Roxas and Axel are two average young men running around Germany - teasing each other about their crushes, playing chess, working part-time... except that they're gay and their part-time job is in the SS.
If I Was Your Nazi is a Kingdom Hearts fanfic that is best known for taking Organization XIII and setting them in a pseudo-High School AU Nazi Germany while the Holocaust is in full swing, all while portraying them as heroic Nazis. Throughout the fanfic, Roxas and Axel run around being horrified by the Holocaust, yet they never do anything about it. Meanwhile, other characters from the game will show up from time to time with varying degrees of relevance to the plot.
After about fourteen chapters, the author abandoned the project and pulled it from FanFiction.net following large amounts of backlash. Despite this, the Snakes on a Sora LiveJournal still holds an abridged sporking of it
and The FanFiction Critic did a review.
The author also wrote something of a Spiritual Successor called Kamikaze, which had a similar plot but instead involved the bombing of Pearl Harbor, but that story was also removed quickly. It's currently unknown if this has been MST'd before its removal.
Compare and contrast Heimatfront.
This fanfic contains examples of:
- Adaptational Jerkass: Rikku is depicted here as wanting to become the Distaff Counterpart of Hitler (according to Axel, that is).
- Aerith and Bob: The names of the Kingdom Hearts characters tend to stick out in Nazi Germany (or just Germany in general). Axel is probably the only character whose name fits the setting, and even then his is more of a Scandinavian name than a German one.
- Anachronism Stew: Despite taking place in the 1930s/40s, the fic asserts that Roxas watched Christmas specials during Christmas. The first Christmas special didn't air on television until late in the 1950s.
- Artistic License – Geography:
- The street names in Berlin are not German. 'Augenstrasse' means 'eye street'. According to Google Maps, it doesn't exist. In fact, one street in the fic even bears the English name Stonewall.
- And you can apparently get from Berlin to Auschwitz, Poland by car in just a few hours.
- Artistic License – History:
- A recurring scene is Roxas and the other Org members cataloging valuables despite Germany having just come out of a massive, crippling depression around that time.
- None of the other Nazis seems to take issue with Roxas being gay, being a Jew, or opposing Hitler.note
- Although Hitler did have a secret bunker, he did also have another building he generally used for other things during most of his time in power. Operating from an underground hideout would just be inconvenient.
- During the Second World War, the First World War was usually referred to as the Great War, not World War I.note
- The Final Solution was implemented in 1942. This fic takes place circa 1940 when the Blitz would be going on. Although Jews were being killed in camps before the Final Solution was implemented, the story implies that it has been going on for ages already.
- In chapter three, Axel claims that Himmler's sister helped raise him. Himmler had two brothers in real life, but no sisters. The story also claims that it made sense for Axel to be Himmler's son because the latter had "so many illegitimate children". Himmler only had a set of twins with no records of any other illegitimate children outside of those two.
- In the last chapter, Roxas is upset with all of the Christmas Specials that are on TV. There were no Christmas specials in the 1940s, and there wouldn't be any until the late '50s to early '60s. (Ironically, one of the earliest ones is a Disney one.)
- Artistic License – Religion: In the basement of the house of a Jewish family are a bunch of glass figurines of the Virgin Mary. The Virgin Mary doesn't serve much of a role in Judaism, if at all. In fact, Jewish tradition states that she was an adulteress who didn't have a virgin birth.
- Being Evil Sucks: Axel and Roxas don't really like being Nazis because they don't like hurting people.
- Dead Fic: The fanfic was ultimately left incomplete after fourteen chapters and then deleted not long afterwards.
- Double Standard: Rape, Male on Male: Averted in that the supposed attempted rapist is hanged, although it isn't quite clear how a starving, fragile and traumatised victim of a concentration camp would even manage to attempt to rape a completely healthy, strong and physically fit SS guard.
- Everyone Can See It: Several other characters remark on how unusually touchy and close Axel and Roxas are.
- Evil Makeover: Christmas trees get one, with the stars on top getting swapped out with swastikas.
- Felony Misdemeanor: Himmler attempting to matchmake Rikku and Axel is treated as some heinous crime.
- Gratuitous German:
- The story only seems to know four or five German words, which leads to "augen" ("eyes") being used as both part of a street name and the name of an Auschwitz guard.
- Axel's surname, von Niemand, literally means "of Nobody".
- Greedy Jew: At one point, Xemnas gives a lecture on how to identify Jews where he mentions that they cheat people on business deals to get rich.
- Hand Wave: How did Roxas make it into the SS despite the fact that he is Jewish? Hitler overlooked his background just because he's the "ideal German". How can Axel be Himmler's son? Himmler has "so many illegitimate children", and he just happens to be one of them.
- Historical AU: The fic transplants Kingdom Hearts characters into Nazi Germany.
- Historical Villain Downgrade:
- Adolf Hitler is basically presented as Mr. Burns. His speeches here are also not the rousing, exciting, theatrical affairs they were in Real Life.
- Likewise, the most Heinrich Himmler does here is try to set Rikku and Axel up as a couple.
- In the Past, Everyone Will Be Famous: Axel's dad is Heinrich Himmler, who is portrayed in similar terms to Gendo Ikari.
- The Matchmaker: At one point, Heinrich Himmler tries to set up Rikku and Axel on dates.
- No Bisexuals: Axel mentions having had crushes on some girls in grade school. Immediately afterward, he states that being in love with another boy automatically makes him gay.
- Not That There's Anything Wrong with That: "The occupants of the house were clearly proud of being Jewish, not that Roxas had a problem with it." (Though being a member of the SS, he probably should have.) He actually has his reasons. Namely, the fact that he is Jewish himself. The lack of a background check when he joined the SS is handwaved by stating that Hitler just liked him that much because of his blond hair and blue eyes.
- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: Averted in that Axel and Roxas go on patrol, visit concentration camps and seem to have active duty as SS members (all while bitching and complaining about how boring it is...)
- Politically Correct History: Roxas and Axel hold modern views on Hitler, the Nazis, and the Holocaust. Likewise, according to this fic, the Holocaust happened "because people don't understand".
- Situational Sexuality: Averted - at one point, a concentration camp prisoner is executed for attempting to rape a guard, and the characters agree that his target being male automatically means he's gay.
- Those Wacky Nazis: Averted for the most part. The Kingdom Hearts characters are nowhere close to being stereotypical Nazis (with the possible exception of Seifer), though this is mostly because of the whole Draco in Leather Pants thing going on with the Organization.
- Transplanted Character Fic: The fanfic basically transplants Kingdom Hearts characters into a World War II-era Nazi Germany during the Holocaust and rewrites them as Nazis.
- Understatement: According to this fic, being gay in Nazi Germany was "looked down upon".
- Useless Protagonist: Axel and Roxas frequently voice their very modern views on the Holocaust and Nazi policy, yet they never do anything with those views nor do they get punished for expressing these views despite discussing them where other people could overhear.
- UST:
- Wham Line: The very first chapter establishes Axel's connections with the Nazis right out of the gate:"He frantically took a shortcut through a side alley and found himself at his destination. After walking through the doors, the redhead found himself face-to-face with Himmler, the head of the SS and Axel’s father."
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Where did Larxene go after she complained about there being too many people to experiment on?
- You No Take Candle: This fic has a lot of grammar mistakes. This line in particular stands out:“Some people came in here and demanded that they saw the Führer. When Kairi said no, they opened fire.” Saix began.
