Deadpan Snarker / Live-Action Films

aka: Live Action Film

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• Your patron saint of Deadpan Snarkers — Mr. Groucho Marx. See any movie with The Marx Brothers.
• In A Christmas Carol (1984), the Scrooge of George C. Scott is a particular Deadpan Snarker.
  Mr. Poole: Mr. Scrooge, I presume?
  Scrooge: Indeed you do, sir.
  Mr. Poole: You don't know us.
  Scrooge: Nor do I wish to.
• Abominable: The clerk loves making dry quips, such as saying "Giddy up," when Ziegler says that his smoking is turning his lungs into leathery saddle bags.
• Schrader in Accepted, whenever he is exasperated by Bartleby's actions.
  Schrader: Yeah, cool guys. Let's start this fake college, and then we'll go start a meth lab somewhere. Come on, it's a gateway crime. That's how these things start.
• Wednesday Addams is a snarker par excellence in both The Addams Family and Addams Family Values
• Margo in All About Eve. "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!" Addison perhaps even more so. Come on, he has "wit" in his last name!
  • Pretty much every character has a claim to the throne but the crown just by sheer ratio goes to Birdie.
• Alan has several lines in American Dreamer, until he gets shot at. Then he has Large Ham moments in frustration.
• Arsenic and Old Lace: The evil brother and his sidekick have a wonderfully snarky discussion after the brother learns his aunts have killed more people than he has.
• Arthur (1981):
  • Hobson (played by John Gielgud). About every second line that comes out of his mouth is snark.
    Hobson: Thrilling to meet you, Gloria.
    Gloria: Hi.
    Hobson: Yes... You obviously have a wonderful economy with words, Gloria. I look forward to your next syllable with great eagerness.
  • Arthur himself has his moments:
    Perry's wife: [screaming] MY HUSBAND HAS A GUN!
    Arthur: I'm sure he does, madam. For all I know, he shot it while you screamed.
• Dr. Evil's son, Scott, in the Austin Powers series. Unlike his father, he is competent and intelligent in the area of actually being a successful evil ruler, but he is sadly always shot down by his father whenever he attempts to introduce some good ideas to the table. He often mocks his father's dumb and humorous plan names (i.e. The Alan Parson's Project and Preparation H), and constantly asks, whenever Austin is successfully captured, why he isn't simply just killed on-spot. He does eventually start getting respect from his father when he actually makes a legitimate attempt to be evil in the third film (so much so that he even begins losing his hair), only for his father to pull a Heel–Face Turn when it is revealed that he and Austin are brothers.
• José Ramos-Horta in Balibo is fairly prone to making sarcastic quips.
  Roger: (while listening to Indonesian propaganda over the radio) What are they saying?
  José: They're saying, "there's an Australian journalist in East Timor. When you see him, be sure to slit his throat."
  (Beat)
  José: (cheerfully) Good night, Roger.
• Intrepid Reporter Alexander Knox in Batman (1989), who snarks at the local government's constant denials of Batman's existence, even as it becomes more and more obvious. He's even not afraid to snark at a mob boss.
• Big Game:
  • Morris.
    Morris: He was accompanied by a set of small footprints.
    Hazar: What does that mean?'
    Morris: Usually, small feet.
  • Not that Hazar doesn't snark.
    Tour guide: Are you people terrorists?!
    Hazar: Well, I guess you could call us so.
• Il Bisbetico Domato: Elia has a handful of these moments throughout the movie.
• Blonde Crazy: Anne snarks against Bert like a reflex.
• James Donovan in Bridge of Spies snarks frequently and constantly, probably to cope with the stress of the situations he gets into.
• Tracy Beaker in the Children's Party at the Palace. She was especially sassy towards the Child-Catcher when he was trying to lure her into a trap just like what he did with Horrid Henry (trapping him in an Inescapable Net).
• Clerks — Randal Graves is this mixed with a generous helping of Jerkass. His cousin, Brodie in Mallrats is the same way.
• Con Air: Garland Greene offers sarcastic commentary on the other prisoners' actions during the film.
• The entire cast of Convoy has its moments, but the two main snarks are the protagonist, Rubber Duck, and its main antagonist, Lyle Wallace.
• The Covenant (2023): Ahmed. Especially notable in his first scene.

Kinley:"What was your job before this?"

Ahmed :"Mechanic."

Kinley :"You any good with cars?"

Ahmed :"Anything with an engine."

Kinley :"Oh yeah? Well what's this?" Gestures to the hood of the jeep he's sitting in.

Ahmed : Barely looks away from Kinsley's face. "That's an engine, sir."

• Darby and the Dead: Piper is the sarcastic girl in Capri's posse, often responding to other people in a deadpan tone with a snarky remark (for instance answering "still trans" after Taylor asks if she's got a tampon).
• The Dark Knight has Lucius Fox, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Lau, and The Joker.
  Bruce Wayne: I need a new suit.
  Lucius Fox: Yeah, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne.
  Bruce Wayne: I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
  Lucius Fox: [Looks at diagram] You want to be able to turn your head.
  Bruce Wayne: Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.
  Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight, you think that your client, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante, who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands, and your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.
  • An example for Alfred...
  Bruce: You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?
  Alfred: [Glances back at the sunbathing Russian women.] You could tell me the Russian for, "apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
  • An example for Joker...
  Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
  The Joker: Yeah.
  • An example for Lau...
  Lucius Fox: ... I've come to explain to you why we're going to have to put our deal on hold. We can't afford to be seen to do business with, well, whatever it is you're accused of being. A businessman of your stature will understand.
  Lau: I think, Mr. Fox, that a simple phone call might have sufficed.
  Lucius Fox: Well, I do love Chinese food. And Mr. Wayne didn't want you to think we'd been deliberately wasting your time.
  Lau: Just accidentally wasting it.
• The Dark Knight Rises gives this to a lot of the main characters, especially Selina Kyle and Bane.
  • When Bane attacks the stock exchange:
  Trader: This a stock exchange! There's no money you can steal!
  Bane: Really? Then why are you people here?
  • Some of Bane's lines during both of his fights with Batman fall into this.
  Batman: [to Selina] You've made a serious mistake.
  Bane: Not as serious as yours, I'm afraid. [Batman turns to face Bane]
  Batman: Bane.
  Bane: Let's not stand on ceremony here.... Mr. Wayne.
  • When Selina meets Stryver at the bar:
  Philip Stryver: [examining the print slide] Very nice.
  Selina Kyle: Mmm-hmmm. Not so fast, handsome. You got something for me?
  Philip Stryver: Oh, yes. [He signals to one of his guys, who locks the front doors. Selina smiles, nervously]
  Selina Kyle: I don't know what you're planning to do with Mr. Wayne's prints, but, I'm guessing you'll need his thumb. You don't count so good, huh?
  Philip Stryver: I count fine. [A thug cocks and puts his pistol to Selina's head] In fact, I'm counting to ten, right now.
  • When Bruce is dancing with Selina:
  Bruce Wayne: You wouldn't want any of these folks realizing you're a crook, not a social climber.
  Selina Kyle: You think I care what anyone in this room thinks of me?
  Bruce Wayne: I doubt you care what anyone in any room thinks of you.
  Selina Kyle: Don't condescend, Mr. Wayne. You don't know a thing about me.
  Bruce Wayne: Well, Selina Kyle, I know you came here from your walk-up in Old Town, a modest place for a master jewel thief. Which means that either you're saving for retirement, or you're in deep with the wrong people. [beat]
  Selina Kyle: You don't get to judge me just because you were born in the master bedroom of Wayne Manor.
  Bruce Wayne: Actually, I was born in the Regency Room.
  • Selina's confrontation with Daggett, where she is coolly offended by Daggett calling her a "dumb bitch".
• DC Extended Universe:
  • Alfred Pennyworth, as usual, but also Batman himself. In Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, there's this exchange:
    Batman: Still working, Alfred? You're getting slow in your old age.
    Alfred: It comes to us all, Master Wayne. Even you've grown too old to die young... though not for lack of trying.
    • He has mellowed down considerably in Zack Snyder's Justice League. He still snarks, but much less cynically.
  • In Justice League (2017), Bruce's reaction to meeting Arthur Curry, as the latter has him angrily pinned him up against a wall.
    Bruce: Arthur Curry... I hear you can talk to fish.
  • There's also General Swanwick, as shown in Batman v Superman, when Lois corners him in the men's bathroom to get answers.
    Lois: Is the US providing experimental military arms to rebels in Africa?
    Stanwick: You know, with balls like yours, you belong in here.
  • Several examples from Superman himself, from both Man of Steel and Batman v Superman.
    Dr. Hamilton: Hello, sir, my name is—
    Superman: Dr. Emil Hamilton. I know. I can see your ID tag in your breast pocket. Along with a half-eaten roll of wintergreen Life Savers.
    Lois: You let them handcuff you?
    Superman: Wouldn't be much of a surrender if I resisted.
    Lex: I don't know how to lose.
    Superman: You'll learn.
• Doctor... Series:
  • Lady Spratt from Doctor in Love has no time for her husband's attitude and lets him know:
    Sir Lancelot: What you want to let me in for attending this damn lecture for, I don't know. I should be pruning the roses.
    Lady Spratt: I was thinking of the roses, dear. You're apt to confuse pruning with amputating.
  • By the time of Doctor in Distress (1963), Sir Lancelot views Dr. Sparrow as an equal, which means that now Dr. Sparrow has no problem in taking the mickey out of him:
    Sir Lancelot: You know... you're quite wrong to despise these old folk remedies. I've got a maiden aunt who swears by garlic. Never without a bit next to skin. I'm convinced that's why she's lived to be 92.
    Dr. Sparrow: Perhaps that's why she's still a maiden at 92.
• Almost all the characters in the 1966 John Wayne film El Dorado.
  • Both main characters, on learning Mississippi's real name ( "Alan. Bedillion. Trehearne.")
  Cole Thornton (John Wayne): "Lord Almighty."
  And later, Sheriff J.P. Harah (Robert Mitchum): "Well, no wonder he carries a knife."
  • Deputy Bull (Arthur Hunnicutt), when Thornton and Mississippi come into town
  Bull: "...might have (recognized you) anyhow if I wasn't tryin' to figure out what that fella's got on his head."
  Mississippi: "It called a hat."
  Bull: "Well, I'll have to take your word for it."
• In Drive a Crooked Road, Harold Baker seems unable to open his mouth without a sarcastic comment coming out. It reaches the point where his partner-in-crime Steve tells to just shut the hell up for a while.
• In The Duff, Bianca's wit is as sharp as a razor. One memorable example occurs when she invades the boy's locker room, and one of them (wearing nothing but briefs) asks "Whoa, Bianca, what the hell is this?" she replies, "Oh, well, it kinda looks like a penis, only smaller."
• Olive in Easy A is definitely this. She seems to get it from her mother. As is Woodchuck Todd (her crush). And Mr. Griffith takes this trope up to eleven.
  Brandon: "Do you wanna go out with me?"
  (beat)
  Olive: "Brandon. You're a nice guy and all but... you're... not... "muh type"."
  Brandon: "Yeah, you're not my type either."
  Olive: "I know! I have a V where you'd rather see a P."
  Brandon: "Olive please..."
  Olive: "Brandon, just a couple of hours ago you told me you were kinsey 6 gay."
  Brandon: "You said I should pretend to be straight."
  Olive: "Yeah but not with me."
  Brandon: "I am tormented every day at school. Just one good, imaginary fling."
  Olive: "You are on crack! And not the good kind."
• Elvira in Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) is quite the deadpan snarker.
  Cop: "Do you know you were doing fifty in a twenty five miles per hour zone?"
  Elvira: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it."
• Elysium: Max to an extent. Considering what he's dealt with over his life and what comes next, anyone would be. Mouthing off to robots isn't too smart, though.
• Exit 0: When Lisa asks Billy where he was (looking into the tape he found in their room), Billy tells her to give him a break about it and they can go have fun. She disinterestedly says "Yay. I'm all for fun.".
• The cast of Fifty Fifty (1992), but especially Sam French and especially Jake Wyer.
• In Finding Neverland, Charles Frohman (the producer and financier of James M. Barrie's plays) spends most of his limited time on-screen being the deadpan, snarking, sensible Foil to the more animated, optimistic, and erratic Barrie.

  Charles Frohman: Twenty-five seats given to orphans. Perfect. Now my nightmare is complete.

• Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump. Well, look at who plays him.
• Samuel Gerard in The Fugitive, from his very first scene to his last.
  Gerard: Oh, wow, gee whiz, look here!...You know, we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in 'em.
• Joker in Full Metal Jacket. Doubles as a Meaningful Name. Also Eightball.
• Deconstructed in Funny People; George and the other comedians are certainly very quick-witted, snarky and quick with a cutting comment, but it's made fairly clear that they use wit as a substitute for actually forging meaningful connections with other people, and the often hurtful nature of their comments doesn't help either.
• Enid in Ghost World.
• General Joseph Colton from G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
• Godmothered:
  • When Eleanor says "A woman your age couldn't possibly still need someone to make her dreams come true," Mackenzie responds by saying "Yeah, right, because I'm clearly living the dream" in a sarcastic tone.
  • When Mackenzie gets home, she sarcastically says "I see everyone is still wide awake and watching TV. Only thing that would make this better is if you'd had pizza for dinner and you hadn't done your homework."
• Sinbad in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. For example, when Haroun's father says Allah will smile upon Sinbad for taking on lazy Haroun, Sinbad quips, "More likely he will laugh in my face."
• Phil Conners from Groundhog Day starts out as one (considering his actor, this isn't really a surprise), but Character Development leaves him more empathic as the film goes on.
• In the movie-musical Hairspray, Penny Pingleton gets in a good one. When Motormouth Maybelle recognizes that her son has fallen in love with a white girl, she warns the two lovers, "You're gonna have to deal with a whole lotta ugly from a never-ending parade of stupid." Penny answers, "Oh, so you met my mom."
• Mullins and Ashburn from The Heat.
  • Also Tatiana and most of the drug traffickers.
  • And the albino guy, but with more snark and less deadpan.
• Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
• Hellboy's father, Trevor Bruttenholm, seemed this way at times. Searching for Nazis on a "deserted" island, he's told, "There's nothing on this island but rocks and sheep." When they find the Nazis, he looks at the officer in charge: "They must be here for the sheep." That must be where HB himself got his snark from.
• Help!: Each of The Beatles.
• Marvin from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005). If not for his programmed personality, he would be pretty badass.
• In Hot Tub Time Machine, Lou is the king of this trope.
• The Hunger Games: Katniss Everdeen has her moments. Especially when bantering with Finnick.
  Finnick: You can swim, too. Where did you learn that in District Twelve?
  Katniss: We have a big bathtub.
• Eames in Inception is fond of this trope. As for that matter is Arthur. Usually at each other. A good bit of the fandom sees this as a sign of something else between the men.
• Quite a few characters from Indiana Jones, most notable among them being Jones himself and his father. It helps that in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Jones Sr. is played by Sean Connery.
  [secret door spins 360 degrees, leaving the Joneses back in the burning room where they started]
  Henry Jones Sr.: Our situation has not improved.
• Elmont from Jack the Giant Slayer. He is played by Ewan McGregor.
• Most versions of M from James Bond are this. Considering the titular agent is a borderline sociopathic cavalier who cares about his principles, himself, and nothing else, it's almost essential to keep him in check. Other characters have tendencies towards this — notably Tanner and Q — but M is the most prominent.
• Juno is the quintessential example, though the whole movie is rife with it.
• Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park (1993).
  Ian: Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? Yes?
  Hammond: (watching on camera feed) I really hate that man.
  • Later:
  Ian: (After surviving being knocked down by a T. rex) Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend...
  Ian: (after being chased by a T. rex) Do you think they'll have that on the tour?
  • And:
  Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
  Malcolm: Yeah, but, John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
  • Ellie Sattler can be pretty snarky as well.
  Hammond: Our attractions will drive kids out of their minds!
  Dr. Grant: What are those?
  Dr. Sattler: Small versions of adults, honey.
• Most of the characters in The Kid (2000) have their moments, but Russ' Sassy Secretary Janet takes the cake.
• Almost everyone in Kingsman: The Secret Service, notable instances are:
  • Merlin telling the recruits that he'll be very impressed if the person that didn't have a parachute during the skydiving test managed to crash into the target.
  • Charlie and Eggsy's first meeting is almost entirely Snark-to-Snark Combat.
  • Harry's farewell to the woman trying to prevent him from leaving the Corrupt Church:
    I'm a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at the military abortion clinic. So hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
• Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which was also written by Shane Black.
  Perry: WHO TAUGHT YOU MATHS ?
• In The Knowledge, the examiner Mr Burgess employs this trope constantly, to make the candidates uneasy.
• Waldo Lydecker from the classic murder mystery Laura. "You fail to understand that you're interrupting something far more important than your career. My lunch."
• Everyone in Lake Placid. Especially Betty White.
• Shane Black's The Last Boy Scout:
  Mike: It just happened, Joe.
  Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know, it just happened, it could happen to anybody... It was an accident right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife : "Oops I'm so sorry Mrs H, I guess this just isn't my week".
• Hawkeye from The Last of the Mohicans.
  Heyward: There is a war going on! How is it that you are heading west?!
  Hawkeye: Well we kinda face north and then, real sudden like, turn left.
• Darly in Leaving Normal. On walking into Marienne's nephew's room: "Oh my god. This room has "Please, God, don't make my son a fag" written all over it."
• Snow, in Lockout exists pretty much purely to deliver deadpan oneliners. The first scene in the movie:
  Langral: Again, what happened in that hotel room?
  Snow: Oh, it was coupon night and I was trampolining your wife.
  [Snow is punched in the face]
  Langral: You're a real comedian aren't you, Snow?
  Snow: Well I guess that's why they call it the punch line.
  [Snow is punched again]
  Langral: You don't like me, do you?
  Snow: Don't flatter yourself. I don't like anybody.
  Langral: With that attitude, I can see why nobody likes you.
  Snow: Oh, come on. People love me. Just ask your wife.
  [Snow is punched again]
  • Guy Pearce's role, the badass Snake Plisskin Expy seems to be a formidable master of Snark-Fu.
    Interrogator: Who was the man?
    Snow: His name was Fuk-Yoo. [smirk] He was Asian.
• Most of the cast of The Lower Depths (1957), but Yoshisaburo is the biggest example.
  Rokubei: Sutekichi, can I open the door?
  Yoshisaburo: Might as well open Pandora's box...
• The Mad Miss Manton: Two Examples:

  Edward Norris: Don't speak to anyone. I don't want to kill an innocent bystander.

  Peter Ames: Ya know, that's what I like about crazy men; that fine sense of distinction.

  • And another:
    Lt. Mike Brent: She's probably the kind of dame who would come back to haunt me. Otherwise, I'd shoot to kill.
• In A Man for All Seasons, title character Sir Thomas More gets in some zingers:
  Wolsey: The King wants a son- what are you going to do about it?
  More: [dry] I'm very sure the King needs no advice from me on what to do about it.
• Fanny Price in the movie version of Mansfield Park, quite unlike her original in the novel.
  Henry Crawford: You dance like an angel, Fanny Price.
  Fanny Price: One does not dance like an angel alone, Mr Crawford.
  Henry Crawford: What, a compliment? Let the heavens rejoice, she complimented me.
  Fanny Price: I complimented your dancing, Mr Crawford. Keep your wig on.
• The Matrix Reloaded Neo has a moment when he's just burst through a door that suddenly leads into the mountains.
  Link: [on the phone with Neo] You'll never believe this, but you're all the way up in the mountains.
  Neo: Really ?
• Midnight Cowboy: Enrico "Ratso" Rizzo has his moments of this, if not quite as much as his Muppet namesake Rizzo the Rat:
  Gretel: Gee, you know [the food] is free, you don't have to steal it?
  Ratso: Well, if it's free, then I ain't stealing.
• Eve Arden in Mildred Pierce. And pretty much any other role she had.
• MonsterVerse:
  • Godzilla (2014): Before Ford leaves for Japan to bail out his father, his wife Elle is trying to tell him that Joe is a good man who just needs some help after he lost everything the day Janjira turned into a nuclear hotspot. Ford responds he lost everything too but got over it, leading Elle to respond, "Well I can see that."
  • Kong: Skull Island: Captain Cole tends to have an almost Seen It All attitude, like when Mills calls him out for eating a can of beans right after being attacked by Kong.
  Cole: Yeah. That was an unconventional encounter.
  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): Mark Russell, Alan Jonah and Dr. Rick Stanton all have moments.
    • Mark's moments include when Chen claims that Emma wouldn't want the Titans exterminated even to save her own life, Mark, in the middle of his tirade, hypocritically says it wouldn't be the first time Emma prioritized her work before herself or her family. Later, when Stanton queries what he's asking to see Godzilla's normal movement patterns for, Mark snarks that it's because he wants to open a boat tour.
    • Alan Jonah is played by Charles Dance, and he has this exchange with his Mook Lieutenant when they first see the frozen Ghidorah before they set about releasing him:
      Asher: [Upon seeing Ghidorah trapped in the ice.] Mother of God...
      Jonah: She had nothing to do with this.
    • Rick responds to just about everything with a sarcastic quip. He calls King Ghidorah "Moe, Larry and Curly", and jokes that he wants kids who won't have flippers from the radiation in the Hollow Earth.
    • In the senate scene, Senator Williams directs several snarks and borderline-scorns at the Monarch brass and makes her utter disdain for the idea of doing anything other than blindly trying to exterminate the Titans clear, all in a consistently level tone of voice.
      "Thank you for the fifth grade history lesson, Dr. Coleman."
    • There's also Tarkan in the prequel graphic novel Godzilla Aftershock. When the kannushi on Kyushu immediately expresses relief at Emma Russell surviving the cave-in which both she and Tarkan just escaped, Tarkan simply waves and gives him a flat "Hi" to remind him, 'I was in there too thank you very much'.
• Joel McCrea as Joe Carter in The More the Merrier. Such hilariously deadpan answers.
• Mortal Kombat: The Movie has its fair share of snark.

  Johnny Cage

  "Liu, I hate this place. I'm telling you, I hate it. I'm in a hostile environment, I'm completely unprepared, and I'm surrounded by people who probably want to kick my ass. It's like being back in high school!"
  • Raiden:
  "The fate of billions will depend upon you. Heh heh heh heh! ...sorry."

  Walking away after telling Johnny and Sonya which of their fears will trip them up

  Liu: Wait! What about me?
  Raiden: Oh, you.
• Mystery of the Wax Museum has Florence, who can't seem to have a conversation without snarking at her interlocutor, generally in rapid-fire 1930s slang.
• Mythica: Dagen. Practically everything he says is some kind of witty, cutting remark.
• David from No Kidding can be when under stress:
  Mrs. Spicer: How much extra help have you specifically to aid with childcare?
  Catherine: A Matron, doing a holiday job for us. She's from a small public school.
  Mrs. Spicer: Is she qualified?
  David: No, no. The school in question insists on employing struck-off African witch doctors.
• Marja in None Shall Escape displays shades of this.
  Wilhelm: What are you staring at?
  Marja: I'm trying to see one spark of pity.
  Wilhelm: In which eye?
  Marja: The left one.
  Wilhelm: (chuckles) That's the glass one.
  Marja: I know.
• Now You See It...:
  • Danny, responding to much of Allison's enthusiasm with dry annoyance.
    Allison: The contestants who get the most screentime are the ones who are wildly charismatic, extremely competitive, and have usually overcome some sort of heartbreaking obstacle to get here.
    Danny: Well, right now the only heartbreaking obstacle in my life is you.
  • Max has his moments as well, such as this exchange.
    Madame Suzette: Danny, do you have a family history of paranormal abilities? Your mother? Your father?
    Danny: No...
    Madame Suzette: An aunt, possibly?
    Danny: Not that I know of...
    Max: Maybe a long lost cousin, twice removed, on your father's side?
• James Norrington in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl:
  Norrington: Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the remainder of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?
  Jack: Inescapably.
• Sir Benjamin from Raising the Wind is perpetually fed-up and grouchy, and isn't afraid to let this be known as he takes it out on all and sundry:
  Cab Driver: I just want to exchange addresses with the young lady.
  Sir Benjamin: Although you might find it hard to believe, this is a concert hall and not a marriage bureau!
• Both Nick and Roy in R.I.P.D. , and given their line of work, it comes to no surprise.
• Grave-Robber has some moments of this in Repo! The Genetic Opera.
• Alan Arkin as Peevy in The Rocketeer, who speaks with understated dryness.
• Riff-Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, especially in the takeover scene:
  Dr. Frank: I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home! I'm going home!
  Magenta: How sentimental.
  Riff-Raff: Yes... and also presumptuous of you. You see... when I said 'we' were to return to Transylvania... I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see... you are to remain here... in spirit anyway.
• Ed in Rubin and Ed. This is partly just his natural personality and partly a defense mechanism he created to cope with his various insecurities and his Dark and Troubled Past
• Both Wallace Wells and Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. To a lesser extent, Ramona.
• Scrooge (1970): The Spirit of Christmas Present, of all people. Not in the book and not in most adaptations, but in the 1970 musical Scrooge he has a ton of deadpan gems. For instance, when Scrooge says he would like to look into the window of the Cratchitt house the Spirit, inviting him by indicating with his hand, says, "It will cost you nothing—which I feel sure will be good news for you." Scrooge asks if the Cratchitts will be able to see him. The Spirit replies, "No...which I feel sure will be good news for them."
• Mr. Palmer from the 1995 Sense and Sensibility. He's a minor character, but he makes the most of it by Deadpan Snarking up a storm.
  Mrs. Palmer: (talking to someone else) If only he'd gone to Combe Magna. We live but half a mile away.
  Mr. Palmer: Five and a half.
  Mrs. Palmer: I cannot believe it is that far. I can't believe it.
  Mr. Palmer: Try.
  • Well, he's played by Hugh Laurie...
• Various characters in Serenity, notably Mal and Jayne.
  The Operative: Are you willing to die for your beliefs?
  Mal: I am.... [draws and fires, forcing the Operative to take cover] 'Course, that ain't exactly plan A.
  • Not the only Nathan Fillion character with this trait.
• Klaus has this role in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
  Klaus: Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?
  • Sunny too, on occasion, made all the funnier in that she speaks all in baby talk, with the meaning given in subtitles.
• Mark O'Brien of The Sessions manages some real zingers, some dependent on his condition due to polio. When all you can move consciously is your mouth...
• In the "unofficial" Terminator sequel Shocking Dark, Franzini doesn't speak much, but when he does he proves himself to be exceptionally sarcastic.
• The talking cow Bluto encounters while tripping in Shrooms. Who is later revealed to have been Tara.
• Almost all of the main characters of Sin City.
• Magenta from Sky High (2005). She even dryly sings the aforementioned "Rudolph the Red Noise Reindeer" line to tease Zack. And Warren Peace.
• Most of the characters in Smiles of a Summer Night, but especially Fredrik and Mrs. Armfeldt.
• Alex Hughes from Snow Cake. Vivienne even calls him out on it, calling him 'Mr. Sarcastic'. Alex is played by Alan Rickman.
• In Star Trek (2009), Captain Kirk fills this role with a side of ham. Bones McCoy also gets in a few, but Bones was always a Deadpan Snarker. It's one reason for his fanbase.
  • Kirk and Bones again in Star Trek Into Darkness. And Spock — in spades.
• Suspect: Kathleen to Carl when she is unable to get much of an answer out of him at first: "And maybe I'll play quarterback for the Redskins next year".
• Thirteen Days: Margaret, the White House operator.
  Commander Ecker: Commander Ecker
  Margaret: Commander Ecker , this is the White House Operator. Please hold...
  Commander Ecker: Shit.
  Margaret: Honey, you don't know what shit is.
• In Toothless roughly half of everything that comes out of Katherine's mouth is snark, especially when she learns the ropes of her new job.
• Top Gun: Goose. "The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid."
• True Believer: Eddie Dodd, like a lot of characters portrayed by James Woods.
• Twice Round the Daffodils:
  • Henry is rather a supercilious man and uses his snark to let the other patients know this:
    John: I'd like to see 'em swing a pick.
    Henry: The extent of a man's usefulness in this world is not judged exclusively by the way he "swings" or otherwise manipulates a "pick".
    John: Swallowed a dictionary, have you?
    Henry: In a matter of speaking, yes, I work for an encyclopaedia company.
  • Nurse Catty is driven to it by having to deal with everybody else driving her mad:
    Joyce: We can't be seen from the building, can we?
    Nurse Catty: Not unless Matron possesses a periscope, which I rather fancy she does.
  • Nurse Beamish is too, when standing up for herself:
    Nurse Beamish: I just opened it, and it... came away in my hand, nurse.
    Nurse Catty: It couldn't have done.
    Nurse Beamish: Well, it did, nurse.
    Nurse Catty: Don't contradict me, Nurse Beamish.
    Nurse Beamish: All right, it didn't come away in my hand, then. It took an immediate dislike to me, hopped off the hinge, and crushed my foot all by itself... nurse.
• Bobby Boucher in The Waterboy, though it isn't immediately apparent behind his squeaky voice and speech impediment.
  (Bobby reads a note from the Suggestion Box that says "Eat shit and kill yourself!")
  Bobby: ...Not exactly what I'd call constructive criticism...
  (Bobby's mother is deliberately embarrassing him in front of his new girlfriend at dinner)
  Bobby: Excuse me ladies, while I go kill myself.
  (Meaney, a huge defensive end, is called in as a running back in an attempt to neutralize Bobby)
  Meaney: Your ass is mine! WHOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOO!
  Bobby: You sound like a big choo-choo train.
• Applies to David, Rose, and Casey in We're the Millers.
• Boris Yellnikoff from Whatever Works.
• In The Whole Town's Talking, Jean Arthur's character is hilariously snarky for most of the movie.
• Willy Wonka, as portrayed by Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, has elements of this character. The most notable is whenever someone demands he "do something"; his response is a monotone: "Help. Police. Murder."
  • During his heroic efforts to save Mike Teavee from his fate: "No. Stop. Don't. Please."
  • Johnny Depp's version in the newer Charlie and the Chocolate Factory also has a few moments like that, as well as Veruca Salt.
  • Grandpa Joe delivers much of this, along with bits of Gallows Humor and Pungeon Master, all through the 1971 movie version, at least by the time he and Charlie enter the Wonka factory. Much of this is addressed to Charlie about the other young visitors and/or their accompanying parents.
  • When the remaining guests [minus the Gloops] are getting on board Wonka's boat:
  Willy Wonka: All aboard, everybody.
  Mr. Salt: Ladies first, and that means Veruca.
  Grandpa Joe [to Charlie]: If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.
• Barrister Sir Wilfred in Witness for the Prosecution.
• In The Wizard of Oz, despite his sweet, tender nature, the Tin Man occasionally makes a mild snarky quip. For example: after the winged monkeys tear the Scarecrow to pieces:
  Scarecrow: They tore my legs off, and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out, and they threw it over there!
  Tin Man: Well, that's you all over.
• Andy Knightley and Sam Chamberlain from The World's End.
• Bromhead in Zulu, very much so.
  Chard: Don't worry, Miss Witt. The Army doesn't like more than one disaster in a day.
  Bromhead: Looks bad in the newspapers and upsets civilians at their breakfasts.

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