Fanfic / Fullmetal Lol

Fullmetal Lol is a particularly crack-tastic fanfic by Nimrochan. It can be found here. Perhaps one of the best crack-fics written about the Fullmetal Alchemist series, the premise has Ed constantly drunk and Al as the only brother with the least bit of sense, looking to discover the powers of the mysterious Internet. It Makes Sense in Context...maybe.

This work provides examples of:

• Adaptation Name Change: The Homunculi are given the names of "modern" sins. Lust becomes STD, Gluttony becomes Fatass, Envy becomes Spam, Greed becomes The Situation...

• Ambiguously Gay: Envy/Spam, considering he not only looks but also sometimes acts like a girl.
• Amusing Injuries: Paninya takes Ed's kidneys, STD chops off Fat-Ass's head, and Winry's demon-head, just to name a few...all played for laughs.

• Berserk Button:
  • Ed's canon outrage over being called short only comes up one time when he calls himself short.
  • Winry grows a second, demonic head that tears out Ed's entrails whenever Ed wrecks his automail.
  • Spam really seems to hate it when people mistake him for a girl.
• Black Comedy: There have been jokes made about underage drinking, steroid use, eating disorders, and Ling's opium.
• Butt-Monkey: Spam's pretty much always the butt of a gender-confusion/gay joke or getting hacked (or otherwise injured) by Ling.

• Cloud Cuckoolander: Ed, Roy, Winry, Ling...pretty much everyone, actually. Even Riza and Al have their moments.

• Cool and Unusual Punishment: Roy Mustang punishing Ed with a vuvuzella.
  • Mustang's subordinates rearranging the furniture in his office, causing him to have "heavy diarrhea," by disrupting the principles of feng shui. That is, until he discovers Pepto Bismol.
  • The author punishes herself after a Firestorm of Lame Fire-puns by reading The Twilight Saga!
• Cute and Psycho: Winry. She has a second head that tears out Ed's organs whenever he wrecks his automail.

• Drunken Master: Invoked by Ed at least once. Whether or not he is one...well, we have yet to see him sober.
• Dude Looks Like a Lady: Envy...well, Spam in this case, gets mistaken for a girl constantly. He hates it.
  Ed: Dude, you're like the *hic* hottest chick I've ever seen!
  • It doesn't help that he apparently acts like one, which kind of makes you wonder...

• Genre Savvy: Riza in Chapter 20:
  Liza: Shall we split up in pairs?
  Havoc: Oh, no no no. I've seen this in too many horror movies. We're in the dark basement of a lab, chasing a monster. If we split up in pairs, someone's going to die.
  Liza: It's okay, Jean, we're blond.

• Gratuitous Japanese: Alphonse referring to his brother as "Nii-san"
• Hurricane of Incredibly Embarrassing Nicknames: Mustang keeps calling Riza various nicknames like "Lieutenant Dove liver" or "Lieutenant Ostrich Belly".

• Insult Backfire: Kind of...in Chapter 21:
  Armstrong: AND THEN RAYMOND HAD TO PRETEND TO ENJOY THE COOKING, LEST DEBORAH MADE HIM SLUMBER UPON THE SOFA ONCE MORE.
  Edward: Maybe if I get off this horse and lay in the sun, I'll die of heat stroke and my suffering will end.
  Armstrong: I AM SERIOUS, EDWARD, LET US WATCH THE SHOW TOGETHER SOME DAY. IT IS MOST ENJOYABLE.
  Edward: That sounds about as appealing as a prostate exam.
  Armstrong: SOME PEOPLE LIKE PROSTATE EXAMS, EDWARD.

• Large Ham: Major Armstrong, as per usual:
  Armstrong: MAJOR ALEXANDER LUIS ARMSTRONG, AT YOUR SERVICE, SIR.
  Roy: Why are you yelling?
  Armstrong: IT'S THE STEROIDS, SIR. THEY MAKE ME VERY ANGRY.

• Narm: Deliberately invoked when Maes Hughes dies, which basically turned one of the most gut-wrenching scenes in the original series into one of the most hilarious instances of For Inconvenience, Press "1"!

• No Indoor Voice: MAJOR ALEXANDER LOUIS ARMSTRONG! But that's because of the steroids...
• Only a Flesh Wound: Repeatedly. Obviously done with the homunculi because their Philosopher's Stones Internet gives them extra lives. Also happens with a few human characters too:
  STD: How are you doing this? You should be bleeding to death from that wound!
  Roy: I put a band-aid on it.

• Shout-Out:
  • "OREGANO IS PEOPLE!"
  • Lan Fan and Fu are now Pokémon, apparently.
  • Don't forget Bender!Al
  • Or Greed The Situation.
• Take That!: Many, many examples of this toward Two and a Half Men. The author probably doesn't like the show.

• Weaksauce Weakness: Roy Mustang is heavily affected by the balance of his office furniture^note According to the standards of feng shui, and his subordinates use this against him a lot. Then he discovers Pepto Bismol.

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