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Drives Like Crazy / Web Original

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  • Yes & No: A Dyseducational Road Movie shows the crazy drivers have better luck than the cooperative drivers.
    Show me how you drive, and I'll show you what kind of idiot you are.
  • Code MENT:
    • "Look! No hands!"
    • Episode Ten:
      Liberation Member: Sir, for the love of God, open your eyes!
      Tohdoh: I won't lie: I've been drinking again.
  • SCP Foundation: There's a joke entry for "Dr. Gerald's Driving Skills", the aforementioned Dr. Gerald being such a bad driver that his driving skills are themselves an SCP. (Of the Euclid class, no less.) Apparently, Dr. Gerald is a supernaturally dangerous driver, to the extent that letting him get behind the wheel of any vehicle for any length of time (even mere seconds) will result in a hail of explosions, blood, and twisted metal right out of a Michael Bay chase sequence. Note  Being a passenger in a vehicle Dr. Gerald is driving is fatal, but miraculously Dr. Gerald himself would only suffer minor injuries. The scientists decided to test their hypothesis that roller skates technically count as vehicles by making him skate into their Iranian counterpart's headquarters. Ka-boom. Someone had the idea to try to kill SCP-682 by putting it in a vehicle that Dr. Gerald will then drive, since nobody and nothing has survived a trip with him yet.
    "Plans are being made to construct a vehicle which can contain SCP-682 long enough for Dr. Gerald to actually drive it."
    • The last photo included in the file is a yellow sign with the marking "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING; NEXT 22 MILES". The caption has this apt explanation:
      We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.
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  • Shadowhunter Peril has Veronica Carter, who drives like a total maniac...and her vehicle of choice is a TANK. She enjoys blowing stuff up with it as well as driving, although it did come in handy during the Assault on Alicante arc, where she distracted a horde of demons, by shooting tank shells at them. Still, Ethan is scared of driving with her, and Umbra manages to find an excuse not to go with her.
  • The Hire: The Driver is usually some variant of this during chase scenes, but he spends almost the entirety of Star this way, much to the chagrin of the verbally abusive prima donna who failed to put on her seatbelt when she was asked to. He is very obviously enjoying himself too.
  • When GameChap tries the latest Need for Speed game, Bertie is behind the wheel. True to his character, he manages to plow through everything possible, crash spectacularly, become chased by the police almost instantly, and terrify Game Chap at the thought of him driving in real life. Also, again true to his character, Bertie blames everybody but him, including the police, for the crashes and mayhem.
    Bertie: He's a useless driver, he shouldn't even be a police officer! Quickly, let's go!
    Game Chap: He's trying to stop you, you know!
    Bertie: We've got to get away from him, he's obviously a rogue!
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  • There is a blog specifically to capture daily occurrences of bad driving in Los Angeles, known as L.A. Can't Drive. Firsthand accounts can be found in bushels here.
  • According to Brownie's Profile, she is known for driving while under the influence of caffeine, which is the equivalent of either driving drunk and/or under the influence of PCP, thus, she usually gets her licence taken away. Apparently, she also has a habit of running her friend Toki over and tends to drive on the curve, as well as crash into buildings. Amoridere states that, somehow, she drives on top of buildings and was once observed driving on electrical and telephone wires.
    • In that vein, according to Amoridere, Toki is this to a degree in that she sometimes tosses traffic/driving laws to the side and does what she wants, which often involves doing U-turns, doughnuts, and driving in reverse, all mostly occurring on a freeway and/or in heavy traffic, along with driving on top of other cars, doubly so when she wants to go somewhere fast. She also drives while doing something else, like changing diapers, for example. Unlike the aforementioned Brownie, she doesn't seem to get any sort of punishment for that.
  • It's not uncommon for the Achievement Hunter crew to be like this in their Let's Play Grand Theft Auto series, though Gavin Free takes the cake. So much so that his Team Lads teammates Michael Jones and Ray Narvaez Jr. will automatically declare that Gavin not drive if their event is critical.
    • For example, one GTA IV video showed Gavin getting into the cockpit of a helicopter. After nearly mowing down Michael (who'd not gotten in yet), Gavin finally lifts off into the sky... only to lose the chopper blades when they hit a nearby crane, having been weakened from the earlier damage, but landing perfectly in the process.
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  • Headless Wonder is like this in his Jak II: Renegade Lets Play. To quote a cutaway—"Alright, after a couple car swaps, explosions, and a police chase, we're finally at our destination!"
  • Gulab from The Solstice War gets behind the sticks of a stolen tank and proceeds to crash it into several different buildings. She can't even get it to go forward, so it crashes everywhere in reverse.
  • In Episode 10 of The Autobiography of Jane Eyre, Jane meets her employer Mr Rochester without knowing it's him. In the book, he fell off a horse on an icy road, and it's re-imagined as a minor car accident. Jane was standing in the middle of a road that is never busy, shooting an entry for her vlog, and he nearly ran her over. She obviously thinks he Drives Like Crazy, though she admits she should have been more careful as well.
  • During episode 9 of Vaguely Recalling JoJo, Polnareff learns the hard way that Kakyoin drives like crazy because his prior driving experience comes from F-Mega.
  • YouTube has plenty of "Bad Drivers" videos to laugh or cringe at, from all over the globe. While some videos show some gut-wrenching wrecks, there is a growing trend of "video-journals" by drivers who encounter traffic menaces on their trips to just about anywhere, complete with their verbal emotions towards the moving violations.
  • In one of Techmoan's Muppet skits, it's mentioned that the YouTube Pedant had his driving license revoked after somehow managing to run over an undisclosed numbernote  of people... inside a McDonald's.
  • Nobody at Outside Xbox is good at controlling a car in videogames, except Mike, the resident rev-head, on a good day. (As for the bad days, well, Mike is also the resident Mad Bomber.) Across Lego games, Grand Theft Auto games, racing games, action games, platformers, it's a virtual guarantee that things are going to catch fire, break, explode, or all three at once as soon as a car gets involved. At one point Luke seems rather confused by the idea that careful driving might lead to better overall speed than screaming around every corner with the pedal shoved all the way to the floor.
    Jane: (while being strafed by a fighter jet in GTA Online) I'm trying to drive erratically, but it's no more or less erratic than I normally drive.
  • Johnny's brother, Elliot, is this everytime he takes the wheel in L.A. Noire, intentionally going out of his way to run over as many pedestrians, objects, pedestrians with objects and even going as far as to wreck havoc on the game's physics just by driving!


Example of: