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Fanfic / An Alternate Keitaro Urashima

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An Alternate Keitaro Urashima by Karndragon asks "What if Keitaro hadn't taken that old Childhood Marriage Promise so seriously?" Instead of becoming a Rōnin struggling to make it into Tokyo University, he's already in his second year at another college when his grandmother sends him a letter summoning him to the Hinata Inn. Once he discovers what her plans are, however — and how she's converted the Inn into an all-girls' dorm — he wants nothing to do with them. But Granny isn't about to give up so easily...


This Love Hina fanfic contains examples of:

  • Adaptational Badass: Keitaro, for sure. He goes from a standard Butt-Monkey harem protagonist to a strong, assertive young man who doesn't put up with any of the Hinata Inn residents' crap.
  • Adaptational Villainy: The Hinata girls are considerably more vicious than in canon. Of course, it's less that they're more evil and cruel and more that their antics aren't Played for Laughs.
  • A Tragedy of Impulsiveness:
    • Su's decision to help herself to some brownies while visiting Keitaro's parents at their bakery has long-reaching consequences.
    • Naru impulsively deciding to attack Keitaro for talking to Mutsumi makes her a social pariah.
    • Motoko kicks off her Humiliation Conga when she draws her katana in public to threaten Keitaro, which begins with her getting arrested, because such acts of violence are not taken well by the local police.
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    • The incident revealed in Chapter 16: When Takaya tried talking to Su about how uncomfortable she was making his sister, Naru and Motoko immediately decided he must have bad intentions and hospitalized him.
  • All of the Other Reindeer: Naru makes herself an outcast at her school after punching out Keitaro on campus for talking to Mutsumi.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: When Shinobu tries to convince him to follow his Granny's wishes, Keitaro asks her if she thinks it's right to force somebody to do something they don't want. He then extends this to the rest of the girls, but Shinobu's the only one who takes it seriously.
    • Earlier, Shinobu asks two in a row. When Hinata insists Marumi and Kanako can't be the managers as they'd evict the girls, Shinobu asks what would keep Keitaro from doing the same. Then when the girls suggest beating Keitaro if he tried to kick them out, Shinobu asks if they'd do the same to a woman. All of them fall silent at that.
  • The Atoner:
    • Miyabi deeply regrets how they handled the incident with her teacher and wants to try and make amends.
    • Shinobu regrets defending Naru and Motoko for hospitalizing her friend's brother and is trying to make it up to him now.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Keitaro ignores Motoko's Girl Posse when they come after him, until they start insulting his girlfriend.
    • You seriously do not want to hit Keitaro, Miyabi will go Violently Protective Girlfriend on your face with her slap.
  • Big Eater: Gets Su into trouble when the Hinata girls visit Keitaro's parents, and she helps herself to some brownies... meant for a customer.
  • Break the Haughty:
    • Haruka's starts when one of her workers leads a lawsuit against her. This results in her losing the teahouse, taking over the Hinata Inn, and coming to realize she's to blame for her own misfortunes.
    • Motoko goes through a severe Humiliation Conga after getting arrested, which culminates in her sister informing her that she's been stripped of her position as heir, is getting pulled out of school and will be attending a co-ed school next year.
  • The Bully: Kitsune, Motoko, Naru, and Su each play a role in regards to Shinobu when she starts realizing that the girls are nothing but cruel, selfish hypocrites and starts to think for herself.
  • Calling the Old Man Out: Granny Hina gets this several times from the others, especially Keitaro, who doesn't appreciate her attempts to meddle in his life.
  • Character Exaggeration: Naru's bitchiness, Motoko's misandry and Su's appetite are all taken up to eleven here. And unlike canon, nobody finds it charming.
  • Childhood Marriage Promise: Averted here. Keitaro has moved on from it. Granny Hinata hasn't.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Haruka convinces herself that her Aunt Marumi deliberately engineered the lawsuit in order to get revenge. She eventually realizes that it's actually her own fault.
  • Crossover: With the cast of Great Teacher Onizuka!
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Miyabi has one, revealed in Part 8: She was crushing on a teacher, only to wind up heartbroken when he — fully aware of her feelings — invited her over to his place and introduced her to his fiance. She tried getting revenge by making it appear he'd taken advantage of her, only for it to spiral out of control when a classmate assaulted him, getting the teacher fired and her friend expelled. Read more on Great Teacher Onizuka.
  • Deconstruction Fic: Illustrates how the girls' various issues bite them hard when they refuse to face any responsibility for their actions.
  • Didn't Think This Through: In the backstory, Mutsumi gently turned down Keitaro after he confessed to her so he could be with Naru, whom neither had seen in over a decade. A few years later, they meet Naru again and learns she's a violent misandrist, causing Mutsumi to deeply regret turning Keitaro down.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: So a guy reasonably tells your Girl Posse off? It's perfectly reasonable to pay him back with a duel, isn't it?
    • There's also the incident where the brother of one of Shinobu's friends ends up hospitalized after Naru and Motoko attacked him. What caused it to happen? He just so happened to stop Su from bothering his sister and her friends so the "meanie" had to be hurt and go away.
  • Disappointed in You: Hinata tries playing this card on Keitaro. It doesn't work.
  • Distinction Without a Difference: When Shinobu accuses Su of deliberately getting Naru and Motoko to attack Takaya, Su insists that she didn't. She just wanted them to hurt him and make him go away. Shinobu lampshades that's basically the same thing.
  • Does Not Like Men: Motoko is quite blatantly sexist. She almost always refers to men by their gender and calling them things like, "you disgusting male."
  • Dramatically Missing the Point:
    • No matter how many times she's called out on her behavior, Granny Hinata refuses to acknowledge that she might've done things the wrong way. Instead, she insists that everyone who isn't going along with her plans are in the wrong.
    • Naru and Motoko have the same issue, continuing to blame Keitaro for everything bad that results from their own actions.
    • Haruka struggles with this while dealing with the lawsuit. She gets better after losing the teahouse.
  • Dysfunction Junction: The Hinata Inn, with most of its residents actively resisting any efforts to help them improve.
  • Evil Matriarch: Hinata is a prideful, selfish hypocrite who refuses to be responsible and constantly thinks she's right even when she very clearly is wrong. Her children and grandchildren don't hesitate in calling her out on her behavior but instead of learning, she doubles down and skips out on her responsibilities by going on trips around the world.
  • Fair-Weather Friend: Motoko discovers that her Girl Posse and Naru are these after she lost her duel with Keitaro. The fangirl posse immediately lost all confidence in their now former idol and no longer want to associate with her, and Naru abandons Motoko as she was too concerned about her own slighted ego due to the terms of should Keitaro win (which was to simply apologize to him for punching him for no reason) .
  • Fatal Flaw:
    • Granny Hinata, Haruka, Naru, Motoko and Kitsune are all blinded by their Pride.
    • Su is cheerfully oblivious to how her antics can make others uncomfortable, and is used to having any problems she causes fixed by others.
  • For Want of a Nail: Keitaro doesn't dedicate his life to fulfilling a promise when he was five and the entire plot derails.
  • Girl Posse: Motoko has a small group of devoted Fangirls, though they abandon her later in the story.
  • I Want My Beloved to Be Happy:
    • Mitsumi decided this when she gently turned down Keitaro's Love Confession. Deconstructed in that she somewhat regrets this decision.
    • Learning that Keitaro's "promised girl" (Naru) had grown up to be a short-tempered and self-centered bitch rife with irrational misandry doesn't make Mutsumi feel any better.
  • I Warned You: After Motoko is arrested for trying to attack Keitaro with her sword in public, Keitaro is quick to press charges, reminding Motoko that he had previously told her that he would do so if she drew her sword against him again, and she should have heeded the warning.
  • Improbably High I.Q.: Urumi has an IQ of 200.
  • Insistent Terminology:
    • After their relationship starts souring, Keitaro insistently calls Haruka 'Aunt Haruka'.
    • Meanwhile, Marumi insists that Haruka call her Aunt Marumi despite being adopted by Hinata.
  • Irony: One of the reason's Granny Hinata does not want Marumi running the inn is "She's very stubborn" and "once her mind is made up, she won't change it."
  • It's All About Me: Runs rampant in this fic:
    • Granny Hinata's none too pleased that she cannot force Keitaro into becoming manager of the Hinata Inn. Nor is she too thrilled with anyone else standing up to her — constantly trying to make herself out as the victim because they won't do whatever she pleases. And for all her talk about "helping" her tenants, she still takes off to continue her grand tour ASAP, leaving Haruka in charge of her mess.
    • Naru's case of this is so severe that when Motoko suffers a major Humiliation Conga, she shows absolutely No Sympathy and thinks that it "serves her right". Not because of how Motoko's own actions led to what happened, mind. No, she's just pissed that due to Motoko losing her duel, she had to apologize for attacking Keitaro over her own mistake. She doesn't CARE that Motoko's literally lost everything because she's too hung up on the slight dent to her ego.
    • Kaolla Su gets into this, too. Anyone showing discomfort at her wacky antics is 'a meanie', and she helped spark an incident which led to an innocent boy getting hospitalized just because he asked her to stop harassing his sister. She also thought that him getting hospitalized and beaten would get the attention back on her so when it doesn't, she gets upset.
  • Karma Houdini Warranty:
    • This is the cause of the in-universe expiration of the Hinata Girls' warranty. If the girls had just reined in their base anti-male reflexes and agreed to carry on Granny Hina's plan of bringing her grandson to become the Inn manager (a thing none of them wanted but still accept to do because of their love for their landlady), none of them (Hina included) would have received the reality bitch-slaps they're getting.
    • It's particularly notable with Motoko, who suffers a major Humiliation Conga after threatening Keitaro with her katana in public, getting, in this order, arrested, defeated in a duel by Keitaro, kicked out of the Kendo Club, and stripped of her position as heir to her family's school. The other Hinata Girls actually reveal that Keitaro isn't the first person Motoko's done such things to; he's merely the first one to actually press charges on her.
  • King Incognito: Su's status as a princess becomes a problem after she eats bakery brownies that were meant for someone else. Kanako states that Molmol's reputation would take a hit if it became common knowledge that their princess was a gluttonous thief.
  • Lack of Empathy: The Hinata Inn tenants show shades of this towards anyone they wrong. The most prominent include:
    • When Shinobu calls out Naru for hospitalizing Takaya just because of her baseless assumption that he was sexually harassing Shinobu and her friends. Naru initially tries to dismiss it as his fault, and when that doesn't work calls it irrelevant. A furious and disgusted Shinobu outright calls Naru cold-hearted.
    • Su is blissfully ignorant to how her actions hurt people. When she eats bakery brownies meant for someone else without paying for them, she focuses more on how good they taste when she's called out on it and shows no regard for how it hurts the bakery's business. She ignores how uncomfortable her "fun" is making Shinobu's friends feel. When she tells Motoko and Naru to hurt Takaya to prevent him from interrupting her playtime, getting him hospitalized as a result, she's upset that Shinobu's friends are paying attention to the injured Takaya rather than her, not caring at all that her actions got an innocent man hurt and that man was also the brother of one of Shinobu's friends.
  • Let Me Get This Straight...: Keitaro and Mutsumi discussing the old promise in Chapter 18:
    Keitaro: So let me see if I got this right. You and I promised to go to Tokyo University as kids in the sandbox, you and me.
    Mutsumi: That's right.
    Keitaro: But then, you saw Naru and wanted to do something to help her get better so you decided that a way to help is to promise her that she and I could be together when going to Tokyo University, which made the promise itself already completely invalid.
    Mutsumi: Yes.
    Keitaro: So my grandmother saw and knew what was going on as she saw it happened.
    Mutsumi: Yes Keitaro.
    Keitaro: I see... so all this time, all these years. Now I understand... Mutsumi, is it also the reason why you rejected me four years ago?
    Mutsumi: Yes... I was... I thought that it was better this way but I was wrong and I know was unfair. It was unfair for what I did... I wanted you and Naru to be happy and I thought that when the promises were made, that you two would find happiness.
    Keitaro: Mutsumi, when you saw Naru again, you actually recognized her, didn't you?
    Mutsumi: Yes...
  • Manipulative Bitch:
    • Granny Hinata, who isn't too pleased when Keitaro refuses to follow along with her schemes. She's even less pleased when his parents and sister find out as well and stand with him.
    • Ryuichi also accuses Miyabi of being this due to her past actions.
  • Miles Gloriosus: For all her trash talk about men and how she's better than them, Motoko is defeated in a duel by Keitaro rather easily.
  • Mistaken for Cheating: Naru spies Keitaro talking to another girl and leaps to the conclusion he's cheating on Miyabi. She proceeds to attack him over this.
  • Mistaken for Gay: When Keitaro informs the girls he doesn't find any of them attractive, Kitsune immediately asks if he's gay.
  • Moral Myopia: Hinata honestly seems to think that everything she does is right, and that everyone who doesn't go along with her wishes is horribly misguided.
  • Never My Fault:
    • Naru constantly berates and insults Keitaro, then turns around and acts like he's in the wrong when he snaps back.
    • Similarly, Motoko keeps threatening Keitaro, and acts as though he's the one who's being unreasonable.
    • Granny Hinata is apparently incapable of seeing how her own actions are driving her family away, as well as how her leniency with the girls has only amplified their issues.
    • Haruka insists that the people suing her are completely misguided and just out for 'revenge'. She gets better.
    • When Kitsune figures out that Shinobu's been bottling up her feelings about the situation, she immediately decides Keitaro's the issue instead of her (entirely justified) fears about how the other girls will react.
    • Su struggles with this, thinking that Shinobu's being mean when she doesn't want to get dragged into her antics anymore.
    • In Chapter 16, it's revealed that Naru and Motoko once hospitalized a boy named Takaya when he tried to get Su to stop making his friends feel uncomfortable. Naru doesn't regret this at all and dismisses it as 'irrelevant'.
  • No Hero to His Valet: Haruka isn't very nice to her workers, and this gets her sued.
  • No Sympathy: After Motoko loses her duel with Keitaro, Naru's far more focused on how this meant she was forced to apologize for attacking him than anything else. She even goes so far as to selfishly think that Motoko completely deserves her Humiliation Conga simply due to that.
    • When Ryuichi lost his job after stalking Keitaro and Miyabi at Granny Hina's urging, he tries to see if Granny Hina can help him. Instead she coldly tells Ryuichi that his problems are his own fault.
  • Not Helping Your Case:
    • Granny Hina continually trying to arrange things so that Keitaro has to take over the Inn only makes him more resistant.
    • When the girls actually try to help Hina despite their own misgivings about having a man take over, they proceed to make HORRIBLE impressions on his family.
    • When rumors about her violence spread around the cram school, Naru doesn't do herself any favors by confronting Mutsumi.
    • When Shinobu asks what would stop Keitaro from evicting them should he be the manager of the inn, Naru and Motoko answer that they would beat him up if he tries. Shinobu calls them out on this, saying that not only would that not work, it would make Keitaro want to throw them out even more.
  • "Not So Different" Remark: Mutsumi secretly fears that she’s no better than Granny Hina, due to the way she kept Keitaro in the dark about how she was his 'Promise Girl' and then turned around and passed that promise on to Naru. When Keitaro does find out, he reassures her, pointing out that she's never tried actively railroading him into doing something he didn't want.
  • The Oathbreaker:
    • Granny Hina tries to guilt-trip Keitaro into taking over the Hinata Inn by expressing her disappointment that he's forgotten all about his Childhood Marriage Promise. Keitaro retorts that he made that back when he was five.
    • Keitaro eventually turns this around when he reveals that Hina once promised the Inn to his aunt Marumi, but reneged on that after deciding to try and strongarm him into the job instead.
  • One Side of the Story: Ryuichi despises Miyabi and sees her as somebody who deliberately ruins the lives of others because of how she got a friend of his fired. However, he later learns that he didn't get the full story: Ogi deliberately led her on, including taking her to meet his fiance while fully aware of her crush.
  • Only Sane Man: Poor Shinobu finds herself as this, being the only tenant at the Hinata Inn who realizes how unfair they're being to Keitaro. Later, Haruka joins her after becoming the manager.
  • Poor Communication Kills:
    • Keitaro's very good about averting this by talking to others. This includes being fully aware of Miyabi's past and telling her about the Childhood Marriage Promise. He also makes sure to inform others of his grandmother's scheming so that they're well-prepared before she tries pulling their strings.
    • Conversely, Hina's tendency to leave others in the dark and only let them know what she wants them to know causes her plans to keep imploding.
    • The entire subplot with Ryuichi and Ogi could've been avoided if Ogi had just admitted his fault sooner. However, when noting this, Ogi points out that he HAD explained at least part of this sooner, but Ryuichi hasn't wanted to hear it... and still refuses to listen.
    • Bizarrely invoked by Motoko's fangirls, who knew if they told Motoko that Keitaro really just told them off she probably wouldn't go attack him, and so intentionally are vague and let her come to the conclusion that they were molested without actually saying so. Motoko herself is stunned when she finds out Keitaro never laid a hand on them. This leads to Motoko getting arrested, with the fangirls being arrested as accessories.
  • Pretty Freeloader: Kitsune has to deal with the consequences of this after Haruka takes over the Inn.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: The Hinata Girls sans Shinobu all have varying tendencies of this, particularly Naru and Motoko; in the case of the latter two, "physically attack anyone who even remotely annoys or crosses them" is their default response to virtually anything.
  • Ranked by I.Q.: Played with. While Urumi has an IQ of 200, Naru decides she's an idiot because she chose not to aim for Tokyo U. She also joins those calling the girls out on their immaturity, causing them to see her as 'stupid and mean'.
  • Real Women Don't Wear Dresses: Motoko scornfully dismisses Miyabi's opinions simply because she's Keitaro's girlfriend.
    • Likewise Urumi is dismissed for having a boyfriend and not shooting for Tokyo U becuase she'd rather get to a school closer to him.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: You want the short version or the long version?
    • After being repeatedly harassed by Motoko, Keitaro calls her a 'fake samurai' with no real sense of honor and who condones the others' vile treatment of him simply because she's biased against men.
    • When Motoko's Girl Posse insult Miyabi, Keitaro tells them off by explaining how wonderful his girlfriend is, whereas the girl they idolize is nothing more than a bully masquerading as an honorable warrior.
    • Granny Hinata's shocked when she starts getting these from Haruka, who's come to realize how her decision to 'help' her tenants by giving them a free ride has only exacerbated their problems.
    • Shinobu gives one to the other tenants over their past actions.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: After Motoko loses to Keitaro in a duel and subsequently suffers a major Humiliation Conga, Naru has No Sympathy for her and believes that she deserves it. While Naru says so for purely petty reasons (namely being forced to apologize to Keitaro for attacking him over her own mistake), she is right that Motoko deserves it, since it's Motoko's own actions that led to said Humiliation Conga since she repeatedly ignored warnings to stay away from Keitaro and threatened him with her sword right in front of a cop. Furthermore, it's stated that Keitaro is not the first one Motoko has done such things to; he's merely the first one to actually press charges.
  • Royal Brat: Su is absolutely this. She's ignorant, self-centered, and only cares about her own brand of "fun" at the expense of others. This has bitten her on the ass very hard as she not only eats brownies in the Urashima family bakery that were meant for a customer (and cause them to lose that customer) but is also responsible for a boy being hospitalized because he stopped Su from harassing his sister and she set him up to be beaten up by violent misandrists Motoko and Naru because he was a "meanie" for interrupting her "playtime." And even then, she still whines about how everyone is so mean to her and not giving her the attention she wants.
  • The Scapegoat:
    • Once she learns that Keitaro has a girlfriend, Granny Hinata starts blaming Miyabi for her grandson's 'insolence'.
    • Naru and Motoko blame Keitaro for all the consequences stemming from their own actions.
  • Shrinking Violet: Picking up on this, Keitaro isn't nearly as harsh on Shinobu as he is the others. When telling off all of the others in turn, all he does is ask her why she's going along with them.
  • Skewed Priorities: Hinata's top priority no matter what is to come up with all manner of ways to excuse the often-inexcusable behavior of the girls at her dorm. It's to the extent that when Motoko gets herself arrested for trying to challenge Keitaro to a duel then attacking him to force him into it, Hinata is more concerned with defending her than the fact that Motoko threatened her grandson with a deadly weapon in public. Her friend, Esther, calls her out on this.
    Esther: Hina, that girl, Motoko, threatened your grandson with a real weapon. Doesn’t that bother you?
    Hina: Of course it bothers me. I just think things would work out if they just talked it out and not getting the legal system involved.
    Esther: If it were my grandson who got attacked like that, I’d be worried if he didn’t press charges.
    Hina: Esther, you just don’t understand how things are where I’m from.
    Esther: I think it’s just you.
    Hina: How rude...
  • Spanner in the Works:
    • Granny Hinata regards Miyabi's very existence as this — maybe if she wasn't Keitaro's girlfriend, he wouldn't be so troublesome!
    • Similarly, most of the Hinata Girls see Keitaro as a spanner responsible for them having to face consequences for their actions. (He does function as a spanner, primarily due to actually communicating with others and letting them know what's going on).
    • This kicks off Mokoto's Humiliation Conga: she had no idea that a couple of officers were walking by when she drew her katana and threatened Keitaro in public.
  • Stating the Simple Solution: Early on, Haruka suggests simply appointing Keitaro's other aunt, Marumi, to be the inn's manager. Hinata vetoes the idea on the grounds that Marumi is too busy, but really because it'd interfere with her scheming.
  • Straw Feminist: Naru and Motoko take this to ridiculous extremes due to their deep hatred and mistrust of males, and reality bitchslaps them as hard as Miyabi does.
  • Took a Level in Badass:
    • Shinobu becomes more assertive thanks to her interaction with Miyabi and Keitaro.
    • Keitaro is more self-confident and is not even submissive to the girls.
    • Miyabi is now known for her slap that can almost give people concussions.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: Haruka when she apologizes to her lawyer and says she should have listened to her from the beginning.
  • Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma: The author has some... issues... with punctuation at times.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Ryuichi understandably chews out Granny Hinata when she refuses to help him after he loses his job for stalking Keitaro and Miyabi at her urging.
    • Keitaro's parents rip Su a new one after she eats a tray of brownies meant for a customer.
    • After becoming the manager, Haruka can't believe the sort of things Hinata will excuse the tenants of.
  • With Us or Against Us: The Hinata Girls tend to have this problem. Either you go along with exactly what Granny Hinata/they want, or there's something wrong with you. This attitude even extends to poor Shinobu, and to Haruka whenever she lays down the law.
  • You Didn't Ask: When the other Hinata Girls learn Su is a Princess and ask why she never told them before, she says it's because they never asked.