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Fanfic / How Do I Admit I'm Falling Apart

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how do i admit i'm falling apart (called how do i admit i am falling apart on Archive of Our Own) is a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic by king.needlemouse (with cover art by tekina fiction).

The premise of the story is "What if Sonic was transgender?" It's also a Sonic/Amy shipfic.

Sonic realizes that he's become more self-conscious lately but doesn't understand the reason why. He chocks it up to teenage insecurity until he sees news coverage that famous Extreme Gear rider Wade the Swallow now goes by "Wave the Swallow". Everything suddenly clicks in Sonic's head at that moment.


This fic provides examples of:

  • Adaptational Modesty: Used for pragmatic reasons. Sonic wears shorts because he thinks just wearing a binder would be weird.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Sonic is on friendlier terms with Amy than in canon. They're close friends and Amy's crush is mutual.
  • all lowercase letters: The fic's title is written this way.
  • Alternate Universe Fic: Sonic is a trans boy who began transitioning between Sonic CD and Sonic 3.
  • Coming-Out Story: The fic is about Sonic realizing he's trans, coming out as trans, and how it affects his life.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Subverted. Sonic spends the entire fic worrying that he can't be with Amy because she's a lesbian, but she's actually bisexual.
  • Internalized Categorism: Sonic has a lot of self-hatred and dysphoria about being trans, made worse by his crush to Amy (who he thinks is a lesbian who only likes him as a girl).
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  • LGBT Awakening: Seeing the media's reaction to Wave coming out as a trans woman gives Sonic the spark needed to realize his own gender identity.
  • Oh My Gods!: Sonic uses "Chaos" in this manner.
  • Patchwork Fic: It's predominantly game-based but the planet is named "Mobius" like in 1990s western media and Sonic's species is "mobian".
  • Related in the Adaptation: More emphasis is put on Sonic and Tails having a brotherly relationship.
  • Transgender:
    • Wave is a trans woman. Her coming out helps Sonic realize that he's a boy.
    • Sonic is a trans boy.
  • Trans Relationship Troubles: Subverted. Sonic worries about coming out to Amy because she's lesbian and likes him as a girl. However, it turns out his worries were for nothing when Amy reveals that she's actually bisexual, not gay.
  • Trans Tribulations: The main theme of the story is Sonic being a trans boy. He predominantly deals with internalized feelings.

Alternative Title(s): How Do I Admit I Am Falling Apart


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