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Famous Last Words / Sonic for Hire

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With the nature of how characters die in this series, a lot of them end up saying something interesting before dying:


  • "Another glorious day in Ice Cream -" A Parasol Waddle Dee as Kirby eats him
  • "Why hello there good fellows, lovely day we're ha-" A blue Dreamland creature (Roly-Poly) as Kirby eats him
  • "Sonic old friend, how are you-" Another Dreamland creature (Minny) as Sonic is forced to kill him by Kirby
  • "Give me that! I need that!" Taizo Hori before Sonic blew him up, until Mario somehow brings him back
  • "Cool. I know this great little taco place over a—" Bomberman until Soniqua kills him
  • "You ain't so tough, you piece of shit! You ain't so--" Toad before Sonic shoots him
  • "Mmhmhmm! For a washed up loser you know some good gum. What kind is this?" Chuck, the Yellow Angry Bird, as Sonic gives them gum that kills the three birds.
  • "Oh my god! This is some big shit over here! I feel so significant you know. I-I love everything! I even love my brother, despite like being a spotlight hoggin' fame whore. I'm on top of the world, Sonic! I'm on top of the—" Luigi after licking Frogger and getting high, resulting him in getting run over by a bus
  • "You son of a bitch. Why is this thing here? These don't occur in nature. Oh if I had some extra lives I'd use them all to fuck you up so bad... If you see the Princess... Tell her... tell her I said... She's a bitch...!" Mario after getting impaled by spikes during his first death
  • "Don't leave! I had a meeting with Brett Ratner! Brett Ratner! I'm sorry" The Shredder before comitting seppuku as he's disappointed with Sonic stealing from his Casino Zone.
  • "Wh-what? Put me down! No, not again, NOOOO!" Darth Vader as he gets pushed by Dominique Wilkins into a reactor core
  • "Sure I just need to-" Elliot as Tails runs him over
  • "Clearly, you're superior warriors from another land. Come stay with us. You will forever live like kings and..." The Warrior from Final Fantasy as Thunderhead idiotically kills the party with a dragon.
  • "Batshit Crazy Guacamole Nightmare, show Sonic what we do to deadbeats" Pokemon Trainer as he orders Soniqua to kill Sonic. Soniqua kills him instead.
  • "I'll do it! I'm gonna be famous! It's a whole new life for Andross! Thanks so much for all your help-" Andross before Sonic realizes that he has to blow him up
  • "Aw come on, please! I seriously can't wait to die!" Luke Skywalker shortly before Earthworm Jim furiously throws him inside of Sarlacc's mouth and kills both of them for being dehydrated.
  • "Oh, I can't pay you. Sorry." Sparkster, refusing to pay Sonic. Sonic isn't having any of it though.
  • "Eggman Rush!" Zerglings assimilated with Eggman's genetics. Sonic got annoyed with them, so a Terran Marine murdered them all.
  • "What the hell is tha-" Falco as he gets blown up by a bunch of bombs courtesy of Eggman
  • "No, man! I don't wanna!" Crash after Sonic tortures him in a similar fashion to Taken.
  • "Oh she looks good enough to eat" A thug from Streets of Rage as Sonic shoots him with a technologically advanced tricycle.
  • "Mario, before you make your point. Ha! If I hadn't killed myself. Remember, because I killed you on those pointy spikes? Anyway mustache, I-" Sonic in an alternate timeline that Mario kidnapped him and murdered him on the spot.
  • "So then I say that's not a turtle shell baby-" A Koopa Troopa shortly before Soniqua murders him.
  • "Time for this time machine to fly. Because time sure flies. Shit wait there's something goin-OH SHIT!" Mario as his Bullet Bowser blows up on his Epoch
  • "Hey fellas, can I help ya?" Kid Chameleon before Sonic abruptly kills him
  • "Hey hey what the fuck are you doing?" The guy from Elevator Action as Eggman kills him for real after a failed attempt due to the Creator screwing with Sonic
  • "I said now cocklet" Thomas from Kung Fu as he treats Kirby like crap. Kirby however has had enough of it
  • "Back away! I must kill Dracula and avenge my family! Simon Belmont shortly before Sonic shoots him
  • "Let's go fuck some zombies" Sir Arthur moments before a zombie eats him, crotch first
  • "You better not be gay boy, otherwise I'm gonna be turning you straight the hard way!" Links homophobic uncle before Sonic shoots him
  • "Well no, me, but honestly this was supposed to be tougher because I assumed that I was your idol because of the poster, and then be this whole tense emotional breakdown like he won't. Can he?" Dominque Wilkins as Sonic kills him
  • "Seemingly yes, but there's subtle differences that you can't notice ..." The alternate Tails that Sonic abruptly shoots in the face
  • "Okay guys, this hurts." Alternate Sonic as Sonic tortures him as the little animals eat him like crazy.
  • "I see you're back for some more. I've already kicked your ass once, so I guess-" Eggette before she's burned alive by Soniqua

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