- Drink every time the investigative team discovers a body arranged in a needlessly complicated artistic fashion that looks like it would take a whole team of mad artists weeks to set up, and yet was done by a single perpetrator in a few hours. Take another drink if the investigators act completely unfazed and unquestioning of the elaborate scene before them and treat it exactly like any other mundane crime even though such a murder would probably be huge national news that would be talked about years afterwards.
- Drink for every needless Full-Name Basis. "Will" or "Jack"? Fine. "Will Graham" or "Jack Crawford"? Drink.
- "Garrett Jacob Hobbs"? Take a big gulp.
- Drink for every needlessly Last-Name Basis with a title. "Hannibal" or "Alana"? Fine. "Dr. Lecter" or "Dr. Bloom"? Drink.
- Drink every time someone is served human meat.
- Take another if they're totally unaware.
- Take another if you think it looks appetizing.
- Drink every time someone uses Purple Prose rather than just saying something. If there's an obtuse metaphor, it counts.
- Every time there's sexual tension or innuendo, take a drink.
- If you look away from the TV because something grosses you out, drink until you can look again.
- If there's sexual tension between Will and Hannibal, drink for every innuendo. If there's physical contact, keep taking drinks until it stops.
- If a character either comes Back from the Dead or does a FaceHeel Turn, finish your drink.
- If he makes a pun regarding cannibalism or murder, take a drink.
- If he commits a more minor crime (like battery/assault, theft, or breaking and entering), take a drink.
- If he gives a lengthy backstory about what thing they are enjoying, take a drink.
- If he shrugs off a suspicious person's questioning, take a drink.
- If he does something awful to a likeable character who doesn't deserve it, finish your drink.
- If he begins a montage (cooking, murdering, dressing, letter writing, etc.), take a drink when it starts then one for every minute it continues.
- If he commits a severe crime (like maiming, mutilating, abducting, or murdering) and it's not part of a montage, finish your drink.
- If he does it to a recurring or central character, follow it with a shot.
- If he takes Hannibal's advice, take a drink.
- If he speaks badly of Hannibal, take a drink.
- If you see the nightmare stag or antler motifs, take a drink.
- If he says something poetic/creepy/weird about death or crimes, take a drink.
- If he's hallucinating or having a nightmare, start drinking when it becomes apparent and stop only when it ends.
- If Laurence Fishburne starts Chewing the Scenery, take a big, big gulp.
- If he misses a blatant cannibalism pun or hint pointing towards Hannibal's crimes, roll your eyes then take a drink.
- If he does something incredibly unorthodox for an FBI Special Agent to be doing (e.g. breaking the rules or law, acting without backup, acting based on little evidence) then take a drink.
- If holds a meeting in his office, take a drink.
- If someone starts chewing him out for doing something, take a drink for every line of dialogue against him.
- If he does exactly what Hannibal wants him to, ponder how he ever made it to Agent-In-Charge while you finish your drink.