Fanfic / Percy Weasley and The Prefect Job That Isn't A Vanity Role

Percy Weasley and The Prefect Job That Isn't A Vanity Role is a Harry Potter fanfic by adiduck and joisbishmyoga on Archive of Our Own. It explores the idea of how things would change if Percy's role at Hogwarts was a bit more hands-on. It's written in the style of short notes on the theme rather than as a complete story.

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This fic includes the following tropes:

• Adaptational Heroism: The basilisk, of all characters. Turns out she was a victim of Voldemort’s in her own way too. Later, she ends up killing him.
• Adaptational Job Change:
  • Harry becomes Hogwarts’ History professor instead of an Auror.
  • Percy works as an auditor for Azkaban (still in the International Cooperation) instead of something at the ministry, then becomes Minister of Magic.
• Adaptational Nice Guy:
  • Draco ends up there, though not without getting hit with some character development.
  • Percy, who in-canon was a lot more aloof and brown-nosing, is a bit warmer here.
• Adaptational Sexuality:
  • Harry is gay.
  • Percy is bisexual.
• Age-Gap Romance: Percy is weirded out by Bill and Fleur's relationship because Fleur's currently eighteen and a few years younger than Percy himself while Bill is nearly a decade her senior at age twenty-six.
• Babies Ever After: For Percy, Dil and Hypatia. One of the last lines is Hypatia letting them know she's pregnant.
• Bad People Abuse Animals: Tom Riddle is all but stated to be the one who mutilated the basilisk, ripping off her eyelids so she can't help but petrify people.
• Big Damn Heroes: EPIC one from Harry and Ginny in Harry’s seventh year. They ride the basilisk out of Hogwarts into Voldemort’s army, making short work of them.
• Brick Joke: In the second chapter, Hypatia suggests that Crabbe and Goyle be encouraged to befriend Luna Lovegood, as none of them have much of a social life. Two years later, it's mentioned in passing that the three of them attended the Yule Ball together.
• Character Development: Draco goes from a little stuck-up jerk to a much nicer boy throughout the fic thanks to Dilwyn's influence and his friendship with the Trio.
• Curse Escape Clause: While not a means of removing the curse entirely, the jinx on the Defense Against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts that brings misfortune to anyone who tries to fill it won't activate if the professor doesn't intend to keep the position long-term.
• Deadpan Snarker: Everyone, but Dilwyn Greengrass takes the cake.
  Dil: I'm going to string you up by your molars if you don't finish your pumpkin juice, I slaved a whole thirty seconds over a hot Floo fetching it from the store this morning
• Deconstruction: The third chapter deconstructs the physical consequences of Hermione using time-travel to maintain an impossible class schedule beyond being tired all the time in the form of Hypatia lecturing her about how it will affect her health. Furthermore, she emphasizes that if Hermione's health deteriorates in any way because of how much stress she's putting on herself, she needs to talk to a healthcare professional immediately before long-term damage occurs.
  Hypatia: Now, you've essentially given yourself a 36-hour day. Your sleep schedule is going to be a wreck and your health will be fragile, and chronologically you'll turn fifteen in June and be older than [current youngest fourth-year girl]. If you're lucky, your periods will be three calendar weeks apart instead of four. If you start skipping periods, or losing weight or gaining it oddly fast, or feeling sick AT ALL, you're going to Madam Pomfrey before you damage yourself permanently.
• Dies Differently in Adaptation:
  • Frank Bryce is murdered a year after his canon death date.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange dies a year early when the Vanishing Cabinet the Death Eaters are supposed to use to break into Hogwarts is set up in front of the Veil in the Department of Mysteries due to being one of the first to go through it.
• Edible Ammunition: Percy accidentally repels a Dementor by throwing a bar of chocolate at it. Before long, the entire school is pelting the Dementors with chocolate bars to convince them to leave and much of the busywork Percy is given when he's hired by the Ministry amounts to "don't let anyone else find out you can stop Dementors this way, because banning chocolate isn't an option".

• Hold Your Hippogriffs: Dilwyn Greengrass starts swearing by “Dear Mrs. Malfoy” because he writes to her about Draco’s bad behavior so often.
• In-Series Nickname: Percy is referred to as "Mad-Eye Molly" when his kids are threatened a couple of times, courtesy of his sheer fury and due to his inventiveness with the Draught of Living Death.
• In Spite of a Nail:
  • Despite Hypatia telling Hermione that taking that many classes at once is a bad idea, she still enrolls in so many classes for third year that she needs a Time-Turner to make it to all of them.
  • Even though Dumbledore stops the Ministry from appointing Umbridge as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, she still manages to become Hogwarts High Inquisitor, albeit with a greatly reduced level of influence compared to canon.
• Karma Houdini: Harry, Hermione, and Neville do not get in trouble for being out of bed with Norbert, mostly because Percy and Dil both believe Draco set them up and talk McGonagall out of giving them detention.
• Loophole Abuse:
  • Since there’s no rule against it, Percy, as Harry’s legal guardian, participates in the Triwizard Tournament in Harry's place. As he’s an actual eighteen-year-old (even if he’s no longer a student), people are relieved.
  • Sirius successfully avoids the DADA curse in Harry’s fifth year by clearly stating he’ll only take the job for one year.
• Mythology Gag:
  • The school finding out that chocolate repels Dementors is phrased similarly to their learning about Harry's confrontation with Quirrell in canon.
    "What happened down in the dungeons between (Harry) and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows."
    This is a complete secret after the Minister leaves, so naturally, the entire school knows about it.
  • The trio's relationship with Draco becoming less antagonistic after they go through a crisis together parallels how Harry and Ron befriended Hermione, with the description of the event being similar to the canon one.
    There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.
    There are just some things you can’t go through without coming out friends on the other end and the World Cup events definitely counted.

• Papa Wolf: Percy to all the kids in his care, but especially towards Harry. Do not mess with Harry when Percy is around. See: the Second Task.
• Parental Substitute: The role of Prefects in this fic, despite being kids themselves, are basically to act as parental substitutes to their students while they're at school. Particularly pronounced with Harry and Percy, Hermione and Hypatia, and Draco and Dil.
• Polyamory: Percy, Hypatia Bloom, and Dilwyn Greengrass.
• Promotion to Parent: Percy gains custody of Harry late in Harry’s third year while Sirius is waiting to see a Mind Healer and is thus unfit to take up his duties as Harry's godfather. Even after Sirius is healed, Percy seems to remain Harry's primary caregiver.
• Running Gag: Dil dragging Draco off by the ear for misbehaving, followed by him writing to Narcissa about what her son's up to now.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  • The Dementors quit en masse in the third year when students start throwing chocolate bars at them.
  • Percy gives up IMMEDIATELY in the Third Task.
• Signature Move: Downplayed with Percy, who throws the Draught of Living Death at people and dragons a few times over the story.
• Spared by the Adaptation: A lot of people do not die, though specifically this includes:
  • Cedric ends up winning the Triwizard Tournament instead of being killed during the Third Task.
  • Snape is mentioned surviving the war.
  • Lupin and Tonks, who get married after the War.
  • Sirius never goes to the Ministry in Harry's fifth year, so survives.
• Spoiled Brat: Draco's brattiness at the beginning of the fic is upped several notches, as he's shown annoying his fellow Slytherins with his demands in addition to antagonizing Harry.
  Draco had so far: demanded a private room, attempted to test all the beds to select the one "most befitting of his status", complained about Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott refusing to let him do that, refused to go to bed at lights out "like a baby", complained that his bed was itchy, complained that his bed was too cold ("Probably because you're not IN IT," Dilwyn said at this point), and said about fifty rude things about Potter. It was the THIRD DAY.
• Weaksauce Weakness: Turns out chocolate doesn't just reverse the effects of dementors, but also repels them!
• What Happened to the Mouse?: No mention is made of Lucius Malfoy's fate, as he isn't brought up at all in the epilogue and later appearances of Narcissa are written ambiguously enough that she could either be a widower or a divorcee.
• "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: The final chapter elaborates on what became of most of the characters following Harry's years at Hogwarts.
  • After taking a few years off to travel and discover more about himself, Harry goes to wizarding college and becomes the new History professor at Hogwarts. His lessons are much more engaging than Binns' lectures ever were.
  • Percy resumes his job at the Ministry and finally does the Azkaban audit he was promised right after leaving school, eventually becoming Minister of Magic when he's about thirty.
  • Dil resumes his life of leisure and catching up on Coronation Street, though he helps Percy become the Minister.
  • Hypatia starts a home renovation business, with her first client being Narcissa Malfoy trying to make Malfoy Manor feel less empty.
  • Sirius is displeased to discover he's actually pretty good with politics, but he excels at cutting all the nonsense out of court proceedings.
  • Snape is tried for the murder of Dumbledore, though he's ultimately acquitted due to extenuating circumstances and vanishes from the public eye afterward.
  • Remus and Tonks, Bill and Fleur, and Ron and Hermione all get married like they do in canon.
  • Vernon and Petunia Dursley pretended Harry never existed in the first place after he moved out, which prompts Dudley to get therapy in college and ultimately strive to be a better parent than they were for his daughter Dahlia. She turns out to be a Muggleborn witch and eventually becomes a Prefect.

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