Diddy Kong Racing 5000 is a fanfic featuring characters from Nintendo and Rareware games participating in the races of Diddy Kong Racing.
The story starts with an unexpected meeting involving the Diddy Kong Racers, where Taj announces the first annual Diddy Kong Racing 5000. The racers then prepare for the race, and through some strange circumstances (including a botched money delivery that gets the Super Smash Bros. involved), others get involved in the race as well. The stage is set for mayhem like you've never seen before.
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This fanfic contains examples of:
- Alas, Poor Villain: Trevelyan gets this treatment, particularly when his former ally James Bond talks of him after his death.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
- Nobody says a thing when Taj enlists the Diddy Kong Racers in the DKR5K, Bumper seems pleased the DKR bosses will participate as well, and everyone is shocked to hear Wizpig will be racing too.
- Also, this commercial:
Crash Bandicoot: I'll give you a Play Station for it.
Mario: I'll give you a Nintendo 64.
Luigi: I'll give you all Nintendos.
Bowser: I'l give you the Koopa Kingdom.
Donkey Kong: I'll get you your own game.
Link: I'll get you your own game series.
Zelda: I'll get all these people off your back. - Berserk Button:
- Wizpig doesn't appreciate Klungo calling him Pigwiz.
- And don't make Gruntilda think you slacked off, as Klungo found out the hard way when Klungo reveals in part 2 that he could lift up Spiral Mountain.
- Also, Bottles hates being called Goggles. So much, in fact, that he actually threatens to erase Kazooie's game pak.
- Don't call Slippy Swamp Boy.
- Never assume the Killer Instinct cast is from Darkstalkers, which is not a Nintendo game. In fact, non-Nintendo video game characters happen to be this for the Diddy Kong Racers (see Fantastic Racism below).
- Big "NO!": Link, upon discovering the Marathon Man beat him again.
- Big Red Button: The self-destruct button on Banjo's car.
- Brick Joke:
- Dixie calls Tails in part 2. As the last entries show up and are nearly blown up by the Nintendos, the one the Nintendos succeed in blasting all the way to next year resembles Sonic The Hedgehog.
- The Marathon Man in part 4.
- Chekhov's Gun: The windshield button from earlier in part 4 that shot egg missiles comes to great use to Banjo and Kazooie later in the game when they need to pass Dixie Kong, Kiddy Kong, and Tooty.
- Dropped A Mountain On Him: Klungo in part 1, as punishment for mispronouncing Wizpig's name. He gets better.
- Evil Brit: Alec Trevelyan.
- Famous Last Words: "For your ship, Slippy?"
- Fantastic Racism: Any video game character that didn't originate with Nintendo is not welcome in the DKR5K. Tails gets blown up by the other racers for being a Sega creation, and Crash Bandicoot (who originated on the PSone) is sent driving away with his tail between his legs at the same time.
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Invoked by Tooty and later on Kazooie when they say the Comeback King kills all non-believers.
- Gilligan Cut: When Kazooie appears on Timber's Island during the meeting early on, Banjo asks who's playing his game, and we then see Tooty playing the game and losing.
- Hammerspace: Link's Megaton Hammer.
- Insistent Terminology: "Now, for people with intelligence, my name is Wizpig. Pronounce it right, or else."
- Killed Off for Real: Alec Trevelyan.
- Logo Joke: "Watch for Moving Nintendo 64 Logos"
- Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Diddy Kong Racing characters race with characters from the Super Mario Bros. games, Killer Instinct, GoldenEye (1997), Donkey Kong Country, and Banjo-Kazooie, among others.
- Rhymes on a Dime: Gruntilda most of the time, and Wizpig when he's trying to think up rhymes as he talks, which according to Gruntilda is hard to do.
- Running Gag: The other racers mistaking the Killer Instinct characters for other video game characters in part 3.
- Shout-Out: Plenty, including:
- The way the Marathon Man wins the Dragon Forest round.
- Also, "Prepare for trouble!" "Make that quadruple!"
- Speak of the Devil: Wario asks where Mario is... guess who's showing up next.
- Stock Scream: The Goofy holler, when Bowser falls out of DK's cabin. Goofy then shows up for the sole purpose of calling him out for it.
- Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: During the rhyme-off between Wizpig and Gruntilda:Wizpig: I'm all powerful, and I'm very fast. Team with me and we'll KICK SOME—
Grunty: Pass by me whatever you say. That's not good enough from my portray. - The Diaper Change: Kiddy soils himself, and Dixie, tired, has Donkey change the baby for her.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Played with; the DKR bosses may not be brainwashed this time around, but they, and especially Bluey, are pretty damn forceful when bringing Bumper to the Diddy Kong Racers' meeting. Apparently, Bumper wouldn't have shown up otherwise.
- Unusual Euphemism:
- "You're a lyin' piece of shoe!"
- Also, "stinkin' ugly piece o' bosses".
- We Need a Distraction: "Look! It's Halley's Comet!" The DKR bosses (except for Bluey) fall for it, and that's just because they actually saw it.
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What Do You Mean, It's Not for Kids?: Banjo is not too pleased that Tooty's into horror flicks such as the Comeback King movies. - You Blew Up My Arwing: Slippy wants to avenge his Arwing's destruction on Trevelyan.
- You Wanna Get Sued?:
- The Super Smash Bros. commercial is parodied by the Diddy Kong Racers, but the main reason they're pissed with Banjo is because of a botched attempt to send them the money they asked for before the commercial was broadcast.
- Phrase-stealing happens twice: first, Bowser, when falling out of DK's cabin, emits the Goofy holler and is called out by Goofy himself. Later, when Bogey shows up, Pipsy tells T.T. he's the guy that stole his phrase.
