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Fanfic / Lily And The Art Of Being Sisyphus

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In which Lily Potter is not quite a normal little girl. Her uncle Death seems to be convinced she's the grim reaper. And her ever political and invisible best friend Wizard Lenin just thinks she should take over the world. On top of all that the secret society of wizards think she's Jesus.

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus is a series of interrelated fics by The Carnivorous Muffin (who also wrote All You Need Is Love) and is the Harry Potter Crack Fic to end all Crack Fiction, and masterful satire of the Harry Potter universe. Featuring a Female!Harry (that would be Lily/Ellie). Gleefully Inverts and Averts and twists a host of tropes traditionally associated with Harry Potter Fanfiction in knots. Except when they are funnier played straight.


The main story, Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus, is supplemented by enough companion stories to warrant folders for them all...

     Side Stories 
  • Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte In which Death, Lily, and Wizard Lenin have a conversation on what, for them, is a typical Sunday afternoon.
  • A Considerable Speck In which Death wanders through memories of a past world as well as the mythos that surrounded him there.
  • Lily Riddle and the Narcotics Emporium In which Frank The Vampire, previously named Constantine, learned to stop worrying and love the anarchy produced by a rather insane little girl.
  • Helter Skelter In which Bellatrix Lestrange confronts Riddle Incorporated leading Frank The Vampire to think about the politics of the day and the addict's anthem.
  • A Weasley Family Dinner In which Bill Weasley, inconsequential human employee at Gringotts, attempts to explain to his family the recent developments at Gringotts concerning Eleanor Potter and Lily Riddle. No one really believes him.
  • A Discussion on Origins In which it's Sunday and Wizard Lenin and Lily are visiting the mysterious uncle Death but Wizard Lenin decides to spend this particular Sunday making the mysterious Death less of a mystery.
  • Ellie Potter: A Character Study In which Neville thinks about his classmate Ellie Potter and about the difference between what they thought she would be like and how she is. In the end she doesn't seem to want to live up to any of their expectations.
  • Dust of Snow In which Wizard Lenin and Lily briefly address the future in which Wizard Lenin returns to the material plane leaving Lily behind.
  • The Pettigrew Incident In which the Weasley Twins induct Lily Potter into a Secret Society and Peter Pettigrew meets a gruesome end. Not canon.
  • Pygmalion In which Hermione Granger tries and fails to shape Eleanor Lily Potter into a normal human being in the course of one morning. Not canon.
  • Ellie Potter Day In which Frank The Vampire has a long standing tradition of avoiding Halloween and in recent years Ellie Potter Day for his own health and sanity; on October 31 1987 when a determined and hungry Lily Riddle arrives at the office he finds himself breaking this trend.
  • All the Wrong Conclusions In which Snape contemplates the success and failure of his ongoing power struggle and its relation to his shattered preconceptions regarding Ellie Potter.
  • That Mysterious, Chaotic, and Wonderful Eleanor Potter In which the Weasley twins think about Ellie Potter, pranks, marriage, and being a bit out of their league but loving it anyway.
  • Little Lenin's First and Last Christmas In which Wizard Lenin tells Lily a vaguely warm-hearted Christmas themed story.
  • Mimsy were the Borogoves In which Lily, after opening the wrong doors at the wrong time, tries to describe her experience in detention with professor Quirrell and comes short of the essence of things. Not canon.
  • Oedipus On a day that never happened, but could have, in July of 1971 James Potter meets a mysterious red headed time traveler and things do not go well. Not canon.
  • Luck be a Lady In a shorter time than Harry believes possible Voldemort comes perilously close to winning the war, meanwhile Lily gets kidnapped by some cultists when mistaken for a virgin sacrifice. Not canon.
  • The Eastern Front At the tail end of the Albanian campaign Frank The Vampire and an allied Albanian vampire discuss the various impressions Lily Riddle manages to leave.
  • Eleanor Potter and the Train Station Called Purgatory Ellie Potter was never the boy who lived, she just happened to be in the same room at the same time, and yet she can't help but grow and notice that it is never Harry Potter who must fight his own demons. Not canon.
  • In the Meantime January, 1992, the Slytherin first years have their weekly meeting to discuss what to do about the now missing Ellie Potter and Daphne Greengrass wonders if there isn't something a little peculiar about Hermione Granger.
  • A Conversation with a King A dark spirit in the guise of a child confronts Aleksander, the recently appointed leader of Wizarding Albania, after the vampire revolution and they discuss the costs and benefits of confronting Lily Riddle.
  • Proposition Lily and company make Trelawney an offer she can't refuse and Trelawney, with the help of her inner eye, realizes that something's more than a little off about Eleanor Potter. Not canon.
  • The Last Harry Potter Lily and Tom Riddle discuss the aftermath of Lily's inter-dimensional adventures and the fall of the Order of the Phoenix over Jasmine tea and classical music. Not canon.
  • An Albanian Interlude Lily's Albanian warfare is briefly interrupted when Hermione Granger shows up wandering around the battlefield looking for her. Not canon.
  • Merrily We Roll Along Lily restores the memories of Hermione's parents but can't help but feel more than a bit out of place after the whole thing's done. Not canon.
  • A Chocolate for Your Thoughts A nine year old student new to his primary school wonders if it's a good idea whether or not to give the mysterious Ellie Potter chocolates for Valentine's Day.
  • Scheherazade Rabbit confronts Sally Anne Perkins in a place without time or space.
  • Default Origins Godric Gryffindor meets the time travelling Lily and together they terrorize towns with oversized poultry and wreck havoc across the countryside. Later, Lily becomes upset when she remembers that they still have that Hogwarts thing to build. Not canon.
  • River Eyes Before his revolution begins Tom Riddle reaches out to Fenrir Greyback in order to gain the support of the rogue British werewolves.
  • Bright Eyes Death reenters a seemingly familiar world in 1979 and is forced to remember that he was once Harry Potter when he befriends his father as well as to remember what it means to be human. Not canon.
  • Tuesday Before the Storm Before everything began Lenin once asked Riddle Inc. for a loan to fund his revolution; Frank reminisces.
  • The Lost Ark An ambitious and fanciful Gellert Grindelwald summons the creator of the hallows, namely Death itself. His expectations go off the rails when he ends up with a bizarre little girl instead. Not canon.
  • The Strange Case of Merlin's Identity Theft Swords, beards, Christianity, more swords, more beards, weird pregnant lady, more swords, weird old beard guy. Or, Lily ends up travelling through time and more or less accidentally stealing Merlin's identity. Not canon.
  • On the Shores of Black Lake Luna Lovegood and Rabbit discuss the newest Albanian transfer student at Hogwarts, Ellie, and how sometimes Rabbit isn't as entirely indifferent as he portrays himself to be.
  • What About Lily? Lenin and Lily casually bicker about and discuss Neville's competence in potions, friendship and how neither of them have real friends, utilitarianism and the solution of pushing fat people off of trains, glass houses, the merits of choosing not to discuss Freud, and more.
  • Wanting Things In which Death tells a story, and propels the three of them down a path unwandered, where Lily is forced to recognize the meaningless of her existence and all that she will do to keep things as they are in memory. Not canon.
  • Life in the Fast Lane A hypothetical fifteen-year-old Lily decides it's high time she learns how to drive a car so she can start attracting people like Cedric Diggory, and, as usual, she forces Wizard Lenin along for the joy ride. Not canon.
  • Paradoxical Meanderings In a world in which Lily herself cannot possibly exist, she contemplates the events that brought her there, as well as her relationship to a younger alternate Wizard Lenin and her own role in his new world order. Not canon.
  • The Hogwarts Host Club Lily, after being swarmed by Lenin Rabbitson's fans one too many times, comes up with the farfetched solution to all of their fan girl woes by creating a club of beautiful men to entertain the prepubescent ladies. Not canon.
  • The Pit of Man's Fears and Summit of his Knowledge Once, perhaps, Rabbit ate Scotland.
  • When Lily Met Lily After her disastrous, and rather fuzzy, confrontation with Trotsky in 1992, Lily finds herself vaulted back into Little Whinging six years earlier, to a time and place where Lily and Wizard Lenin had only just met and have everything still before them. Naturally, she decides advice is warranted. Not canon.
  • Blue Skies on Mars At the end of Morgan's dream, the dead Kuato, played by none other than the strange boy from the arcade in the body of a Martian mutant comes to speak about self, memory, and Tom Riddle.
  • Morilden A little mermaid, dreaming of a world above the surface which reflects the hope she has in mankind, once meets a little prince dreaming of kingship, honor, and glory. However, like the sun glimmering on the surface of the sea, sometimes dreams, while beautiful, cannot be held in one's hands. Not canon. Spin-off.
  • Mr Weasley Goes to Riddle Incorporated Bill Weasley, human Gringotts employee, is sent out to make nice with Lily Riddle's vampires and find out what the blazes is going on in Albania. There he meets an unaccommodating Frank.
  • The Night Before the Morning After After driving a very expensive car to attract men ended in pitiful failure a desperate Lily goes back to the drawing board, and then desperately takes up Lenin's advice. Fortunately or not, it goes off the rails. Not canon.
  • The Heir of Slytherin Once, in the early Fall of 1992, Eleanor Lily Potter had a chance to slay a basilisk before the chamber could be opened. Without the heir of Slytherin Lockhart decides to direct a play, Lily struggles with homework, and Wizard Trotsky must come up with a plan b. Not canon.
  • There's Got to be a Morning After In which, in a moment of blind panic, Lily remembers that she got drunk and had sex with somebody but the question is if it was Draco Malfoy or someone more appealing. Not canon.
  • What I Choose to Believe December 1992, after Hogwarts breaks for the holidays during a frightful term, Luna Lovegood goes out of her way to interview Frank the vampire.
  • The Wonderful Lives of Godric and Salazar In a fit of desperation in a hypothetical Triwizard Tournament, Lily summons the founders from the dead to prove that setting dragons on students is crossing some sort of line. Not canon.
  • A Lost Conversation In the place before and after all worlds ever existed, Lily and Rabbit share a one-sided conversation.


Main Story

  • Minato Namikaze and the Destroyer of Worlds On October 10th when the Kyuubi no Kitsune ravages Konoha, Namikaze Minato unwittingly makes a bargain with Death. Years earlier, his life is rewritten when the overpowered, bizarre, and possibly alien Eleanor Lily Potter arrives at Konoha's orphanage and quickly becomes his best friend.

Side Stories

  • The Temptation of Desperate Men In which, in an act of desperation, Madara chooses an apprentice much sooner than he expected before Konoha can become more absurd and more dangerous. Unfortunately, he chooses the first one he finds, which happens to be the overpowered and socially oblivious Eru Lee. Not canon.
  • It's a Wonderful Life After the disastrous confrontation with Lee's assailant during their first C-rank Lee teleports herself and Minato to an unfamiliar Konoha decades in the future. There they are forced to confront the world where Lee doesn't exist and Lee's own growing illness. Not canon.
  • A Brief Parlor Comedy with Divine and Terrifying Beings Kurama, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, has his first impression of Eru Lee and concludes that humans are not only idiots but also great fools. Lee also sticks her foot into her mouth slightly more than she normally does in any given conversation. Not canon.
  • C-Beams off the Tannhauser Gate Emotional Support Lee's initial attempt of death by river fails and she's left to wander and find a new means of either fulfilling her existence or dying. She meets a few interesting people along the way.
  • English Vacation Jiraiya gets a hold of Lee's Hogwarts Admission Letter and team 7, plus retired hokage, go off to investigate Lee's origins. Meanwhile Lee becomes frustrated that no one besides her seems to realize that reality is in fact a giant illusion that is in the process of breaking apart. Not canon.
  • Eru Lee's Fantastic Adventures in Flatland Team seven, Tobirama, and now Orochimaru make their return to the mysterious land of England and find it even more bizarre and alien than they had previously thought. To the point where they are forced to wonder if Eru Lee wasn't right all along. Not canon.
  • Lee's Search for Christmas Spirit It's December 25th and Eru Lee is spending the day delivering presents to all of her favorite acquaintances and friends. However, she finds herself distracted by thoughts of the Shinigami and her own uncertain relationship to him. Not canon.
  • Fathers and Fishcakes Panicking in the middle of the plant zombie battle, Eru Lee accidentally whisks team seven and the nidaime decades into an alternate dimension's future. There they discover a few of the surprising elements to this other world while the other world discovers a few aspects of Eru Lee. Not canon.
  • Usagi Lee wakes up one morning to discover another Konoha she never knew existed as well as an altered, strangely terrifying, Minato. Later, she is forced to be accountable for actions she only barely remembers having taken.
  • Becoming Minako After having their first child, and a rather eventful and destructive nine months, Lee decides that for the safety of Konoha and the happiness of Minato she has no choice but to switch their genders. Minato doesn't appreciate it at all. Not canon.
  • The Many Minds of Eru Lee After his failed attack on the Potters, Tom Riddle finds himself in a strange land populated by the omnipresent, childish, doppelganger of Lily Evans and finds himself mostly unnerved, irritated, and very confused.
  • How I Met Your Other Mother Kushina tells the tale of how she, single handedly, managed to seduce both Lee and Minato at the same time to her impressionable (if horrified) children. Not canon.
  • Isn't the World Beautiful The saga of Emotional Support Lee continues as she questions what it means to find completion and emotional contentment.
  • The Scent of Summer Death, having agreed to immigrate to Konoha with Eru Lee, contemplates his surroundings and his adolescent counterpart. Not canon.
  • Something Warm and Tender Jiraiya, apparently, has foisted a few of his duties as a sensei onto Sakumo and now it's up to him to teach Lee and Minato about some of the facts of life, and why it's not such a great idea for them to share a bedroom. Not canon.
  • The Entropy of Lee The sannin plus Sakumo once again find themselves holed up in Jiraiya's apartment drinking away their Lee troubles at Jiraiya's behest. Meanwhile, Jiraiya wonders why it's always at his place, and why they can't ever seem to do normal people things like going to restaurants or checking out ladies in bathhouses.
  • The Flubbed Line Caught in a nefarious trap, when an enemy flubs his line, Lee proceeds to rant about English politics, her apprentice Itachi's complete lack of suave, Obito and Kakashi's suaveness by comparison, and how no one appreciates James Bond films as much as she does. Not canon.
  • Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear? Minato tries, and mostly fails, to ask Lee on a date. Not canon.
  • The Tale of Ren When a red-headed girl appears out of nothingness, bleeding out in his bedroom, and declares herself to be a ninja of Konoha, eight-year-old Tom Riddle decides that his needs are best served in a place other than England. Not canon.
  • Meet the Godfather When Sirius Black falls through the veil of death, he makes a brief pitstop in Konoha, where neither Lee nor Minato are in any way happy to see him. Not canon.
  • Die Hogwarts In which Lee, after her disastrous second confrontation with the plant zombies, unwittingly reenacts Die Hard in 1997's occupied Hogwarts while trying to reenact staples of the Western genre. Naturally, it goes poorly for everyone involved. Not canon.
  • It Must be Tuesday Jiraiya, returning from a mission without the usual team seven tagging along with him, finds himself returning to what in any other village would be an unprecedented disaster but in Konoha is more or less an average day with Eru Lee hanging around. Perhaps that should be a bad sign. Not canon.
  • Eru Lee and the Temple of Doom Jiraiya and Minato, on returning to Konoha, discover that their beloved hidden village now has a Jashinist problem. Predictably, it's all Lee's fault. Not canon.
  • The Trees are Greener After his attempt to resurrect the deceased hokages, messing with time, space, as well as death itself, Eru Lee's Konoha finds itself cast into Uzumaki Naruto's Konoha. After disposing and making an example of Orochimaru, the various casts eye themselves and briefly explore the overwhelming differences between both worlds. Not canon.
  • Reports of Izuna's Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated In a far off day in a hypothetical future Lee and Tobirama manage to create a truly alarming paradox that will destroy their past. But, on the other hand, can you really expect anything less from Eru Lee? Not canon.
  • The Fresh Prince of Bachelors This is a story all about how Lee's life gets flipped, turned upside down, or more importantly how she comes to a few realizations and makes a few interesting choices. Not canon.
  • The Dark Yakumo Saga A bored and desperate adult jonin Eru Lee, deprived of chunin apprentices and children, demands a new student to distract her from the tedium that is peacetime in Konoha. Yondaime hokage, Minato, coincidentally, has just been petitioned by the Kurama clan head to assign a tutor to the problematic clan heir. Not canon.
  • On the Street Where You Live Sometimes the village gives truly ridiculous and truly invasive missions, however, Lee's bored, a tad lonely, apprentice-less, and perhaps needing a mission or two to point her in new directions. If Tobirama is the same, then so much the better. Not canon.
  • A Round of Butterbeers In 1945, a pair of strange and violent transfer students from Japan come to Hogwarts claiming to be assassins. Tom can't decide if he's unimpressed, jealous, or perhaps even a tad on edge of Minato Namikaze or Lee Eru. Not canon.
  • The Sunset Prince Once, perhaps, before travelling onward to meet Namikaze Minato, Eru Lee decided to stop in Uzushio and meet the girl who would one day be his wife. Not canon.
  • An Interlude with Gellert and Lee Between scenes in The Tale of Ren we catch a glimpse of an unseen interactions between Lee and Gellert Grindelwald.
  • They're All Child Soldiers On a day that never happened, Sirius Black falls through the veil of death and onto Ichiraku's ramen stand in Konoha, where he meets what could have been his goddaughter in a world he'd never want Harry to live in. Not canon.
  • The Dream Called Konoha Eru Lee, after her disastrous battle with plant zombies, finds herself back in time in the clan war era creating paradoxes left and right. Tobirama tries to adjust to the new world order. Not canon.
  • Noble Intentions and Jilted Almost Lovers After having ended up in a relationship with Lee, Tobirama is confronted by Minato. Not canon.
  • Boy Troubles Tequila Weasley, who was once not so long ago known as Tom Riddle, finds himself in a bit of a bind as he has to explain quidditch to a very confused Lee.


  • Lily and Lee and Everything in Between Lee briefly battles her civilian English counterpart over the fate of the English shinobi and they come to a certain understanding of each other and how different they truly are.
  • Finishing the Hat Feeling out of place in Konoha, Lee begins an exploration department in Konoha, taking her apprentice Obito with her on an expedition to another dimension a long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away. There, she confronts the strange shinobi culture there and their disdain for attachment.
  • The Paths Unchosen In a possible future, Anakin chooses to become a shinobi, and Padme is left trying to understand exactly what this means. Not canon.
  • The Number of Licks to Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop On the ship ride from Tatooine to Coruscant, Lee and Obito continue their card game in Obi-Wan's absence, and wax nostalgia about genin days long since past as well as Kakashi being... Kakashi.
  • Eru Lee and the Sundance Kid Instead of going to the Star Wars universe, the unwitting Eru Lee and Uchiha Obito stumble into a strange almost medieval world filled with immortal and terrifying hunter nin, clever half-sized shinobi with the all consuming goal of getting lucky, and the worst kage ever.
  • Choices Anakin, in some other time and place, wins a pod race he was always supposed to win and becomes a jedi. Years later, after the republic has fallen, Lee Eru dares to show her face again.
  • The Sunlight of Some Other World Travelling back in time from a dystopic future and the destruction of Konoha, Lee and Obito make the acquaintance then become friends with a young Steve Rogers while they simultaneously prepare to fight a war whose fronts stretch into infinity.
  • The End of an Era In which the Force, for his own reasons, chooses to reveal himself to the jedi council and save Obi-Wan Kenobi from expulsion.
  • Deus Ex Machina Lee, sent on a mission of unknown length which cannot be avoided, sends the man she once thought was her father to train Obito in her place.

  • The World that Never Was Thomas Evans and Harry Potter meet a red headed girl claiming to be an alternated version of Harry Potter from a reality where a rabbit has devoured England. It leads to quite a few odd conversations.
  • Lily and the Art of Divine Responsibility After meeting a being Azrael claims is God he decides to ask Tom for advice, they end up getting hopelessly drunk instead. In the meantime Lily tries out being God and it goes about as well as you would expect it to.
  • Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun The birth and death of a people, as seen from the eyes of the head priest on Pluto, and the aftermath of the destruction of a world where Lily fails to find meaning for herself within Hogwarts or outside of it.
  • The Labor of Light Yagami The Death King pays Light a visit after claiming the universe has been eaten by a terrifying being called Rabbit and Light finds that he doesn't appreciate any of it. Lily, for her own part, struggles to define what it is to be a god.
  • Oceania America and Russia's decade long feuding has finally produced a love child, the terrifying and overpowered Eleanor Lily Potter, otherwise known as the girl-who-lived.
  • Under the Shadow of the Clock Tower Link wanders through worlds, times, life, and death to appear in a train station where Death offers him tea and conversation.
  • Children Will Listen Harry Potter meets a strange woman with red hair in the train station between life and death. Together, they discuss his worth as a human being and the merit in leaving behind a world that is burning.
  • Lily and Lee and Everything in Between Lee briefly battles her civilian English counterpart over the fate of the English shinobi and they come to a certain understanding of each other and how different they truly are.
  • The Wasteland The One True Ring, on his perilous odyssey back to Mordor, becomes acquainted with Eleanor Lily Potter and slowly begins to question the meaning of his own existence.
  • My Immortal Lily and the Art of Bringing Me to Life On what seems like an ordinary day in Hogwarts Lily and company find themselves in a surreal reality that seems to hinge entirely on a strange transfer student by the name of Ebony Way. Now, with reality tearing at the seams, Lily must find a way to save the universe before everything she knows and loves sinks into a goffick abyss.
  • The Shadows our Souls Wear A story about Lily and her surprisingly human daemon, Lenin, what it means to be both great and terrible, and how to navigate through a world that doesn't seem inclined to remain sane.
  • In the Garden of Eden While Hogwarts is succumbing to the gothic will of Ebony Way and the Satanist death of the universe, Frank and company trudge on and wonder if wizards aren't stranger than they previously thought.
  • And You, Boromir? Lily and Wizard Lenin, in the middle of walking across Middle Earth, contemplate their companions and Boromir's remarkable similarity to Ron Weasley.
  • A Mars Without Gondolas After choosing his own life over the wellbeing of his world, the fused Ring and Lily, come across Lily's doppelganger and a man achingly similar to Death in the barren wastelands of Mars.
  • Ozymandias Jasper Whitlock faces his death at the hands of the destroyer of worlds and wonders if, after he has perished, if there will be anything left of them.
  • The Demiurge The year is 1996 and in a strange, incomprehensible, action on the part of the grail itself Eleanor Lily Potter is summoned as a servant in the grail war.
  • The Black Lodge Drunk on the wine of the king of heroes, Lily dreams of red rooms and saxophones.
  • Wearing the Faces of Men When Wizard Lenin and Lily mysteriously find themselves in the Pokémon universe in Lily's second year, the pair are forced into becoming Pokémon trainers, and they, along with Ash Ketchum, travel on their journey to become Pokémon masters even as they search for a means to get home.
  • Think About the Sun All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts. Lily, as the Lead Player and conductor of this strange stage we call life, presents the play of Tom Riddle's life, with a glorious unseen finale.
  • A Gym Leader Covets Once, in a future that does not happen, Lily steps foot into Saffron City and Sabrina begins a stilted conversation.
  • The Wine of Gods After the events of the fourth grail war, Gilgamesh and Severus Snape have a conversation.
  • Oh the Pokémanity! In an odd turn of events, Lily unwittingly anthropomorphizes her cuddly Pokémon friends Pikachu and Clefairy in the real world. Ash, Lily, and company then must come to grips with their newly human companions while their newly human companions try to come to grips with themselves.
  • The Shadow of God's Pale Hands In which before falling out of a tree Eleanor Lily Potter stumbles across a bloodstained goban and meets the wandering spirit trapped inside.
  • Rabbit's Progeny When someone other than Rabbit devours Scotland and transforms it into a hellscape, Lily, Wizard Lenin, and Rabbit follow the yellow brick road which leads them to a surprising source.
  • A Matter of Faith and Will In which, in his search for God, Castiel comes across the strange woman Eleanor Lily Potter in England and the two discuss the universe, the end, faith, the demiurge, and the price and meaning of freedom.
  • The Will of Heaven Only a year after Lily's participation in the fourth holy grail war in Fuyuki Japan, in the summer of 1997 Lily, Wizard Lenin, and Gilgamesh are summoned to an alternate dimension in Romania to battle in a holy war for the fate of the greater grail and consequently the freedom and hope of all mankind.
  • A Divine Crawler In a world of caped crusaders and villains, all parahuman Eleanor Lily Potter wants to do is go to the zoo.
    • Crossover with Worm
  • Lily's Postponed Babylonian Vacation It's Halloween night and Lily tries and fails to explain what she got up to over the summer of 1996, then of course, Gilgamesh shows up to explain for her.
  • The (K)im PossibilitiesDoctor Drakken's latest weapon fires off on Kim with surprising results. A short while later, Lily tries and fails to understand why some blue guy is interrupting her breakfast.
  • The Hubris of Dragons Against all possibilities, Indil finds himself thrown back in time and facing a dragon he had once stared down on a hobbit's finger.
  • Maybe Next Time A look at a world in which Lily does play the role of a pokémon.
  • We'll Shine After a thousand years and the end of the world, Death steps off the train and into a Hogwarts that isn't Hogwarts at all. One that already has another Death inside it.
  • The Outlander Marooned on a strange, desert, world once inhabited by the progenitors of mankind, the alien priest Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun must make use of the ill-fated Prometheus and its crew while searching for the answers that Lily believes he should seek.
  • We're All Tom Riddle Here Tom Riddle, after the events of The Unwinding Golden Thread, finds himself in an empty barren world which consists only of Tom Riddles.
  • The Melancholy of Tom Riddle Tom Riddle, on entering Hogwarts, meets a strange overpowered girl who claims this isn't the first world that's ever existed while he contends with the truth that he is not at the heart of the universe.

Not to be confused with the fanfic Sisyphus which is a Peggy Sue.


This story provides examples of:

  • Ambiguous Innocence: Lily. Where she falls in any given spectrum of morality or 'innocence' is up in the air. A major factor in this is her Dark and Troubled Past. Some aspects mean she's a bit closer to Obliviously Evil.
  • Anachronic Order: The side stories are not told in any particular order, and their relation to 'canon' is tenuous, at best. They are mostly there because the author thought they were funny and couldn't fit them into the main plot.
  • Anthropomorphic Personification: It's not quite played straight, but essentially Lily is the anthropomorphic personification of Death.
  • Ascended Extra/Breakout Character: Constantine- better known as Frank The Vampire -has become so popular that the author has expressed interest in writing a spin-off series about him.
  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: In a similar vein to Lily's ambiguous innocence despite being the narrator Lily's perspective of the world is so warped that it's difficult to label her actions with any morality scheme.
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  • A Boy and His X: Averted by Lily and Rabbit. Lily certainly keeps Rabbit close, but that's more out of the concern he'll eat Scotland if left unsupervised. Possibly Zig-Zagged later on when Rabbit isn't in bunny form any longer, though Rabbit has always been an Eldritch Abomination.
  • Broken Bird: Hermione, after the events of Christmas 1991.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Lily. As Wizard Lenin puts it at one point — "Of course, you may never truly understand people. Perhaps you're simply not capable of it, as they will never understand you, you will never fully understand them."
  • Crack Fic: Death being Lily's long-lost Uncle is the most believable and low-key element.
  • Crazy Cat Lady: According to Lily, if you have a cat, you are obviously insane. Thus her opinion of Mrs. Figg...
  • Creepy Child: Lily is... a little different, and everyone notices. It's part of what isolates her.
  • Cynicism Catalyst: To Hermione, the events of Christmas 1991, which made her lose all faith in authority figures.
  • Death: Apparently Lily's Uncle. May or may not be the actual canon Harry Potter.
    • Lily herself.
  • Driven to Suicide: Played for laughs. Over and over again.
  • Drugs Are Bad: Voldemort apparently kept his followers in line and loyal using narcotics. And, also, bizarrely, it seems that a future version of Lily from the past sold them to him.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Lily, again.
    • It is implied that Death has one as well although this has yet to be made clear.
  • Eldritch Abomination: Rabbit, as Lily insists. He might eat Scotland if left unsupervised.
  • For the Lulz: Lily does much of what she does because she's curious, some of it because her upbringing, or lack thereof, means she sees nothing wrong with it (and is very confused when people try to correct her), but the majority of it is because she's bored. As Severus Snape learns the hard way.
  • Have We Met Yet?: This is how Lily met Frank, an encounter which lead her to assume the identity of the drug lord Lily Riddle, who has been all but confirmed to be a time-travelling Lily Potter.
    Frank: So... I guess you're back from vacation.
  • Humanoid Abomination: Lily eventually forces Rabbit into a human form, he makes for a mostly passable human but he, for example, can Ret-Gone people and things, has set up a dorm in the Uncanny Valley, and the things he talks about all show that he isn't human at all.
  • Insistent Terminology: Wizard Lenin attempts to assert he has a name early on, but neither Death, nor Lily call him by it. Lily insists he is Wizard Lenin, and he is never addressed as anything else by the narration.
    • Frank The Vampire's real name is Constantine. Not that he ever got Lily to call him that.
    • Lily insists on calling her magic Glitches no matter how many times everyone else calls it magic. Well, considering her theories on why magic exists at all...
    • Quirrell The Squirrel.
  • Little Miss Badass: Lily, naturally.
  • The Masquerade: Lily is consistently confused by this, and sees no point in it's continuation. However, she gives up on breaking it down once everyone gets zapped with memory charms.
  • Obliviously Evil: Lily is almost never malicious, mostly she just has a very, very skewed perspective of the world- what with the Sunday afternoon suicides to visit Death and Wizard Lenin sealed in her mind and all.
  • Reality Warper: Lily. To her, the rules of physics and magic are no more than guidelines, which she is more than happy to disregard.
  • Ret-Gone: This is what happens to things and people Rabbit eats, such as the ghosts of Hogwarts and later Sally-Anne Perkins.
  • Rule of Funny: The story runs on the idea of absurdism and poking holes in the logical fallacies of the series.
  • Shout-Out: The story makes frequent references to many things most falling into a few categories: science fiction and fantasy, literature, history, and violent eighties action films.
    • A few of the recurring references are Lenin, the Hindenburg zeppelin disaster, and 1984 although there are many others.
  • Time Abyss: Uncle Death, who has been alive long enough to witness the end of his universe.
  • Time Machine: On her fisrt day of class in second year, Lily built a time-turner, which she promptly used to relive monday several times, thought she mentioned she didn't actually need it to time-travel.
  • Troll: Lily gleefully sets out to drive Severus Snape irrevocably insane.

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