life: Full Life Consequences.
• Jaw Drop:
  • Gordon does one when Bad Guy From the Game challenges him at the end of falconer02's adaptation.
  • Jimm's jaw drops when he sees a headcrab moments before it jumps on him in Djy's adaptation.
• My Nayme Is: In Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, Final Boss's alternate name is 'Final Baos'.
• No Name Given: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom describes the man who said "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon" as "guy in suite/suit". The fact that he assigns him a job at the start and gives him helpful information when Gordon was uncoscios near the end implies that the guy in suite is G-Man.
• No-Sell: PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Gordon withstand getting blown up by a rocket.
• Oh, No... Not Again!: In Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, Gordon shouts "not this again!" when a headcrab jumps on the Combine that was disguised as a police officer.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: While Gordon did massacre all of the current residents in Ravenholm in Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, it happened after he witnessed the residents murder Alex, his wife.
• Public Domain Soundtrack: Djy's adaptation and PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom use royalty-free music to convey the feeling of a classic radio drama.
• Puppy-Dog Eyes: Djy's adaptation has Peter Chimaera attempt this to get the viewer to buy his book.
• Remember the New Guy?: Gordon's brother John Freeman is never brought up until the final sentence of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom.
• Running Gag:
  • In Djy's adaptation, the spelling of Freechmen/Freemant/Freeman.
  • It also continues the Running Gag from Djy's Half-Life: Full Life Consequences machinima of taking official art from Half-Life 2 and slapping other characters heads onto the characters. Except this time it's Gordon Freeman with Gordon Freeman's head.
• Stealth Sequel: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, aside from being an Interquel of the original story and Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, takes place after the destruction of the Citadel in Half-Life 2.
• Sudden Sequel Death Syndrome: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom has Alex, a main character who's still alive by the end of Episode 2 of Half-Life 2, die by the hands of the Ravenholm villagers at the start of Chapter 3.
• Title Drop: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, a interquel to the original story and Half-Life: Full Life Consequences, has Gordon declare that Final Boss will face "full life consequences for what (he) didd!".
• Unexplained Recovery: Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom reveals that Dr. Breen survived the destruction of the Citadel. How he survived is never hinted.
• Visual Pun:
  • Djy's adaptation uses the phrase "ATUHOR'S NOSE" (author's notes) as a visual gag by shows the nose of the author.
  • In PKMNEmerald's adaptation of Quarter-Life: Origin of Doom, Gordon's 'crowarb' is a crowbar that has a crow attached to it.
• Voice Clip Song: Bad Guy From The Game's speech in Djy's adaptation was mixed with Galaxy Man's stage theme from Mega Man 9.
• You Are Already Dead: Djy's adaptation plays out the scene that stated "Jimm was okay but his head was cut" after Gordon killed the headcrab by having Jimm give a thumbs up and smile, only to have his head covered in blood from the wound three seconds later.

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"Hooray I scucceeded at reading the article"

"Not so fast, Mr. Troper"

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