Civil War Hulk
is a fanfiction written by Michael Weyer
. Following the formula of the What If? series by Marvel, the story has Hulk and his Warbound arriving back in New York as the Civil War between the Pro-Registration forces (led by Iron Man) and the Anti-Registration forces (commanded by Captain America) reaches its climax. As the two sides are forced to ally against this new threat, the secret behind what's really been setting of the War is revealed...
This work provides examples of:
- A Glass of Chianti: Loki enjoys both a nice glass of wine...and a war.
- Adapted Out: Why neither Amadeus Cho nor The Sentry are involved with this story. The writer is not a big fan of either character.
- Armor-Piercing Question:
- While comparing the ongoing Hulk’s invasion and rampage through New York City, Civil War, and Peter Parker being Spider-Man all along, Robbie Robertson tells this to Jonah:Jonah: "Robbie, I'm just trying to do what I know to do."Robbie : "But you have to accept that you're not always right, Jonah, just like Stark and Richards." (waves at window) "You see what that's led to, Jonah. You want to find something like that happening to you?"
- Captain America to Warbound during final battle, in light of Miek’s deception and Banner-less!Hulk becoming world-threatening:"So which is it going to be? Help us or let another world be destroyed?"
- While comparing the ongoing Hulk’s invasion and rampage through New York City, Civil War, and Peter Parker being Spider-Man all along, Robbie Robertson tells this to Jonah:
- Armor-Piercing Response:
- After giving What the Hell, Hero? speech about tricking and sending Hulk into deep space and Richards’ attempt to defend his actions, Ben Grimm to Reed :Ben: "What I seen, Reed," (points a finger) "Is that what I've always feared has finally happened."Reed: "What's that?"Ben: "You and old Doomsie finally have a lot in common."
- After Thunderbolts and Dr Octopus rejected Tony Stark's offer to fight Hulk, Karla Sofen/Moonstone to Stark :Moonstone: "You know, Stark, I find it so ironic that you're the one who led this doom to us."Tony: "You don't judge me, Sofen."Moonstone: "No wonder you and Zemo managed to work together so well. You're really not that much different."
- While discussing Jonah Jameson’s obsession about Spider-Man and reveal of Peter Parker’s Spider-Man secret identity, Robbie says this to Jonah:Jonah: "He made a fool of me, Robbie."Robbie: "No, he just gave you an audience."[...]Robbie: "Jonah, your attitude toward these heroes has helped lead to this act."
- After giving What the Hell, Hero? speech about tricking and sending Hulk into deep space and Richards’ attempt to defend his actions, Ben Grimm to Reed :
- Asshole Victim:
- When Hulk kills the Green Goblin by ripping the villain literally in half, it's a shock to all, but even Spider-Man isn't going to complain about it.
- Emil Blonsky's/Abomination’s ultimate fate by Hulk's hands in arena.
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Author Appeal The Main reason of why Hawkeye is brought back from the dead. - Batman Gambit: Loki pulls off an impressive one. He and Baron Mordo were the ones who caused the Scarlet Witch to throw a shit fit and influenced Tony Stark into banishing the Hulk; Mordo ran interference, disguised as Doctor Strange. Loki then killed Maria Hill and has been impersonating her during the entire Civil War to drive further wedges between heroes. Once the superheroes were either dead or incapacitated, they would take over the planet. He just did not count on Thor surviving Ragnarok.
- Big Damn Heroes: Thor and the Warriors Three return to personally deal with Loki.
- Bittersweet Ending: New York is saved, but both Maria Hill and Siryn are dead, Spidey's identity is still public, Tony and Reed's reputations have taken a serious hit following the fiasco, the Hood has begun recruiting imprisoned supervillains, and Daredevil reveals Skrull!Elektra's body to Cap and Tony, indicating the Skrulls have are already moving forward with their plans. On the flip side, Bruce Banner is free from the Hulk, J. Jonah Jameson has dropped the lawsuit against Peter Parker who's still married to Mary Jane, Norman Osborn is dead, the Superhuman Registration Act is no longer mandatory, and both Captain America and Aunt May are still alive.
- Broken Pedestal: Tony Stark and Reed Richards in the eyes of Pro-Registration heroes and general USA public, following the reveal of their blasting Hulk into space. The President of USA even lampshades it when confronting Maria Hill Loki after giving a temporary pardon to Anti-Registration heroes and full command to Captain America:"Hill, right now, my opinion of Stark and Reed Richards has taken a severe nose dive, so don't try using them to sway me. We've got 23 hours before all Hell breaks loose so keep your attitude in place and do your job or I find someone who can."
- But Now I Must Go: Thor leaves after the final battle to keep looking for Asgardians.
- Call-Back: Captain America also brings up the time Spider-Man beat Firelord, to which Hawkeye expresses disbelief toward.
- When Juggernaut appears at the Xavier Institute:She-Hulk: Never thought I'd be happy to see Jugghead again.Luke Cage: Oh? Hoping he'd give you a booty call?She-Hulk: I NEVER SLEPT WITH THE JUGGERNAUT!
- When Juggernaut appears at the Xavier Institute:
- Came Back Strong:
- Like in World War Hulk, the Hulk returns to Earth, stronger and angrier than he's ever been.
- When Thor returns from Ragnarok, it's noted that he's even stronger than he was before, since he's matching an even stronger Hulk who isn't restrained by Banner anymore.
- Come with Me If You Want to Live: The Punisher says this in one scene.Falcon: You've been dying to say that for years, haven't you?
- Dead All Along: Maria Hill, as it's Loki who is impersonating her.
- Deadpan Snarker: Spidey and Hawkeye, full stop.
- Didn't Think This Through: Spider-Man, of course, when he grabs onto the Hulk's neck.Spider-Man: I got him! I got him!...What the heck do I do now?
- Did You Actually Believe...?: Loki and Mordo reveal that they made dream spell, instead of Wanda Maximoff’s remaking the reality with the House of M and M-Day, while Avengers thought that was all Wanda’s doing.Mordo (after he and Loki share a laugh): "I have to admit, I haven't laughed so hard in ages when you all so easily accepted that a mere mutant was able to totally restructure reality."
- The Dragon: Baron Mordo acts at this for Loki's plans in his schemes.
- Enemy Mine: Hulk and the Warbound showing up at the Civil War's climatic battle causes this between the Pro and Anti-Registration forces to side with each other as they have a much, much, bigger problem now.
- Et Tu, Brute?: Jennifer Walters’ reaction to Leader’s explanation on Leonard Samson's conspiring with Reed Richards and Tony Stark in launching Bruce Banner/Hulk into space, although Samson wasn't confronted with that."Oh, Walters, Walters, Walters. For a lawyer, you are amazingly optimistic about people. Didn't it ever occur to you that this little gathering would need some help figuring out the right way to lure Banner up there? Who better to give that than the man who knew Banner so well?" It would seem the Hippocratic Oath doesn't extend to the gamma powered."
- Everyone Has Standards: Ben Grimm/The Thing has no fond feelings for Hulk, whom he often clashed against, but even he was shocked and disgusted at Reed Richards (along with Stark) for tricking Bruce Banner/Hulk and sending him into the deep space.
- General Ripper: General Thunderbolt Ross, in top form as always.
- Got the Call on Speed Dial: Fed up with Stark's antics, and with Maria Hill missing, the President calls in Nick Fury to command SHIELD once again, granting him a pardon in the process.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: Hulk rips the Green Goblin in half.
- I Did What I Had to Do: Iron Man's main defense when questioned why he had Hulk shot into space. After a while, not even he's sure about this excuse anymore.
- Incoming Ham: Thor's big return.Thor: I SAY THEE NAY!
- I Warned You: Namor’s exact words to Reed Richards over his and Stark’s and Strange’s scheme of launching Bruce Banner/Hulk into deep space, while verbally chewing him out and rejecting to help heroes against Hulk’s invasion army.
- Jerkass Has a Point: J. Jonah Jameson totally blames Tony Stark and Reed Richards and holds them responsible for Hulk vengeance-induced rampage through New York, (AFTER his previous supporting Stark’s and Richards’ Pro-Registration politics), the ONLY thing Robbie didn't argue with Jameson about.
- Literal Split Personality: Loki splits the Hulk and Banner into separate entities with his magic, leaving the heroes facing an even stronger and more enraged Hulk.
- Mass "Oh, Crap!":
- The Pro and Anti-Registration forces when Hulk shows up in the midst of battle.
- The X-Men, X-Factor and Captain America's forces when Hulk kills Siryn.
- The good guys when Baron Mordo separates the Hulk from Bruce Banner.
- Morton's Fork:
- She-Hulk to The Leader: Give up a cell sample, or I give you to the Hulk. This is after she told him that her cousin ripped the Goblin in two.
- The Hulk to the world: surrender the Illuminati or all Hell will break loose.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Basically the reaction of the Warbound when Banner realises that Miek is the real reason Sakaar was destroyed, Rogers confronting the rest of the team with the fact that they're going after a world that literally never did them any harm.
- Mythology Gag: The final scene has Bruce Banner, now free of the Hulk, walking down an empty road and the "end notes" state the reader can imagine a melancholy piano tune playing in the background...
- "Not So Different" Remark: Ben Grimm/Thing comparing Reed Richards to Dr. Doom; Karla Sofen/Moonstone equalizing Tony Stark and Baron Zemo.
- Oh, Crap!:
- Loki shits his pants when his big brother shows up. He gets another one when Thor decides to deal with him personally.
- Captain America when he realizes that Hulk is heading for the Xavier Institute.
- The Leader is shocked when She-Hulk tells him what her cousin did to Osborn. ("So just imagine what he's going to do to someone he really hates.")
- Captain America and Iron Man both get one when Daredevil shows up with Skrull!Electra's body, foreshadowing the events of Secret Invasion.
- Point of Divergence:
- The premise of the story is that Hulk and the Warbound showed up earlier on Earth, more specifically during the climatic battle between the Pro-Registration and Anti-Registration forces. This completely halts the war as everyone realizes they now have a bigger problem on their hands.
- Once it's revealed that Maria Hill is Dead All Along, after hearing no contact from her, the President gets fed up and decides to pardon Nick Fury to command SHIELD again, citing they need them at their best
- Jameson realize from Hulk's invasion he made a mistake, just like Stark and Richards. This leads to him dropping his lawsuit against Peter and the webslinger ultimately doesn't have to sacrifice his marriage to Mary Jane.
- Ultimately, Captain America is still alive. While the Superhuman Registration Act is still out there, it's no longer mandatory, and he and Tony are still working together.
- “The Reason You Suck” Speech:
- Reed and Tony get plenty of these from their allies and enemies for banishing the Hulk. Doctor Doom takes great pleasure in mocking Reed and his decision to shoot Hulk into space.Doom: Exiling the Hulk, Richards? You had to know it would not succeed and that it would just enrage him further.
- Namor gives harsh one to Reed Richards, with This Is Unforgivable!, What the Hell, Hero? and I Warned You elements:
"Namor…I know we've had difficulties…""Difficulties? My cousin's remains are barely enough to fill a proper grave and the architects of her death were allowed to go free by you. Then you decide to clone Thor and create a monster who killed someone. Then Stark's manipulations lead to the death of some of my citizens. Now this…" (shakes his head) "I warned you, Richards. I warned you and Stark and Strange that this would happen and now it has. And I told you then, I will not stand in his path.""Namor…""Silence, Richards. Heed my words. As of this moment, Atlantis is cutting off all contact with the surface world. If the Hulk wishes to wipe out your land masses, so be it. Even he will have no care for what lies under the other three-fourths of the planet.""Namor, you cannot…""You reap what you sow, Richards, and so it shall be for you. Farewell, Richards." - Robbie Robertson gives J. Jonah Jameson a talking-to on how JJJ's obsession with Spider-Man as a menace is now ruining him and how his slandering of Superheroes and vigilantes indirectly got its result in the Superhuman Registration Act and Civil War between Captain's followers and Stark’s followers.
- Reed and Tony get plenty of these from their allies and enemies for banishing the Hulk. Doctor Doom takes great pleasure in mocking Reed and his decision to shoot Hulk into space.
- Sarcastic Clapping: Peter Parker immeditiate reaction to Tony Stark’s attempt to justify banishing Bruce Banner/Hulk into outer space.
- Sequel Hook: At the end, Daredevil presents Skrull!Elektra to Tony and Steve, showcasing there will be dealing with another problem very soon.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Inverted. Iron Man offers the imprisoned Doc Octopus, Taskmaster, Venom, Bullseye, and Moonstone their freedom in exchange for their help in fighting the Hulk. After hearing what Hulk had done to the Green Goblin, they decide that prison is safer than dealing with the Hulk.
- Screw Your Orders, I'm Staying!: Wolverine refuses to retreat on Cap's orders. It takes both Spidey and Falcon to drag him from the battle.
- Spanner in the Works: Loki and Baron Mordo's plan didn't count on Thor surviving Ragnarok.
- Take That!: Iin the “end notes”, the author states that Peter’s last scene was a huge “Screw You!” to One More Day and spends a whole paragraph ranting about how it sucks.
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork:
- Captain America and the other heroes aren't happy about accepting the Punisher in the ranks but are forced to accept his aid.Hawkeye: Damn, I know we're in trouble but are we really so desperate we need the Punisher?
- Happens between the Pro and Anti-Registration Forces after Hulk and his Warbound show up.
- Captain America and the other heroes aren't happy about accepting the Punisher in the ranks but are forced to accept his aid.
- This Is Unforgivable!:
- The heroes reaction to Stark's and Reed's scheme of blasting Hulk into space.
- Thor's reaction to Stark's cloning him and using his clone Ragnarok against fellow heroes.
- Throw the Dog a Bone:
- After years of the universe constantly shitting on his life, being treated as a monster thanks to the Hulk, and suffering tragedy after tragedy when he tries to be a hero, Banner is separated from the Hulk and can finally live a normal life.
- Peter Parker: having the lawsuit dropped by Jonah Jameson, still in a relationship with Mary Jane, Aunt May is alive, and Norman Osborn/Green Goblin is finally dead.
- The Unseen: Professor X, who is away on a mission into space when the Hulk shows up.
- Wandering the Earth: Now freed of the Hulk, Bruce decides to go traveling a bit and enjoy life now that he's free, until the next crisis comes along that is.
- Wham Episode: Chapter 6. Maria Hill has been Dead All Along and Loki was impersonating her the entire, working with Baron Mordo (who impersonated Dr. Strange) as the true masterminds of the war.
- Wham Line:
- In chapter 2:"What's the matter, Jolly Green? Don't tell me you already forgot about little old Hawkeye?"
- In chapter 6:Dr. Stephen Strange: "Hank…I have spent the last six months on a multi-dimensional quest that nearly cost me my life. I only just returned this morning. Whoever you saw…it was not me."
- Also Dr Strange after Hank Pym summarizes on Wanda’s reshaping reality, the "House of M" story, and depowering the entirety of mutantkind thanks to Wanda's chanting:"Hank, please do not take this as disrespect…but exactly how foolish were you all to believe that?"
- Also Dr Strange after Hank Pym summarizes on Wanda’s reshaping reality, the "House of M" story, and depowering the entirety of mutantkind thanks to Wanda's chanting:
- Chapter 6 ends with the revelation of who's truly behind all this chaos.
"And at long last...victory shall belong...to LOKI! - In chapter 2:
- What the Hell, Hero?: The Illuminati get plenty of this regarding their decision to blast the Hulk into space, and Peter delivers a more personal one to Tony when he learns that Norman Osborn has been assigned to the Thunderbolts, bluntly asking if Tony was drunk when he decided to put that monster on a team after everything Osborn's done to Peter's life.
- Your Approval Fills Me with Shame: Doom does admit that by setting the Hulk up is the first time he "truly respected" Reed. Doubles as Baddie Flattery.Doom: Using deceit to betray and exile a formerly trusted friend? On the contrary, Richards. This is the first time I've ever truly respected you.
