Celestia opened her mouth to retort that she could crush them all in an instant, but a thought crossed her mind. A wonderfully mischievous thought. She had been looking for excitement, a break from the monotony of her life. Being kidnapped by muggers... well, that certainly counted, and it would be absolutely hilarious to see Luna's reaction to the situation.
Princess Celestia Gets Mugged
is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic written by BronyWriter.
After having to deal with one annoying noble too many, Princess Celestia desperately needs a break. Thankfully, Luna, feeling sorry for her sister's plight, offers to take over for the day so Celestia can have a personal day. Disguising herself as a pegasus named Sunny Skies, Celestia goes off into Canterlot to enjoy herself.
As fate would have it, she finds herself being mugged by a group of Stupid Crooks. Seeing the opportunity to finally have a bit of excitement, Celestia plays along by allowing herself to be kidnapped. As Celestia is enjoying the antics of her captors, Princess Luna mounts an attempt to rescue her sister.
The fanfic can also be read here on DeviantArt.
This My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic contains examples of the following tropes.
- Anger Born of Worry: Luna is quite furious at Celestia for the whole incident, but it's clear Luna had been genuinely worried and freaking out because she couldn't shake the spectre of something far more serious and sinister swallowing her sister.
- Anti-Villain: Celestia can see her "kidnappers" aren't monsters but desperate and dumb wretches who need help.
- Berserk Button: Do not insult Luna's moon pies.
- Code Name: The Stupid Crooks decide to use these (Mr. Nacarat, Mr. Xanadu, Ms. Razzmatazz, and Ms. Fallow) so as not to get caught when they let their captive loose after getting the ransom. 'Sunny Skies' quickly points out she's seen them in full view without them taking any pains to disguise themselves, which kind of defeats the purpose. This doesn't stop them from using the code names, but they realize this wasn't a good idea.
- Cross-Popping Veins: Luna gets one of these in chapter 6.
- Death by Childbirth: Celestia comes up with this background for herself to explain why the kidnappers weren't getting any ransom.
- Deadpan Snarker: Celestia, Luna, and even Shining Armour have their moments.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Luna mentioning how Shining Armour and Cadence play games in the middle of the night.
- Dramatic Irony: The audience and Celestia know that she is in no danger whatsoever, as well as the fact 'Sunny Skies' is actually her. The other characters have no idea this is the case, and that's were a lot of comedy comes from.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: The kidnappers are pardoned by Celestia and Luna, are given jobs in the castle, and Luna now gets massages from Mr. Nacarat.
- Epic Fail: A lot of the Stupid Crooks attempts. One not related to their 'kidnapping' is proceeding to let 'Sunny Skies' convince them to play poker with them. They end up losing all the money they stole from her.
- Even Evil Has Standards: The crooks may be muggers and kidnappers, but they don't actually want to hurt 'Sunny Skies'. They're also furious when they discover somepony kidnapped Celestia...until they figure out it's them.
- Face Hoof: Celestia is sorely tempted to do this after a particularly stupid slip by her captors, only not doing so because she's tied up.
- Luna has this reaction when she infiltrates Mr. Nacarat's dreams for information...and discovers he's attempting to have an Erotic Dream with absolutely no idea how to even have sex.
- Shining Armor has this reaction to realizing Celestia was never in any danger at all and played along with them.
- Luna has yet another upon learning that Celestia won back all the stolen money in a game of poker that's so loud it echoes throughout the entire building.
- Experienced Protagonist: Celestia, who is the most powerful magical being in her kingdom, plays this to an extreme. Her kidnapping isn't remotely suspenseful since she can easily tie her "captors" in knots if she felt like it.
- Finger in the Mail: The kidnappers originally planned on doing this to 'Sunny Skies' with her ear, but ultimately don't have it in them to do it and decide to use her tail and mane instead.
- Go-Karting with Bowser: In one chapter, Celestia plays go fish and poker with her kidnappers and wins all the money they took from her.
- Hell Hotel: Luna's punishment to the annoying nobility when revoking their moon pie privileges doesn't work is to make them stay at Hotel Moon, a rundown hotel eighty blocks from the palace. Their reaction is akin to it being this, but given this is Equestria, it probably isn't.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: All of the kidnappers, to the point where Celestia just pities them at the end of the "ordeal." It's probably why she decides they deserve a second chance at the end.
- It Amused Me: Celestia lets herself be kidnapped simply because it seems like it'll be exciting and she knows the crooks couldn't hurt her even if they were competent.
- Lima Syndrome: The kidnappers become more apologetic to Sunny Skies'as the ordeal drags on. Once they get over the shock of finding out her real identity, they're probably very thankful they did.
- Mugging the Monster: The crooks accidentally mug and kidnap Princess Celestia while she's disguised as Sunny Skies. Celestia outright admits to herself she could kick their collective flanks whenever she desired, but decides to be a Play-Along Prisoner for her own amusement.
- Nigh-Invulnerable: The crooks try to knock 'Sunny Skies' out twice. Both times, Celestia describes the hit to her head as feeling like being hit with a pillow, so she has to quickly improvise that she was hurt, mostly by giving a very over-the-top act.
- No Name Given: We never learn the kidnapper's real names.
- No-Sell: The crooks hit Sunny Skies in the back of the head to try and knock her out. Celestia barely feels it and has to actively remember they're trying to knock her out before pretending they succeeded.
- Later while the royal guard arrive to arrest them, one of them smacks her in the back of the head with a board to try and keep her quiet. The board breaks, and she still barely notices.
- Oh, Crap!: The Stupid Crooks have this reaction to realizing their 'captive' is Princess Celestia in disguise.
- Only Sane Man: While he doesn't figure out Celestia allowed herself to be kidnapped for her own amusement, Shining does realize the crooks have no idea they've kidnapped Celestia, and that they probably couldn't actually hurt her even if they wanted to. He also realizes that if Mr. Nacarat was dumb enough to hoof deliver the ransom note to the royal guard and get himself arrested, the kidnappers are probably not the sharpest tools in the shed.
- Play-Along Prisoner: Celestia outright admits that she could've kicked her kidnappers' collective flanks with no effort at all and is only a prisoner because she wants to be. Why? For the Lulz.
- Pity the Kidnapper: Upon learning how stupid her kidnappers are, Celestia isn't sure whether she should be mad at them or feel bad for them. She does take pity on them and when they are caught they are given jobs in the castle and are pardoned.
- Redemption Promotion: The kidnappers are spectacularly dumb during their attempts at crime, but after being pardoned, they seem to be doing a good enough job helping with the relief efforts in Canterlot's poor areas (and pranking uppity nobles).
- Shipper on Deck: Celestia toward Luna and Mr. Nacarat after he is pardoned and is given a job as Luna's masseur. Most likely just to troll Luna.
- Shout-Out: The codenames of the kidnappers? Mr. Nacarat, Mr. Xanadu, Ms. Razzmatazz, and Ms. Fallow.
- The Stinger: The epilogue has Luna asking for the ex-kidnappers' help in pranking Celestia back.
- Stupid Crooks: Even if Celestia wasn't a Physical Goddess in disguise, the crooks are more a threat to themselves than to her. When delivering the ransom note to the castle, their method is to have one of their members hoof-deliver it to the guards. Needless to say, he gets arrested.
- Sympathy for the Devil: Celestia feels sorry for her 'kidnappers' after realizing they're probably poor in spite of her best efforts at fighting poverty. And the fact they're complete idiots.
- Too Dumb to Live: The Stupid Crooks. When they send in the ransom note, they do so by having Mr. Nacarat walk up to the castle gates and hoof deliver it to the guards. And earlier, after finding out 'Sunny Skies' has an excellent memory and thus it's too late to blindfold her to hide their identities...Mr. Nacarat: We'll get the money from the Princesses, and then we'll go to Manehattan to hide out until this blows over. I have a friend who runs a tavern in the lower-east side who can hide us until then.Narration: Were she not tied up, Celestia would have given the crooks the double facehoof to end all double facehooves. It was getting to the point where she wasn't sure if she should be laughing at them or feeling sorry for them.
- Troll: Celestia essentially trolls everyone from her kidnappers to her sister because she's bored.
- Unintentionally Notorious Crime: The muggers were planning on kidnapping a young mare for ransom money. They end up unintentionally kidnapping the most powerful pony in all of Equestria. Their shock once they realize what deep trouble they've gotten themselves in is played for comedy.
- Wacky Cravings: Celestia and Luna's mother had this while she was pregnant with them according to Luna.Luna snorted. "She ate peanut butter and pickle sandwiches with Us, Tia."
- What Happened to the Mouse?: There were originally six kidnappers, but, by the end of the story, there were only four.
Word of God said the last two escaped. In actuality, he edited them out of the story completely as there were too many to keep track of. - What the Hell, Hero?: Luna predictably has this reaction to finding out what Celestia did.
- Wicked Stepmother: Also part of Celestia's improvised background.
- Willfully Weak: Celestia can easily wreck her "kidnappers" if she wanted to. She sticks around due to a combination of boredom, mockery, and even a little bit of pity for the criminals.
- You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Shining Armour says this after learning a squad under his command crashed into the wrong apartment. He has another such moment when he finally sees all the kidnappers for himself.
