A human finds himself in Equestria under very unpleasant circumstances with no explanation. His reaction: get the heck out of Dodge and start a new life where Equestria and her ponies can't reach him. But an alicorn's reach is long and the events which brought him here and his treatment in Canterlot are not so easily forgotten by those who did it. How does one say 'go away' to an immortal goddess?
Written by Dans Comments this story is presently completed and can be found here. A sequel, Drawn With The Night Into The Day has been released and has been completed. Tropes for that story go on this page.
- Accusation Fic: To an extent. Celestia's lack of apology to Twilight for the Canterlot Wedding incident is discussed. The Word of God believes that it was due to Twilight being of a lower class than Celestia that she received no apology from her and only Applejack, and writes this as the reason for Twilight and Luna's half-assed attempt to make it up to Klein.
- Affably Evil: Klein describes the ruler of Multicursal as a crook who would fit into Chicago politics well, but he keeps people in line as long as they obey the rules and give the occasional bribe. He also says that while he's a good guy and makes amazing cakes, if someone had tried the whole "Charity Figurine" thing (utterly failing to deliver and wasting everyone's time and money- for charity), they and their family would have been dragged from their home at night and given a stern lecture, as well as possibly a beating.
- Berserk Button: Fancy, having nearly had Dipper taken away from her by her family, hates privileged individuals who ruin lives and try to justify themselves without any remorse. This puts her at odds with the Princesses for what they did to Klein.
"Even in modern times, there are other ways to volunteer for concussive dentistry, but few as sure."
- Apparently to minotaurs, telling someone that their close friend and confidant is worthless... well...
- Beware the Silly Ones: Discord is in his post reformation Troll mode, but don't try to make his blood boil. Luna learns this the hard way.
- Break the Haughty: Fancy's father, when she receives a much higher aristocratic title from Celestia. He soon passes out on the floor, with his wife fanning him.
- Cassandra Truth: Twilight's friends don't believe Discord when he says how Klein's meeting with her had gone badly. It also really didn't help that while he was telling the truth, the way it was phrased implies that there was more going on.
- The Chessmaster: Celestia, as usual. Her machinations... help Fancy in a lot of ways, but she cannot resist adding or twisting things for her own amusement. Fancy is grateful, as one of the results is that her filly is safer, but she still resents being toyed with and made another player in Celestia's games to entertain herself.
- Blueblood has shades of this, and, curiously enough, is much more ethical at it than Celestia.
- Exact Words: From Klein, about his children, to a member of the Equestrian Embassy: "I don't care what the Princesses hear about them being Alicorns, they cannot visit, period." After the functionary passed out, he added that he never said that they were alicorns (they aren't- they're a unicorn colt and filly and a pegasus filly). Discord takes pleasure in trolling Luna with this, before revealing the real species of Klein's kids to Celestia.
- Fantastic Racism: Apparently this was prolific in older times, with non-ponies required to do the elaborate bow that Klein does. Klein gets this from Twilight who finds his ideas weird. Minotaurs and griffins don't hold many prejudices as long as you put in a good day's work, which is how Klein is able to reach Multicursal.
- Klein averts this, hiring Fancy for his fledgling toy company when a person with his bad first experience with ponies wouldn't be blamed for slamming the door in her face.
- Good Cop/Bad Cop: Twilight Sparkle and Upper Crust try this on Klein at the start. Unfortunately, one is Twilight Sparkle (who's out for blood because a human suicide bomber tried killing Celestia), and Upper Crust is a sadist, so it turns more into "Bad Cop, somehow even worse Cop." Then Princess "No Social Skills" Luna joins in the fun as "Worst Cop."
- Guile Hero: Klein is able to get his way by learning about the various traditions and ethics among the various species in the world of Equestria, allowing him to run his company staffed with minotaurs smoothly, negotiate with dragons, and in his avoidance of the princesses.
- Humanity Ensues: A special ring from Discord turns Fancy human so Klein can get closer to her, and as of chapter three of "Into The Day," she's pregnant with triplets. She gives birth in chapter four- all ponies, though.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: Celestia, underneath her regal exterior, eagerly desires to have friends, rather than ponies who treat her like a goddess. She is downcast when Klein, a smart and resourceful individual, wants nothing to do with her, and treats her with all the fear and reverence one would expect to be given to a Physical God. The Tears of Remorse start to flow when Fancy claims to be doing work for "Celestia", and not the "Princess".
- Karma Houdini: Aside from guilt and being needled by Fancy, Twilight, Luna, and Upper Crust don't face any repercussions for kidnapping, mistreating, and nearly poisoning Klein, and make no attempt at an apology.
- Subverted in The Conjugation when Discord gives Luna a nightmare of being on the moon for continuing to mess with Klein's dreams.
- This is actually one of the themes of the fic- how do you make creatures who can get away with anything leave you alone?
- The Equestrian Counsul tries to bully Klein into coming back to Equestria, but he calls the cops on her. Somewhat of an aversion, as the way the town works, if the Counsul had tried to push the issue further, "Things" might have happened to her in a back alley (if you catch the drift), but nothing further happens to the Counsul.
- Luna gets at least part of this revoked when Celestia refuses to fully lift Discord's curse as punishment for breaking their promise to leave Klein alone. Said curse is that every time she tries to visit Klein's dreams (which cause him large amounts of mental anguish as well as rapidly eroding his sanity), she gets trapped in her dreams on the moon for a thousand years.
- As of chapter four, Twilight is beginning to have her status eroded away as well, as both Rarity and Applejack both indicate that they wish to talk to her about certain things they learned while in Multicursal.
- Land of One City: Multicursal
- Loophole Abuse: Luna claims that arranged marriages are illegal in Equestria, to which Fancy replies that, while yes, this is illegal, there's nothing on the books about threatening or bribing prospective suitors of a family member to go away, or to "Get rid of" an "Inconvenient" foal if it makes the family look bad.
- Mama Bear: Fancy for Dipper, especially since her family tried to snatch her away for being the offspring of a commoner.
- Mind Rape: Luna's invasion of Klein's mind and putting dreams into his head damaged his psyche, leaving him with terrible nightmares. Luna's continued intrusion has also caused him to be afraid of Fancy and Dipper. Discord returns the favor by making her dream being stuck on the moon for 1000 years.
- Discord and Klein discuss how if Luna can enter dreams, it would be very easy for her to go into people's dreams, steal information, or influence actions.
- Fancy manages to turn this back on Luna, who was trying to spy on Fancy's dreams to try to find out how to make it up to Klein (or determine if he was a threat). To do so, she eats and drinks foods that will give her very messed up dreams, and is satisfied when Luna looks worse for wear from the encounters.
- Multiple-Choice Past: Not from Klein himself, but many wonder why someone like Klein would refuse a royal commission with Princess Celestia's signature, and then publicly refuse any kind of relation to the royal family. Some ponies speculate that Klein, Twilight, and Luna were once lovers, something Fancy uses to prod them.
- No Social Skills: Luna, Twilight, and even Celestia are pretty slow to pick up on the fact that Klein is very distrustful (or more like terrified) of them, and make no attempt to apologize , and Twilight even gushes over how much they could learn from each other.
- Only Sane Man: Of the Princesses, Cadence isn't a Chessmaster like Celestia (who can't help but stick her nose into things), be downright worshipful of Celestia and Luna, or is aggressive towards threats like Luna is. She's also the only one who figures out what Fancy was doing when she was subtly calling the other Princesses out, and calls her out on it.
- OOC Is Serious Business: Twilight knows she is in serious trouble with Applejack when she calls her "Your Highness."
- Papa Wolf: Discord, amazingly, to Dipper after babysitting her. When Luna continues to intrude on Klein's dreams, the effects on Klein's mind scare Dipper enough to ask him to make her stop. He responds by giving Luna a terrible nightmare of being on the moon for a thousand years.
- Passive-Aggressive Kombat: Fancy engages this repeatedly with Twilight and Luna in defense of Klein, for having been initially refused a royal commission- a failed attempt by Twilight to lure Klein back to Equestria- and not getting apology for it, and in response to Twilight's Innocently Insensitive comments, by "innocently" mentioning the theories surrounding him, and discussing his fear of the royal family. Cadence calls her out for it, saying that not letting people control you and not lashing out is the best way to get to them.
- His avoidance of the Princesses at the toy fair takes this to another level- using nothing but his wits, he manages to avoid the Princesses until the final day, by doing things like taking the side entrance to the building (knowing the Princesses would be near the front entrance, and thus, be held up by the press) or dining exclusively in a Griffin-specific area of the cafeteria (the smell of cooked meat being unpleasant to ponies).
- Politeness Judo: When Klein is forced to go before the princesses at the toy fair, he knows angrily calling them out for how they treated him would give them an excuse to either drag him back to Equestria at best, or silence him at worst, and engages in an elaborate show of reverence, citing a long forgotten code of conduct, and then politely, but firmly, refuses their explanations and telling them to stay out of his life, all while maintaining a sycophantic attitude. The bow mortifies the princesses, and the cold shoulder proves to have more impact on them than any angry display would.
- Poor Communication Kills: The ponies make no effort to communicate with Klein after he was poisoned, allowing him to escape and also not revealing that a human suicide bomber nearly killed Celestia. Similarly, Klein engages in standard interrogation behavior, only speaking when asked a question, not revealing things like the food he was given (various plants) could poison him.
- To the Princesses and the nobles, "Apology" means "Explain why they did what they did and why they thought they were right at the time and then asking for forgiveness." To Klein and many others, it means "Saying you're sorry, because we don't care that you thought you were doing the right thing, we only care that we were the ones hurt by your actions."
- Punny Name: Klein Bottle.
- "Reason You Suck" Speech: When Celestia learns about Luna's continued assault on Klein's mind, she rips into her about violating her trust, continuing to assault someone she wronged in an area she can remain hidden and where he can't protect himself, and for doing it all in her name. By the end, Luna is left a quivering, crying, mess.Celestia: My dear sister, it must have been terrible, wondering what I'd do when I found out you'd lied to me. I do wonder, what else have you lied to me about? How much of my trust have you betrayed?
Luna: Nothing, Celestia.
Celestia: But is that true, or just another lie? We did a man a terrible injustice. And when we hemmed in on all sides he who had offered us no threat, he prostrated himself before us and asked simply to be let alone. No threat to expose us, no cry for revenge, just the succor of time and distance to let him heal among his new friends and family. A boon we granted, I granted, and thought you had too. Was not his abject humiliation and acknowledged helplessness before us sufficient for you? Now, how many of your decisions do I have to review to see if you've kept your word to our subjects?
Luna : Please Celestia.
Celestia: No, your Highness, our ponies come first. I love my sister. I had hoped she would understand my disapproval and seek to correct her mistake. But if the Lunar Diarch cannot keep her word, then all we have done is suspect. Our ponies have to trust us, or we cannot help them.
Luna: He's dangerous!
Celestia: To whom? A maker of toys and a family man? To your image that you can do no wrong? To some desire to revenge yourself on one who wounded me? If revenge was to be extracted, it was my right and not yours! How DARE you attack an innocent in my name! You think I am so weak that I cannot defend myself and my own good name? Then what of your courage? Striking where he cannot hope to strike back, and keeping the excuse of 'I was doing it for Celestia' to deflect any blame! If he is such a threat, have the decency to face him yourself and offer a swift death. To drag it out over weeks and months is sadism, not security. Have the decency to let his family see the blood on your hooves and not make them think his growing madness is their failing. And you dare complain when someone turns the tables on you. Discord did nothing you have not already done. Be glad he withheld his hand further. Or perhaps he was crueler than I surmise. He left you alone with naught but yourself. A more conniving cellmate I could not imagine. Even an alien who stank of death and terror could not be as foul. In that cell, I had no fear of a knife in the belly in the dead of the night. Be cautious my sister, else she will slip a blade between your ribs and claim it was for my greater glory.
- Towards the end of "Drawn With The Night," Klein basically tells the princess (using a black belt in Politeness Judo) that he doesn't like them, he doesn't want them around, and that he will never take any aid from them without looking for "The hidden hook," further stating that their refusal to leave him alone and inability to comprehend that he doesn't care that they're sorry have driven him to try and tell them that to their faces, just so he can have some peace and quiet.
- Relationship Upgrade: Fancy grows from Klein's business partner, to his devoted friend, and finally his lover with Discord's help. As of chapter 4, she's also the mother of his three children. With three more coming in the epilogue.
- Rich Bitch: Upper Crust who not only would be willing to kidnap Dipper from Fancy to curry her family's favor but also cruelly interrogated Klein.
- Self-Made Man: Klein makes a fortune with an airship repair business, and later starts a toy company, making Slinkies and Frisbees.
- Tears of Remorse: Celestia herself cries over what was done to Klein in her name, and from Fancy's fatalistic view on how figures in authority or of privilege never face up to the consequences. Fancy hugs her.
- Too Dumb to Live: Klein is insulted by how easily he was able to escape from the castle, pointing out that his escape attempt (hiding in a pile of dirty laundry) wouldn't have lasted a minute back home.
- Took a Level in Jerkass. Twilight and Luna. But it is explained (but not excused) by the fact that a human terrorist detonated a bomb and severely injured Celestia, driving Twilight to kidnap Klein and harshly interrogate him alongside Luna and Upper Crust. Word of God says this is attitude is not out of character, since it is canon for Twilight to let go of her morality and do thoughtless things when Celestia is concerned.
- Troll: Discord is the undisputed master of this, appearing more like the Coyote in old stories- a trickster spirit who shows people how foolish they are acting, but ultimately benevolent. Fancy and Klein get in on the action as well, but understandably, they can't really compete with the level of Trollishness of a being who can make chocolate rain clouds.
- White Sheep: Fancy abandons the noble pretensions her family gave her after fighting to keep Dipper and working alongside Klein.
- Xanatos Speed Chess: Klein receives a Royal commission in Celestia's name, actually sent by Twilight to get him to return to Eqeuestria and listen to her explanation, and he instead sends his representative (Fancy), with the bonus that she would be able to return triumphantly to Canterlot and rub her success in the noses of her family; Fancy is rejected, saying that only Klein would do, which didn't surprise Klein, and thus he ignores the commission for having insulted his partner (a cultural no-no for minotaurs and griffins). What does Twilight do? Try to get the Councillor to push Klein, only for Klein to convince him that Equestria has been less-than-honest and their actions might not be in the city's bests interests. And then there is the Politeness Judo show at the toy fair.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: At Klein's later interrogations, Twilight and "Green" Upper Crust act less hostile to him. He thinks that it's because since he has no more useful information, and they are getting ready to tie up a loose end. It's confirmed to him when Luna forces him to eat poisoned plants. Subverted, since Klein survives, Twilight and Green had no knowledge of the plants being poison, and their changing demeanor was them realizing that they detained and abused a man who was innocent of injuring Princess Celestia.
- Zeppelins from Another World: Klein's first job after escaping Canterlot was fixing these, as Minotaurs are much larger and don't climb as well, and while the Griffins can fly and have the manual dexterity to do the repair work, they have really sharp claws, which don't exactly work well when working on the outside of a giant bag of floating gasses.