Harriet "Harry" Potter realises from watching her cousin Dudley that good children never win. So, she decides she won't be a good girl any more. With the help of her split personality Moratorium, she sets about taking over the Wizarding world. Now, if only her friends - alliances, damn it! - and a certain diary would stop getting in the way...
Contains examples of:
- Becoming the Mask: Harry originally puts up the façade of being a "good girl", seeing her friends only as potential allies and having aspirations of being the next great Dark Witch. However, following critical revelations and Lupin's guidance in her third year, she becomes a warmer and kinder person who genuinely cares about her friends and relationships, though she still has no qualms about her more morally dubious actions.
- Boyfriend-Blocking Dad: Sirius for Harry. He gives Ron and Neville a "talk" that leaves Ron terrified and threatens to do the same to Draco and Oliver.
- Calling the Old Man Out: It happens off-screen, sadly, but Draco calls Lucius out when the latter objects to him marrying Hermione.
- Destination Defenestration: Dolores Umbridge gets knocked out a window by Harry, who thought she was a Death Eater. It's a long story.Harry: [afterwards] I don't see any Death Eaters. Who'd I knock out the window?
Tom: Toad lady from the Ministry.
Harry: Oh. She's an idiot. I don't mind taking out an idiot.
- Distracted by the Sexy: All the men (except Tom) when the Veelas appear. Harry has a mild case when she sees the Beauxbatons boys.
- Doorstopper: It has seven chapters, which might not sound like much, but it's over 225,000 words long.
- Entertainingly Wrong: Harry sees Professor Quirrell's strange behavior and comes to the conclusion that he's... not The Mole, but a pedophile.
- Even Evil Has Standards: While most of Tom's objections to Voldemort Pre-Heel–Face Turn are more along the lines of Pragmatic Villainy or Do Wrong, Right, he is genuinely disgusted and horrified to see Voldemort torture one of his own Death Eaters with the Cruciatus Curse at the graveyard after said Death Eater begged for forgiveness.
- Fluffy Tamer: Harry's pets include a Basilisk, a Hippogriff, and a Cerberus pup. Tom even calls her an animal-lover.
- Groin Attack: Harry hits Voldemort with a Diffindo "where no man would want one used". Ouch.
- Heel–Face Turn: After seeing just how low he would have fallen at the graveyard scene and Voldemort's resurrection, Tom fully shares his knowledge of Horcruxes with Harry and Moratorium and becomes fully determined to defeat Voldemort once and for all.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Moratorium sacrifices himself to allow Tom to become the new anchor for the Horcruxes instead of Voldemort to stop himself from causing a Split-Personality Takeover on Harry.
- Insistent Terminology:
- Harry doesn't have friends, she has alliances.
- And Voldemort is now known as "Voldewhore". And especially not "Tom", because that name's reserved for the diary Horcrux.
- Mistaken for Pedophile: Harry looks at Quirrel's clearly fake stutter, his weird habits around her, and his apparent garlic fetish and concludes that he's a sex offender with designs on her.
- Noble Demon: Moratorium. While he is fully willing to do some illegal and morally questionable actions to the point that he has his own Assassin's guild, he is genuinely dedicated to strengthening/improving the Wizarding government into a meritocracy, creating a tolerant environment for magical creatures that once suffered prejudice at the hands of wizards and witches, and Harry's well-being is his first and foremost concern.
- No, You: After Hermione explains why she thinks Harry is "smitten" with Tom, Harry points out that by that same logic Hermione must be smitten with Draco. Hermione just admits that yes, she is in fact smitten with Draco, leaving Harry flatfooted.
- One-Word Title
- Our Vampires Are Different: We don't know much about them, but they can turn any other magical creature into a vampire (though very few survive). and a wizard turned into a vampire can still use magic.
- Pragmatic Villainy: Pre-Heel–Face Turn, Tom is not pleased with what he sees as Voldemort's For the Evulz and Stupid Evil tendencies.
- Refuge in Audacity: McGonagall tries to deduct points after she knocked Umbridge out a window. Harry abuses her new status as a prefect to award herself as many points as McGonagall deducts.
- The Reveal: Moratorium isn't a split personality, or at least not just one. He's Voldemort's accidental Horcrux.
- She Is Not My Girlfriend: Harry insists she and Tom are Just Friends. Hermione's not fooled.
- Shipper on Deck: Hermione for Harry and Tom. She can see what's going on long before Harry does.
- Ship Tease:
- Harry and Tom. It starts when she's twelve and he's sixteen (give or take fifty years). She calls him "eye-candy" and she's one of the few people he trusts enough to tell about his past. They eventually end up together.
- Draco and Hermione. Despite their different personalities and opinions, they have a lot in common. And Hermione blushes when Draco calls her a "young woman". They also end up together.
- Spared by the Adaptation: Gilderoy Lockhart gets out of second year with both his memories and reputation intact.
- Split Personality: Moratorium starts off as Harry's public-facing persona for criminal profiteering, but he quickly develops into his own person. He turns out to also be Voldemort's accidental Horcrux, compelled by Lily's sacrificial magic to protect Harry at all costs — including his own existence, if necessary.
- Split-Personality Takeover: Defied by Moratorium — his whole purpose is to protect Harry, so when the possibility first occurred to him in third year that he might overtake her, he set a plan in motion to sacrifice himself.
- Stealth Parody: It is the nature of stealth parodies to be uncertain, but it may be parodying the "Dark!Harry" and "Girl!Harry" subgenres of fanfic. It is tagged as Humor.
- Wake Up Fighting: Harry has a habit of throwing Stunners around when woken up. Just ask Karkaroff and Umbridge.
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: Voldemort and the Dursleys are dead; magical creatures are accepted into Wizarding society; the twins set up a joke shop and Sirius helps out part-time; Remus marries Tonks and becomes an Auror; Dumbledore retires and Neville becomes Headmaster; Luna becomes Transfiguration teacher and marries Neville; Snape stays at Hogwarts; Hermione and Draco get married; Harry and Tom get married and find a portal to another world.