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Drives Like Crazy / Comic Books

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  • Top 10 has a Zen taxi driver that wears a blindfold: "I don't drive the cab, the universe does." He doesn't take you where you're going, he takes you where you need to be. And he always gets there, though not as tidily as he thinks: there are crashes and swerves all around him.
  • Delirium from The Sandman comics is, apparently, a very good driver. (Well, she says so.) She is an Anthropomorphic Personification, however, so perhaps mortal traffic laws and her passengers might not understand the fact.
  • Tintin:
    • In the book Tintin: The Calculus Affair, the eponymous boy reporter enlists the aid of a local Italian in pursuit of ne'erdowellery. The Italian overturns the local bazaar in his enthusiasm (as well as displacing Captain Haddock between the front and back seats at every bump) before being pulled over by a police officer... who lets him off with a warning because his name is too long to fit on the ticket.
    • Prof. Calculus in Tintin: Destination Moon... okay, he was very angry at that time. He also says that one of these days, he'll learn how to drive. "In this day and age, a man owes it to himself to know how to drive!"
  • Elsa Bloodstone in Nextwave drives on the left in America and taunts the "colonials" to drive on the "proper side", before smashing her jeep into a gigantic cyborg.
  • A large part of Ghost Rider's shtick is taking 90-180 degree gradesnote  at speed among other supernaturally enhanced motorcycle stunts.
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  • In one Marvel Adventures: The Avengers comic, Ka-Zar the jungle hero is visiting New York, and thinks he should get a driver's license (there aren't any cars in the Lost World where he lives). Everyone is terrified at the thought of having to be his tutor, since he fits this trope, and never realizes what their problem is.
  • The Joker. Vehicular is his 11th favorite form of homicide!
  • In some early issues of Justice Society of America, Dr. Mid-Nite was sometimes shown to drive the car. The problem here is that Dr. Mid-Nite is blind, and while it was never really addressed most fans assume this was the result. Most likely the artist simply didn't think it through.
    • This gets a Continuity Nod in the 1990s JSA miniseries, in which GL, Flash and Mid-Nite hire a car and Jay comments that they shouldn't have told the hire firm Charles would be driving...
  • In the Sin City story A Dame to Kill For, Marv is shown driving this way as he engages police officers in a car chase while Dwight McCarthy, who he's trying to take to Old Town following his betrayal by the title dame, is bleeding to death in the backseat. Marv spends the entire time talking about country music and doesn't even notice the carnage around him.
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  • It's a good thing that Gaston Lagaffe's Fiat 509, being The Alleged Car, is so slow that it can be outrun by pedestrians... because otherwise, he'd be a very dangerous driver. In one unfortunate attempt to speed up, he managed to overturn the car, which kept rolling on the couple bicycles that were tied to the roof. Gaston also once managed to get into a front-front collision... with a boat (the river had frozen over).
  • The National Lampoon did a comic-book format PSA "Heading for Trouble" where two sane-looking middle-aged men drive like lunatics while guzzling liquor, causing accidents, throwing road flares into the forest, one steering while the other works the pedals...
  • Spider-Man didn't really see the point of getting a driver's license since he lives in New York and already had a cool way to get around. When he finally did get a normal vehicle, it was a motorcycle, not a car. And then the Spider-Mobile came into existence. Despite being the worst case of The Alleged Car ever and being completely unnecessary, the really awful thing was how much Peter sucked at driving. The Spider-Mobile was ditched and he's since gotten an actual license, but he still isn't someone you'd want driving you back from the airport. One story has Spider-Man driving the Spider-Mobile (which could drive on walls much like its owner/namesake) on the Daily Bugle, covering the building with skidmarks, to piss off Jonah.
  • Monet calls out Sabretooth as this in Uncanny X-Men (2015). We see him speeding down the road, and he appears to be swerving a bit. Monet tells him to slow down, saying that he's as dangerous driving as he is in a fight.
  • The new Archer & Armstrong series casts Armstrong as an insanely reckless driver. To be fair, he's immortal, so personal safety isn't a concern for him. When he drives Archer around Rome on a scooter, the normally stone-faced stoic Archer is holding onto him for dear life and refusing to open his eyes.
  • Wild Card of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (Marvel) is notorious for how he drives his Mean Dog armored vehicle. Common in-universe consensus is that when Wild Card is behind the wheel, the Mean Dog becomes an extension of himself. Considering the man is inexplicably capable of destroying just about anything he comes into contact with just through everyday use, that's really saying a lot. The Mean Dog seats up to three, but surprisingly few people want to ride along with him. Humorously, a glance at Wild Card's toy biography reveals why this might be the case: while his primary skill is driving armored vehicles, his secondary specialty is assisting the company's chaplain. Presumably he's getting practice from all the uttered prayers and divine invocations of his passengers.
  • In the Asterix books, the free-spirited youth Justforkix is perceived to be this with a horse-drawn chariot.
  • The Teen Titans discover it's a bad idea to let Impulse drive after he badgers his best friend Robin into letting him drive the Batmobile:
    Wonder Girl: That was a disaster. I never put on a seatbelt so quickly in my life.


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