Bella Swan: Pregnant and Furious
is a bizarre Twilight fanfiction by Comics Nix.
Unlike the usual Comics Nix story, Bella Swan: Pregnant and Furious lacks the horrifically graphic and disgusting sex descriptions, and instead is a completely random nonsensical action story. As the title suggests, the story is about a pregnant Bella Swan. Shopping for baby clothing, she goes to a baby clothes store run by cannibal ninjas, who have their sights set on her unborn child. Desperate and out of options, Bella makes a Deal with the Devil to gain incredible powers. All hell literally breaks loose.
From the aforementioned ninjas to pirates to Nazis, Bella finds herself in a life or death struggle with just about everything. Now there's a dramatic reading.
Tropes:
- Abnormal Ammo: The mech that fires "sword bullets".
- Action Girl: Bella
- Attempted Rape: The pirates reason for fighting with Bella is because they want to "fuck her while the baby is inside".
- Cannibal Clan: The ninjas.
- Choice of Two Weapons: Bella's primary weapons in this fic are shurikens and a sword, although she didn't necessarily pick these as her weapons; they're just what she happened to pick up.
- Crossover: Twilight with Clash of the Titans or simply Classical Mythology.
- Dual Wielding: At one point, Bella is fighting using both a ninja's katana and a pirate's sword.
- Duel to the Death: Bella vs Satan...although he comes back about a paragraph later.
- Falling Chandelier of Doom: Surprisingly averted in the first fight scene of the story.
- Gratuitous Ninja: Again, the ninjas.
- Humongous Mecha: Adolf Hitler uses one of these in his fight with Bella. This mecha is described as a "Giant-Gatling-fifty-foot-tall-Mech", and can apparently shoot "sword bullets".
- Just Eat Him: Bella and the hordes of pirates and ninjas are swallowed by the Kraken.
- Mêlée à Trois: Besides fighting Bella, the Ninjas and Pirates are mentioned to be fighting each other as well.
- Never Bring a Knife to a Fist Fight: Bella is able to defeat a group of "thousands" of sword-wielding ninjas with kicks.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Time begins to become compressed as a direct result of Bella killing Adolf Hitler.
- Only a Flesh Wound: During the final battle, Bella is punched in the stomach with such force that "she spurt her bowels out of her throat". Didn't seem to have that effect though; and her unborn baby was somehow unharmed.
- Pirate: They're here too.
- Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: "Yes Satan!" cries out loud Bella, "fell my soul in your ASS!"
- Pregnant Badass: Bella.
- Swallowed Whole: As stated above with the Kraken.
- Unexplained Recovery: Hitler and Satan, both of whom are killed by Bella, are back at the very end plotting their revenge.
- Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: One of the more ridiculous examples, too.
- Villain Team-Up: The story concludes with Satan and Hitler having apparently formed an alliance.
- Womb Level: The fight inside the stomach of the Kraken.
