Harry Potter and No One In Particular
is the other sequel to Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash... and is just as bizarre as its predecessors.
Imagine, if you will, an older Harry Potter, middle-aged now, dealing with his job at the Ministry of Magic, his snarky assistant Mavis, his midlife crisis, the ongoing wars, and the death of one Hermione Granger. Now imagine, that Hermione was not actually dead, that an old friend had become the new Dark Lord, that everyone had secrets and plans and secret plans... and how about this mysterious woman whose been plaguing Harry Potter's dreams, the one with a crescent moon scar upon her cheek? Now imagine it was all in the style of a Film Noir as written by David Lynch. That is Harry Potter And No One In Particular.
Unlike previous entries in the canon of computer-written Harry Potter fanfiction, No One in Particular was written mostly with the help of GP2T, rather than Botnik. Co-written and edited by Smashiell, best known for his animated adaptation of Portrait of Ash. Also notable for being, unlike its siblings, almost coherent. Almost.
The playlist can be found here. Updates more-or-less weekly.
Beware! Unmarked spoilers ahead!
"Aunt Petunia was sitting in the kitchen with her son Dudley, watching the television and drinking coffee laced with milk from a cow that had died three days earlier.":
- Aborted Arc
- Addled Addict: Harry is heavily addicted to "magic potions", and the effects of the potions are partly resposible for the Mind Screw-iness of the fic. Eventually, he sobers up and recovers completely.
- Back from the Dead: Voldemort. No one seems to find this odd.
- Came Back Wrong: Hermione is no longer dead, but it's clear that she's not altogether over... whatever it was that happened to her, either. It seems to be the driving force of the plot, if such a thing exists.
- Inverted with Voldemort, who came back as a peace-loving cooking show host who wishes no harm for anyone.
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Defictionalization: Wondered what Ron's "Crazy Whale" hit single was like? Wonder no longer. Now featuring 100% less whales. - Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Voldemort established himself as a pretty successful cooking show host.
- Darker and Edgier: Constrast to Rowling's child novels, this fanfic is a gritty and somewhat vulgar Lynchian Noir. Aside from descriptions of depressive and washed up mood of characters, there are quite a few erotic scenes and the characters are considerably more foul-mouthed as well.
- Face–Heel Turn: Neville Longbottom of all people has become an intimidating (and petty) head of a secret criminal organization (possibly the revived Death Eaters).
- Gender-Blender Name: None of Soma's given names have been feminine.
- Glory Days: Harry calls his office "Hogwarts", suggesting he's never gotten over his days as The Hero. Made all-but-explicit in Chapter 4.
- Great Offscreen War
- Humanity Ensues: Joules was once a Dementor of all things! And he has the scars to prove it.
- Love Dodecahedron: It's not so much a question of who is sleeping together, but a question of who hasn't slept together.
- Meaningful Name / Troll: The two possible interpretations of Soma's "Harry Dursley" introduction.
- My Fist Forgives You: In the second chapter, Ron punches Harry in the face before forgiving him.
- Name and Name: The title, not that it's obvious at first.
- The Reveal: Turns out Draco Malfoy was a muggle-born. And a Test Tube Baby to boot. The Opposite-Sex Clone of Yvette. Yes.
- Seinfeldian Conversation: Harry, Ron, and Soma have a lengthy conversation on the proper mindset to have when drinking real and imaginary tea. It is treated as very serious in the moment, and it may yet prove to be plot-relevant, but it certainly feels like this trope in the moment.
- Shout-Out: In chapter 7, Harry recalls dating a vampire girl with limpid blue eyes.
- Some Call Me "Tim": "Soma Yukihira" is not her actual name, she just thought it was a better way to address her than as "No One In Particular" (and only after Harry refused to believe that she was called "Harry Dursley").
- Split Personality: Soma is implied to have one when she confronts Ron in the music shop.
- Spy Fiction: Lots of hushed conversations, and Harry's boss wants him to infiltrate the (reformed?) Death Eaters. Definitely the "stale beer" flavor.
