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Fan Fic / Darkish Souls

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"Seek Guidance; Hurl Lightning Spear. Everything starts to make sense. Praise the motherf &*ing sun."
— ''Author's description'

Dark Souls isn't a very funny game. It's rather bleak and humorless, and the closest thing you get to a laugh is when you die again because you missed that half-naked Hollow who just stabbed you in the back with a rusty sword. Well, Queen Syndon decided to remedy that.

Darkish Souls is an parody of From Software's aforementioned Dark Souls. Follow Stacy and her companion Bob as they try to make their way through the twisted and oftentimes nonsensical and baffling world of Lordran. Their quest would probably be much easier if the Chosen Undead wasn't such a Jerkass.


It also contains Solaire suplexing Maneater Mildred. Just getting that out of the way, because if that didn't make you want to read it, nothing will.

The fanfiction provides examples of:

  • Action Girl: Stacy, who prefers to obliterate everything with her Zweihander.
    • Also Darkmoon Knightess aka Arcadia.
  • Action Survivor: Both Stacy and Bob though the latter fully embraces this trope and runs with it.
  • Aerith and Bob: Whilst Stacy may fit into a world where names like Oscar or Logan exist, Bob really stands out.
  • Affectionate Parody: It's clear the author spent a while playing the game. That doesn't stop them from poking fun at it whenever opportunity arises.
  • And I Must Scream: What becomes of the Chosen Undead.
  • Ax-Crazy: The Chosen Undead when he's not being a Jerkass.
  • Badass Normal: Both Stacy and Bob who (despite being Undead) never die a single time.
    • As per popular fan theory - Nobody fucks with Black Iron Tarkus.
  • Bigger Bad: The Chosen Undead becomes this, assembling an army out of all the bosses and their Mooks.
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  • Black Knight: Tarkus. Black armor? Check. Mysterious and enigmatic? Check. Feared by foes? Check. Extremely powerful? Double check! Thankfully he's a good guy.
  • Crazy Awesome: Solaire of Astora who doesn't shy away from using wreslting moves in this piece.
  • Complete Immortality: Seath is an odd variant combining The Ageless with an incredible Healing Factor. He can be damaged, even to the point of being physically disabled, but he regenerates From a Single Cell very quickly. This lands him a Fate Worse than Death in the final battle.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Bob and Stacy really have no tolerance for Lordran's bullshit.
  • Dynamic Entry: Done epically by Tarkus to save the heroes from the giant bomb thrower in Sen's Fortress. It's so devastating that it not only kills the giant, but completely levels the tower it was standing on.
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  • Eldritch Abomination: The Bed of Chaos comes pretty close to one being a mass of demonic, wreathing vines. This turns out to be a Monster Suit controlled by a tiny maggot-like being at it's core just like the games.
  • Jerkass: The Chosen Undead is this despite not speaking.
    • Gwyndolin as well, though he is of the Holier Than Thou variety rather then being trollish.
  • Platonic Life-Partners: Bob and Stacy.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Bob is the Red to Stacy's blue. Bob is prone to fits of panic or excitement, Stacy is much more controlled.
  • Silent Antagonist: The Chosen Undead is this. He never says a word, but does emote via body language.
  • The Stoic: Tarkus is this in spades. Not only does he not speak, but he hardly emotes at all.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Bob and Priscilla.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Bob who goes from being rather useless to a double-cestus wielding killing machine in the finale.
    • Also Solaire when he regains his memories.
  • True Companions: The main group consists of Stacy, Bob, Solaire, and Priscilla.

Example of: