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Epic Fail / Fan Works

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Epic Fails in fan works.

  • Team LVDR has a lot of build up for Blaze to confront Lila...only for him and his men to get absolutely trounced due to them not accounting for Penny’s abilities.
  • The Worst Bakers In Equestria is all about a contest entirely built around ponies who don't merely bake badly, but who bring forth inedible abominations in the most spectacular manners possible. The contest only uses one stage at a time, but has a backup in case one becomes too damaged (or toxic) to be used.
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  • In a direct Shout-Out to the former trope image and an inversion of the trope, Magnetism tells us "Rainbow Dash poured the milk into the bowl of cereal. Astonishingly, this time it did not catch on fire."
  • A Brief History of Equestria: Star-Swirl the Bearded's Winter Emergency Summit between the tribes was planned to last a week, with preparations to go on longer if necessary. The Shouting Congress, as it became known to history, lasted twenty minutes.
  • In one Dashverse story, during a game of Truth or Dare, Twilight is dared to hogtie Rarity. Somehow, she ends up tying them both together.
  • A rather frightening one. In Human Curiosity, while the HCS's attempt to kidnap and kill off as many Nations as possible seems like it's successful, it starts to go to pieces when a massive prison break is attempted and a number of Nations escape. One of whom was the only Nation to memorize the location of every HCS base in the world (England). From there, the remaining free Nations find the escapees and use England's knowledge to storm every HCS base, freeing all the prisoners and stealing what research remains. The HCS is forced to abandon everything they've worked for and disband to survive. One of the former leaders tries to make more progress by unfreezing the Nations in stasis (they've been turned mortal and loaded with poison, in the hopes this would make it impossible to revive them). Not only does this not work at all, since the Nations just die and come back to life exactly as they were, but he dies in the process and the newly-revived Nations set about killing off the rest of the HCS.
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  • Germany and Italy's date in ''Chasing an Empty Dream, which makes the canon Valentine's Day date look like smooth sailing. The whole thing was orchestrated by Prussia. To keep Germany from panicking, Canada borrows spy gear from America so they can give tips. Unfortunately, this means America has to stay with them to keep an eye on the stuff, and acts obnoxious the whole time. Meanwhile, Romano uses a Paper-Thin Disguise to pretend to be their waiter, wanting to spy on them and verbally abusing Germany until the manager mistakes him for a real waiter and sends him to the kitchen (Italy, of course, fails to realize who "the waiter" is). Spain bursts into the restaurant with a battle axe Romano asked him to bring, leading the other diners to think he's a terrorist and causing America to try to blindly play the hero. At this point, England shows up with his hair and eyebrows dyed pink, to yell at America. Canada gets rid of America by stealing his glasses, England is gotten rid of by having France come in (completely naked) and carry him off, and Spain has to run off with Romano. And it ends on a very sad note, as Germany confesses to Italy that he used to be the Holy Roman Empire, only for Italy to become upset and reject him.
  • Only mentioned after the fact, but in Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, Harry once had a pet rock. It died. Though we later learn that Dumbledore killed it because of certain reasons.
  • Shining Armor from the Pony POV Series is a terrible shot. While he's otherwise competent, any time he tries to shoot, his efforts can only be described as this.
    Shining Armor: This wasn't to say I can't hit the broad side of a barn. The problem was, I can and I did. And our archery range was three miles from the farm I hit.
  • In the Danny Phantom fic Just One More, Maddie tries to create ghost sedative. Instead, she created ghost vodka.
  • In the Slash Fic Seeing, Believing, Dreaming, Deceiving during a karaoke contest at Hogwarts, Lucius Malfoy gets up on stage while drunk and attempts to woo Remus Lupin by serenading him with an off-key rendition of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London." This goes about as well as you'd expect.
  • In Blue Sky, Wheatley attempts to make bread. What results is most emphatically not bread, in every possible way something can be not bread, and violates several laws of geometry, thermodynamics, and physics in the process.
  • Scootamom: Princess Celestia's first attempt at knitting her daughter a sweater. It's possibly the most literal example of the Homemade Sweater from Hell in the history of fiction; it contains Alien Geometries that cause headaches and nausea in anyone looking directly at it. (A Physical Goddess did it, and even she doesn't know quite how.)
  • Mega Man: Defender of the Human Race has Vick-Tek's early attempt at making robots, particularly the one recycled from a nannybot and condiment dispenser.
  • In the Facing the Future Series story Stolen Years, Jack designed two devices. One was supposed to incapacitate ghosts with a high frequency sound, the other was supposed to absorb ecto-energy, rendering a ghost a powerless husk. The former unleashed a sound that was painful to everyone in town, but ghosts. The latter unleashed an energy field that disabled electrical energy, causing a blackout across town.
    • It's inverted later on when these devices are used in an attack on the Guys in White base in order to rescue Danielle.
  • RWBY: Reckoning shows Darrel's "landing strategy" to be this. In a nutshell, he accidentally ties himself to a tree several meters above the ground. He manages to free himself by cutting his bonds, but as Gravity Is a Harsh Mistress, he ends up falling into branches, and getting nailed in the gonads in the process. Finally, he gets tangled in vines, and is freed by a conveniently timed Blake and Yang. A few moments later, he gets knocked unconscious by his own weapons.
  • As a Shout-Out to the former trope image, Weiss Reacts' companion fic, A Melodic Comedy, has Melodia set cereal on fire by dropping milk on it. Obviously lampshaded.
    • The Civilization V chapter in the main fic is full of it, but the main incidents are Yang having Failed a Spot Check and failing to realise that while backstabbing Ren Weiss captured her capital, Lucina attempting a Big Damn Heroes only to get stomped in two turns by the combined armies of Ren and Yang, and Fionn only getting one city founded before Yang conquers him.
    • In Lucina Reacts, by the same author, the Shepherds find a laptop, and find that the previous owner had installed a 3DS emulator, with Fire Emblem Awakening already loaded. Cue Maribelle playing the game, and having Frederick die on the first mission (This is pretty much impossible outside of Lunatic/Lunatic+ modes, unless you actively seek to kill him by stripping him of any weapons and hoping the enemy units get lucky and crit him a lot)
  • Tales of the Undiscovered Swords: Of all the sweets Konotegashiwa could have used to lure Hōchō into converting to veganism, he chooses gummies. It leads to a hilarious meltdown when Yagen points it out to him.
  • In Tougher Than Most, Naruto has recently gained a Healing Factor on par with Deadpool and needs to increase his pain tolerance so he can't pass out from pain. He tries to anger Anko by slapping her on the ass and kissing her; instead she decides he was so gutsy that she has sex with him instead. Naruto later mentions if that's the consolation prize, he doesn't mind losing.
  • In Origin Story, Marvin the Pimp and a couple of his gang invades the camp full of homeless mutants where Alex Harris and Louise Fulford are hiding out. They're all heavily armed and intent on punishing Alex and Louise for defying Marvin. The confrontation ends with Marvin missing a finger and being shoved into the trunk of his own car, which is then welded shut around him and dropped off at the nearest police station. (The trunk of the car, that is... the rest of the vehicle is torn away from the trunk and the trunk is sealed.) No one but Marvin and his crew are injured in this attack.
  • In an Omake series for Sekirei? Is that some new species of little sister? Naruto and Xanna decide to mess with the major religions of the world for kicks, Naruto getting Hinduism and Buddhism, Xanna getting Islam and Judaism, and both sharing Christianity. Unfortunately for Naruto, the Hindus easily accept that he's a god and name him the 10th avatar of Vishnu. When he tries to mess with the Buddhists by giving the Dalai Lama some meditation tips then using Sexy Jutsu and "putting on a show for them", the Dalai Lama thanks him for the tips and very politely asks Naruto not to do that. Naruto later admits to Takami that it wasn't any fun messing with them when they were so polite.
  • According to Ragyou, in this blog, Nui somehow burned a whole town to the ground the last time she cooked and that she used white phosphorus as an ingredient (going by that, she might have used a lot) and, in an earlier post, that, apparently, when her and Ryuuko's cooking abilities are combined, the result were brownies which are described to be "something worse than napalm made with household ingredients". One would have to take the assumption that Nui and Ryuuko are Lethal Chefs, although, the former seems to be border on being Lethally Stupid.
  • "Water + Veggies + Meats + Soy(a) sauce + Yukari Yakumo = nuclear bombs".
  • In Hunter, Willow played a prank on Larry by using magic to make him have dreams about having sex with the entire 49ers football team. Since Larry's gay, when he finds out Willow's responsible, he asks her to do it again.
  • Stargate Command tries to make Xander agree to being coddled and send his bodyguard Faith home in Teal'c's Wish by having them go through the same modified Navy Seal training course all members of SGC have to go through. Xander and Faith do so well, the instructors want them to stay on to teach various combat courses. Faith breaks several records and the most of the ones she doesn't break, Xander does. The instructor notes getting several offers for Xander from both Olympic sharp shooting teams and black ops groups.
  • The MLP fanfic series beginning with A Teacher With No Class combines this trope with Trauma Conga Line. First, Prince Blueblood agrees to give a talk to Miss Cheerilee's class about his role in the Equestrian government, but thanks to one Armour-Piercing Question too many the guy ends up passing over the Despair Event Horizon at how utterly pointless his existence is and ends up walking into the Everfree Forest hoping that something eats him. Not only does he fail to die, he ends up becoming the Unwitting Pawn of the villain of the sequel and ends up causing a horde of zombies to rampage through Ponyville, which everyone is led to believe he did on purpose. It sounds funny, but it really isn't.
  • In The Snow Has Stopped The Rain, Ichigo thinks this of when he first attempted to cast a Bakudo Number 1 and managed to cause it to literally blow up in his face. The fact that it was a binding spell should have made a reaction like that impossible.
  • In Vapors the Original Character Aiko Uzumaki ends up captured by Akatsuki and held in their base under the supervision of at least one member at all times. Her chakra is drained to almost nothing, she has no tools or weapons, no idea of where the other two prisoners brought in with her are, and a several day old cranial hemorrhage. She boasts to her captor's face that she intends to escape (although she lies about the method), taking the other two prisoners with her, and warns him right before she does. She then proceeds to escape her captor, break the other two away from their captors, and get out of the country.
  • The King Nobody Wanted has Mace Tyrell leading the battle of Storm's End. Rather than winning glory for the Dragons, this becomes a major Stag victory, in addition to seeing Stannis freed and Mace killed. Dragons and Stags alike agree Mace will most likely be remembered for this military blunder.
  • The whole focus of The Conversion Bureau: Worlds Where It Wouldn't Work is Xlestia (A representation of The Conversion Bureau's version of Celestia) trying to bring about a Conversion Bureau style scheme on a different fictional universes (and the planet Neptune), only to fail miserably.
  • In Soldier of Zero Wardes tries to make Saito feel jealous of his relationship with Louise and inadequate in battle via an ambush. Both fail miserably; the former because Saito and Louise have agreed that any relationship between them would be doomed to failure and the latter because Saito is a far better combatant than Wardes expected.
  • This Bites!:
    • While stalling Wapol, Cross attempts to kick him away in the garbage-can like form he takes midway through his Slim-Up Wapol technique. It might have worked if that form didn't compress Wapol's mass into a singular point, but as it is, it only results in a lot of pain in his foot.
    • When Ace and Luffy battle the Billions, one of them fires a cannon at Ace. Instead of dodging in his fire state, Ace tries to pull a Garp and catch the cannonball. It doesn't kill him, but neither does it work.
    • During the Enies Lobby Arc, we have Spandam and his constantly Tempting Fate (much to Sengoku's rage). But the biggest moment would have to be accidentally triggering the Buster Call and broadcasting that fact to the entirety of Enies Lobby, and the rest of the world. Worse, Spandam in canon did this as well.
    • Another fail of epic proportions from Spandam. Immediately after his above Epic Fail, he goes into a Motive Rant wherein he outlines his plan to destroy Enies Lobby with the Buster Call, use Nico Robin to revive the ancient weapon Pluton and eventually Take Over the World by replacing his superiors, the Five Elder Stars, via use of said ancient weapon. Thing is, he's still broadcasting. So the entire world, including the Elder Stars, can hear it. The result is Sengoku himself delivering an epic rant that can be found here.
    • One from CP9 themselves. One of their missions was to create a political alliance between families by arranging a wedding. Then Fukuro spilled the beans at the last moment, and the ensuing chaos led to the This Bites! recreation of the Red Wedding.
  • At one point in The Infinite Loops, Ichigo went to Hueco Mundo early to try and make things more challenging for himself later. Instead he conquered it in a single day and gained a loyal following as "Emperor Kurosaki I".
  • In The New Adventures of Invader Zim, the first fight that Team Save Earth (Dib and his new friends Steve and Viera) get involved in is a total failure on their part, with them not even getting any hits in, since the twins are too distracted by their ongoing Magic Versus Science argument. They would have died if Norlock hadn't swooped in and saved them (he then unfavorably compares their efforts to the Charge of the Light Brigade).
  • The Lord of Terror in This Time Around tries to make Urd doubt Keiichi by revealing all the perverted thoughts Keiichi has about her. Urd laughs at him and says that as Keiichi's girlfriend, if he didn't have perverted thoughts about her, she wasn't doing her job properly.
  • Faith in The Reality Theory Convergence once managed to kill a plastic fern in Xander's office.
  • Fates Collide: When Oda Nobunaga tries to fire an arrow, she uses improper technique, so the arrow only travels about a foot before falling.
  • In the My Little Pony fan animation Elements of Cringe, The Mane Six end up stuck in a clear box after walking into a trap, which Twilight tries to get them out of with a blast of magic... only for it to bounce back and knock her out.
  • In Ranma: Happenstance Gone Right, Gosunkugi tests out a magic talisman by using it to make Ryoga get lost while giving him directions. The talisman combines with Ryoga's No Sense of Direction to allow him to arrive at his destination in less than an hour.
  • White Sheep (RWBY): Cinder and Tyrian get stranded after the Battle of Haven because Tyrian, despite being the last person on their ship, jumped out to join the fray. The ship, of course, immediately crashed. Cinder is not amused.
    Tyrian: But you jumped out too...
    Cinder: I WAS NOT THE PILOT!
  • Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!: Momo and Itsuka, after infinite rock-paper-scissors rounds to decide who becomes the Class Vice-President, decide to do it on a coin toss. The coin promptly lands on its side.
  • In An ISOT in Grimdark, the Skaven attempt to terrorize Germany by introducing diseases into the food supply. However, it turns out that modern food safety standards work.
    • The first batch of the Plague Monk's best is spread in a granary... and promptly killed off by baking. The pathogen's creator had assumed that the infected grain would be primarily used for porridge, rather than bread, and not engineered it to survive 175C for half an hour.
    • The second batch was introduced into a holding tank in a dairy... and promptly caught by a middle-aged lab tech who was in charge of contamination tests. She handed off a nice big sample of Skaven bio-engineering to Army intelligence, and in return got the new bacterium named after herself (she would have preferred roses, but you can't win 'em all...).
  • The My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic Hello, This is Not a Scammer, I Promise: "Legit Collector" is one of Equestria's first phone scammers, but has absolutely zero success. It starts with him failing his tax scam on normal but smart ponies like Applejack, but then he accidentally calls the Physical Gods who rule his nation, the real head of the tax services, a redeemed villain who recently conquered Equestria, an un-redeemed villain who recently conquered Equestria, two con artists (who actually did commit tax fraud, but still manage to turn the scam around and con him out of everything he's got), and an actual baby. It ends with him trying to scam Discord, the God of Chaos, who decides to teleport him in a room with everyone he's tried to scam. Legit Collector is especially embarrassed to discover that even Flurry Heart, the baby, saw right through his scam.
    Legit: The baby didn't even fall for it?! [groans] Oh, oh that one hurts.
  • Korra asks Asami to teach her to use make up. Asami is instructing her to use to a eyeliner. Korra ends up poking her eye out. Asami then gives her some lipstick as the easier and safer option. Korra ends up with bandages over her mouth.
  • A Diplomatic Visit: In chapter 7 of the sequel Diplomat at Large, the Storm King tries to use "Aroint ye!" (literally, "Begone!") to trigger his Staff's magic. It doesn't work.

Alternative Title(s): Fanfiction


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