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Fanfic / Oh God, Not Again!

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So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything again.

Oh God Not Again! is a Harry Potter fanfiction by Sarah1281, AO3 link here. An adult Harry gets sent back in time and makes it his goal in life to save as many lives from Voldemort as he can. Okay, that's a lie, actually. Not to say he doesn't do that, but he spends most of his time enjoying himself and wreaking as much havoc as possible. Also an Affectionate Parody, so people and events are looked at and discussed from a different perspective when deemed appropriate. Or funny.

Please note that some spoilers may be unmarked. You have been warned.

Not to be confused with the trope Oh, No... Not Again!


This fanfic provides examples of:

  • Abhorrent Admirer:
    • A platonic version with Tonks and Percy. Percy is delighted to have a seventh-year to discuss OWLs and NEWTs with. Tonks is fed up within the first twenty minutes and by the end of the year is avoiding Percy as much as possible.
    • Harry was already uncomfortable with the amount of female attention he got in the first timeline, but his discomfort with his admirers is compounded in the new one due to him mentally being twice their age. Even though he makes a point of discouraging their advances, he still feels like a pervert whenever he encounters a young teenager with a blatant crush on him.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: This happens with pretty much everyone thanks to Harry's decision to be a Troll in the new timeline, but several stand out:
    • Harry goes out of his way to not antagonize Malfoy this time around and even helps him out on a few occasions, leading to the two developing a relatively civil rivalry compared to the enmity they felt for each other in the previous timeline. Harry also takes the opportunity to challenge some of Malfoy's prejudiced views in an effort to push him toward redemption, noting that even in the original timeline, Malfoy was clearly capable of being better.
    • Neville becomes part of Harry's friend group from Year 1, as Harry retroactively realizes that Neville's upbringing was just as bad as his in some ways and makes a point of helping Neville realize the way he was treated was wrong, working to boost his self-esteem. This has a side-effect of making Neville a much more competent wizard who joins the group on their adventures.
    • When Luna arrives in second year, Harry likewise makes a point of reaching out and befriending her right away. The two quickly bond over being the only ones to recognize some of the blatant absurdities everyone else in the wizarding world takes for granted.
    • In general, Harry makes a point of playing peacemaker among his friends, particularly when Malfoy gets involved — he has no problem with Vitriolic Best Buds antics but tries his best to defuse any serious tensions. As a result, said friends are on at least mildly better terms with Malfoy and some of the other Slytherins, furthering Harry's overarching goal of calming down House rivalries.
    • Dudley and Petunia (Harry decides Vernon is a lost cause) also end up on better terms with Harry due to Harry finding ways to connect and bond with them. Though they aren't exactly nice to him, Harry notes that one summer of this approach results in a noticeable improvement in how they treat him.
    • Harry's relationship with Sirius also changes drastically, due to Harry knowing from the outset that Sirius is innocent and both of them having knowledge of the future due to falling through the Veil.
    • Subverted with Snape. Harry does genuinely consider trying to get along with the Potions professor, but ultimately decides that since Snape has already made up his mind to hate Harry, he might as well not even bother and have fun with it instead.
  • Adults Are Useless: The adults are more useless than usual, but mainly because they don't have knowledge from the future. Sirius Black, being the only other character to have fallen through the Veil and thus to also know of the future, is the primary exception, being Harry's primary partner in hunting Horcruxes and defeating Voldemort. Harry does sometimes get them involved on purpose when they can help, such as going straight to Dumbledore when Hagrid gets Norbert.
  • All Therapists Are Muggles: Harry remembers that this was a problem for Cho Chang in recovering from Cedric's death. She needed therapy, but had to edit her story because there weren't any magical therapists.
  • Always Second Best: As Harry miserably notes, Gryffindor will never lose the House Cup as long as he is at Hogwarts because he is Dumbledore's favorite student, making every other house this by default. The only year where this is justified as not due to Dumbledore's favoritism is Third Year, where the fault lies on Sirius for giving fifty points to whoever called Voldemort... well, "Voldemort". Gryffindor, being the House of the Brave and all, was the one who had the biggest advantage — even Ron, one of the few Gryffindors who had issues saying the name, stopped flinching upon hearing it by Christmas. That didn't stop Harry from being stubborn and avoiding saying the name himself (unfortunately for him, he slipped up at the End of the Year Feast and was promptly awarded last-minute points).
    • Otherwise, Draco notes that Hufflepuff is lucky to get a win occasionally, Slytherin tends to be consistently top two but may drop if someone goes too far with a prank, Gryffindor is also up there with Slytherin and their fall to 3rd place hinges on if someone messes up spectacularly, while Ravenclaw is usually second or third and sometimes wins through consistency. He also notes that it's unfair for Hufflepuff as being responsible is expected of them and thus tends to reduce their chances of winning points.
  • AM/FM Characterization: Nobert the Crumple-Horned Snorkack has an "eclectic" music taste of the Beatles, Beethoven, and Cyndi Lauper, and refuses to listen to pop music because "[a]pparently it takes time to determine the lasting power of a group".
    Harry: He's pretty cynical for a mythical creature.
    Luna: (laughs) As an endangered species not certain of his own lasting power, it makes sense he would be concerned about such things.
  • Anachronism Stew: A one-off example; Harry declares that Lockhart's favorite color is "Famous (formerly, Hot Magenta)". The author explains in the end-note that Crayola didn't rename that crayon until 2008, but she thought it was just too good to pass up.
  • Anti-Climax Boss:
    • Invoked. Harry spends a lot of time making sure that, once he goes to the graveyard, the scales will be tipped in his favor as much as possible and Sirius helps him preemptively sabotage the body reconstruction ritual by replacing Tom Riddle Sr.'s bones with that of a more distant male relative. When the time finally comes, Harry deliberately dies to one of Voldemort's curses to get rid of the bit of soul inside him, immediately comes back due to the same circumstances of his blood being used in the ritual tying him to the world as long as Voldemort lives, and hits a shocked Voldemort with a Killing Curse at the same Sirius arrives and also curses Voldemort, which happens just after Cedric and Fred hiding under the Cloak of Death and silenced by a muffliato charm kill Nagini using Basilisk fangs, while Aurors who had been waiting with Sirius immediately ambush the shocked Death Eaters and incapacitate all of them in short order, only Lucius escaping before the anti-apparition ward is placed. It's very cathartic.
    • In addition, there's the basilisk fight. Harry and Lockhart throw a rooster in front of the snake, and one cock-a-doodle-doo later, it's stone dead without even putting up a fight.
  • Artifact of Attraction: Sirius starts to put on the Gaunt Horcrux ring despite Harry warning him that it would kill him. He manages to stop himself when Harry says, "Sirius, if you put that on, then Snape will have to save your life. SNAPE."
  • Artistic License – History: Used for Rule of Funny. When doing Lockhart's quiz, Harry answers "Famous (formerly Hot Magenta)" for Lockhart's favorite color. The author notes that Crayola didn't change the name until 2008, but thought the opportunity was too good to pass up.
  • Artistic License – Law: When Sirius's innocence is inevitably proven, Harry browbeats Fudge (who is conveniently right there) into issuing the official pardon immediately. Legal pardons in the UK are issued only to those who are "morally innocent" — i.e. people who are definitely legally guilty of the crime, but have been judged not to have done anything actually wrong. Cases like Sirius's would be handled by a different process — given that he was imprisoned without a trial and therefore was probably never actually convicted of any crime, Fudge could have simply rescinded the order for his arrest.
  • Attention Whore: This time, the claims that Harry enjoys his fame and seeks out attention are absolutely true. Partially so he can make money off of his celebrity status and put that money to good use, and partially because, well... it's fun.
  • Badass Teacher: Sirius takes over as the History of Magic teacher. The badass part comes with the package.
  • Bad Liar: When Ron wonders where Ginny got the extra money she was spending on school supplies (which she got from her cut of a less-than-accurate book by Lockhart), she freaks out and demands to know if he's implying she stole it. Harry thinks to himself that the Weasleys were raised to be honest.
  • Batman Gambit: A couple times, Harry gets what he wants by playing on the reactions of others. In some cases, he already knows what their reactions will be, because he's lived this day before, while other times, he simply knows them well enough to guess.
  • Beyond the Impossible: Draco notes the ridiculously high point totals during Harry's Third Year, which is promptly blamed on Sirius for giving points out "like candy".
  • Big "NO!": Fred and George when they see the Quidditch field is now a hedge and Harry at one of the times Hermione wins fifty points after he dedicated himself to losing the House Cup.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Harry is much more of a Cloud Cuckoolander this time round, causing the general population to view him as somewhere between batshit insane and just full of it, but he's — usually — a nice guy, employing Dumbledore's tactics of destroying his foes through politeness and snark. Sometimes, though, he arguably strays right into Magnificent Bitch territory:
    Pansy: (after Rita Skeeter's Pentawizard Playoffs article) Stunningly pretty? GRANGER? What was she judged against — a chipmunk?
    Harry: I wouldn't talk if I were you, Pansy. Seeing as I heard you came in third.
  • Blatant Lies: Used by Harry when a Sarcastic Confession just won't cut it, or when he feels like it.
    • Invoked in one instance:
      Molly: This is much better gossip than last year's 'Albus Dumbledore was madly in love with Gellert Grindelwald'. Honestly, you'd think Rita Skeeter would learn to stop making up such sensational stories. Obviously Dumbledore was struck speechless by the blatant lies and thus couldn't be bothered to deny it.
    • "How do you know that?" "My psychic scar told me."
    • Also, this exchange is Blatant Lies for the Hogwarts personnel present as well as Harry and Sirius:
      Snape: Is there a reason you felt the need to go running off on a suicidal rescue mission without informing a responsible adult, first?
      Harry: I did get a responsible adult. Professor Lockhart is a Hogwarts Professor and surely Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have hired him if he didn't have complete faith in him.
  • Born Lucky: Harry gives this impression to those around him, since everything seems to work out for him. Of course, he has an unfair advantage they don't know about...
  • Breather Episode: Nothing important happens in Harry's new third year, but the author didn't want to skip over it entirely. It mostly covers the elective classes.
  • Broken Pedestal: Although Harry still obviously respects Dumbledore and tries to maintain something of their old relationship, it's also clear that he's aware of just how fallible Dumbledore is and how many mistakes the old man has made. More than once, he's deeply annoyed by how everyone else seems to take Dumbledore's word as gospel.
  • The Caligula: Parodied with Neville's Boggart, which is Harry as Minister for Magic in this timeline instead of Snape. Since this is a humor fic, Minister-Harry is less "feed people to lions because he's bored" and more "ban Monday because it's too depressing and let people pay to not register as Animagi".
  • Cannon Fodder: How the Sorting Hat describes the Gryffindors.
  • Casual Danger Dialogue: Harry uses this (along with a great deal of sarcasm) every time he and Voldemort have a showdown.
    Voldemort: You have been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?
    Harry: I've been taught to drop my wand and summon snakes. Our dueling club was kind of substandard.
  • Cassandra Truth: See Blatant Lies. Though, in this case, it's unknown whether Rita managed to piece this together through other sources or if she was just making things up after somehow learning about Dumbledore and Grindelwald's friendship and accidentally hit the mark full on.
  • Chekhov's Boomerang: At the beginning of second year, Harry saves Ron from the embarrassment of Mrs. Weasley's Howler by silencing it with Muffliato, much to the awe of the other students. The charm gets another use when Fred and George receive their own Howler for entering the Pentawizard Playoffs and finally proves vital at the climax by keeping the Death Eaters from noticing Cedric and Fred until they've fatally wounded Nagini, allowing Harry to take a killing curse to destroy his own Horcrux and finish Voldemort for good.
  • Chekhov's Gun: Also at the beginning of his second year, Harry brings pens and lined notebook paper to school and uses those instead of parchment. Other students begin to adopt the practice as well, causing some confusion among the teachers as they have to figure out how many sheets of paper equate to a roll of parchment. Then, in fourth year, Harry is able to make a strong point in favor of having been unknowingly entered in the Pentawizard Playoffs by someone else on the grounds that his name was written on parchment even though he's been using notebook paper for years (though this is undermined by Harry actually meddling with the Goblet to enter anyone willing to pay him, including Fred and George).
  • Chickification: Inverted, but not to the extent of Xenafication. Fleur does considerably better in the Triwizard Tournament. The author says that this is because the reasons for her lowered points in canon (attacked by Grindylows, the dragon breathing fire on her) were chance events not likely to be repeated.
  • Child Prodigy: In-universe, Harry comes across as this, particularly in his first two years when he manages to outscore Hermione on end-of-year exams without even studying. Harry is vaguely annoyed by this, noting that he really just has twelve years of experience on all of his peers, first-year lessons are incredibly elementary, and the second-year curriculum is only mildly more challenging (and that's partly because Harry didn't even have to take his second-year exams the first time). The same goes for his mastery of a broom — Harry acknowledges that he has innate talent, but twelve years of practice is contributing just as much, if not more, to his Quidditch success.
  • The Comically Serious: Percy Weasley starts off as this, as per canon. Harry talks him into loosening up a little over the years, and Percy also shows himself to have Hidden Depths.
  • Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Ginny was quite put out by the lack of heroics involved in Harry's defeat of the basilisk.
  • Consulting Mister Puppet: How people react to Harry talking about his scar. Made more explicit when a frustrated Hermione asks if she should say "sorry" for doubting Harry's scar's "predictions", and Harry inclines his head as though pretending to consult with the scar before answering that the scar says an apology would be nice.
  • Continuity Nod: Occasionally, mention will be made of past events.
    • Harry gets Hermione a copy of Hogwarts: A History for Christmas in first year. In second year, he mentions this when he asks her why she wants to borrow a copy from the library.
    • Harry gets Hermione a time-turner for Christmas in second year. He brings it up when the group start discussing what classes they'll be taking at the start of third year.
    • In third year Divination class, Ron sees in his crystal ball a vision of Harry and Fred competing in the Pentawizard Playoffs the following year (not that he knows what he's seeing).note  When Harry and Fred get selected, Neville reminds Hermione of this.
  • Conveniently Timed Attack from Behind: In the final battle, Sirius hits Voldemort from behind with the Killing Curse, while Harry hits the character with the same spell from the front.note 
  • Crazy-Prepared: When Pettigrew is caught, Luna pulls out an Animagus-proof jar that her father had her carry around in case she ever ran across an illegal Animagus she wanted to capture. Hermione had done such a move in the first timeline with Rita Skeeter.
  • Creator's Culture Carryover: Downplayed. There are several instances of Americanisms even though the series takes place in Britain — several characters use the American cuss word "ass" as opposed to its British counterpart "arse", and Luna makes a reference to Hogwarts not being a "public school", most likely referring to a government-funded school, when in Britain, this phrase refers to a type of school which Americans would call a "private school".note 
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right:
    • Luna is the only person to figure out Harry and Sirius had traveled back in time. It seemed obvious to her.
    • Harry hires a team of trackers who successfully find a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, proving that Luna was right about them all along.
    • Harry comes off like this to others, as most things he says are batshit insane, but slowly people realize that the more over-the-top Harry's predictions are, the more accurate he gets.
  • Cunning Linguist: The Black family taught their youngest generation (at the time) to speak "all the languages they thought [the cousins] might encounter" at Durmstrang, since they were considering sending the cousins there after Dumbledore became Headmaster of Hogwarts.note  While Fudge asks Sirius to help him translate, Sirius learns that the Bulgarian Minister can speak English (but prefers not to, just to annoy Fudge), and becomes the cousin that fits the bill for the trope the most.
    The two men [Sirius and the Bulgarian Minister] were apparently having a grand old time insulting Fudge without anyone but Narcissa being the wiser.
  • Cute Clumsy Girl: Harry gets Tonks an anti-clumsiness ring to help with her Auror training, but figures she'll only wear it for work, suspecting that she likes to be klutzy.
  • Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: When Harry and Lockhart reach an agreement of sorts, Harry adds that if Lockhart tries to steal one of his accomplishments, Harry will beat him to death with a paper napkin.
    Lockhart: Can you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?
    Harry: (shrugs) I'll have fun trying.
  • Deadly Euphemism: Parodied:
    Harry:...Sadly, leprechaun gold dies after a few hours.
    Percy: Dies?
    Harry: Well, the official story is "missing", but we all know what that means.
  • Dead Guy Junior: In the original timeline, Harry had a new owl named "Hedwig Jr", after his previous owl who died in Deathly Hallows.
  • Deathbringer the Adorable: Defied, much to Harry's dislike. In the original timeline, he and Ginny got a rabbit, and she refused to accept his name suggestion of "Mega Ultra Flame Deathsman", instead going with a more standard "Flopsy".
  • Death by Adaptation: The basilisk actually manages to claim one victim in second year: Mrs. Norris.
  • Deconstruction Fic: An affectionate, Deconstructive Parody using the Peggy Sue framework. Lampshades hung, inconsistencies trounced flat, and characters attacked at angles that reveal new aspects. And it has a ball doing it.
  • A Dog Ate My Homework: Two of the papers Lupin tries to grade in Chapter 31 was chewed up by the textbook Hagrid assigned.
    Harry: Wow. "My book ate my homework." I don't think I've heard that one before.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Only three people are allowed to call Tonks by her birth name Nymphadora. Two of them are Charlie and Cedric because she lost a bet to each of them (and doesn't make such bets anymore). Remus can call her that as well, though the significance of it escapes him at first.
  • Double Standard: In-universe. Neville points out to Hermione that attributing their obsession with Quidditch to their gender could be considered sexist.
  • Dragged into Drag: Sort of. Draco gets a photo of Harry in a dress (technically a Boggart Neville made less frightening) and sells them to students as collectibles. Harry negotiates for a cut of the profits and is okay with signing them.
  • Emo Teen: Harry accuses Diary!Riddle of being one. So does Sirius, for that matter.
  • Everybody Knew Already: About dragons being the first task in the Pentawizard Playoffs. Bagman is not pleased that "the champions (and George) all spectacularly failed to react":
    Bagman: (annoyed) Oh come on, you could at least pretend to be surprised!
    Harry: (obliging) Gosh, this has got to be the most unexpected event I've ever encountered! Dragons? I don't think I've even seen a dragon!
    Cedric: That's a little over-the-top, don't you think?
    Harry: I'm reacting for six people here; take it or leave it.
  • Everyone Can See It: Ron acts shocked at the idea of asking Hermione to the Yule Ball. Harry and Neville point out how obvious his crush on her is.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Harry is willing to do some questionable things to make money, or even just for the fun of it, but he draws a line at charging for medical treatments, like the mandrake draughts he buys out of his own pocket to treat the inevitable petrifications in second year. When he does sell things, he makes sure to charge a fair price and give anyone who helps him a cut of the money.
  • Exact Words:
    • Ron demands to know why Harry is being so nice to Colin, since Harry normally hates when people get all star-struck around him. Harry, not wanting to explain time travel, says it's because Colin reminds him of a friend who died — which is true, just leaving out that the unnamed friend in question was Colin himself in the original timeline.
    • Dobby jinxes the Bludger to go after Harry in second year despite Harry having gotten Draco to make Dobby promise not to save Harry's life or drive him away from the castle, by justifying it as only an attempt to break Harry's arm.
      Harry: Wait... Didn't Draco order you not to try to save my life or to try and drive me from the castle?
      Dobby: (looking downright mischievous) Dobby wasn't trying to save the Great Harry Potter's life nor was he trying to send him away from Hogwarts. Dobby was trying to break Harry Potter's arm.
  • Fantastic Racism:
    • At one point, it's shown that even the Weasleys aren't completely immune to the pureblood mentality when Ron mentions they never talk about their second cousin who's a Squib (and an accountant). Harry notes that it's to Ron's credit that he doesn't grasp why the cousin is an outcast and that he's invoking this trope unintentionally.
    • Parodied when Luna asks Snape if he is a "living-ist" — someone who prejudges based on whether a person is dead or alive.
  • Fiction 500: Harry exploits his fame and knowledge of the future to open up several business ventures over the course of the fic, and as a result he's able to buy basically anything he wants.
  • Foreshadowing: A subtle clue to who Barty Crouch Jr. is impersonating this time around happens when Percy offers Crouch Sr. a drink at the Quidditch World Cup in Chapter 35. Mr Crouch declines because he has brought his own drink before taking a sip from his flask.
  • For Want Of A Nail: Defied; Harry likes to let most major events play out the same way they did before so he can use his future knowledge to strike decisive blows against Voldemort when the time is right. However, this still hits him on a few occasions.
    • Harry lets Lucius Malfoy slip Riddle's diary into Ginny's things at the beginning of second year so he can get hold of it and destroy it; however, by the time he gets a chance, Peter Pettigrew has already run off with it. This is implicitly because Sirius escaped from Azkaban during Harry's first year, prompting Pettigrew to run for cover earlier. It backfires on him though, as after Pettigrew is possessed and forced to open the Chamber of Secrets, Harry uses the fact that he's still alive to get Sirius's name cleared.
    • Harry has an Oh, Crap! moment when no Dark Mark appears during the attack on the Quidditch Cup, realizing that this probably means some other major thing has changed. He's right, as it turns out that Barty Crouch Jr. isn't impersonating Mad-Eye Moody this time; Harry confirms this using the Marauder's Map on the first day of school. Instead, Crouch Jr. is impersonating Crouch Sr., allowing him to help judge the Pentawizard Playoffs and better rig them in Harry's favor — not that Harry needs the help.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Hermione's house-elf rights organization becomes SHOE: Stop Hurting Our Elves.
  • Gender Bender: When a certain trickster gets into the History of Magic post, he warns that this might be one of the random "amusing" results of falling asleep in class.
  • Genius Ditz: Lockhart is still incompetent as a teacher, but Harry admits he's a genius when it comes to anything dealing with the media.
  • Good Thing You Can Heal: Or at least, Good Thing You Can Get Healed.
    Sphinx: Right. Do not worry, though, as I am not permitted to kill you. That said, Healers can work all sorts of miracles these days.
  • The Ghost: The Headmistress of Salem Witches' Academy, an Original Character. The in-universe reason for this is that she was "too busy to come personally" to Hogwarts to judge the Playoffs tasks and overall has no interest in the competition; she appoints Luna to judge in her stead because Luna was the only one that figured she should be contacted. The meta reason for this is that the author, according to the notes of Chapter 41, has "a crippling hatred of OCs" and "figured it would be best to avoid them".
  • Grammar Nazi: Harry trademarked SPEW for his Grammar Nazi organization 'Stop People Abusing Words'. He chose to spell 'Abusing' with an E to be ironic (and make it fit the acronym).
  • Handwave: How Harry goes back in time is barely explained and goes against canon, but the setup barely matters.
  • Hard Truth Aesop: In-universe. Sirius tells his History of Magic class the story of Voldemort's parents and asks them what the moral is; Lavender suggests, "Don't assume the guy you're feeding love potions is in love with you and stop."
  • Hard Work Hardly Works: Draco points out that Hufflepuff never comes out ahead because working hard is such an ingrained, defining trait of theirs. “What are they going to do? Do exactly what they're supposed to do MORE?"
  • Harmful to Minors: Neville kills Quirrell in the Chamber of the Philosopher's Stone and is understandably shaken by it. Dumbledore and Harry try their best to comfort him.
  • Harsher in Hindsight: An in-universe example. Mentally being an adult lends Harry a different perspective on many incidents, such as now being horrified at Neville's Hilariously Abusive Childhood.
  • Have You Told Anyone Else?: Defied when Harry thinks Lockhart might be planning to steal his Invisibility Cloak. He makes a point of telling Lockhart that at least two dozen other students (whose names he is not saying) can confirm that it's his. Lockhart gives up and doesn't take the thought any further.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight: Also in-universe, Harry finally gets that Lockhart was joking when he implied he was more famous than Harry.
  • Humiliating Wager: Charlie and Cedric are allowed to use Tonks's Embarrassing First Name because they won one of these. She has vowed not to make these bets anymore — much to Harry's dismay, as he would likely win easily with his unfair advantage.
  • Hypocrite: Harry (affectionately) thinks this when Sirius insists Snape should really let go of his resentment. Because Sirius, himself, is quite mature in that regard.
  • In Spite of a Nail: Invoked. While Harry is trying to change some future events, he justifies keeping his status as a time traveler under wraps and largely letting things play out as they did before because knowing their fates could mess with people in unfortunate or harmful ways. In particular, Harry cites how knowing they would get together in the future could screw up people's relationships before they even start. The less events deviate from what happened last time, the easier it will be to get an optimal outcome (i.e. keep people from dying). Also, Harry couldn't get away with being a troll anymore if people learned he was actually an adult.
    • One unintended incident of this comes up in Harry's second year. Harry lets Lucius Malfoy slip Riddle's diary into Ginny's textbooks as usual, then plans to swipe the diary from her before anyone notices and destroy it. Unfortunately, Pettigrew runs off with the diary before Harry can get to it, so the Chamber of Secrets is still opened and a number of people are still petrified by the Basilisk (though they're immediately revived thanks to the supply of mandrake draughts Harry procured as a backup plan).
    • A minor example. Even though Harry goes out of his way to prevent Draco from provoking Buckbeak into attacking him, Draco "accidentally" casts a Reducto on his wrist so that Madam Pomfrey has to regrow several of his bones, in order to get out of playing Gryffindor in the first Quidditch match of their third year. And Dementors somehow swarm the Quidditch pitch again even though the Azkaban breakout issue has already been resolved, causing Cedric to catch the Snitch again — it's later revealed that they were sent by Umbridge for some reason, à la OotP.
  • I Reject Your Reality:
    • In a lighthearted version of this, Sirius chooses to pretend he was in Majorca instead of Azkaban for over a decade. Everyone pretty much goes with it.
    • Luna provides an equally lighthearted instance:
      Hermione: It's not our fault we're not insane. No offense, Luna.
      Luna: Why would I be offended? I've seen your version of sanity. It bores me.
  • If You Die, I Call Your Stuff: Ginny to Harry upon facing the third year Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match:
    "...[I]f you die, can I have your broom?"
  • If You Ever Hurt Her: Subverted.
    Remus: (dazed) Aren't ... you going to warn me about breaking [Tonks'] heart?...
    Sirius: Why, are you planning on breaking her heart?
    Remus: Well, no, but—
    Sirius: Then she can handle herself. She is well on her way to becoming an Auror, after all; and I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Harry does this a lot in order to explain how he knows certain facts that he shouldn't know yet or when he's messing with people.
  • Insistent Terminology: Harry keeps calling their group "The Trio Plus Neville" because "The Quartet" sounds too much like they should be musicians.
  • Ironic Echo: Harry returns one of Dumbledore's cryptic remarks to the man himself.
    Harry: The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.
    Dumbledore: That is most unhelpful and I suspect deliberately cryptic.
    Harry: Well, if it is it's probably because I got that from a reticent and secretive to a fault old man.
  • It Amused Me: Much of what Harry does is to avoid the crap that's going to happen, but most of it he does for the hell of it. The main reason he doesn't tell everybody his actual age is that everyone would then expect him to act like it.
  • The Jailbait Wait: Due to the discrepancy between his physical and mental ages, Harry decides it's best if he doesn't pursue anyone romantically until he's physically seventeen. Part of it is not wanting to be open to prosecution, but mostly everyone who matches Harry's physical age looks way too young to him. Even the idea of his teenage peers having crushes on him make him uncomfortable.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
    • Harry comes off as this, especially to the other characters who can't hear his thoughts. He may spend the story being an attention-seeking Troll, but he does it while also doing everything he can to save or improve the lives of nearly everyone.
    • Draco is this in the new timeline, since he and Harry manage to become friends. Prolonged exposure to the rest of the gang means his prejudices aren't nearly as strong, and by the end, he's really not so bad.
  • Karma Houdini: Lucius Malfoy gets away with everything he does. Again. He even manages to escape the graveyard during Voldemort's revival, and thus isn't caught by the Auror backup that Harry and Sirius called for. This is lampshaded, as per the norm of the fic.
    Harry: Unbelievable. How does your father always manage to land on his feet, Draco?
  • Keet: Harry is a lot happier in this timeline, and is often cheerfully cracking jokes, running headfirst into danger, and generally enjoying every second of his existence.
  • Kill It with Fire: Most of the Horcruxes are destroyed using Fiendfyre.
  • Lampshade Hanging: The story is practically made of them.
  • Late to the Punchline: It takes Harry time-travelling and hearing Lockhart's comments about fame a second time (this time as an adult) to realize that Lockhart was joking. (Of course, he's still a self-centered, fame-hungry git, but he's not nearly as bad as he came off in the original timeline.)
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: When presented with a headline reading "Harry Potter and the Pentawizard Playoffs", Harry muses that it sounds like the title of a book...
  • Loophole Abuse:
    • In Harry's fourth year, he was supposed to work with antidotes and "turned in a bezoar again".
      Harry: It's kind of expensive, but the look on his face and the fact that he can't technically fail me because the assignment was to find a way to save someone from the various poisons makes it all worth it.
    • Fred Weasley gets entered into the Pentawizard Playoffs and George wants to enter as well. Solution: Have him change his name to George "Fred" Weasley and both can participate!
    • Dobby turns out to be unexpectedly good at this during the second year. Despite Harry having Draco order Dobby to "not try to save Harry Potter" and "not try to keep Harry Potter away from Hogwarts", Dobby can still attempt specific things he's not prohibited from (such as enchanting a Bludger to attack Harry, since he hasn't been ordered to "not break Harry Potter's arm"), which may lead to Harry leaving safely.
  • Love Potion: Discussed. When Sirius explains Voldemort's backstory and asks his class what the moral is, Lavender says, "Don't assume the guy you're feeding love potions [to] is in love with you and stop?" Seamus is disturbed by this.
  • The Masquerade: At the Yule Ball, Luna namedrops the trope name as the wizarding world's policy of hiding from the Muggles.
  • Mauve Shirt: Some readers thought Cedric Diggory was being set up for this, again, according to the author's note in Chapter 45. "When I was rereading GoF I noticed how ridiculously likable [Cedric] was. Seriously, it's like JKR did that just so everyone would be sad when he died…" He's promoted to a supporting character. And doesn't die.
  • Mental Time Travel: The way Harry and Sirius end up going back.
  • Mentors: Lockhart mentors Harry in dealing with being a celebrity. They later try to give fame advice to Krum.
  • Muggles Do It Better:
    • An example appears to explain why Theodore Nott, a Slytherin, is in Muggle Studies. When asked why he was there, Nott notes that his father learned the hard way that Muggles weren't as harmless as he thought after being shot on a trip to Las Vegas, and wants his son to learn as much about Muggles as possible.
    • There is also why some students begin to use pens and notebook paper instead of quills and parchment. Becomes a Brick Joke in fourth year when Cedric writes his entry for the Goblet of Fire on lined notebook paper and Harry points out that the Goblet spat out his name on parchment even though Harry hasn't used it since his first year as evidence that someone else entered for him.
  • My Friends... and Zoidberg: At the beginning, Harry insists on referring to his group of friends "The Trio Plus Neville" because "Quartet" sounded too much like a group for musicians for his liking.
  • No Periods, Period: Averted twice. Moaning Myrtle was killed during her "time of the month", which she offers as an explanation of why she's emotionally volatile all the time. In third year, Lavender receives bad news from home that her pet rabbit has died on the date seemingly foretold by Professor Trelawney, and that, worse, her period has also just begun (a revelation which causes the male Gryffindors to make hasty excuses to leave).
  • No Such Thing as Bad Publicity: In-universe, Lockhart namedrops the quote as advice to Harry in a postcard in Chapter 31, regarding Draco selling posters of Neville's Boggart form of Harry being Dragged into Drag.
  • Noodle Implements: Narcissa Malfoy doesn't like to be around Sirius after the Marauders pranked her while she was on a date using "a frog, a bottle of pink hair dye, and a trampoline".
  • Noodle Incident: Harry's first summer with Sirius is mostly subject to this; we know that he and Sirius helped Luna and her dad track down a "Blibbering Humdinger" in Zaire (with little luck), that he was forced to speak French for six weeks (which he maintains was the worst thing that happened to him in recent memory), and that he, Fred, and George locked Percy in a pyramid for three hours.
  • Not Even Bothering with an Excuse: Harry doesn't really bother to hide that he knows things he really, really shouldn't. He's just as likely to claim that his scar told him as he is to tell the true source, and he often namedrops future/previous-timeline events (like how Dobby "took a knife for him once"). Since everyone thinks he's completely insane, he gets away with it.
  • Not with Them for the Money: A platonic example. Ron tries to refuse the nice broom Harry gives him for Christmas their first year because he feels he doesn't have anything worthwhile to give in return. Harry shuts this line of thought down by pointing out that Ron was his first ever real friend and one of the only people who sees Harry as a person and not just "The Boy Who Lived." As far as he's concerned, that's worth way more than a simple broom.
  • Obfuscating Insanity / Obfuscating Stupidity: Beneath his trolling and general absurdity, Harry applies some genuine maturity to his time at Hogwarts, making serious efforts to create a better environment for himself and others. He works to subtly challenge blood status prejudices, reaches out to people from other Houses to encourage school unity and help break down House rivalries and stereotypes, and does his best to help others work out their differences and get along better, such as helping Percy connect with his younger brothers.
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten: After Harry becomes a participant in the Triwizard Tournament, he complains that the adults are more worried about how he was entered in the tournament and not why:
    Sirius: If it were any other student potentially in danger, they would probably be highly concerned, but you go after trolls because you're bored.
    Harry: That was only the one time!
  • One-Steve Limit: Defied for purposes of exploitation and discussed in Chapter 42. George changes his legal name to George Fred Weasley so that he can compete in the Pentawizard Playoffs alongside his twin. However, the judges have to vote to decide whether this can be allowed — the objecting side lost 4-3, and two of the affirming judges had personal reasons for voting for instead of against anyway.
    Harry: [...] But while we're on the subject of judging... how in the world did the twins get away with both of them competing?
    Luna: The Goblet selected Fred Weasley as a champion and they were both Fred Weasley. I feel we should all be grateful that this isn't a public school and the name entered wasn't 'John Smith' or we would easily have half a dozen boys competing under one name.
  • Only in It for the Money: Well, Harry's not only interested in money, but he does deliberately project this persona, to the point where he manages to convince everyone that he's not the Heir of Slytherin because if he were able to petrify people, he would be charging to do it instead of doing it for free.
  • Only Sane Man: Neville, who's part of the main group this time along with the trio, is often the voice of sense and reason when Ron and/or Hermione are being unreasonable and/or Harry is being a troll.
  • Original Character: Heavily downplayed. The Headmistress of Salem Witches' Academy is the OC in question, but she is The Ghost throughout the fic.
  • Paranoia Gambit: When Sirius becomes the History of Magic professor at Hogwarts, he decides to play the long game when it comes to tormenting Snape.
    Sirius: It's going to take every ounce of my considerable self-control, but I want to wait until he's so paranoid he can't sleep before I start in on him.
  • Peggy Sue: Harry and Sirius get sent back in time and decide to fix things and goof around in the meantime.
  • Pillow Pistol: Pillow Wand, rather. Harry apparently sleeps with his wand under his pillow and will hex anyone who disturbs him while sleeping.
  • The Power of Love: Harry tells Sirius how he survived Voldemort's second Killing Curse through the power of love. Sirius responds that Harry should come up with a more badass explanation than that.
  • Power Trio: Double Subverted. Though Harry, Ron, and Hermione become friends like before, Neville is added to the ranks right from the get-go, making them a Power Quartet. However, Ron, Hermione, and Neville end up more of a unit without Harry, making them a Power Trio and Harry more of the Draco to their Crabbe and Goyle. On the other hand, Harry ended up forming a unit with Luna as his closest accomplice.
  • Precision F-Strike: When Cedric hears the first task of the Playoffs will be to steal an egg from a nesting dragon mother, he takes a deep breath and just says, "Shit."
  • Psychic Powers: Harry's main excuse for knowing what he does is that his scar is psychic. Note that he isn't psychic — just his scar. Professor Trelawney calls him a Seer by proxy.
  • Refuge in Audacity: The main way Harry gets away with everything that he does? Do it with total confidence and zero shame. And make sure that whatever "it" is, it's as over-the-top and ridiculous as humanly possible. Most people are so stunned (or so exasperated) that they just... let him.
  • Replacement Goldfish: After Mrs. Norris is killed by the Basilisk (the only casualty in that incident), Harry has Mrs. Figg send Filch a Kneazle kitten, to Sirius's horror. The new cat is seen working alongside Filch like Mrs. Norris did and he seems to like her.
  • The Rival: Draco for Harry, but in a way that is far more friendly than in canon. Neither likes the other's friends and they sometimes don't speak to each other, but generally they are on rather good terms. It may be best described as a cross between this and Vitriolic Best Buds.
  • Rule of Three: In the middle of dinner in the Great Hall, Harry makes a show of inviting Luna to be his date to the Yule Ball. The other students are impressed. Then Neville invites Ginny. Then Ron invites Hermione.
    The students hesitated for a few moments in case someone ELSE wanted to take that opportunity to ask someone to the Yule Ball. When no one did, the applause became thunderous and girls swarmed in on the only three with dates to press for details.
  • Running Gag:
    • It's a tax deductible!
    • The ever-spreading rumor that Draco Malfoy is secretly the lovechild of Narcissa Malfoy and Severus Snape.
    • Wrackspurts!
    • Harry's psychic scar.
    • Harry's "Oh, that reminds me, Cedric? Graveyard?", and Cedric reflexively responding, "Run like hell."
  • Sarcastic Confession: Harry occasionally tells the truth about how he knows certain things, stating specifically that no one would believe the truth. In Chapter 19, he recaps the entirety of the original timeline to a disbelieving Dumbledore.
  • Scaled Up: Harry's Animagus form is a snake.
  • Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Harry is constantly able to bribe government officials for whatever he wants, including a Time-Turner for Hermione and paperwork for a pardon for Sirius. While he takes full advantage of this, he also admits that it's a sign of how horribly corrupt the wizarding government is.
  • Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Downplayed. Harry spends some time defeating Voldemort earlier with a far lower body count, but admits that the future he came from was already pretty good.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend:
    Remus: Nymphadora is not my girlfriend!
    Harry: She lets you call her Nymphadora.
  • Shout-Out:
  • Spanner in the Works: Voldemort, as in canon, had carefully laid out his plan to return so that nobody could stop him. Unfortunately, he had no way to take into account Harry's future knowledge, ultimately leading to his downfall.
  • Spared by the Adaptation: Everyone except Quirrell, Mrs. Norris, Bertha Jorkins, and Voldemort. Also, Professor Binns' ghost gets exorcised by Sirius and moves onto the afterlife but he was already dead.
  • Stating the Simple Solution: When diary-Riddle tries to extort Harry for how he survived the Killing Curse, Harry points out that he doesn't need that information to kill him — he just needs to use a different spell. Despite knowing this, Voldemort never actually does that.
  • The Stations of the Canon: Harry occasionally uses these to earn money by betting on highly improbable events. The most obvious of these is during the third year Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff when Dementors show up out of nowhere to crash the match, despite not being stationed at the school. Cedric catches the Snitch, at which point Harry gets a large payout from students that he'd bet (through a proxy, of course) about the outcome of the match with.
  • Stunned Silence: The Death Eaters' reaction when Harry throws off Voldemort's Imperius Curse and proceeds to mouth off at him.
  • Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard:
    • At the beginning of Harry's second year:
      Harry: [Dobby's] apparently gotten it into his head that Hogwarts is a walking death trap and therefore I'm better off with my Muggle relatives and in particular my Muggle uncle who could snap at any time and try and strangle me. Therefore, he sealed the portal to the platform and Ron and I got bored so we decided not to wait for everyone to fix the mess and just fly here.
      Draco: That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
    • And later...
      George: Besides, the Slytherin team apparently couldn't find anybody to spy as they showed up in person. And full Quidditch gear.
      Harry: Why in the world are they wearing their Quidditch robes to practice in? That has got to be the stupidest thing I've seen all day.
      Fred: All day isn't very long, Harry. It can't be more than ten.
  • Sure, Let's Go with That: Played for Laughs a couple of times.
    • When Harry's denying having been avoiding Draco:
      Draco: Are you sure? Because I seem to recall you admitting you were avoiding me sometime in November.
      Harry: Really, Draco, you do say the strangest things. Now why would I go and do a silly thing like that?
      Draco: Avoid me?
      Harry: Well, actually, I meant 'admit to avoiding you', but let's go with that. Why would I avoid you, Draco?
    • At the Quidditch World Cup:
      Sirius: Top box. It was part of my reparation. Of course, the rest of it went to buying Harry a Firebolt, but...
      Harry: You don't mind, because I'm your godson and you love me?
      Sirius: ... Let's go with that, sure.
    • Played straight with Charlie Weasley hinting about the Triwizard Tournament:
      Charlie: I might be seeing you all sooner than you think.
      Fred: Why?
      Harry: Are you going to be in Britain for Christmas?
      Charlie: ...Let's go with that.
    • Also played straight when Harry depetrefies Cedric and Draco seconds before Lucius Malfoy and Fudge walk into the infirmary; they're investigating the rumors of basilisk attacks, which Harry does not want them to find out about for various reasons, and were fed a cover story about a rogue pixie. Luckily, Cedric is quick enough on the uptake to catch Harry's hints and make up a believable story on the fly. A groggy Draco just rolls with it.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: Harry considers most of the human population to be mindless sheep.
    Ron: Harry, you've got 'I will be besieged by the stupidity of the general population' four times this month.
    Harry: Only four times? This must be a good month, then.
  • Talking Is a Free Action: After being transported to the graveyard, Cedric, Fred, and Harry discuss what to do (in place of "run like hell") before Harry stands up to face Voldemort's minion. Justified, as they knew what would probably happen and arrived quietly, with Cedric and Fred safely hidden under Harry's invisibility cloak.
  • Trickster Archetype: The first thing Harry does when meeting the Weasley twins (again) is trick them into starting a rumor, stunning them and Ron. He later encourages others to try to lose the House Cup, calling it a "Suck-up" Cup. Then there's, well, everything else he does
  • Troperiffic: Tropes are invoked, discussed and parodied all the time. Several tropes are even mentioned by name — Blatant Lies, Cannon Fodder, The Power of Love, Unexplained Recovery (by its old name, "I Got Better"), UST and Unresolved Sexual Tension (spelled both ways, in fact)...
  • Uncle Pennybags: Harry both makes and spends money far more extravagantly this time around. While he's careful not to flaunt it, he makes a point of taking opportunities to buy nice things for his friends (and at one point kicks himself for not doing this more often in the previous timeline). Getting them to accept some of those offerings is another matter, particularly with the Weasleys.
  • Unresolved Sexual Tension: Harry points out that Draco and Ron's rivalry looks suspiciously like "UST" (Hermione finds it hilarious, whereas the acronym goes right over Ron's head). He later thinks Hermione and Ron's relationship clearly falls under this as well.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Draco and Harry. See the entry for The Rival above.
  • Wham Line: When Harry realizes what caused Sirus to escape early.
    He knew what had happened now, why things had changed. Sirius had also fallen through the Veil.
  • A Wizard Did It: A couple times, when someone asks how Harry knows something, he says it's "Magic" and refuses to elaborate.
  • World of Snark: Unsurprisingly, given the source material. Harry, of course, gets to do it the most, but most of the characters, even background ones, get a few snarky lines. A special mention should probably go to Neville, given how a few changes in his first scenes make a huge difference between his canon self and what he is like in the fanfic.
  • Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Sirius calls himself the worst guardian ever after Harry dies again. Harry assures him he couldn't possibly be worse than the Dursleys were. For some reason, Sirius doesn't find this comforting.
  • Worth It:
    • Harry decides the look on Snape's face when Harry turns in a bezoar as an antidote is worth the high expense he paid for it.
    • In a rare serious example in Chapter 48, Harry has to tell himself that it's worth it to be obnoxious to Voldemort even when he's being hit by yet another Cruciatus.

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