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Fanfic / Boys Do Tankary

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"Boys Do Tankary"note  is a Girls und Panzer fanfic by vinini966 that involves new male students getting involved in tankery.

Oarai gets several new arrivals- Major Vincent, Staff Sergeant Nick, Lance Corporal Jon, Sergeant Josh, Warrant Officer Brent and Private Ian- some boys with extensive combat experience who join the tankery team. Unbeknownst to the girls at first, the boys have been to war in the past, and if the machinations of certain individuals succeed, the world will be engulfed in war yet again.

The fic can be found here.

This work contains examples of:

  • 24-Hour Armor: The boys always wear bulletproof vests.
  • Ace Custom: The tank used by the boys is a custom model... which makes it illegal for tankery, as tankery only allows WWII-era tanks, but the story ignores that.
  • Adaptation Personality Change: Hana is significantly more temperamental than canon and has a much more active sex drive, as evidenced by her relationship with Ian.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: While Miho in canon is a Nice Girl, in this fic, Miho is surprisingly petty and jealous, feeling entitled to Vincent's affections because of her position.
  • Adaptational Villainy
  • Affectionate Nickname: Lash calls Saori "Sao Sao."
  • Age-Appropriate Angst: A five year old Vincent cries after being separated from his sister Nyra when he's brought into the army.
  • The Alcoholic: Vincent and Gage, as a result of the incident in which Nyra was captured and Vincent was forced to shoot her in the head. Around the same time, Gage lost his entire platoon - Nyra was captured and everyone else was killed.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Vincent’s adoptive parents, especially when they ask questions about his relationship with Saori.
  • Anger Born of Worry: Hana smacks Ian after she finds out he was Playing Possum after getting shot.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: Vincent to Maho
    Vincent: Is it true that you have failed to see what is most important to you?
    Maho: No.
    Vincent: Then why have you pushed your sister so far away? You know nothing about true family.
  • Artistic Licence – Military: Modified tanks aren't allowed in tankery. The moment the boys told Darjeeling what they were driving, she could have had them disqualified on the spot.
  • Battle Discretion Shot: All of the tournament rounds are quickly passed over much like Anzio was in canon. This includes the match against the 4B3TT3RL1FE program, which the heroes lose.
  • Big Bad: The Orchestrator, from all indications.
  • Blunt "Yes": This exchange after Vincent recruits Josh.
    Josh: So your telling me that you tricked me into signing up for some kind of girls activity?
    Vincent: Yes, sergeant.
  • Boom, Headshot!: Vincent shoots one Gage's scouts between the eyes with a KAR 98.
  • Bulletproof Vest: Ian and the rest of the boys always wear them.
  • Bungled Suicide: Vincent once falls off the ship (although he claims it was an escape attempt in the middle of having a flashback), and later tries to shoot himself in the head, but survives both times.
  • Butt-Monkey: Ami is introduced protesting the boys getting involved in her class, only for Vincent to pull rank and rub her previous defeat against him in her face. It gets worse from there.
  • Character Exaggeration: Anzu has most of her canonical nuances removed, reducing her to a troll who likes dried sweet potatoes.
  • Child Soldier: Nyra enlisted in the army at 12, Gage at 7, and Vincent at 6.
  • Crossover: Some characters from Advance Wars show up, including Lash and Sonja.
  • Crash-Into Hello: Kay with Ian.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • Defied against St. Gloriana, in which it’s implied that Vincent’s crew could have defeated St. Gloriana almost instantly, but chose not to do so in order to see what Miho and the other girls could do.
    • In the backstory, Vincent's squad of six men, including himself, all but wipes out Gage's platoon of 10 men and two tanks- Gage and Nyra are the only survivors from the latter, while Vincent's squad loses only one man.
  • Curse Cut Short: See Last-Second Word Swap
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Several of the original chraracters. Vincent, on a mission, ends up taking some prisoners, witnesses his subordinates raping and murdering several of the teenage girls, and is forced to kill Nyra after becoming close to her or so he thought. He and Gage, who witnessed all this, become driven to drink.
  • Darker and Edgier: In comparison to Girls Und Panzer, especially with the boys being Child Soldiers who fought in a war, not to mention the fact that another war is coming. Oddly enough, it’s classified as “Romance/Humor
  • Dead Fic: The fic hasn't been updated since May 21, 2013, and since the author has not updated his profile or other fics in a similar amount of time, it likely never will be.
  • Deus Exit Machina: Vincent and his crew hold back against St. Gloriana to test Miho and the others’ abilities.
  • Disney Death: Vincent
  • Disposable Woman: Nyra initially seems to be a tragic figure in Vincent’s past, but she isn’t actually dead.
  • Entitled to Have You: Miho feels this way about Vincent.
    Miho: It's not fair. I'm the captain in my tank. He should be looking at me not that red head.
  • Eye Scream: Gage inflicts one to Josh with a knife in a flashback, wanting to taste a human eyeball.
  • False Flag Operation: Vincent is warned that the enemy might have stolen his side's uniforms and are pretending to be his comrades, and so is told to take no prisoners.
  • Flat Character: Most of the characters can be boiled down to a single personality trait, such as Josh's need for caffeine, or Gage's alcoholism.
  • Friendly Enemy: Lash and Sonja get onto friendly terms with Vincent and the others, despite the fact that the former pair are from the 4B3TT3RL1F3 program, the apparent main antagonists. Rachel demands that the former two stop fraternizing with the enemy, lest they get skinned alive by their boss.
  • Go Out with a Smile: Nyra dies with a smile on her face, after getting Vincent to shoot her so that they won't both be killed. Of course, she actually isn't dead.
  • Gratuitous Rape: Some soldiers on Vincent’s side rape several female POWs before shooting them.
  • Improbable Age:
    • Vincent and Gage become commanding officer for a squad of soldiers at the age of six and seven, respectively. Vincent's in charge of five men, while Gage has ten men and two tanks under his command.
    • In a less extreme example, the Captain is only 18.
  • It Has Been an Honor; Vincent expresses that it's been a "pleasure" fighting alongside with the guy with the bazooka before Gage's platoon closes in on the latter's location. Soon afterwards, the bazooka guy is killed.
  • I Want Grandkids: Vincent's father expresses this desire.
  • Last-Second Word Swap:
    Brent: I'll give Ian hel...I mean a retraining course.
  • Killed Offscreen: One of Gage's two scouts doesn't come back from doing recon in Gage's Origins chapter. Vincent and Nyra's Origins chapter reveals that Vincent killed the man.
  • Last-Minute Baby Naming: Exaggerated. Vincent's mother has Nyra send him off to an orphanage without giving him a name- Nyra does it when the woman at the orphanage asks what the baby's name is.
  • Love at First Sight: Vincent and Saori are interested in each other after their first scene together.
  • Love Triangle: Vincent and Saori are in love, and Miho briefly jealous of Saori for getting the boy she wants.
  • Massive Numbered Siblings: Vincent and Nyra are the youngest of seven siblings.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Miho finds Saori, Lash and Sonja sleeping together in their underwear, and asks if they're all "Lesbo."
  • The Mole: Ami, apparently. Shortly after being demoted, she takes advantage of an enemy attack, taking the girls hostage and trying to shoot Ian when the boys come to rescue them. She's arrested, and reveals that she's working for the Orchestrator.
  • Must Have Caffeine: Josh's defining characteristic is needing coffee to get up in the morning. He bonds with Mako, who is also Not a Morning Person, after introducing her to his favorite drink.
  • Must Not Die a Virgin: The men’s justification for raping the female POWs before killing them, in a sense; they think they're doing them a favor.
  • My Greatest Failure: Gage seems to see letting Nyra get captured as this.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Gage pretends to be drunk to confirm that Vincent was the one who killed Nyra.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • Darjeeling after Vincent gives her a coded warning that he will fire on her and not miss.
    • Vincent after hearing about the 4B3TT3RL1FE program buying over a million dollars' worth of tanks.
  • Older Than They Look: The Captain. Vincent mistakes her for 25, but she’s actually 18.
  • Only One Name: The original characters, with the exception of Ian Mello.
  • Outrun the Fireball: In a flashback, Gage manages to escape from the warehouse before it explodes.
  • Overranked Soldier: Vincent, who appears to be a high school student, is already a Major in the army; even considering that he was enlisted when he was six, this is highly unbelievable. The other boys, who range from a Private (Ian) to a Staff "Sargent" (Josh) vary but are less extreme. It's pointed out that the main reason Ian is only a Private is because of his womanizing ways.
  • Parental Abandonment: Vincent's birth parents have him given up for adoption because they only want boys to do tankery. They have his sister take him to the orphanage without even giving him a name.
  • Playing Possum: Ian, after Ami shoots him in his bulletproof vest.
  • Posthumous Character: Nyra but later subverted.
  • Quickly-Demoted Woman: Ami, who gets pushed aside, demoted to Sergeant Major after trying to have the boys transferred, and exposed as a villain in short order.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: The Captain is relatively understanding and willing to listen to the protagonists, ultimately getting Ami demoted when she tries to have them transferred out.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Vincent gives one to Maho, accusing her of forgetting what family means and pushing her sister away, possibly disregarding that Maho loves Miho dearly and wants her to find her own way of tankery.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: All over the place.
  • Running Gag: Brent intervening when Ian and Hana get too amorous with each other.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Virtually all the girls are defined by who they're in a relationship with. Saori is the only one with a character arc, and hers completely revolves around Vincent.
  • Second Love:
    • Saori is this for Vincent after Nyra's apparent death.
    • After realizing that Vincent won't choose her, Miho then moves on to fall in love with Jon.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: Vincent.
  • Shout-Out: Vincent gives Saori a copy of the first volume of Sgt. Frog, and the supply crate with the boys' stuff is called "K66," short for Keroro's name. Later on, a pervert who records video of Saori in the shower wears a Kululu mask.
  • Shut Up, Kirk!: Maho’s contemptuous “Family. This coming from a guy who has no family” in response to Vincent accusing her of not understanding what it means to be family.
    • Shut Up, Hannibal!: Vincent immediately responds that he considers his team to be like his family.
  • Sole Survivor: Gage is thought to be the only survivor of his platoon until it turns out that Nyra also survived.
  • Stockholm Syndrome: Possibly happens between Vincent and Nyra when they're locked in a cell together by Vincent's army, although he’s technically a prisoner as well.
  • Talk to the Fist: Vincent pistol whips Ami into unconsciousness after she boasts that “The Orchestrator” will have his war and they will all die.
  • Tragic Keepsake: Vincent keeps a lock of Nyra's hair on his dog tags, not knowing that she actually isn't dead.
  • True Companions: Vincent considers the Oarai team and his squad to be like his family.
  • Tyop on the Cover: The series spells it "tankery".
  • Unnamed Parent: Vincent's adoptive father is never referred to by name, and Vincent even claims that he doesn't know his father's name.
  • Wham Episode: Chapter 14(20 by’s numbering). The protagonists lose to the 4B3TT3RL1FE program, the Oarai ship is attacked, and war breaks out.
  • Wham Line: While Nyra had claimed to be Vincent's sister before, this line by Nyra, after Vincent mentions a "nice girl" who visits him in an orphanage finally confirms her story.note 
    Nyra: That nice girl was me. I was also the one you captured.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Vincent knocks Ami down before handcuffing her,and then pistol-whips her into unconsciousness to shut her up.
  • Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Maho says she doesn’t want to fight Vincent due to him being dressed like a girl, even though she herself is one.
  • Writers Cannot Do Math: The protagonists are concerned about the 4B3TT3RL1FE program buying a million dollars worth of tanks. In reality, $1 million USD is not nearly enough to afford even a single modern MBT.