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Fanfic / Group of Weirdos

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"Yeah, saying things out loud tends to show you how ridiculous they are. For instance, our group of idiots and monsters are going to take down the lord of all evil and his armies of undead and powerful minions all by ourselves with the help of several seemingly amnesiac sages and a Ninja. To do so we must gather several medallions that serve no purpose other than to fill up the quest log to show what we've done so far and ransack ancient temples for new gear. We recruit the minions that we have defeated, proving that their power is inferior to our own, and yet bring them along anyway. When I say all that out loud, I know that we're a group of weirdos."
Gohma summing up the entire premise

Group of Weirdos is a comedy fan-fiction by Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs, about The Legend of Zelda series. It is a retelling in which Link is an idiot, but the main attraction and source of the name is that each of the defeated bosses joins his entourage over the adventure, each with their own personalities and... flaws. There are currently two completed stories in the series, Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, and a third one, based on Twilight Princess, is in progress here.

The last update was in 2013, making this a Dead Fic.

Group of Wierdos provides examples of:

  • Anti-Hero: Twilight Link, after a few chapters of insisting that he is not the Hero, is explicitly called an Anti-Hero.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: During the final battle with Majora, the different things Majora's Wrath does to the Ocarina of Time bosses: He roundhouse kicks King Dodongo into a wall, tears Phantom Ganon's head off and throws it down Volvagia's throat, slashes Gohma's eye, dropkicks Twinrova and uses her as a meatshield against Bongo-Bongo before freezing him, whips Barinade down to a bleeding pile of body parts...and kicks Morpha.
  • Art Evolution: Mr. Light Chicken Bulb's skills have been improving as the fic goes on. The early chapters contain quite a few errors and are less imaginative, but the later ones are amazing, aside from the constant misuse of "passed" as "past". He's now rewritten part of the first story, so after a while the quality drops for a while.
  • Berserk Button: Harming Barinade's Megaton Hammer, depriving King Dodongo of money or calling him "Kingy", and calling Bongo Bongo ugly. Just about anything can set off Zelda, too.
  • Book Ends: For both the Ocarina of Time story and both stories combined.
    • Near the beginning of Ocarina of Time, Link has a conversation with Kaepora Gaebora that ends with "What?" "You heard me." The series ends in exactly the same way, minus the explanation, which is different.
      • The "You heard me" also counts as a bookend for the entire series, as Link yells it right before dealing the final blow to Majora.
      • At the end of Majora's Mask, Link tries to reverse it and pull the whole explain-the-whole-plot-of-the-next-story-then-respond-to-"What?"-with-"You heard me." on Kae Gae, but Kae Gae is the master of that and heard every word.
    • Also near the beginning of Ocarina of Time, Link argues with Kaepora Gaebora over what to call him, eventually settling on Kae Gae. In the near-final part of Majora's Mask, Ganondorf has a very similar argument...except it ends with the following conversation:
      Ganondorf: "I'm going to call you Kae Gae."
      Ganondorf: "Patrick sounds nice." *dodges Kaepora's talon* "Now that was just rude."
  • Characterization Marches On: Most of the bosses start out somewhat flat, but develop parts of their personality over time, often via interaction with Link, the other bosses, and the enviroment. Barinade in particular went from fairly generic to one of the most popular characters in the story. As the early chapters have been rewritten, in many cases they've been retconned to always have been their modern characterizations.
  • Companion Cube: Don't try to take Barinade's Megaton Hammer. Just... don't.
  • Cursed with Awesome: Morpha is "sued" by Poseidon for claiming himself to be God of the Seas, and his punishment is being transformed into an eyeball, and allowed to create a body for himself of whatever he wants and living for a thousand years, at the cost of his hydrokinesis. He ends up becoming Morpheel.
  • Death by Materialism: King Dodongo stays behind in Ganon's collapsing lair to retrieve a golden statue that fell nearby. In a subversion, he pops out unharmed by the rubble and with the statue.
  • Defeat Means Friendship: Each boss that Link defeats joins him on the adventure, no matter how cumbersome they would hamper it or how illogical it would be. Lampshaded with Ganondorf in the sequel, as Link is aghast at seeing the Final Boss of Ocarina of Time appear in Termina after he was presumably killed in that final battle.
    • Averted with Gyorg, who still calls allegiance to Majora and tries to defy this trope, yet the rest of the bosses drag him off on the adventure per tradition.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "Stop hurting me! It hurts so much when you do!"
  • Dumbass Has a Point: Despite being overly stupid, Link will sometimes either have a smart moment (sometimes accidental, sometimes deliberate) or make an amazingly specific guess as to what happens next.
  • The Dragalong: Morpha, and to a much greater extent Gyorg, who never actually Heel Face Turned and is literally being dragged along against his will.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: The humor in the first few parts of the first fanfic was quite different from what would be displayed later. Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs has since rewritten the early chapters specifically to avert this trope and make the quality more consistent.
  • Fastball Special: Literally, much to Morpha's chagrin. Barinade even refers to Morpha as his "secondary weapon" toward the end of Majora's Mask.
  • Freudian Slip: "Hookshot" is frequently spelled as "hookshit". According to the author, this is not accidental.
  • Fusion Dance: Link, Navi, Gohma, and Phantom Ganon become Phantom Lavima due to a Teleporter Accident as a one-off joke. They get better a few seconds later.
    • As in the original material, Twinrova is this between Koume and Kotake.
  • Guest-Star Party Member: During Twilight Princess, the bosses from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask except Morpha/Morpheel, who are the same being come and go and generally only join Link's party for one dungeon rather than join permanently. Justified since otherwise the author would have an impossible time fitting in all those characters. Sometimes we see what they're up to away from the group as well.
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: Koume and Kotake start as an enemy, then seemingly join up with the heroes for no reason. Then it turns out they were trying to trick Link into a trap Ganon had set. Then they decide that they don't like Ganon's attitude and that they should punish him.
  • Heroic BSoD: Twilight Princess Link falls into one when he realizes that the Mirror of Twilight is broken and his quest is far from over.
    • Ganondorf simply shuts down after a time paradox causes him to have four mothers instead of two.
  • Idiot Hero: The Ocarina incarnation of Link is one.
  • Implacable Man: The Iron Knuckles are completely unstoppable, even by Ganon. The only surefire weapon is Deku Sticks.
    • Also, nothing will stop the Postman from making his deliveries. He even gets Boss Subtitles when he attacks Link for being in the way.
    • The Unkillable Tektite survives being eaten by Gohma! Subverted when Volvagia seems to get rid of it for good.
    • Yet another, the Gerudo guards. Link tears the heart out of one and she still gets back up.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Ocarina Link concluding that blue flames will melt red ice to form a purple liquid. He actually turns out to be half-right; it forms a green liquid.
  • Invisible Anatomy: Gohma has no mouth, but can still talk, eat, and even perform mouth-to-mouth resusication. Ocarina Link is determined to figure out how she does all this.
  • Kill It with Fire: Fire causes Gyorg to shrink down to about the size of a large dog.
  • Mr. Vice Guy: As mentioned above, King Dodongo is greedy and a relentless businessman. When money isn't involved, however, he's surprisingly nice... relative to the others, anyway.
  • Mundane Made Awesome:
    • Volvagia getting into an 'epic' fight with an Ice Keese.
    • On the same note, Ocarina Link's epic struggle with a floating tile in the Fire Temple.
  • Mundane Utility: Ocarina Link uses the Master Sword to open up locks that they can't find the key for. He breaks the Master Sword on one occasion, and his regular sword several times in Majora's Mask.
  • Non Sequitur, *Thud*: Odolwa gets a good one.
    Odolwa: "Three little maids from school are we, pert as a school girl well can be, filled to the brim with girlish glee..."
  • Noodle Incident: Whatever happened to Navi's previous companion Doug in the Lost Woods.
  • Only Sane Man:
    • Phantom Ganon tends to be this.
    • Twilight Princess Link as well. Right behind him is Stallord - at least when compared to the other bosses, since his only real quirk appears to be his Ax-Crazy tendencies.
  • Out with a Bang: Female fairies, as a rule, rip their partners to shreds during mating season.
  • Psycho Lesbian: Due to Navi taking the Zora's Sapphire instead of Link, Ruto is bent on finding and marrying Navi regardless of how Navi feels about it.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: While neither of them are exactly stable, the blue Twinmold is a bit more rational than his red counterpart.
    • Ocarina Link is red to Navi and Tatl's blue. Midna is red to Twilight Princess Link's blue.
    • In Twilight Princess, Diababa and Stallord seemed to have formed this kind of duo, being red and blue respectively.
  • Retcon: The early chapters of Ocarina have been rewritten significantly, though plot points haven't been changed much and it's mainly updating the humor to the more matured and clever quality seen later.
  • Running Gag: Quite a few. One notable one is that whenever Ocarina Link tries to use his ocarina, he plays the Bolero of Fire. This occurs before he even learns the song, once.
    • This even extends into the climax of Majora's Mask, and later he howls it as the Golden Wolf in Twilight Princess.
    • Before Link gets the Ocarina of Time, he'll insult the Fairy Ocarina and get hit by something Saria catapults.
    • When Zelda/Sheik gets mad and yells at Link, everyone will be described as being silent, including characters not even in OOT.
      "Link was silent. Navi was silent. Tatl was silent. Argorok was silent. Davy Jones was silent."
    • Subverted on one occasion:
      "Kalle Demos was VERY LOUD!"
    • Ocarina Link Comically Missing the Point, such as when he reaches Ganon's Castle in the future. Instead of noticing the lava moat and the giant castle floating over it, he sees that a rock has moved and is therefore evil.
    • Characters (usually Gohma) knocking Ocarina Link out. Sometimes he even knocks himself out.
    • Strategy guides will usually be pulled out or referenced when asked where to go, usually by Navi.
    • In Ocarina of Time, people telling Link the entire plot of the game. When he asks what they just said they'll reply with 'You heard me'.
    • Twilight Princess Link figures out how to accomplish a task or is forced to do something, only for it to end with him yelling "THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!"
  • Sequence Break: Ocarina Link insists on going to the Spirit Temple ahead of time, and turns back when he can't complete it.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: A couple of characters do this.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone:
    • After being the Butt-Monkey since his first appearance, Morpha finally gets a break: After Majora's Mask, he is Cursed with Awesome and turned into...well, whatever he wants, apparently, and will live for at least a thousand years. He can't control water anymore though, but he doesn't care.
    • He also gets another break as Morpheel, getting to take out Stallord pretty much all by himself.
  • Title Drop: In one early part of Ocarina of Time.
    Ruto: "Who are you?"
    Link: "A group of weirdos." *Gohma hits him over the head and knocks him out.*
  • Too Dumb to Live: Ocarina Link, naturally. He walks through a fire trap rather than deactivate it, holds bombs until they blow up, and gets his head stuck in a bottle.
  • The Unfought: Subverted; King Dodongo joined up with them without any sort of fight, but later on battled them anyway when they tried to take some of his money to pay for the Biggoron's Sword. They even "fell into his old office" when the fight began, and he got his own Boss Subtitles.
  • Verbal Tic: THE GREAT BARINADE cannot use the pronoun "I" without adding ", BARINADE," to it.
  • Viewer Gender Confusion: In-universe. Ocarina Link is genuinely unaware if Queen Gohma is male or female.
    • Subverted near the end of Majora's Mask where he figures it out.
  • Villains Out Shopping: When Ocarina Link's group first goes to Lon Lon Ranch, they find Ganondorf there... ordering a cheeseburger from its restaurant.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Odolwa and Gyorg seem to form an exaggerated Type 2 relationship after the events of Majora's Mask, as they are seen travelling together in Twilight Princess but still appear to hate each other.
  • We ARE Struggling Together: While Link likes all the bosses, they all hate him and mostly hate each other (There are a few sincere friendships in there, such as Phantom Ganon and Bongo Bongo). Inverted in Twilight Princess, however, where all the bosses seem oddly fond of each other and of Link, who would rather have nothing to do with any of them.
  • Welcome to Corneria: In the Ocarina of Time part, when Link and Navi are trying to locate Gohma after the 7 year gap, they attempt to ask the Kakariko people where she is. One man repeats his banter about the spider house when asked by Link. Navi isn't going to listen any further.
  • What Could Have Been:
    • The author actually adds a section with this exact trope as its title near the end of Majora's Mask, stating ideas that were cut, such as:
    • Goht was originally going to fix the problems in the mountains.
    • Bongo Bongo would have a conversation with Kaepora Gaebora reminding us that he is still pretty damn evil.
    • Some, if not all, of the bosses from Ocarina of Time would be killed off, including Morpha drowning... somehow.
  • What Does This Button Do?: While trying to open the Gerudo Fortress gates, Ocarina Link finds a panel absolutely filled with buttons and levers. He randomly presses one button, opening the gate on the first try. He then stupidly presses every single other button and pulls every single lever. This launches missiles, electrocutes guards, and turns the fortress into a giant robot.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?:
    • Odolwa is afraid of ghosts, making bringing him through Ikana very difficult. It only delays his item announcement, however. No force can stop that.
    • Subverted with Bongo-Bongo's tendency to avoid Gyorg, leading people to believe he's afraid of fish. He's actually just allergic.