Drink when:
- Children are referred to as "little ones."
- Drink twice if the author writes an irrelevant note about her own husband and "little ones."
- Someone remarks upon the wisdom of said "little ones."
- Snape's appearance or Hagrid's chest hair is described in disturbing detail.
- Someone prays for something and it immediately happens, as if prayers are instantaneous magic.
- Someone prays for God to do something they easily could do themselves, like wash the dishes or open a door.
- Someone falls victim to Easy Evangelism.
- Someone mentions the numerous virtues of being a housewife and/or the evils of being a "career woman."
- Someone quotes the Bible.
- Drink twice if the person doing the quoting is Harry, who was raised in an atheist household and thus should not have Bible verses memorized by heart.
- Characters who weren't related in canon are Related in the Adaptation.
- Mention is made of a girl looking pretty, yet modest.
- Puppy Love between Harry and Hermione is hinted at.
- Dean Thomas is specifically described as being articulate and not mispronouncing words, even though the author doesn't call attention to the grammar of any other characters.
- A British thing, custom, or character is haphazardly replaced with an American Bible Belt thing, custom, or character.
- An adult comes across as an unintentionally creepy Memetic Molester.
- The author insults atheists.
- The author insults non-Christians.
- The author insults Catholics.
- The author insults Protestants who aren't her specific denomination or sect.
Alcohol Poisoning Version:
Drink for all of the above, plus when:
- A canon character is massively OOC.
- A "good guy" says or thinks something sexist/bigoted.
- A pre-teen child acts far younger than their age.
- The author misuses a semicolon.
