Most user pages are in the standard, neutral wiki.
But not mine. And here's why.
Snarky, sarcastic, misanthropic and sociopathic. These are some of my finer qualities. On a good day. Oh — don't forget alcoholic. How could I leave that one out? Seriously though, when I'm not feeling lazy and/or manic-depressive, I'm a musician of some kind. Though I'd rather sit in bed with the covers up, watching television. Probably because every band I've been in recently has been severely Blessed with Suck leading to all manner of confrontations, fights and backstabbing - could be partially my own fault for setting up a Real Life plan that inevitably backfires. Musicians really are a lovely lot. Wish I'd stuck to being a programmer - I could be working for Sony on the newest God of War game or something by now! I'd stop being such a fool if I wasn't a slave to Chaotic Evil, losing touch with reality and seeing the world as a bunch of Mooks. This sounds like a bunch of melodramatic BS, but it's just me. Nice to meet you!
What else about me... oh, I used to wear a Nice Hat but it blew off in the wind on the way home doing 60 mph down the motorway (that's freeway/interstate to Americans). It was a fedora which I used to wear because of my burgeoning obsession with Film Noir. The hat was also a totem of my preference for a return to common decency and improved moral standards, which as something as a non-Sociopathic Hero could be regarded as hypocritical, but I always figure just because I don't like mankind in general doesn't mean I should be rude about it. I am almost immune to Nightmare Fuel, probably because I always expect the worst. Although The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum came close. I always fancy myself as a badass but am damn sure I'm only ever gonna be a Smug Snake. And that's when I can be bothered to do the whole Badass in a Nice Suit part. Despite being such a misery I still believe in The Power of Rock and The Power of Love. Especially the former. If you want an accurate description of me, think Dexter without the killing. But that'd be much easier if I weren't lazy. Or too busy taking Snark Bait about things I'm not a fan of.
Aside from that, my Crowning Moment of Awesome this year has been converting a standard dusty Xbox into a fully-fledged home entertainment device, by way of a replacement dashboard and a well-crafted media player. After some tweaking and cajoling I have a nice 500GB Seagate harddrive in there, filled to the brim with media. All the entertainment you can handle in one handy backpack-sized box. Nice. Allow me to gloat about it for a moment. And by moment, I mean several pages. In fact, I usually have it running with a film or something in the background while editing things here. Why put up with adverts (commercials) and other crap when you can playlist your own channel? Or stream others, like BBC iPlayer or Shoutcast for example. All television on demand, all the time. That's how it should be. See below for all the films and games I have on there.
Oh, and the most important thing of all on this page that isn't just self-important drivel: BRING BACK FIREFLY!!! Rule 34 was made for Inara. And Kaylee. Hell, probably the lot of them if you swing both ways.
Some sayings I like.
- Sometimes you have to be a c** t to get things done.
- There is Truth in Television. But just like in the world of politics, you have to dig to find it. Worth it.
- Laser-Guided Karma might not always happen. There might not be a God. But everyone gets theirs in the end.
Random facts about me.
- My favourite colour is blue. And I like the blues, but it's not my favourite musical genre.
- I can't stand opera, or any musical that isn't Mary Poppins. And even then, only on Christmas.
- Cheese and marmite together in bread = best sandwich ever.
- I always root for the underdog, or choose off-kilter things as my favourites. I love the word anti.
- My favourite guitar in the world is the Fender Jaguar. In Lake Placid Blue, of course.
- I can't cook more than about five dishes, but I can cook them well.
- On the same note, I can only speak English but I figure, if you're going to specialise better make a good job of it.
- I am fuelled by salad, orange juice and beer. Too much of one is balanced by the other.
- I've got Asperger syndrome and I'm bipolar.
- My favourite song of all-time is Karma Police by Radiohead.
- My favourite album of all-time is tied between The Joshua Tree by U2, Repeater + 3 Songs by Fugazi and Nevermind by Nirvana.
- I'm an agnostic but I believe the absence of religion in Western society, combined with its prevalence in Eastern society, is part of the global problem.
- I believe that medical science works with the best of intentions but being able to cure every disease only leads to massive over-population and a subsequent reduced quality of life for everyone.
Films: 110 movies, approx. Lots of Sci-Fi. I wish I had the patience to list 'em all.
- Airplane!: Still the greatest spoof of all time. Any parody film with the title 'X Movie' just can't come close.
- American Psycho: Man lives out psychotic Serial Killer headtrip in his mind. I feel like this all the time. But I'd rather watch a film than do it.
- As Good as It Gets: I like romantic comedies if they're strange and thought-provoking, not just sappy heartstring pullers. This one is the former, but accidently achieves the latter. Love it.
- Back to the Future: The whole trilogy. Probably the best feelgood films of all time, and started my lifelong obsession with Time Travel and DeLoreans.
- Batman Begins: I don't care what anyone says, this is the better movie by far, Heath Ledger notwithstanding. Best live-action Batman, no question. Would be even better if they'd trimmed the best parts from this and 'The Dark Knight to form one three hour epic with no filler. Because come on, both films have scenes that could be deleted without losing anything. In Begins it's talkie scenes, in Knight it's the less flashy action scenes, especially the ones where you can't see a damn thing because there are too many tight cuts and 360 spin shots. Just because you can doesn't mean you should'', Mr Nolan.
- Batman Returns: Second best live-action Batman. I would have appreciated less emphasis on Penguin, but you can't have it all.
- Beavis And Butthead Do America: I don't know how, but simple little double entendre jokes become hilarious in the hands of Mike Judge's sniggering teenage slackers. They're my role models. Well, nearly.
- Futurama features: Currently 3, with my favourite being Beast With A Billion Backs. Bender's Game is pretty heinous, all told. What is the obsession with Bender?
- Gattaca: A masterpiece. Criminally underrated film with an achiningly gorgeous soundtrack.
- Serenity: I have it sub-labeled "Firefly: The Big Damn Movie", as it should be.
- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: I don't think enough people in their twenties are watching these old classics. Shame on them, because this raised the bar for every movie I saw afterwards. Sure, Clint is fantastic, but I love Tuco. If I was going to be a villain, I'd be him.
Tuco: I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise.
- Mars Attacks!: Can't believe there's no page for this yet. It's on my to-do list. What a side-splitting send-up of all those 50s sci-fi flicks I only vaguely remember from daytime TV as a kid.
- Star Wars
- Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: KHAAAAAN!!!
23 different TV shows with varying amounts of episodes. I have quite eclectic tastes.
- American Dad!: Probably my favourite right now. Love it. Done a lot of edits on the page too.
- Batman Beyond: Sacriligeously I prefer this to the one below.
- Batman: The Animated Series
- The Boondocks
- Classic Albums: Fascinating viewing if you're a musician.
- Dexter: Been unhappy with the finales to ALL THREE SEASONS. Might have to give up on it, even though this site introduced me to it.
- Family Guy: First three seasons and Blue Harvest ONLY; lost interest after that.
- Fawlty Towers
- Firefly: Still can't believe Fox cancelled it. Could have been HUGE if it ran a couple more seasons.
- I'm Alan Partridge: The British definition of snark and sarcasm, in one vile little man. Classic Comedic Sociopathy.
- Life On Mars: Great first season, rougher second one.
- Life On Mars: Might end up being better than the original in some ways. Not sure about Whoopi Goldberg being in it though.
- My Name Is Earl: Great first season compromised by patchy writing ever since. Shame as this could be a spiritual successor to Quantum Leap.
- Nathan Barley: Another cult show that should be on here somewhere. Takes a good shot at the idiocy of people of today - more technology and money than sense.
- Quantum Leap: Kinda trails off around the third season doesn't it?
- The Simpsons: First nine seasons. Lost it's heart after that. Though there is the occasional spark of brilliance in the five seasons after that.
- South Park: Almost all of them. If you're gonna do toilet humour, might as well throw it all in there. Parker and Stone must know more euphemisms for bodily functions than the writers of any other show. Combined.
- Star Trek: The Next Generation: Whittling it down to only the best episodes, which is roughly half of the lot.
- Top Gear: Especially the last five seasons since the relaunch. Some of the challenges are suicidal. The direction is incredible and the choice of music sublime. And James May. I think it's safe to say Even the Guys Want Him. This also applies to Will Young when Jeremy Clarkson is involved. Man crushes all around! Oh, and sometimes, they talk about cars. That's good too.