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Fanfic / No One Said Life Was Gonna Be Fair

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No One Said Life Was Gonna Be Fair is a 36-chapter Steven Universe fic based around Greg/Jasper.

The story begins when Greg Universe, a depressed 40 year old car-wash owner, meets Jasper Lazuli, a 36 year old retired soldier suffering from PTSD. Greg gives Jasper affection that she can't get at home. Her distant wife Lapis abuses her, while her teenage daughter Mal doesn't understand her mother's mental illness. Jasper commitment to her wife stops her from making a move on Greg, but this all changes as Jasper's marriage deteriorates.

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The fanfic is NSFW, with several graphic sex scenes, a lot of cursing, and a ton of violence. The original story was deleted off of Archive of Our Own but has been reposted here (and here).


This fic provides examples of:

  • Adaptational Jerkass: Most of the cast has been given this treatment:
    • Lapis is more physically abusive and aggressive than in canon.
    • Rose cheated on her wife with Greg, without telling either Pearl or Greg about each other.
    • Peridot cheated on Amethyst with Lapis, without even telling Lapis that she had a girlfriend.
    • Pearl outright hates Greg and wants him out of Steven's life.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Instead of the kinda-implied-but-never-really-confirmed relationship between Rose and Pearl that Rose would drop whenever she found a human she liked, Pearl and Rose were married, and Rose had an affair with Greg that resulted in Steven. Pearl hates Greg because of it and doesn't want him to come near Steven.
  • Adaptational Species Change:
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    • All the Gems are humans.
    • Lion is a pet tabby named "Lionel".
  • Dark Fic: The fanfic has more mature elements than the show, including physical abuse, infidelity, and suicide attempts.
  • Adaptation Name Change: Several characters have more human-sounding names. For example, Malachite's name is "Mallory", but most just call her "Mal".
  • Decomposite Character: Fusions exist as their own individuals. For example, Stephanie is Steven and Connie's friend, while Mal is Jasper and Lapis' daughter.
  • Disappeared Dad: Greg has a near-nonexistent role in Steven's life despite living nearby. This is because Pearl doesn't want Greg to be around him.
  • Domestic Abuse: Lapis is physically and emotionally abusive towards Jasper. Jasper victims blames herself and refuses to leave her wife because she loves Lapis, instead making up excuses on why they should stay together.
  • Has Two Mommies:
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    • Steven was raised by Rose's widow Pearl. He calls Pearl "Ma" and Rose "Mom".
    • Jasper and Lapis raise their daughter Mal together.
    • Garnet was raised by her two mothers, Ruby and Sapphire.
  • Friends with Benefits: Downplayed to more kid-friendly terms with 14-year olds Mal and Steven. They like each other but also like other people. As a result, they're reluctant to become a full-blown couple. They decide that it's okay to kiss, even if they're not together.
  • Interrupted Suicide: Amethyst tries to kill herself after finding out that her girlfriend was cheating on her. She's found before she bleed out and is taken to a hospital.
  • Obligatory Swearing: Pretty much all the adults swear like sailors.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Most of the characters are referred to by their canon names except for a few like Mal. Because of the suspended disbelief required for so many people named after gems living in the same town, several are explicitly nicknames.
  • The Mistress:
    • Lapis has an affair with Peridot and plans on leaving her wife for her.
    • Gender-inverted. Rose had an affair on her wife with Greg, which resulted in Steven.
  • Mythology Gag: Greg has an album called "Rose's Rebellion" where the cover art depicts Rose and her friends as alien warriors from a planet called "Homeworld".
  • Related in the Adaptation:
    • Instead of being a mother figure and parental guardian, Pearl is Steven's non-biological mother.
    • Jasper and Skinny are sisters.
  • Transgender: Stephanie is non-binary and uses "they/them" pronouns.
  • Transplanted Character Fic: This fic has virtually nothing in common with its original setting. It takes loose inspiration reinterpreting the series into human terms. Lapis and Jasper's unhealthy fusion turns into a toxic relationship (with Malachite as their daughter) and Rose Quartz being Jasper's Diamond is changed to her being her superior in the army.
  • Your Cheating Heart:
    • Rose cheated on Pearl with Greg. She didn't tell either of them about each other. Pearl spent over a decade preferring to think that Rose was using Greg as a sperm donor, but she eventually finds a tape that makes her realize there was much more to the relationship.
    • Lapis and Peridot cheat on their significant others, Jasper and Amethyst, together. They plan on leaving their partners for one another, but the affair is revealed prematurely when Amethyst walks in on them having sex.
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