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If you're one of those folks who think that Third Fang is the Second Coming of Christ when it comes to fanfiction, you'd do well to be on your way; if you love Jasmine Redsmith and think her behavior is completely justified, you may as well click the "Back" button. If you disagree with how he's handling his story "Go Away I'm Watching Porn", but don't want to see my dealing with the bullshit elements of it, either leave or press Ctrl+F and type "concession"; otherwise read and review, and don't pull any punches.
Pre-Chapter 1 Author's Note

I Have No Sympathy For Either of You, by Pyromania101, is a crossover between Fate/stay night and High School D×D... or, to be more specifically, it's a three-shot crossover between Go Away I'm Watching Porn by Third Fang and A Demon Lord's Hero by Fahad09, in which Shirou Emiya from the latter story is abruptly, albeit briefly, transported to the former story by a bored Zelretch. Taking umbrage with the behavior of that story's protagonist and his girlfriend, he decides to straighten them out.

Initially written as a one-shot, it was later changed to a three-shot; then two bonus chapters were added in May 2022, one being a invokedRevised Ending, and the other being a invokedDeleted Scene taking place between chapters 2 and 3.

Another crossover between the two stories was released on New Year's Day 2023, with both Pyromania101 and Third Fang being involved in it. Later that year, Pyro formally admitted to have since "buried the hatchet" with Third Fang and admitted he could have expressed his opinion of GAIWP more professionally.


This fanfic contains examples of (WARNING: UNMARKED SPOILERS AHEAD!!!):

  • Adaptational Badass: Averted. Shirou can't defeat Issei in a straight-up fight, so he cheats.
  • Adaptational Karma: Issei and Jasmine actually get punished for their bullying behavior this time around.
  • All for Nothing: Shirou did not need to destroy Issei's phone, as he is immune to holy things, unlike other devils. He does give Issei money to buy another phone after finding out what he was going to do with it, though.
  • Angst Dissonance: invoked Openly mocked by Shirou, who makes it clear that whatever sympathy he might have had for Issei and Jasmine goes out the window since they're just, as far as he's concerned, lashing out at people who are trying to sincerely help them while wallowing in self-pity over issues that they have no interest in solving.
  • Angst? What Angst?: invoked Shirou is not the least bit rattled at being (temporarily) transported to another world. Even learning he's the protagonist of a well-known franchise doesn't affect him much, since Serafall did that to him in his own story.
  • Big Brother Instinct: When Jasmine uses a sound-based attack that nearly kills the ORC and the Student Council, Shirou gives her a Megaton Punch that nearly kills her.
  • Breather Episode: Chapter 2, "Concession", dials back on the hostility of the previous chapter and gives the characters time to think and develop.
  • Call-Back: We get a few.
    • Shirou bribes Koneko into accepting his presence with yokan. She later steals food off his plate from time to time.
    • Shirou destroys Issei's cell phone by tossing a knife at it, then whips out Rule Breaker and presses it against Issei's crotch—all in roughly a tenth of a second!
    • Shirou's Big Brother Instinct towards Sona causing him to punch someone so hard they nearly die, and so fast that it takes his brain a few seconds to catch up to the actions of his body.
    • Shirou's immunity to holy objects, scriptures, etc. is brought up.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: To punish Serafall for not telling her about Issei and for being tight-lipped about what happened to him, Sona forces her sister to put her TV show on hiatus and help her and her peerage train.
  • Cool Big Sis: Jasmine towards Issei, with a strong hint that she's started taking this stance towards Rias towards the end of Chapter 2.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Knowing that he'd lose pretty badly against Issei in actual combat, Shirou destroys Issei's cell phone, then threatens to castrate him with Rule Breaker before he can bring his power to bear.
  • Corporal Punishment: Shirou bluntly declares that if Issei and Jasmine don't stop behaving like unruly children, they'll get what unruly children deserve: a taste of his belt. He even takes it off and brandishes it at them to emphasize his point. Later, Jasmine spanks Issei for not telling her about the illusory spell that White cast on him.
  • Cruel to Be Kind: Vali sides with Shirou, knowing that his two friends need help that they won't like.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Shirou gathers as much information as he can about Issei and Jasmine before confronting them, which allows him to gain dominance in each confrontation by taking precautions—such as wearing reinforced ear plugs whenever Jasmine is around. He also makes sure to carry an Anti-Magic weapon whenever he is interacting with Issei, which allows him to gain dominance over the Red Dragon Emperor twice.
  • Double Standard: Rape, Female on Female: Averted. When Shirou learns that Jasmine raped Raynare with a sibian just to blow off some steam after being humilated by him, he kicks her in the nose and berates her for it.
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The author isn't subtle about what potential readers will be getting into.
  • Fix Fic: Intended to be one.
  • Foil: Shirou and Issei have a number of things in common, but go about it differently. Both are broken, but Shirou copes with it by trying to be a hero while Issei becomes an introverted recluse; both have a habit of keeping secrets, though Issei does it out of spite while Shirou has good reasons for it; both are known for their harsh training methods, though Issei isn't afraid to use methods that reek of sexual harassment; both have a habit of driving Sona Sitri crazy, though Shirou (usually) does it unintentionally while Issei does it out of spite; and both interact with women whom are total jerks, with Issei having Jasmine while Shirou has Karasuba.
  • Food as Bribe: Shirou convinces Ophis not to get involved by bribing her with homemade chocolate.
  • Food Porn: The breakfast banquet that closes the story is described in detail. The author even lamented that writing it made him hungry.
  • Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: The central theme of the overall story. Issei and Jasmine were undeservedly dealt a bad hand by life in the past, but that does not give them the right to lash out at people who don't even know what happened to them, much less had a role in it.
  • Freudian Threat: Shirou manages to cow Issei by threatening to geld him with Rule Breaker, which could, potentially, temporarily strip him of his powers. Issei tries to call his bluff, but Shirou points out that the pain of castration and the disorientation of—even briefly—losing his powers would leave Issei vulnerable to a follow-up attack, which would be fatal.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Asami insists that Issei is this, and Shirou acknowledges that he may very well be—but he's been the "jerk" part for too long and he needs to dig up the "heart of gold" part before it's too late. He ultimately does.
  • Kick the Bitch: Jasmine acts like a thuggish bully towards everyone but Issei in Chapter 1, and Shirou gives her what she deserves for it, even literally kicking her at one point.
  • I Choose to Stay: In the alternate ending, it looks like the ORC and Raynare are going to abandon Issei after getting thoroughly fed up with him. However, when Rias refuses to (because Issei's Arch-Enemy is gunning for her now, so she needs to be prepared), she inspires the rest of them to stick with him, as well—on the condition that he stops being an ultra-secretive asshole and tells them just what the hell is going on, and that he not subject them to any sexual harassment. He agrees.
  • Lack of Empathy: Shirou viciously labels Issei and Jasmine as possessing this in Chapter 2, which is why they deserve no sympathy from him. Subverted in that his words actually have an effect on them, and they have the decency to feel bad about it.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: Shirou is appalled to learn that neither the 4 Maous nor Asami bothered to prepare any of the parties involved for the events of Go Away! I'm Watching Porn, and he convinces Issei to tell them everything.
  • Manly Tears: Issei sheds a few in "Crying" after Shirou shows him Excalibur.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: While Issei and Jasmine are initially indignant at Shirou's lack of sympathy for their problems, once he emphasizes just how wrong they've been, they feel bad about it and decide to fix their behavior.
  • No Sympathy: It's right up there in the title, and Shirou says it word-for-word. As far as he's concerned, Issei and Jasmine have been using their shitty backstories as a weapon to harm innocent bystanders, which needs to stop now.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
    • In the alternate ending, the normally short-tempered Issei and Jasmine simply stare plaintively at Rias after she tells them point-blank that they aren't owed a damned thing due to their crappy behavior.
    • In the deleted scene, the normally untouchable Issei does not react when Shirou puts a comforting hand on his shoulder after showing him Excalibur.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • A meta-example. "Concession", aside from Shirou's confrontation with Asami, actually does remind the reader that Issei and Jasmine do love each other, and once they are fully made to understand why their actions are wrong, they do make sincere efforts to run damage control. He also says in an author's note at the ends of Chapters 2 and 3, respectively, that he doesn't have a problem with Jasmine's occupationand he respects Third Fang's writing talents, if not his behavior or his handling of the main story.
    • Shirou compensates Issei for destroying his phone during their first confrontation.
  • Retcon: The story was originally a one-shot, with almost exclusive focus on the "Castigation" section. After much thought, the author expanded the other sections and toned down the punishment that Issei and Jasmine went through, while also trying to showcase their respective softer sides towards the end of "Concession".
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
    • Shirou mercilessly tears into Issei and Jasmine for thinking that having an admittedly huge Freudian Excuse gives them carte blanche to take their anger out on innocent (and ignorant) bystanders, while viciously refusing to even try to properly rebuild their lives.
    • In the alternate ending, he viciously castigates Issei for lying to Raynare so he can enslave her, comparing it to the events that traumatized him in the first place. Later, Rias bluntly mocks Issei and Jasmine for their invokedAngst Dissonance, declaring that they are entitled to nothing.
  • Rule of Three: Jasmine gets physically assaulted three times in Chapter 1.
  • Ridiculously Cute Critter: Kanna, Shirou's familiar, is a white dragon cub, and is as cute as a button.
  • Supreme Chef: Shirou, whose cooking skills vastly surpass Issei's.
  • Sweet Tooth: Both versions of Ophis have an addiction to chocolate.
  • There Are No Therapists: Averted. Asami claims that all the shrinks she sent Issei to just pumped him full of drugs. Shirou is skeptical of that, thinking that Issei pushed them to do that (if they even did it at all) on purpose just so he could end the sessions early and go back to wallowing in self-pity.
  • Tsundere: Issei shows himself to be one in the alternate ending. After the ORC and Raynare nearly abandon him, only to change their minds at the last second provided he tells them what's what, he agrees and then rushes to the bathroom, insisting he doesn't see them as friends after Azazel labels them as such. He is then shown splashing cold water on his face, internally acknowledging that he really does care about them and that his obnoxious behavior nearly drove them away, and resolves to be a better man.
  • What the Hell, Hero?:
    • When it's revealed that Jasmine raped Raynare with Issei doing nothing about it, the Occult Research Club and Student Council denounce Issei for his apathy. Rias even calls him a hypocrite for apparently not caring about rape unless he's the victim. They advocate castrating him, but Asami manages to convince them to back down by promising to do it herself if it ever happens again.
    • In the deleted scene, Issei angrily asks where Shirou was when he needed him most. Shirou patiently says he was too young to have done anything, and that he would have done everything in his power to help Issei had he been sent to him at an earlier time by Zelretch.

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