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Fanfic / Portal 3

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The story's title page. Things only get crazier from here.

Portal 3 is "multimedia comic" by deathswag (formerly blademarylin) done In the Style of... MS Paint Adventures. Four years after Portal 2, Wheatley decides to use his "death laser" to inscribe a giant apology to Chell on the moon's surface. Chell, now a "severely brain-damaged" scientist on the surface discovers Wheatley's message and sets out on a madcap adventure to rescue him. Meanwhile, a mysterious AI known as The Mainframe is gathering personality cores for some sinister plan, and Chell keeps having flashbacks of a strange man who may or may not have been her boyfriend: someone named "Wheatley Whitmore".

Author removed his Deviantart account.

The story has ceased updating, with deathswag explaining that her future plans for the fic were turning it into a Portal story In Name Only, and it is now being rewritten as part of deathswag's original fiction comic Monarch.


This work contains examples of:

I'm calling her Izzy Fortuna though so it's totally kosher. (Plus Scientist!Chell was hardly Chell at all except for the name.)
  • Bad Boss: Cave Johnson as expected, see cool and unusual punishment.
    • He maintains this status as The Mainframe. Poor PERcy will never have that party...
  • Big Bad: The Mainframe/Cave Johnson.
  • Advertisement:
  • Blatant Lies: "Propulsion Pudding: Made with love and real, wholesome fiberglass!"
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Since being released in Portal 2, Chell has become completely divorced from reality. They're not even on speaking terms.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: Cave Johnson punishes Wheatley for being late by covering all the sidewalks in the employee housing district with repulsion gel, then convincing the other scientists to lynch him.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Cave Johnson has a pair of stilts on hand in case a very tall person shows up so that he can always be the tallest person in the room.
  • Crossover: With The Underground, a Portal 2 machinima series.
  • Dead Fic: deathswag has stated the story has "fallen on the wayside" and no further updates are planned.
    • She has further elaborated that it was becoming a Portal fanfic In Name Only, so she decided it might as well be an original story anyway. It's now being rewritten as part of Monarch.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: When Chell finds the gels, she tests the conversion (white) gel by spraying it onto her face.
  • The Dragon: PERcy to The Mainframe.
  • Epic Fail:
    • Chell's first three attempts to rescue Wheatley:
      • She builds a giant magnet to pull him, it somehow develops teeth and legs, chasing her around the room, and doesn't even work as a functional magnet.
      • A space suit. It comes to life and chases her around the room before escaping into the ventilation shafts...
      • A giant hand to pluck Wheatley out of space with. She decides to repeatedly hit the hand with a broom to deter it from attacking her like the other two, it then attacks her like the other two.
  • Good Angel, Bad Angel: Chell has some, they're companion cubes of course.
  • Heroic Mime: Chell, except in her imagine spots. If they're anything like how Chell would actually speak to people, its a good thing she's mute.
  • Hope Spot: GLaDOS sees a flower growing in the ruins of the Aperture Science Employee Dormitories. She's so moved by the sight of life springing up from destruction, that she declares that as long as the flower stands she will turn over a new leaf. Then Chell runs over the flower with a stolen dump truck.
  • Imagine Spot: Three, one where Chell imagines that she's driving a stolen dump truck in gangster clothes while playing "cool rap music", her piloting a spaceship while yelling sound effects to mission control, and another where she's a knight saving "Princess Wheatley" and yelling "FOR CAMELOT!".
  • In Name Only: Deathswag's belief that the story was becoming this for the Portal series was one of the reasons for its abandonment. Also nearly brought up by name in the announcement that Portal 3!Chell would become an original character in Monarch with Deathswag stating "Scientist!Chell was hardly Chell at all except for the name".
  • In the Style of...: MS Paint Adventures, except for looking like it was drawn in Microsoft Paint.
  • Ink-Suit Actor: Human!Wheatley looks just like Stephen Merchant. His entire introduction is a big height joke.
  • Insane Troll Logic:
    • All of Chell's inventions are made from this, especially her plans to rescue Wheatley.
    • Wheatley himself... somehow... determines that Chell's name is actually "Peter", even addressing his apology "To Peter" and provides helpful advice on how Chell can make the name sound more feminine.
  • Lemony Narrator: The narrator will make fun of the characters, become distracted by "hunks" who appear in a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment, and go on a tangent of how Wheatley is like a lobster.
  • Love at First Sight: In a flashback, human!Wheatley's first meeting with Chell is described as him saying "ramble ramble REALLY BIG HEART".
  • Morality Pet: Wheatley for Chell, a random flower for GLaDOS (at least until Chell runs over it with a dump truck).
  • Pointy-Haired Boss: Mr. Bill. He's tried to fire Chell several times, but she just keeps coming back to work, so now he just ignores Chell and lets her go about her business.
  • Punny Name: Wheatley's surname is Whitmore (as in half-whit), the other scientists quickly notice this. Wheatley never figures it out.
  • Purple Prose: Played with. Sometimes sentences will contain drawn out similes like "shipwreck-island of bitterness" only to end with "like a lonely weirdo".
  • Race Lift: Chell has gone from being ambiguously Asian in the games to being Mexican here.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Wheatley's moon-sized apology letter. The narrative describes it as " a message full of words like “arse” and “masturbate” spelled wrong. A third of the way in the letters are all caps, and it appears that the author literally wasted space transcribing their own screaming".
  • Sadistic Choice: Chell must chose between saving Wheatley... or eating toxic pudding. Guess which she chooses.
  • Serial Escalation: Due to his frequently getting sidetracked, Wheatley's apology ends up covering the entirety of the moon's surface!
  • The '70s: A flashback to 1977 occurs in chapter 2. It explains the origin of Wheatley.
  • Too Dumb to Live:
    • Both Chell and Wheatley are this times. Especially during the aforementioned Sadistic Choice.
    • At one point the narrative compares Wheatley's stupidity to that of a lobster; specifically how if a lobster is placed into lukewarm water that is slowly heated, it is too stupid to realizes its burning to death.
  • World War III: While never outright stated, its strongly implied one is going on with the USA and and a reformed USSR being the main combatants. Chell clogs the US's missile silo with underpants, unknowingly allowing the Russians to win.