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Fan Fic / Smooth Operators

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‘‘Opera for dummies, by dummies.’’

Essentially The Abridged Series for opera in written form, Smooth Operators parodies gently poke fun at both specific operas and operatic tropes in general.

The Smooth Operators team have so far abridged:

This series provide examples of:

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    General tropes 

    Così fan tutte 
The maid in the chapel with the revolver. Goodness, I think Lorenzo da Ponte would be most surprised to discover he’d written that.”

  • Angrish: Ferrando after it's revealed Guglielmo slept with his fiance.
    • Similarily, Guglielmo after Ferrando reveals he's done the same with his fiance.
  • Back from the Dead: Don Alfonso.
  • Beta Couple: Despina and Fig.
  • Canon Foreigner: It’s revealed that Fig is the very same Figaro from the Beaumarchais plays (and related operas).
    • This is (unwittingly) lampshaded fairly early on:
    Inverted-Jabberwocky: A guy whose name is only a few letters away from being “Figaro” and who used to be a barber is flirting with a snarky maid . . . we haven’t accidentally wandered into the wrong opera, have we?
  • Chewing the Scenery: Done quite literally by Despina early in the second act.
  • Funetik Aksent: Despina, when disguised as a doctor.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Order for the Protection of Earnest Rock Appreciators.
  • Gratuitous German: Despina, as the doctor.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: “I can’t carry a tune to save my life – not even one that has handles . . . oh, what a shame this is Così fan tutte and not Xerxes – then I could’ve said something like, “not even one that has Handels”!”
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: Smoperators team members WitchChao and NatureTheZafara express confusion regarding Marlena’s gender when she first appears.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Don Alfonso, by his own admission.
  • Original Character: Fig the waiter, Marlena the maid and Ciliegia, Dorabella and Fiordiligi’s pet dog.
  • Shout-Out: Multiple, but among the most notable:
    Fiordiligi: After acquiring all the necessary accoutrements, I must be sure to cut my hair, rename myself “Ping” and then . . . where does one even find a dragon? Is there a store?
  • Straw Feminist: Marlena has shades of this.
  • Title Drop: Despina supplies (and lampshades) a fairly liberal translation: “They’re all like that . . . hey, that’s a good title for an opera!”
  • Theme Naming: Fiordiligi – whose name literally translates as “loyal flower” – is given a series of flower-related nicknames by Ferrando.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: Despina, when disguised as the doctor.
  • You Need to Get Laid: Fiordiligi, according to Dorabella.

    The Marriage of Figaro 
Susanna: Madame, could you be thinking what I’m thinking?
The Countess: I think so, but really, why should it matter whether Idamante is played by a tenor or a mezzo-soprano?


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