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Fanfic / Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre

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Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre (the original was removed from Fanfiction Dot Net) is one of the more memorable of the over 9000 Troll Fics that arose in the wake of My Immortal. It is essentially Twilight retold in a parody of Tara Gilesbie's imitatable style, from the point of view of a Mary Sue named "Twila Beatiful Psyco Topaz Cullen" (although she's obviously not Cullen at the beginning) who goes to High School in "waschington" and takes the role of Bella, who's been cast in the role of a straw antagonist.

Ironically, someone wrote a werewolf and preppy version, Aurora Tha Grl Who Waz In Luuv Wik Werwolf

Compare Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, which, in spite of superior spelling and prose, is arguably even more outrageous.

Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre contains examples of:

  • Blatant Lies: Basically all of the author's notes. ("i waz on tour wif FALLOUTBOYY becuz dey red mi story nd invited me 2 come wif them nd it wa relly kool!111")
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  • The Cameo: Bibby Brown, as mentioned below.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: The last we see of Midnite is in Chapter 4. She becomes a brief offscreen plot point in Chapter 5, and is only vaguely mentioned in Chapters 8 and 9.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: In chapter 12, it is mentioned that Jacob died sadly in an "axident" which is never fully explained.note 
  • Extreme Omnivore: Twila, Edward, and Hamez when they eat Bella's bed after killing her.
  • Expy: Considering her name (Twila Beautiful Psyco Topaz Sad'ness Damian Cullen, and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way) and the nature of the fic, Twila's a pretty good replacement for Ebony
  • Eye Scream: When Hamez appears in Twila & Edward's bedroom in the middle of the night, Ed "shine[s] his gloriosus teeth" in the intruder's face, "temporerily blind[ing him] for life".
  • Fish out of Water: After causing a "diserbance" at her normal school, Twila is transferred to "Mount Saint Prepz Acadamy" (established 1847).
  • No Ending: The current posted version lacks chapters 13 and 14. Even in its full version, the author didn't actually finish Chapter 14 because "Swooney Toad" came on TV and she had to watch it.


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