Fanfic / Hogwarts Houses Divided

"And just to make my point,
here's the most pointed part of my song...
Some of you, I just sent
somewhere you don't belong."

— The Sorting Hat

Hogwarts Houses Divided is a Fanfic by Inverarity (the author of the Alexandra Quick series) that commences years after the Battle of Hogwarts. First years Teddy Lupin, Violet Parkinson, Dewey Diggory and Kai Chang share a carriage on the Hogwarts Express and make a pact to continue to be friends, no matter what Houses they are sorted in.

Naturally, they're all sorted into different houses and the tension between the houses is worse than it's ever been. Fed up with the constant inter-House rivalries, the Sorting Hat declares that that year's Sorting will be the last ever and admits that it deliberately put students in the wrong house.

It can be found here.

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This fanfic provides examples of:

• Adults Are Useless: Averted, even if the kids do save the day.
• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Draco Malfoy was implied to be a Disappeared Dad but it turns out that he really does care about Violet.
  • Kai and Violet. Frequently.
  • Ahmed seems to be a Big Brother Bully to his little sister Aisha initially, but it's clear by the end of the story he does love her and was merely a bit misguided in his attempts to keep her away from people he thought of as a bad influence.
  • Violet finds Pansy's smothering behaviour exasperating, but she really does love her mother, particularly after Luna provides some insight onto her erratic behaviour.
• Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Alduin Dolohov and Moaning Myrtle.
• Annoying Younger Sibling: Kai occasionally goes out of his way to annoy Cho.
• Break the Haughty: Chloe. Assuming that you haven't already done so a hundred times, imagine you're a muggleborn who just found out that you're a witch/wizard. Then imagine that you do something despicable and that everyone (including people in your own house) starts hating you. Imagine that you manage to redeem yourself somewhat by apologising. Then imagine getting stabbed and losing your magic. Damn.
  • Geoffrey Montague spends much of his screen time antagonising people, particularly Teddy, but you have to feel a bit sorry for him when he's expelled thanks to the Zero Tolerance policy for having a picture of his father, a Death Eater.
• Break the Cutie: Poor Mercy takes seeing Alduin's death very hard and Dewey comments he's especially worried about her as she's such a gentle soul.
  • The House elves (with a couple of exceptions) really don't want to be working with the goblins and Golly even begs Teddy (who is disguised as Slipfang at the time) not to make them hurt the children.
• Berserk Button: Don't make werewolf jokes in front of Teddy (his father Remus was one, though he thankfully got his mother's Metamorphmagus powers instead). And for the love of Merlin, don't insult/harm/humiliate Violet in front of him either. Just leave her be.
  • Also, do not insult Cho in front of Kai. It will end badly.
• Brought Down to Normal: Heartbreakingly done with Chloe.
• Beware the Nice Ones: Teddy.
  • The house elves. To quote Teddy..."Who knew house-elves had such a mean streak?"
• Be Yourself: What Harry tells Teddy, as he's concerned Teddy is trying too much to be like him.
• Big Fun: Edgar Hargrave, one of the Muggle-born Hufflepuffs, is introduced like this: Big, enthusiastic, talkative and impossible to get down. His fellow first-years find him slightly tiresome, but he is one of the nicest, friendliest people you'll meet.
• Character Catchphrase: Kai, when fascinated by something, says "Ace!".
• Clingy Jealous Girl: How Chloe starts off.
• Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Luna Lovegood cheers Violet up in a way only Luna Lovegood can.
• Chronic Hero Syndrome: Teddy. He takes after Harry in that respect.
• Chick Magnet: Teddy.

  Teddy: Girls are following me around. Even older girls!

  Neville: How awful.

• Dirty Coward: Chloe. She gets better.
  • Violet thinks this of herself after she runs to get help instead of staying to fight the goblin. The others point out that her actions saved their lives.
• Disappeared Dad: Played with by Draco Malfoy. He definitely loves his daughter, but circumstances make things a bit awkward.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Zero tolerance rules get enacted in the course of the story.
• Defrosting Ice Queen: Violet by the end of the story.
• Deadpan Snarker: Violet is the reigning champ of this trope, though given the story is set in Wizarding Britain, she has a lot of competition.
• Dogged Nice Guy: Gilbert has a big crush on Nagaeena, who finds him a complete idiot, but it doesn't stop him trying to impress her whenever he can.

• Evil Virtues: Played with. Violet goes on a little quest to discover what the Slytherin Virtues are.
• Fantasy Gun Control: Bloodily averted, as goblins point out that Wizards seriously underestimate Muggle inventions and use guns to keep the hostages in line.

• Friend Versus Lover: The main reason Chloe treats Violet the way she does.
• Friendly Address Privileges: Violet gets rather irritated at being called "Vi", but after a while she starts allowing it from her best friends.
  • Teddy notes he can tell whether teachers are angry or have something serious to tell him when they call him "Mr. Lupin" over Teddy.
• Funetik Aksent: Hugh, bordering on unintelligible at times.
• Fun with Acronyms: S.C.O.U.R.G.E. Sorcerers Champion Oppression: Unite for the Restoration of Goblin Equality
• Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Happens to Nagaeena twice, first when she has a meltdown over a Hair Removal Jinx, screaming so loudly that Ophilia slaps her in the face just to shut her up.
  • Stephen then threatens to slap her if she doesn't stop panicking after they manage to escape being held hostage by some goblins. Later on she even calls Stephen "my hero" and gives him a Smooch of Victory.
• Green-Eyed Monster: Chloe, which has rather big consequences.
• Good is Not Nice: The Slytherins, Ophelia in particular.
• Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Since the main cast are first years, it's to be expected they don't swear much, and when characters do swear it's under a Narrative Profanity Filter, such as Teddy calling Chloe something that would "make his grandmother wash his mouth out with scourgify" if she'd heard him say it.
• The Heart: Seems to be a common trait with the Hufflepuffs, particularly as it's Dewey and Mercy's idea to revive the DA.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: Mercy and Sung-Hee are almost always seen together, though this is partly thanks to Mercy needing to help Sung-Hee improve her English, as she's struggling to adapt to life in Hogwarts because of it.
• Hot-Blooded: Teddy.
• I Am Not My Father: Alduin Beauxjour. Actually Alduin Dolohov. He was so terrified of turning out like his parents that he begged the hat to put him in Hufflepuff and keep his true identity a secret.
  • Rodney Bode as well.
• Insufferable Genius: Kai Chang is, to quote Teddy, "a bit of a snot." Violet notes this is a common quality amongst Ravenclaws in general.
• I "Uh" You, Too: Draco and Violet. It makes sense.

  Draco: I would very much like to put my arms around you, unless the embarrassment would kill you.

  Violet: I think I'd live.

• Kissing Cousins: Most people seem to think that Teddy is smitten with Violet.

  "You know what they say about second cousins."

• Killed Off for Real: Alduin Dolohov.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Kai, after Cho gets engaged to a Muggle, becomes the resident "expert" on all things Muggle. His so-called expertise generally turns out to be flawed, or even flat-out wrong.
• Lady Drunk: Pansy.
• The Load: Nagaeena, during the battle, proves utterly useless in a crisis - all the other students manage to contribute in small ways, like Mercy and Sung-Hee keeping up morale, Deana figuring out how to get back to the castle when she and Teddy are stranded in the Forbidden Forest, etc, but Nagaeena is the only firstie who never does anything useful.
• Kick the Dog: Chloe has a pretty major one towards Violet that ends up being the trigger for her Character Development - jealous of the bond between Teddy and Violet, when Teddy comes up with the idea to celebrate her birthday in the Room of Requirement, Chloe sabotages it by telling some older Gryffindor boys about it, so they ambush Violet and tie her to the Slytherin hourglass in the Great Hall upside down, with tape over her mouth (and for added humiliation, everyone can see her underwear because her skirt falls down). Teddy is absolutely furious when he finds out, it puts her on the Slytherin's shit-list for a long time and even her fellow Gryffindors think she sunk really low. Eventually, Chloe does apologise to Violet, who forgives her.
  • Violet has one when she basically dares Stephen to jump off the Astronomy Tower, saying it's just a pathetic bid for attention. Dewey doesn't approve.
  • Geoffrey gets one when he mocks Teddy for being the son of a werewolf. He swiftly regrets this when Teddy promptly beats the shit out of him.
  • Neville gives Teddy a harsh "The Reason You Suck" Speech for daring to object when Mair Llwellyn expels Geoffrey for having a photograph of his father, a Death Eater. He does apologise to Teddy at the end of the story.
• My Beloved Smother: Pansy Parkinson is very protective of Violet, which stems all the way back to when Violet was conceived - Pansy was pregnant with her during the Battle of Hogwarts and was terrified that if she didn't pretend to be a Voldemort supporter, the Carrows would torture her. She wasn't willing to risk her unborn daughter's life for Harry, so she suggested handing him over. In the present day, she's almost hysterical that Violet will get hurt if she keeps hanging out with Teddy and the others.
  • Hermione shows shades of this when speaking with Harry, Ron and the other adults over Christmas, wand at the ready as a toddler Hugo attempts to crawl up the stairs on the offchance he might get hurt.
• Original Flavour
• Pet the Dog: Despite telling Teddy to stop beating himself up over Chloe ending up in hospital, Ophilia seems regretful she wasn't able to stop her trying to help him.
  • Ahmed covers his sister with a blanket when she falls asleep in the common room.
  • Violet's roommates immediately come to her aid after being humiliated by Chloe.
  • When the goblins kidnap the first years to take them as hostages, the Colleen promptly runs to Connor and begs not to be separated from her brother. They decide to allow them to stay together. Later, when underground, Chloe asks if she can straighten Aisha's headscarf, which they let her do.
• Post-Kiss Catatonia: Teddy's reaction to being kissed by Ophelia.
• Redemption Equals Death: Averted by Chloe but at a terrible cost. Played straight with Alduin.
• Replacement Sibling: Dewey Diggory is this for Cedric.
• Took a Level in Badass: Most of the first years but the award goes to Chloe, who went from annoying Bitch in Sheep's Clothing to Little Miss Badass.
  • Stephen White may have her beat.
• Shout-Out: To Labyrinth, by calling Slipfang "the Goblin King"
• The Stoic: Violet. She has a few Not So Stoic moments.
• Slap-Slap-Kiss: Kai and Violet, though they never actually get romantically involved, being only eleven.
• Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Chloe manages to get Teddy to help her with homework or carry her books for a while, until her Kick the Dog moment towards Violet. Part of her Character Development is learning to do things for herself even if she's at a disadvantage.
• Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!: Violet starts Hogwarts a year early mainly because her father is Draco Malfoy. Victoire declares upon hearing this that she doesn't see why she can't start early if someone else can.
• Spoiled Brat: Victoire shows shades of this, being very clingy towards Teddy and when Kai lets slip that Violet started Hogwarts a year early, Victoire says she doesn't see why she can't start early too and Teddy more or less says she's going to raise hell with her parents over it.
• Surprise Party: Teddy staged one for Violet's birthday. Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned...
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: A Purely Theoretical Approach to Understanding the Dark Arts, Which Contains Absolutely No Recommendations or Endorsements for the Practice Thereof
  • Played With, since the book is very likely Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
• Stay in the Kitchen: Kai makes a number of sexist comments that infuriate Violet, though it's not made clear how serious he is when he says them or if he's just messing with her. He does try to insist that she stay back while he and Teddy fight Slipfang, solely on the basis that she's a girl. Violet ignores him.
  • Teddy's not as bad as Kai, but in his internal monologue he mentions it doesn't seem right to him for girls to fight goblins, though he also admits he'd never say it out loud for fear of incurring the wrath of his aunt, grandmother or Violet. In fact, Chloe's the one who does the best job of fighting them off.
• That Came Out Wrong: When Violet calls out how Chloe is relying on Teddy to do her work for her, Teddy counters that it's hard for Chloe to adjust, being muggleborn, so he's helping her try and get used to Hogwarts. Violet then asks if he's trying to imply that since Chloe's a muggleborn, she needs all the help she can and they shouldn't expect much of her. Teddy protests that's not what he meant, but he does take the point and stops helping her as much.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: Stephen White, after being a perpetual Butt-Monkey throughout the story, to the point of wanting to jump off the Astronomy Tower, proves to be one of the most useful Slytherin students during the attack on Hogwarts, gains the respect of his peers and even gets a Smooch of Victory from Nagaeena.
• Token Good Teammate: Tyrus the Foul, who is somewhat willing to listen to a disguised Teddy when he attempts to persuade him to revolt against Slipfang and admits he dislikes Slipfang's extreme methods. Later it turns out Tyrus was the one who lead Chloe, Conner, Colleen and Aisha out of the tunnels.
• Turn the Other Cheek: Violet, when Chloe apologises to her, has a number of forms of revenge she could take - she's in the Room of Requirement, with other first years, having a secret meeting so nobody would be able to grass and everyone agrees Chloe would deserve whatever she decides to do. Violet instead accepts her apology and gives her some ice cream.
• Was Too Hard on Him: Neville apologises to Teddy for his harsh "The Reason You Suck" Speech earlier on in the story, commenting that although he disapproved of Teddy's actions, he should never have compared them to himself, Lupin or Harry.
• Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Averted with the goblins, though a couple of them do express reservations about Slipfang's extreme methods.
• What Measure Is a Non-Human?: The wizarding world's treatment of Elves and Goblins comes back to bite them.
• Yank the Dog's Chain: Just when he seems to have finally won Nagaeena over, Gilbert is crushed to realise that Nagaeena wasn't thanking him - she was talking to Stephen, who was right behind him.
• You Are Better Than You Think You Are: When Chloe laments she "isn't much of a Gryffindor" when the kids have been captured, the Sorting Hat proves her wrong by allowing her to pull the Sword of Gryffindor from it and she performs very well using it.

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