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Fanfic / Hail to the King

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King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself. Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.


The story was written by Qwapdo and can be found here. This story has not been updated since 2014, and Qwapdo has not been on the site since 2015, so this is a Dead Fic.

Hail to the King provides examples of:

  • Call-Back: Sombra displaces Not!Sombra from going to heaven but then stops at the top of the stairs to heaven. Not!Sombra later feels elated when climbing a set of stairs, ecstatic over the feeling of being higher.
  • Cassandra Truth: Cadence doesn't believe Not!Sombra when he claims to be a human being, which to her is one very developed fantasy. She doesn't even believe the lie detecting stone which confirms this.
  • Companion Cube: Not!Sombra becomes rather fond of the lie detector stone.
  • Digging Yourself Deeper: Not!Sombra already is on poor terms with the royal family but it just gets worse when during his ramblings about why he must be in a coma, he calls Celestia fat.
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  • Fantastic Racism: Subverted when Not!Sombra talks about how "Earth ponies" are just mindless animals. He means ponies from the planet Earth, but everypony else think's he's talking about the Equestrian tribe.
  • Fingerless Hands: Not!Sombra asks the ponies how they can use eating utensils without fingers, then notices a fork is sticking to his hoof.
  • Fish out of Temporal Water: The story focuses on the problems that a civilization that has been dormant for a millenium would face, namely outdated agriculture, insufficient infrastructure, industries that are not in demand in present times, and a group of advisers who in spite of the best intentions have no understanding of modern ideals and are thus useless. Also many crystal ponies immigrate to see the new world or seek new economic opportunities. The Crystal Empire is largely dependent on foreign aid, the workload of modernizing it puts an enormous strain on Cadence, which is not helped by the appearance of what looks like King Sombra.
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  • Friend to All Children: Not!Sombra eagerly plays along and pretends to be vanquished when one foal throws a ball at him.
  • Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: In a funny scene, Not!Sombra notices that while he has a spiffy cape and armor, he doesn't have pants.
  • How Do I Shot Web?: It is a lot easier for Not!Sombra to use magic for destructive purposes than peaceful ones. It is also easier to control his magic when he gives in to anger, frustration, and hate.
  • Humble Goal: Not!Sombra flees from the Royal Guards through the entire town and turns into a "walking apocalypse" just to fix someone's house.
  • I Gave My Word: Not!Sombra goes through hell to fix a Crystal Pony's house because he promised to.
  • Incoming Ham: Luna, of course.
    Luna: Wretched knave, thy time is at hoof!
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: The Crystal Ponies are still suffering from this in regards to remembering King Sombra. Later the Princesses conclude that King Sombra lost his memories due to the Crystal Heart.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: Subverted. At first, Not!Sombra barely reacts to having stabbed himself in the fetlock. But then the pain sets in and he runs around screaming.
  • Mass "Oh, Crap!": The reaction of the Crystal Ponies when Not!Sombra wonders into town. Later, they attempt to destroy him for good with the Crystal Heart, but...
    Not!Sombra: Their looks of unimaginable horror was something I never wanted to see again. The crystal ponies had a shell-shocked expression about them, as if their worst nightmares were coming true right before their eyes. Some of started tearing up and many embraced each other fearfully, not knowing what else to do.
  • Mistaken for Racist: Not!Sombra thinks Earth ponies are mindless animals. He was talking about literal ponies from planet Earth, but Cadence and Shining Armor think he means Earth Ponies from Equestria, and just take him for a racist evil dictator.
  • Mood Dissonance: The first chapter from Cadence's and Shining Armor's perspective makes them seem like heroic defenders of their country from an evil tyrant who has returned, and focuses on the despair. They don't realize they are fighting a confused man who was reborn in the wrong body who wonders why every creature is afraid of him and this white stallion wants to kill him. Played for Laughs.
  • Nice Guy: Not!Sombra was apparently one since he was going to go to heaven. Poor guy had to end up in the body of a tyrant.
  • "No. Just... No" Reaction: Cadence does this when Not!Sombra asks her if she is his daughter.
  • No-Sell: The Crystal Heart does nothing to Not!Sombra but make him feel joy. The Crystal Ponies are not pleased.
  • Oh, Crap!: Not!Sombra when he thinks he is going to die. More seriously, when he realizes that he not dreaming and that he is in a magical pony world.
  • Rapunzel Hair: Not!Sombra asks Princess Celestia why her mane is perpetually flowing in nonexistent wind. She demonstrates that if she doesn't create that effect, her mane will touch the floor.
  • Redemption Quest: Not!Sombra comes to believe that his reincarnation was done so he could redeem the character of King Sombra.
  • Required Secondary Powers: Not!Sombra points out that an Alicorn's wings are not large enough to support its body. Princess Celestia explains that their magic allows them to fly.
  • That Was Not a Dream: Not!Sombra thinks he is in some fantasy dream world. He only realizes this is not the case when he stabs himself in the fetlock.
  • This Cannot Be!: Luna freaks out when she realizes Not!Sombra has gained a cutie mark.
  • Unskilled, but Strong: Not!Sombra has the raw power of King Sombra but lacks experience in using it properly. This causes him problems multiple times: He tries to erase the wall of crystal he created, thinking it is what is scaring the crystal ponies, only to blow it up and rain large crystals on the city. Later, he finds himself outmatched by Shining Armor, who is able to subdue him easily. Finally when he tries to escape, he can easily break down prison walls and the collar on his body, but not Shining and Cadence's shield.
  • You Monster!: Not!Sombra calls Cadence evil for eagerly plotting his death.