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You ARE My Real Dad

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You ARE My Real Dad (Fanfic)
Artwork by @EXAGONO16

You ARE My Real Dad is a Helluva Boss Alternate Universe fanfiction, written by Faroe King on Archive of Our Own. Can also be found here on Fanfiction.net

In canon, Loona is Blitzo's adopted daughter; an orphan hellhound left to rot in an Orphanage of Fear for her whole childhood until the imp took pity on her and adopted her one month before she would age out of the system.

But what if she wasn't his adopted daughter? What if one rough work day and several drinks led Blitzo to have a one-night stand with a hellhound? A night that resulted in Loona being Blitzo's daughter by blood rather than just paper?

What if Loona was Blitzo's biological daughter?

…well, one thing's for certain. Things sure would happen!


This fanfic provides examples of:

  • Adaptation Personality Change: While she can still be rather snarky, moody, and seemingly short-tempered as usual, this Loona is a lot more responsible and hard-working as a result of being raised by Blitzo and having a more positive relationship with him.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul:
    • Not only is Loona's relationship with Blitzo more positive here as a result of him being her biological father and raising her, but her relationship with Moxxie is also more positive since while she initially doesn't trust him they grow to mutually respect each other once she warms up to him.
    • Barbie Wire may not even know her niece Loona exists in canon, here they are close enough for Barbie to babysit Loona and talk to her about problems. Notably, despite this Barbie maintains her hatred of Blitzo even into Loona's twenties.
    • Fizzaroli is Loona's Honorary Uncle here.
  • Adaptational Nice Girl: Loona is much nicer here, especially to her co-workers, since she doesn't harass Moxxie or call him fatty all the time due to having a loving father all her life.
  • Adaptational Species Change: Rather than being just a hellhound, Loona here is a hellhound-imp hybrid as the result of a one-night stand between Blitzo and Loona's birth mother.
  • Alternate Universe: In this universe, Blitzo was Loona's biological father. The timeline is also different, since in the original continuity Blitzo was old enough to be Loona's big brother when she was born.
  • Anachronic Order: The story has no real set order and switches between Loona as an infant, a child, and the early days of I.M.P. as refered to in chapter titles as "Imp-Pup", "Young Wolf" and "I.M.P. Years" respectively. This also leads to many Noodle Incidents being told but they normally get explained in other chapters.
  • Baby's First Words: Chapter 16 has Loona saying her first words. Those being Dada, Wuv and Fuck.
  • Birthday Episode: Chapter 16 is revealed to be one, with Blitzo struggling to make Strawberry Cupcakes for Loona’s first birthday.
  • Costume-Test Montage: Loona has one in Chapter 13, while bonding with Verosika at a clothing store, the succubus spoiling her rotten with new threads.
  • Cool Aunt: Unlike in canon where no personal relationship between the two is mentioned, here Barbie meets and bonds with Loona as a baby and warms up to the idea of being this for her niece. By the time Loona is in her twenties their relationship is still strong with Loona calling her to talk about problems. Notably, this has not improved Barbie's relationship with Blitzo, whom she still hates with a passion.
  • Cuteness Proximity: Weaponised by Barbie Wire, who uses baby Loona's adorableness to distract the orderlies, while she sneaks into the kitchen to steal some brownies.
  • Daddy's Girl: Given that Blitzo is now her biological father, this Loona has no trouble calling him dad and openly loving him for it. Especially during her younger years, though it still carries over in her later years.
  • Distinguishing Mark: In this continuity, the mark shared by Blitzo & Barie is a hereditary birth mark, which is the main give away to Blitzo, that Loona is indeed his biological daughter.
  • Domestic Abuse: It's implied that Loona's hellhound mother was abused by her boyfriend.
  • Expelled from Every Other School: Loona is kicked out or dropped out of every school she attended, even after visiting every ring in Hell. This is mostly due to racism towards her being a hybrid, causing the kids and teachers there to pick on her or mistreat her until she either lashes out or Blitzo takes her out. Finally, he gives up on sending her to school, instead having her homeschooled with a number of educational books and specials.
  • First Day of School Episode: Chapter 4 is all about Loona's many first days of school, as she bounces from one to another, being continuously mistreated at each one, growing disillusioned with the system, and eventually dropping out after a month and becoming home-schooled from then on.
  • Half-Breed Discrimination: While hellhounds are already at the bottom of Hell's caste system, hybrids like Loona still manage to be treated even worse.
  • Hate Sink: The teachers at Loona's schools. Special mention to the one who made her a slave for "educational play" and allowed a group of children to bully and mistreat her.
  • Homeschooled Kids: After dropping out and being expelled from a number of schools, Blitzo ultimately had Loona homeschooled, teaching her through a number of educational shows and specials he'd play for her.
  • Honorary Uncle: Blitzo made peace with Fizzaroli years ago and he acts as Loona's uncle by the time of canon.
  • In Spite of a Nail: Despite the different continuity, and making amends with Fizzaroli much earlier, Blitzo still turns to stealing Stolas' grimoire for access to the living world.
  • Innocent Swearing: One of Loona's first words is Fuck. Of course being a baby, she doesn't realise why it's a bad word and Blitzo's frequent use of it, has him excited than horrified when he finds out.
  • Interrupted Intimacy: Loona gets has her first meeting with Verosika, while the succubus and Blitzo are right about to get frisky. Needless to say, it's an awkward introduction for everyone involved.
  • Mistaken for Thief: When trying to confront Stolas inside of his mansion, Loona bumps into Octavia who mistakes the hound for a thief. This leads to a quick chase, before Loona explains the situation and they realise who the other is.
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten: Barbie has a good relationship with her niece, Loona, but even after more than twenty years she still hasn't forgiven Blitzo and might genuinely never do so.
  • Papa Wolf: Anyone who messes or mistreats Loona dies, with many assholes ending up on the other end of a bullet courtesy of Blitzo.
  • Powder Gag: Happens to Blitzo while trying to make cupcakes for Loona. When he tries to pour in flour it won't come out. And when it does, it empties all over the kitchen and on his face.
  • Related Differently in the Adaptation: Rather than just being Loona's adoptive father like in canon, here Blitzo is Loona's biological father thanks to a one-night stand he had with Loona's hellhound birth mother.
  • Soul-Sucking Retail Job: Before working at I.M.P. and moving to Pride, Loona used to work at a grocery store and hated every second of it.
  • Struggling Single Mother: Gender Inverted. Having to raise Loona by himself, Blitzo had to contend with struggles like the financial cost of taking care of a baby and the Half-Breed Discrimination toward his hybrid daughter.
  • Sucky School: Especially if you're a hybrid. Poor Loona learns this the hard way, when she's old enough to attend. While she starts out excited and happy, she does not have a good experience at any of the schools she attends, no what which ring she goes to. All the other students there are either weirded out by her or cruelly bully her like some kind of freak. And the teachers are often cold, callous and threatening towards the poor girl, treating her like an abomination or a mistake, despite being only a child. One of them even using her as a prop for a "educational play" of how lower born hellborn were treated, by making Loona a slave and having a group of children as their master, allowing them to bully and mistreat her without punishment.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: As ever Millie is quick to defend her Moxxie from any harm, as shown when he's assaulted by a group of imps and she brutally slaughters all but one of them.

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