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Fan Fic / The Last War

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The Last War by Lady of Pale Emerald Fires picks up the world of Harry Potter after everyone has left school. Ron and Hermione are married, and so are Harry and Ginny. But all isn't well...

Also available in MSTed form here.

If you want to know what this fic would be like if it were crossed with My Immortal, see Becoming Female. For the The Legend of Korra version, see Abuse Cycle.


The Last War contains examples of:

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  • All There in the Manual: A lot of the author's ideas about the Ron/Hermione relationship seem to come from this editorial, though it's never credited.
  • Author Appeal: Hermione laments not getting the chance to see Yo Yo Ma play Bach.
  • Beauty = Goodness: Harry and Hermione are sparkly and pretty! Everyone else, Ron and Ginny in particular, less so.
  • Cargo Envy: Harry gets this for Hermione's nightie in Chapter 5.
  • Chickification: Hermione suffers a horrendous case of this in Chapter 1.
  • Contemplate Our Navels: Most of the first chapter.
  • Dead Fic: Despite the mention of a "coming storm" in the intro to Chapter 5, that chapter was posted in 2010 and the fic hasn't been updated since.
  • Derailing Love Interests: Arguably the whole point.
  • Deus Angst Machina: To the point of absurdity.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: One of Harry's complaints about the wizarding world is how it dresses women in robes to conceal their natural beauty, no matter that wizards' and witches' robes differ only in style rather than function. The parallel with the gender politics of the burqa is obvious.
  • Domestic Abuse: Happens to Hermione.
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    • Also, to Ginny. Though in this case, the reader is apparently supposed to approve.
  • Double Standard: Of course it's fine for Harry and Hermione to cheat on their evil spouses. If either of them do it, though, Burn the Witch!
  • Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: A canon instance where Hermione punched Ron, as well as one where she conjured a bird to peck him, is referenced. In canon, both of these actions were portrayed as negative things for Hermione to do, but the author seems to see them as positive instead.
  • Expy: The yacht crew Harry hires? Wizarding version of The A-Team.
  • Fantastic Racism: Ginny seems, for no good reason, to have picked up a lot of the local version of Fantastic Racism, slagging off Muggle-born wizards willy-nilly.
  • Fat Bastard: The narration lingers on Ginny's weight gain rather too much.
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  • Flight of Romance: Hermione's opening monologue refers to the "symbolic flight" interpretation of the Prisoner of Azkaban Hippogriff ride.
  • For the Evulz: We never get any idea as to why Ron behaves the way he does, unless we read the column that seems to have inspired the fic.
  • G-Rated Sex: In the words of one HMS STFU commenter: "Also, doesn't the writer realize that Erasure's Always [to which they dance at the end of Chapter 4] is about sex?"
  • Gratuitous French: "Chateau (sic) de Noir" anyone?
  • Happily Ever After: What, to nobody's surprise, Harry and Hermione are implied to do.
  • Hurt/Comfort Fic: Of a kind.
  • Hypocrite: Both Harry and Hermione claim a moral high ground they fail miserably to uphold.
  • Jabba Table Manners: Ron, of course.
  • Karmic Death: Ron. After breaking Hugo's bird's neck and tossing it into the fireplace and beating Hermione, he gets magically beaten, has his neck broken, and is turned into a piece of wood and burned.
  • Kick the Dog: Ron kills a little bird that his son Hugo was taking care of.
  • Lampshade Hanging: "In a sense, he felt like he had been expecting her – as if he had cleared Ginny out of the way to make room in the house for Hermione." This is exactly what has happened.
  • The Last Title: Though, as noted under Nonindicative Name, it's unclear as to what the "Last War" of the title is.
  • Lets Wait Awhile: Harry and Hermione decide to put off consummating their love until things settle down. Since it appears to be a Dead Fic, this doesn't happen and we're left with an M-rated romance with no sex.
  • Newer Than They Think: In-universe: Harry and Hermione think that Erasure's "Always" (from 1994) is "eighties".
  • No Woman's Land: The wizarding world, apparently.
  • Nonindicative Name: The only war in this fic is the one between the author and canon.
  • Out of Character:
    • Most egregiously, Harry wishes he'd never learned about the wizarding world. So you'd rather have stayed with your abusive relatives and never met the great love of your life then?
    • The fic explicitly states that Ginny's behavior in the books was just posturing and that she's really a blood supremacist.
    • Indeed, everyone is so out of character that one reviewer speculated that the fic took place in the Mirror Universe.
  • Purple Prose: The author lapses into this on occasion. At one point, Hermione's love for Harry is described as being "like golden water".
  • Recycled In Space: A Lifetime Movie of the Week IN HARRY POTTER!
  • Remembered I Could Fly: It takes Hermione over a decade, but she does.
  • Series Continuity Error: At least twice. First we have the declaration that a wizard always gets custody of the children in a divorce, only to have Ginny threaten to sue for custody of the children when faced with her own divorce. We also have the designer dress Harry bought Ginny, which is later described as incredibly Stripperiffic, but even later still Harry thinks about the injustice of the wizarding world, including that women are forced to wear robes to hide their natural beauty (see Does This Remind You of Anything? above).
  • Shipper on Deck: Ginny randomly engages in some brief Lily/Scorpius shipping (presumably to beat it into our heads what a social-climbing whore she is.)
  • Stay in the Kitchen: The first chapter takes this Up to Eleven, quite literally as it takes place entirely in Hermione's kitchen.
  • Stealth Parody: Possibly. At the very least, hopefully.
  • Stealth Pun: Whether this was intentional nobody knows, but: "live in Harmony", really?
  • Straw Misogynist: The entire wizarding world appears to be populated by these.
  • Taking the Kids: Ginny tries this, but Harry prevents her from doing so.
  • Two Decades Behind: Or seven decades. Ron's insistence that his children change from playclothes and be presented to him after work sounds has more in common with The Sound of Music than a working class man in early 2010.
  • Unequal Rites:
    • Witches and wizards are said to be possessed of different kinds of magic (and of course the former is suppressed) but we're not actually shown any evidence of this.
    • The "sacred healing acts of witchcraft" are contrasted with the "violent virility of wizardry", but it's a witch who beats someone to death with magic.

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