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aka: Wild Mass Guessing

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Wild Mass Guessing is a fun and popular portion of TV Tropes, and we just can't let that slide. This page is for one person to bombast the community by restating show canon and acting like it is somehow worthwhile for everyone to read it. There will be unmarked spoilers ahead.

  • Outside of Doctor Who, no one is a Time Lord. Even characters with Time Lord-like powers do not belong to that specific race, unless specifically stated.
    • Also, just because they have an item doesn't make that item their TARDIS.
  • Haruhi Suzumiya is responsible for absolutely nothing outside of her own 'verse.
    • As is Joshua not responsible for anything outside of his.
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  • Nothing is All Just a Dream. (Unless of course it is).
  • There are no Neon Genesis Evangelion spinoffs.
    • Only official AU spinoffs. Oh, and crossovers. You're very welcome. Even these do not take place during Instrumentality when everyone is Tang (which is properly called LCL).
  • Star Wars has an official policy that the most recent edition of a given film has highest priority in canon. According to that, Greedo shot first. You are free to ignore this policy. Keep in mind that doing so still does not mean "Han Shot First", since that would imply Greedo got a shot off, which did not happen in the original version at all.
  • Nobody is Jesus. Except for Jesus. Even Jesus analogues are not him.
  • Garfield is still alive.
  • Batman and Calvin are not furries.
    • And while we're on the subject, Hobbes is not, nor will he ever will be, Tyler Durden.
    • Calvin also doesn't have a learning disability (not that there's anything wrong with learning disabilities, of course).
  • The Master and the Master are not the same Master. Sorry.
    • However, The Master is also not either of them. You're welcome.
  • Altair killed no one outside of the world of Assassin's Creed. Especially characters in other works.
  • Actors who appear in multiple, non-connected works, are playing different, non-connected characters unless explicitly said otherwise.
  • Supernatural, Doctor Who, Pushing Daisies and Heroes do not take place in the same universe, sadly.
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  • Snape Kills Dumbledore.
  • Smurfette and Sasette were created by Gargamel. Smurfs are asexual creatures. The way Smurfs reproduce is that a stork brings a baby Smurf once every blue moon. The Smurflings were adult smurfs who messed with the Sands Of Time and got turned into children. Vanity is not gay, just overly flamboyant. Peyo said it so DON'T ARGUE.
  • Replicants are androids. Get over it. Whether or not Deckard is a Replicant doesn't matter.
  • Most Epileptic Trees theories just aren't true.
  • What Marche did in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance was for a just cause. He was kind of a jerk about it, but any claims of villainy are an Alternate Character Interpretation at best.
  • Ferris Bueller was a bit of a snot, but he had an excused absence. Regardless of any other hijinks, Principal Rooney had no justification for leaving the school of which he is the head in order to "catch" a student who had been knowingly excused by his parents, nor legal standing to do anything if he had succeeded in doing so. Harming the Beuller's dog and breaking into the Ferris household on an unreasonably personal vendetta make him the villain of the story.
  • No One is possessing Mr. Mew, Shiki just used a Psychokinesis-type pin (Groove Pawn) to control Mr Mew.
    • But, Shiki tells Neku that Mr. Mew does his own thing, so she isn't controlling him. Which means Mr. Mew is either possessed or the Groove Pawn pin also gives the animated object an A.I.
  • Edward Cullen's Bishie Sparkle does not come from sweating. It comes from sparkling.
    • It comes from being on the verge of spontaneous combustion because he's under the fucking sun. Get a hat or something, god damn.
  • Star Trek: Enterprise takes place in the same universe as the other Star Trek series. It is not set in an alternate timeline whatsoever, nor is it a holodeck recreation (except for the final episode). The only reason we have continuity glitches is because the writers made mistakes.
    • Also, Hoshi is not genetically engineered or an alien, she's just really good at languages.
  • Robin Williams was a completely human comedian/actor with no special universe-controlling powers.
    • Except, of course, the power to capture our hearts.
  • Walt Disney's head is not frozen in a cryokinetic chamber under Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. For starters the modest 1960s Disney studio could never have afforded to build a laboratory to support a then-untested body preservation method, and even if they could they wouldn't be stupid enough to stick it in one of their own theme parks. Plus, why would Walt Disney only want his head frozen, and not his entire body?
  • TV Tropes is not part of a conspiracy to control us all. That pot holing is Just For Fun.
    • And it is most definitely not using subliminal messaging to control the world's leaders. Oh, and it has nothing to do with that ninja. No siree, nothing.
  • Marsellus Wallace finds intercourse with anyone except Mrs Wallace to be extremely distasteful.
  • Annie and Kat are just close friends. Preteen girls are just big on saccharine affection.
    • The same can be said for the main cast of Azumanga Daioh, save Kaorin, and even that's one-sided. They're all just friends. Especially Yomi and Tomo.
  • Candle Jack is a cartoon character from Freakazoid!, and you will not get kidnapped by just saying his name in Real Life or by typing his name. See I'm still here, he hasn't ki Yoink!! And to think that he was a Fast Typer too.
    • He does, however, need more rope, but that fact is purely coincidental.
    • Candle Jack. See? You don't need to be afraid anymo You'd think that they'd learn after that last guy...
    • Candle Jack. There. Deal with i Edit Wars truly are disturbing things. Sure you want to try editing this out, Candle Jack?
    • Candle Jack, Candle Jack, he can't catch me!
      • Candle Jack... And nothing happened at all.
  • Lelouch is dead. Simple as that. And the creators love trolling about it.
  • Outside of a Shared Universe fictional characters will seldom if ever cross from one work of fiction to another, particularly not in disguise. Nor will their children. Exceptions are made for certain public domain characters who show up everywhere, but that's a completely different story.
  • Calvin is not a Mage, Vampire, Changeling, or anything else from The World of Darkness.
    • And he isn't a a Genius either.
      • Also Calvin Ball HAS NO RULES, save the ones explicitly stated in the comic: You can't play it the same way twice, and don't question the masks.
  • Whatever Tzeentch's plan is, he's not going to be telling us any time soon.
  • Unless a scene is explicitly stated to be one character's description of events, it can be taken as showing what "really" happened and is not the work of an Unreliable Narrator.
  • That episode you don't like really exists. Even if subsequent works don't follow off of their story, the works themselves don't magically get de-created. However, it is just fiction, so you are free to ignore it without getting all snitty about it. All of it is just a show, you should really just relax.
  • House of Leaves is metafiction and is deliberately difficult to understand. Any meaning you find is one that you apply to it. There is no answer.
  • The writers of Family Guy are not trying to get the show cancelled.
  • Nobody outside of the Death Note 'verse has a death note, or at least a functional one.
    • Kisuke Urahara and Gin Ichimaru were never known as anything else. The souls of both L and Light Yagami belong to oblivion.
  • Star Trek is set on a spaceship.
    • With the exception of the 2009 movie and its sequels, all Star Trek series are set in the same continuity.
    • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The "Benny Russell" reality is not real, just a hallucination caused by the Prophets.
  • Dungeons & Dragons (1983) was not set in Hell. The Dungeon Master was not Satan. They didn't die in the roller coaster accident, and were in fact given the opportunity to go home in the unaired Grand Finale.
  • Spike is dead. If the creator decides to make a sequel, he may un-die, but that would be a Retcon.
    • However, Spike is not dead.
    • But Spike is probably dead by now.
    • And Spike is alive except in one Alternate Continuity, in which he is dead.
    • Also, Spike is a vampire.
    • Spike is not even canon, his scenes in part 7 were NOT FILMED.
    • Spike is also not dead.
    • Spike is likely alive.
    • Spike isn't dead either.
    • And Spyke is most definitely alive.
    • Additionally, Spike is possibly alive.
    • Spike is also alive. His appearance as a demonnote  was part of a dream sequence.
    • And Spike is a species, so some members are alive and some are dead.
  • Squirrel Girl is just an attempt to mock people who take comics seriously. However, everything she did do is canon.
  • You lost The Game.
    • But only if you were playing it at the time, it is perfectly possible to stop playing or to never begin playing in the first place.
  • Sir James Paul Mccartney, born 18 June 1942, is alive and well.
    • He is also completely human, and is not a robot, clone, or walrus.
  • Chuck Norris is an 81-year-old actor who is in great shape for a man his age. That's all.
    • Nor did he ever achieve during his career the same physique, speed or power as Bruce Lee.
      • On a related note, Bruce Lee died in 1973 due to a hyper-adverse reaction to headache medication, as well as overtraining. Despite the beliefs of a tribe Malaysia, he is not a god.
  • Popeye and Bluto are two heterosexual males fighting over the affections of Olive Oyl, a mutual acquaintance.
  • Barack Hussein Obama is a human being, born 4 August 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii- one of the 50 states of the U.S.A.- to a Kenyan man and an American woman. He is a lifelong Christian, though muted in his faith, and has never sworn by the tenets of Islam, Judaism, any atheist philosophy, Jedi Knighthood, or any color of Lantern Corps. It is ridiculously likely he is not directly associated with Jesus, Nyarlathotep, Hitler, or Satan.
    • He was joking when he said he was from Krypton. Kryptonians are not considered natural-born U.S. citizens, which precludes one from becoming president, and are in fact, not even real.
  • You are a person of various strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. Your satisfaction in life comes primarily from how well you acknowledge and exploit these attributes, though there will always be aspects out of your control, and that's okay.
  • Waylon Smithers is Mr. Burns's assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.
  • Elvis Presley is dead. He died on August 16, 1977. He did not fake his death. His middle name is spelled "Aaron", with two A's, because he spelled it that way in the latter part of his life. It's spelled that way on his grave marker because he's under it. He was not an alien who "just went home". Other musicians composed; he decomposed. He's frickin' DEAD.
  • The writer of My Immortal simply had a really weird sense of humor, was not good at writing, and was one of those people who whines if not everyone likes the same things as her.
  • Organization XIII, despite being somewhat sympathetic, were not really good guys. This should have been evident when they were trying to mass murder entire planets to regain their souls, but was mitigated by their bishi factor.
  • The Dark Side is actually evil, and people who turn to it will also turn evil...unless your name is Darth Revan, Kyle Katarn or Galen Marek.
  • Slendy does not want twenty dollars. Who needs green when you've got blue and orange?
  • Also, Aerith is still dead.
    • Adding to that, it's romanized as Aerith. It might not be the most comfortable pronunciation, but it's still the translation that gets the most accurate meaning across (Earth).
  • Bert and Ernie are two good friends who happen to share an apartment, presumably so that neither has to pay too much rent. Also, Batman and Robin, particularly in the 1960's TV show, are partners in crime fighting, and a father and adopted son in their civilian identities. Also, Larry and Balki... you get the idea.
    • Unless two characters of the same sex are explicitly shown as being in a homosexual relationship or having sex with each other, it's safe to say that they are not doing so unless the author states otherwise. The same can be said of heterosexual relationships.
  • All humans will, without exception, eventually die.
  • Marsellus Wallace's briefcase does not contain souls, a nuclear bomb, all the evils of the world, or anything otherworldly or incredible. It's just a briefcase with a MacGuffin.
  • Drawcia did not make a Deal with the Devil involving Dark Matter and/or 0, not even in the Japanese version. Dark Nebula is related to Dark Matter, but is a seperate being from 0 despite the similar Japanese name.
  • Ciel and Sebastian aren't gay.
    • Neither are Axel and Roxas. Also Axel is not a desperate whore and has not had sex with ANYBODY.
  • Pinkie Pie is not a mentally unbalanced and unstable pony who bakes her friends into cupcakes. She may be a little crazy, but it's the wacky kind of crazy, not the stabby kind,
  • Ghetsis never raped or sexually abused N.
  • This is in fact a Zaku, pal! A ZAKU!!!!!
    • Char's Zaku is an Ace Custom special model designed for ace pilots. The specific modifications to the unit give it a 33% more powerful reactor, which ends up giving it enhanced thrust. The model Char uses has been used by various Zeon aces, such as Johnny Ridden (whose Zaku is a different shade of red) and the Black Tri-Stars (whose Zakus are the color you'd expect). Char himself used various tricks as well to increase his momentum, and had a bit of a reputation for pushing his machines to the limit, making the Zaku appear three times faster than an average Zaku. Unless you're an Ork, painting a giant robot red will not make it go three times faster.
  • Bowser and Peach are not having an affair behind Mario's back. This also means Peach is not the mother of Bowser Jr. or any of the Koopalings.
    • Nor is Mario a communist or a sociopath.
  • God really is good, and Satan really is evil. Jesus is part of the Holy Trinity with God the Father and is in no way working against Him. Also, Satan’s permanent defeat at the end of time is a Foregone Conclusion.
  • minus. is not a deity, malicious trickster, Really 700 Years Old, or a sociopath. She is just a child who can bring anything she imagines to life and doesn’t think things through.
  • Speaking of which, Anthony Fremont is not deliberately trying to hurt anyone, either.
  • Not every character played by Sean Bean dies.
  • Tom Bombadil’s history and identity is deliberately unknown, and he is not tempted by the Ring only because he has no ambitions. Were he to keep the Ring, he still would not be able or willing to stop Sauron from conquering the entire world including his forest. He is not Eru Ilúvatar or any other named character.
  • The residents of Animal Farm being unable to tell the pigs apart from the humans at the end just means the pigs’ actions are indistinguishable from those of the humans and can now walk upright. There is no shapeshifting, nor supernatural events of any kind except for animals having human intelligence.
  • There is no way to tell whether the Inner Party is lying about anything, or telling the truth about anything. Nor is the Appendix meant to exist in-universe, but only so the readers understand how Newspeak works.
  • Yugioh The Abridged Series is not the real canon.
  • Chara is not secretly Odio.
  • There is no "right side" in Fire Emblem: Three Houses. All four sides are morally gray and none of them are shining Paragons of justice.
  • Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth are just good friends and work acquaintances, nothing more nothing less.
  • Unless expressly stated otherwise, no character is aware of their own fictionality. Even looking right at the camera doesn’t prove anything.
  • The Loud House: The Loud family is not abusive or incestuous, Lincoln doesn't hate living with his sisters and his white hair is just a quirk of genetics, Lori and Leni have never been pregnant, Luan is dating Benny and not Maggie and her April Fool's persona is just being an overzealous prankster, not because she's mentally ill, and Leni isn't brain damaged; she's just not that bright.
  • The Rugrats Theory is not true— Tommy, Chuckie, and the twins are alive and well, Charlotte gave birth to Angelica and never did drugs while pregnant, Cynthia is just a doll, Chas's first wife did die but it has nothing to do with his neuroticismnote , Kira is not a prostitute, and Kimi wasn't taken away.
  • If a story involves Talking Animals or Animate Inanimate Objects, drugs or crazy experiments weren't involved unless it's outright shown.
  • Winnie-the-Pooh: The animals actually can talk in this universe, so Christopher Robin talking to them is not a sign of schizophrenia.
  • Laverne & Shirley: The "L" on Laverne's shirt stands for her name, not "lesbian".
  • Happy Days: Fonzie is not an alien, nor does he have superpowers, and neither he nor Mork killed Chuck Cunningham.
  • Sesame Street: The Count may be a vampire, but he doesn't drink blood.
  • Scooby-Doo: Shaggy is not a stoner, much less Scooby, Velma's sexuality varies depending on the adaptation, she (usually) isn't depressed, and Fred and Daphne are sometimes a couple but even then they probably don't have sex while everyone else looks for clues.
  • Bellatrix Lestrange is not in love with Lord Voldemort. She is fanatically supportive of his cause because his political views—that anyone with Muggle ancestry, no matter how remote, should be killed—perfectly align with hers. She reveres him as the only one willing to do what is “necessary”, in her mind, to fix what she considers a problem, but neither she nor he is capable of love. They do have a child together as revealed in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, but this still doesn’t mean they love each other.

Alternative Title(s): Wild Mass Guessing


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