- Morticia from The Addams Family, whenever the player misses the skill shot:"Don't torture yourself."
- Kaminski the cameraman from America's Most Haunted"Following instructions written in blood leading to a morgue what could go wrong?"
- Rudy the Living Dummy from Fun House, as part of his overall Jerkass personality.
- Anyone in Medieval Madness who isn't a Large Ham will make up for it with snark to spare.
- Buzz from No Good Gofers is noticably snarkier and more Jerkass than his friend Bud.
- The Shrunken Head from Ripley's Believe It or Not!.
- Spider-Man (Stern) has J.K. Simmons reprise his role as J. Jonah Jameson to give player snark-filled instructions and comments.Jameson: "What're you waiting for, Chinese New Year? Go, go, go!"
Deadpan Snarker / Pinball